WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.009 align:middle line:90% 00:00:02.009 --> 00:00:05.310 align:middle line:84% We lead a double life, all of us, 00:00:05.310 --> 00:00:09.300 align:middle line:84% the double life of past and present. 00:00:09.300 --> 00:00:12.480 align:middle line:84% And I think that sometimes that's 00:00:12.480 --> 00:00:15.810 align:middle line:84% an artificial division, the idea that the past is 00:00:15.810 --> 00:00:18.870 align:middle line:90% that which is finished. 00:00:18.870 --> 00:00:22.680 align:middle line:84% I find, at least, that it keeps reincarnating itself. 00:00:22.680 --> 00:00:28.410 align:middle line:84% And consequently, the present is reacting to it. 00:00:28.410 --> 00:00:31.290 align:middle line:84% This poem-- requires a lot of breath, 00:00:31.290 --> 00:00:34.290 align:middle line:90% so I'm taking a little time-- 00:00:34.290 --> 00:00:37.320 align:middle line:84% involves that sort of transparency, 00:00:37.320 --> 00:00:42.060 align:middle line:84% and it takes its form from the blues. 00:00:42.060 --> 00:00:45.195 align:middle line:90% It's called, "Black Fish Blues." 00:00:45.195 --> 00:00:51.540 align:middle line:90% 00:00:51.540 --> 00:00:55.600 align:middle line:84% "I've got a cigarette and a bee outside my window. 00:00:55.600 --> 00:01:00.210 align:middle line:84% The window is dusty, speckled like an old pear skin. 00:01:00.210 --> 00:01:03.990 align:middle line:84% I've got a cleaning woman coming once a week, a pomegranate 00:01:03.990 --> 00:01:09.720 align:middle line:84% tree with its red bomber lips ticking the wind, quiet outside, 00:01:09.720 --> 00:01:13.140 align:middle line:90% wind you can see but not hear. 00:01:13.140 --> 00:01:18.120 align:middle line:84% I've got a cup of coffee and hours the size of my palm, 00:01:18.120 --> 00:01:23.040 align:middle line:84% a cup of coffee and the taste of muddy water stubbing my teeth, 00:01:23.040 --> 00:01:27.570 align:middle line:84% muddy water like the child in me finds in her dreams. 00:01:27.570 --> 00:01:30.540 align:middle line:90% I don't know why I go there. 00:01:30.540 --> 00:01:33.900 align:middle line:84% Bee with its striped brain loves the curl, 00:01:33.900 --> 00:01:40.350 align:middle line:84% light shades in the air, curl you can follow but not see. 00:01:40.350 --> 00:01:43.710 align:middle line:84% I've got a view and a neighbor with a drainpipe running off 00:01:43.710 --> 00:01:44.970 align:middle line:90% his roof. 00:01:44.970 --> 00:01:46.830 align:middle line:84% I've got a feel for the plumbing, 00:01:46.830 --> 00:01:49.210 align:middle line:90% broken in those shadows. 00:01:49.210 --> 00:01:53.040 align:middle line:84% I've got May light coming in strong on all stations 00:01:53.040 --> 00:01:56.280 align:middle line:84% and branches knocking their shadows flat 00:01:56.280 --> 00:01:58.650 align:middle line:90% on the blocks of the fence. 00:01:58.650 --> 00:02:01.410 align:middle line:84% I've got a whole cluster of black fish bobbing 00:02:01.410 --> 00:02:05.220 align:middle line:84% in the top block, fish that touch you quick, 00:02:05.220 --> 00:02:08.620 align:middle line:90% constellations below the water. 00:02:08.620 --> 00:02:10.680 align:middle line:90% I remember this. 00:02:10.680 --> 00:02:13.650 align:middle line:84% I've got a third hand and a third leg, 00:02:13.650 --> 00:02:16.590 align:middle line:84% another skin that remembers things. 00:02:16.590 --> 00:02:19.080 align:middle line:84% I've got that leg halfway up the road. 00:02:19.080 --> 00:02:24.030 align:middle line:84% I'm walking with my sister in the snow of '58. 