WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:03.170 align:middle line:90% 00:00:03.170 --> 00:00:04.110 align:middle line:90% All right. 00:00:04.110 --> 00:00:05.660 align:middle line:90% Tell It Slant. 00:00:05.660 --> 00:00:12.480 align:middle line:84% So the word spiculated in this poem just means spiky. 00:00:12.480 --> 00:00:14.880 align:middle line:90% It's doctorese for spiky. 00:00:14.880 --> 00:00:16.770 align:middle line:84% But if you have to go to school that long, 00:00:16.770 --> 00:00:19.850 align:middle line:84% you should be allowed to add a couple of syllables to a word 00:00:19.850 --> 00:00:22.610 align:middle line:90% if you want so that's fine. 00:00:22.610 --> 00:00:24.080 align:middle line:84% And I'm trying to think if there's 00:00:24.080 --> 00:00:25.372 align:middle line:90% anything else you need to know. 00:00:25.372 --> 00:00:30.837 align:middle line:84% Carcinoma is a cancerous solid tumor, basically. 00:00:30.837 --> 00:00:31.920 align:middle line:90% I think that's everything. 00:00:31.920 --> 00:00:34.400 align:middle line:84% Oh, and Emily Dickinson, of course, 00:00:34.400 --> 00:00:37.940 align:middle line:84% patron saint of all of us who struggle with illness 00:00:37.940 --> 00:00:42.300 align:middle line:84% and poetry, said, she said to tell the truth, 00:00:42.300 --> 00:00:46.910 align:middle line:84% but tell it slant, so this is tell it slant. 00:00:46.910 --> 00:00:53.070 align:middle line:84% You float in the MRI gloam, several spiculated masses. 00:00:53.070 --> 00:00:54.530 align:middle line:90% I name you cactus. 00:00:54.530 --> 00:00:56.670 align:middle line:90% Carcinoma be damned. 00:00:56.670 --> 00:01:00.650 align:middle line:90% You make a desert of all of me. 00:01:00.650 --> 00:01:02.880 align:middle line:90% Have I said it slant enough? 00:01:02.880 --> 00:01:04.980 align:middle line:90% Here's a shot between the eyes. 00:01:04.980 --> 00:01:07.680 align:middle line:84% Six days before my 37th birthday, 00:01:07.680 --> 00:01:11.670 align:middle line:84% a stranger called and said, you have cancer, unfortunately, 00:01:11.670 --> 00:01:13.190 align:middle line:90% and then hung up the phone. 00:01:13.190 --> 00:01:15.950 align:middle line:90% 00:01:15.950 --> 00:01:21.680 align:middle line:84% I had the incredible beyond my wildest dreams privilege 00:01:21.680 --> 00:01:25.340 align:middle line:84% of having an op-ed published in the New York Times about a month 00:01:25.340 --> 00:01:27.970 align:middle line:84% before my book came out, and seeing my name in that font made 00:01:27.970 --> 00:01:28.470 align:middle line:90% me-- 00:01:28.470 --> 00:01:29.970 align:middle line:84% I don't think I even realized it had 00:01:29.970 --> 00:01:31.530 align:middle line:90% its own font until that moment. 00:01:31.530 --> 00:01:33.960 align:middle line:84% I was like oh, my God, there it is in the font. 00:01:33.960 --> 00:01:37.580 align:middle line:84% I think it said, Ms Farris is a poet. 00:01:37.580 --> 00:01:38.460 align:middle line:90% OK, sure. 00:01:38.460 --> 00:01:40.340 align:middle line:90% Yeah, now I am. 00:01:40.340 --> 00:01:43.490 align:middle line:84% And she and the editor at the New York Times-- 00:01:43.490 --> 00:01:46.253 align:middle line:84% well, they do a very thorough fact check. 00:01:46.253 --> 00:01:48.170 align:middle line:84% I'm pretty sure they called up my kindergarten 00:01:48.170 --> 00:01:51.510 align:middle line:84% teacher about this New York Times op-ed that I did. 00:01:51.510 --> 00:01:54.150 align:middle line:84% And one of the things they did was they were like, 00:01:54.150 --> 00:01:55.860 align:middle line:84% OK, we've been hunting this down, 00:01:55.860 --> 00:01:59.940 align:middle line:84% and we can't seem to find the person who called you. 00:01:59.940 --> 00:02:02.060 align:middle line:84% And this seems very abrupt, like, not something 00:02:02.060 --> 00:02:03.270 align:middle line:90% that would actually happen. 