WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:00.660 align:middle line:90% 00:00:00.660 --> 00:00:04.710 align:middle line:84% Somewhere in here is a poem about shaving. 00:00:04.710 --> 00:00:07.185 align:middle line:84% OK, this is called, "Steady Hands at Seattle General." 00:00:07.185 --> 00:00:11.950 align:middle line:90% 00:00:11.950 --> 00:00:14.800 align:middle line:84% "Inside of two days, I was shaving myself. 00:00:14.800 --> 00:00:17.530 align:middle line:84% And I even shaved a couple of new arrivals 00:00:17.530 --> 00:00:21.910 align:middle line:84% because the drugs they injected me with had an amazing effect. 00:00:21.910 --> 00:00:24.130 align:middle line:84% I call it amazing because only hours 00:00:24.130 --> 00:00:26.080 align:middle line:84% before, they'd wheeled me through corridors 00:00:26.080 --> 00:00:29.800 align:middle line:84% in which I hallucinated a soft, summery rain. 00:00:29.800 --> 00:00:33.280 align:middle line:84% In the hospital rooms on either side, objects-- 00:00:33.280 --> 00:00:37.300 align:middle line:84% bases, ashtrays, beds-- had looked wet and scary, 00:00:37.300 --> 00:00:41.080 align:middle line:84% hardly bothering to cover up their true meanings. 00:00:41.080 --> 00:00:43.480 align:middle line:84% They ran a few syringes full into me, 00:00:43.480 --> 00:00:46.630 align:middle line:84% and I felt like I'd turned from a light Styrofoam thing 00:00:46.630 --> 00:00:48.190 align:middle line:90% into a person. 00:00:48.190 --> 00:00:50.890 align:middle line:84% I held up my hands before my eyes. 00:00:50.890 --> 00:00:54.250 align:middle line:84% The hands were as still as sculptures. 00:00:54.250 --> 00:00:57.220 align:middle line:90% I shaved my roommate, Bill. 00:00:57.220 --> 00:01:00.670 align:middle line:84% Don't get tricky with my mustache, he said. 00:01:00.670 --> 00:01:02.080 align:middle line:90% OK so far? 00:01:02.080 --> 00:01:03.970 align:middle line:90% So far. 00:01:03.970 --> 00:01:05.920 align:middle line:90% I'll do the other side. 00:01:05.920 --> 00:01:08.980 align:middle line:90% That would make sense, partner. 00:01:08.980 --> 00:01:12.160 align:middle line:84% Just below one cheekbone, Bill had a small blemish where 00:01:12.160 --> 00:01:14.200 align:middle line:90% a bullet had entered his face. 00:01:14.200 --> 00:01:16.630 align:middle line:84% And in the other cheek, a slightly larger scar where 00:01:16.630 --> 00:01:19.780 align:middle line:90% the slug had gone on its way. 00:01:19.780 --> 00:01:22.390 align:middle line:84% When you were shot right through your face like that, 00:01:22.390 --> 00:01:25.720 align:middle line:84% did the bullet go on to do anything interesting? 00:01:25.720 --> 00:01:26.560 align:middle line:90% How would I know? 00:01:26.560 --> 00:01:28.780 align:middle line:90% I didn't take notes. 00:01:28.780 --> 00:01:30.520 align:middle line:84% Even if it goes on through, you still 00:01:30.520 --> 00:01:32.245 align:middle line:84% feel like you just got shot in the head. 00:01:32.245 --> 00:01:35.350 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHTER] 00:01:35.350 --> 00:01:38.200 align:middle line:90% 00:01:38.200 --> 00:01:41.440 align:middle line:84% What about this little scar here, through your sideburn? 00:01:41.440 --> 00:01:42.100 align:middle line:90% I don't know. 00:01:42.100 --> 00:01:43.570 align:middle line:90% Maybe I was born with that one. 00:01:43.570 --> 00:01:46.540 align:middle line:90% I never saw it before. 00:01:46.540 --> 00:01:48.010 align:middle line:84% Someday, people are going to read 00:01:48.010 --> 00:01:50.080 align:middle line:90% about you in a story or a poem. 00:01:50.080 --> 00:01:53.500 align:middle line:84% Will you describe yourself for those people? 