00:02:24.030 --> 00:02:28.800 align:middle line:84% There's the body of a rabbit trapped beneath the ice. 00:02:28.800 --> 00:02:33.180 align:middle line:84% There's the marble of stillness and shadow. 00:02:33.180 --> 00:02:36.850 align:middle line:84% It's a long way to the heart of our house. 00:02:36.850 --> 00:02:42.000 align:middle line:84% It's a long way, Sister, to hear my good legs crossed 00:02:42.000 --> 00:02:44.490 align:middle line:90% as I sit in my chair. 00:02:44.490 --> 00:02:48.750 align:middle line:84% I've got shoes waiting over in the corner like I've died, 00:02:48.750 --> 00:02:52.900 align:middle line:84% red shoes that go with nothing I own. 00:02:52.900 --> 00:02:57.240 align:middle line:84% They've got their heels near each other for conversation. 00:02:57.240 --> 00:03:00.120 align:middle line:84% I'm talking about being all right when you 00:03:00.120 --> 00:03:03.240 align:middle line:90% mute yourself coming or going. 00:03:03.240 --> 00:03:07.530 align:middle line:84% I've got a bee talking, soft zeros near a tree 00:03:07.530 --> 00:03:09.330 align:middle line:90% outside my window. 00:03:09.330 --> 00:03:13.410 align:middle line:84% I've got an eye that can look right through. 00:03:13.410 --> 00:03:17.430 align:middle line:84% I've got a soul full of salt like an olive. 00:03:17.430 --> 00:03:22.140 align:middle line:84% I've got a cleaning woman who comes and touches all my things, 00:03:22.140 --> 00:03:26.010 align:middle line:84% who raises them up and sets them down. 00:03:26.010 --> 00:03:29.700 align:middle line:84% I've got an idea they love her, not me. 00:03:29.700 --> 00:03:33.810 align:middle line:84% I've got an idea each girl, dumb like the spring, 00:03:33.810 --> 00:03:37.830 align:middle line:90% thinks she's the first and only. 00:03:37.830 --> 00:03:40.650 align:middle line:84% I've got a notion to sit here all day 00:03:40.650 --> 00:03:42.900 align:middle line:84% and get the blues about the light 00:03:42.900 --> 00:03:46.380 align:middle line:84% and how it will feel in 10 years. 00:03:46.380 --> 00:03:48.510 align:middle line:90% I don't know why. 00:03:48.510 --> 00:03:51.840 align:middle line:84% Sometimes the past walks right through me 00:03:51.840 --> 00:03:54.210 align:middle line:90% like an old boyfriend. 00:03:54.210 --> 00:03:59.760 align:middle line:84% Sometimes the past like an old boyfriend walks through me. 00:03:59.760 --> 00:04:03.240 align:middle line:84% I don't know if I say goodbye or hello 00:04:03.240 --> 00:04:07.140 align:middle line:84% or drink coffee if I answer its question 00:04:07.140 --> 00:04:11.760 align:middle line:84% or get distracted, hearing my mother and father come in late 00:04:11.760 --> 00:04:13.890 align:middle line:90% and drop their coats. 00:04:13.890 --> 00:04:17.940 align:middle line:84% It's spring, '60, their dark feet 00:04:17.940 --> 00:04:21.000 align:middle line:84% swim near my door and their voices hook 00:04:21.000 --> 00:04:24.180 align:middle line:90% on the taut line of whispers. 00:04:24.180 --> 00:04:26.760 align:middle line:84% I've got a line on those whispers. 00:04:26.760 --> 00:04:29.200 align:middle line:84% I've got them hushing each other. 00:04:29.200 --> 00:04:34.290 align:middle line:84% My mother and father, coming in strong and late, 00:04:34.290 --> 00:04:37.350 align:middle line:84% they're saying words low as wounds, 00:04:37.350 --> 00:04:41.130 align:middle line:84% given underwater, wounds without lights on. 00:04:41.130 --> 00:04:45.960 align:middle line:84% And I'm bursting to tell them, hushing each other, my mother 00:04:45.960 --> 00:04:47.190 align:middle line:90% and father. 00:04:47.190 --> 00:04:52.340 align:middle line:84% I'm awake, still awake, wide awake."