00:02:03.270 --> 00:02:05.728 align:middle line:84% You have cancer, unfortunately, and then hung up the phone. 00:02:05.728 --> 00:02:09.610 align:middle line:84% And I said, no, actually, it was a slightly longer conversation 00:02:09.610 --> 00:02:10.110 align:middle line:90% than that. 00:02:10.110 --> 00:02:12.900 align:middle line:84% I said, can you give me any more information? 00:02:12.900 --> 00:02:15.590 align:middle line:84% And this person said, no, someone 00:02:15.590 --> 00:02:20.480 align:middle line:84% will contact you in two weeks, and then they hung up the phone. 00:02:20.480 --> 00:02:22.220 align:middle line:84% So I think it was perhaps actually 00:02:22.220 --> 00:02:24.620 align:middle line:84% I might have made it better in the telling 00:02:24.620 --> 00:02:28.250 align:middle line:84% than the actual experience, but it was very important for me 00:02:28.250 --> 00:02:30.340 align:middle line:84% because I learned something that I'd never 00:02:30.340 --> 00:02:34.580 align:middle line:84% learned how to do before, which is in the face of-- 00:02:34.580 --> 00:02:37.280 align:middle line:84% and keep in mind, this was August 2020, right? 00:02:37.280 --> 00:02:38.390 align:middle line:90% This was pre-vaccine. 00:02:38.390 --> 00:02:44.800 align:middle line:84% This was the second spike of the pandemic, not nearly 00:02:44.800 --> 00:02:46.400 align:middle line:90% as big as what was to come. 00:02:46.400 --> 00:02:49.570 align:middle line:84% But it was a stressful time to be in health. 00:02:49.570 --> 00:02:52.430 align:middle line:90% But at that time, I got up. 00:02:52.430 --> 00:02:53.180 align:middle line:90% Wiped my eye. 00:02:53.180 --> 00:02:54.350 align:middle line:90% Well, I cried a little, OK. 00:02:54.350 --> 00:02:56.600 align:middle line:84% I cried a little, and then I got up and I got dressed, 00:02:56.600 --> 00:02:58.850 align:middle line:84% and I drove directly to the Oncology Center, 00:02:58.850 --> 00:03:00.830 align:middle line:84% and I went up to the front desk and said, 00:03:00.830 --> 00:03:03.370 align:middle line:84% I don't have an appointment, but I'll be sitting over there. 00:03:03.370 --> 00:03:05.870 align:middle line:84% And no rush, I know you guys are busy, 00:03:05.870 --> 00:03:09.538 align:middle line:84% but if anybody has time during the course of today, 00:03:09.538 --> 00:03:11.080 align:middle line:84% I will be sitting over here because I 00:03:11.080 --> 00:03:12.650 align:middle line:90% need to talk to somebody. 00:03:12.650 --> 00:03:16.660 align:middle line:84% I cannot wait for two weeks to learn more about the situation. 00:03:16.660 --> 00:03:18.460 align:middle line:90% And that was when I learned-- 00:03:18.460 --> 00:03:21.740 align:middle line:84% the beginning of how I learned to advocate for myself, 00:03:21.740 --> 00:03:24.010 align:middle line:90% medically speaking. 00:03:24.010 --> 00:03:27.790 align:middle line:84% And I mention it because I think it's important, 00:03:27.790 --> 00:03:28.868 align:middle line:90% because I didn't know. 00:03:28.868 --> 00:03:30.410 align:middle line:84% My family didn't have a lot of money. 00:03:30.410 --> 00:03:33.160 align:middle line:84% We did not go to doctors very often, 00:03:33.160 --> 00:03:36.730 align:middle line:84% and to learn that it's important to learn how to advocate 00:03:36.730 --> 00:03:37.700 align:middle line:90% for yourself medically. 00:03:37.700 --> 00:03:39.370 align:middle line:84% Just it's like, I want to pass that 00:03:39.370 --> 00:03:44.440 align:middle line:84% on to people who might not know because I did not know. 00:03:44.440 --> 00:03:46.020 align:middle line:90% All right.