WEBVTT

00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:03.480 align:middle line:84%
This poem, "Miss
Congeniality," you know,

00:00:03.480 --> 00:00:06.720 align:middle line:84%
there's always someone in
the yearbook who's miss this,

00:00:06.720 --> 00:00:09.960 align:middle line:84%
and miss that, and I thought
it was a particularly sad fate

00:00:09.960 --> 00:00:12.930 align:middle line:90%
to be Miss Congeniality.

00:00:12.930 --> 00:00:17.010 align:middle line:84%
You've had to make a lot of
compromises to be that person.

00:00:17.010 --> 00:00:19.530 align:middle line:84%
So this is called
"Miss Congeniality."

00:00:19.530 --> 00:00:23.310 align:middle line:84%
"Even as an embryo, she
made room for the other guy.

00:00:23.310 --> 00:00:25.920 align:middle line:84%
Slick and bloody,
she emerged quietly.

00:00:25.920 --> 00:00:28.560 align:middle line:84%
Why spoil the
doctor's best moment?

00:00:28.560 --> 00:00:31.620 align:middle line:84%
When dad ran over her
tricycle, she smiled.

00:00:31.620 --> 00:00:36.030 align:middle line:84%
When mom drowned her kitten,
she curtsied, a Swiss statuette.

00:00:36.030 --> 00:00:39.270 align:middle line:84%
Her teachers like the way
she sat at her desk composed

00:00:39.270 --> 00:00:40.860 align:middle line:90%
as yesterday's news.

00:00:40.860 --> 00:00:43.110 align:middle line:84%
In high school, she
decorated her locker

00:00:43.110 --> 00:00:46.200 align:middle line:84%
with heart shaped doilies,
and only went so far,

00:00:46.200 --> 00:00:48.330 align:middle line:90%
a cartoon kiss at the door.

00:00:48.330 --> 00:00:51.720 align:middle line:84%
She read the classics, The
Glamorous Dolly Madison,

00:00:51.720 --> 00:00:54.690 align:middle line:84%
and dreamed of marrying the boy
in the choir whose voice never

00:00:54.690 --> 00:00:55.770 align:middle line:90%
changed.

00:00:55.770 --> 00:00:57.840 align:middle line:84%
Wedding photos
reveal a waterfall

00:00:57.840 --> 00:00:59.340 align:middle line:90%
where her face should be.

00:00:59.340 --> 00:01:01.770 align:middle line:84%
Her husband admired
how she bound her feet

00:01:01.770 --> 00:01:03.510 align:middle line:90%
to buff the linoleum.

00:01:03.510 --> 00:01:06.900 align:middle line:84%
When she got old, she remembered
to say pardon to the children

00:01:06.900 --> 00:01:10.560 align:middle line:84%
she no longer recognized,
smiling sons and daughters who

00:01:10.560 --> 00:01:15.780 align:middle line:84%
sat at her bedside, watching
her fade to a wink."

00:01:15.780 --> 00:01:18.540 align:middle line:90%
So that's her fate.

00:01:18.540 --> 00:01:21.510 align:middle line:84%
If any of you are Miss
Congeniality, I'm sorry,

00:01:21.510 --> 00:01:24.200 align:middle line:90%
don't take it personally.