WEBVTT

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Poem written just
before turning 50.

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Mickey Mantle didn't
believe he'd make it to 50,

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a book told me.

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David told me it
was 40, actually.

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The Babe only just
made it past 50.

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The termites have got
me, Babe told Connie.

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Dad, Steve Carey, Albert Notley
Jr. none of them made 50.

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Bill Russell just left at 88.

00:00:24.960 --> 00:00:27.240 align:middle line:84%
Beulah was mad she
wouldn't make 100

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when cancer came her way at 94.

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I dreamed when she was in hip
replacement surgery in 2011

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the doc put a little red, white
and blue ABA basketball in there

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to keep it all together.

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Is Claudell Washington
really gone, Rickey?

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I'll never be older
than Phil Niekro.

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I'll always be older
than Juan Soto.

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Come home, Brittney Griner.

00:00:53.400 --> 00:00:56.000 align:middle line:90%
Be let go and brought home.

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Where's that goddamned
bridge, Il Punto?

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They say the Bostonians
say Bucky Fucking

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Dent, a sentence, a poem.

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But Judy, our neighbor,
who dated Adam the rocker,

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whispered, Fucky Dent to
me once in the old daze.

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Teddy Higuera and Larry
Gura, Tippy Martinez

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and Scott McGregor,
Yankee killers all.

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But George Brett was
a fucking Balrog,

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a demon from the ancient world.

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Actually, no, he was
Morgoth, the Dark Lord.

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Edgar Martinez was
the fucking Balrog.

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[LAUGHTER]

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