00:01:53.500 --> 00:01:54.490 align:middle line:90% Oh, I don't know. 00:01:54.490 --> 00:01:56.230 align:middle line:84% I'm a fat piece of shit, I guess. 00:01:56.230 --> 00:01:59.410 align:middle line:90% 00:01:59.410 --> 00:02:01.210 align:middle line:90% No, I'm serious. 00:02:01.210 --> 00:02:03.100 align:middle line:84% You're not going to write about me. 00:02:03.100 --> 00:02:04.930 align:middle line:90% Hey, I'm a writer. 00:02:04.930 --> 00:02:08.298 align:middle line:84% Well, then, just tell them I'm overweight. 00:02:08.298 --> 00:02:08.965 align:middle line:90% He's overweight. 00:02:08.965 --> 00:02:12.328 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHTER] 00:02:12.328 --> 00:02:15.290 align:middle line:90% 00:02:15.290 --> 00:02:17.060 align:middle line:90% I've been shot twice. 00:02:17.060 --> 00:02:18.140 align:middle line:90% Twice? 00:02:18.140 --> 00:02:20.960 align:middle line:84% Once by each wife, for a total of three bullets, 00:02:20.960 --> 00:02:24.830 align:middle line:84% making four holes, three in's and one out. 00:02:24.830 --> 00:02:26.990 align:middle line:90% And you're still alive? 00:02:26.990 --> 00:02:29.570 align:middle line:84% Are you going to change any of this for your poem? 00:02:29.570 --> 00:02:32.270 align:middle line:90% No, it's going in word for word. 00:02:32.270 --> 00:02:34.820 align:middle line:84% That's too bad, because asking me if I'm alive 00:02:34.820 --> 00:02:38.480 align:middle line:90% makes you look kind of stupid. 00:02:38.480 --> 00:02:41.270 align:middle line:90% Obviously, I am. 00:02:41.270 --> 00:02:43.700 align:middle line:84% Well, maybe I mean alive in a deeper sense. 00:02:43.700 --> 00:02:47.540 align:middle line:84% You could be talking and still not be alive in a deeper sense. 00:02:47.540 --> 00:02:52.112 align:middle line:84% It don't get no deeper than the kind of shit we're in right now. 00:02:52.112 --> 00:02:52.820 align:middle line:90% What do you mean? 00:02:52.820 --> 00:02:53.600 align:middle line:90% It's great here. 00:02:53.600 --> 00:02:55.790 align:middle line:90% They even give you cigarettes. 00:02:55.790 --> 00:02:57.470 align:middle line:90% I didn't get any yet. 00:02:57.470 --> 00:02:58.730 align:middle line:90% Here you go. 00:02:58.730 --> 00:03:00.530 align:middle line:90% Hey, thanks. 00:03:00.530 --> 00:03:03.200 align:middle line:84% Pay me back when they give you yours. 00:03:03.200 --> 00:03:04.910 align:middle line:90% Maybe. 00:03:04.910 --> 00:03:07.280 align:middle line:84% What did you say when she shot you? 00:03:07.280 --> 00:03:09.650 align:middle line:90% I said, "You shot me." 00:03:09.650 --> 00:03:13.010 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHTER] 00:03:13.010 --> 00:03:15.420 align:middle line:90% 00:03:15.420 --> 00:03:16.290 align:middle line:90% Both times? 00:03:16.290 --> 00:03:18.810 align:middle line:90% Both wives? 00:03:18.810 --> 00:03:20.400 align:middle line:84% The first time, I didn't say anything, 00:03:20.400 --> 00:03:23.940 align:middle line:84% because she shot me in the mouth. 00:03:23.940 --> 00:03:25.890 align:middle line:90% So you couldn't talk. 00:03:25.890 --> 00:03:29.190 align:middle line:84% I was knocked out cold, is the reason I couldn't talk. 00:03:29.190 --> 00:03:31.140 align:middle line:84% And I still remember the dream I had while I 00:03:31.140 --> 00:03:33.400 align:middle line:90% was knocked out that time. 00:03:33.400 --> 00:03:35.530 align:middle line:90% What was the dream? 00:03:35.530 --> 00:03:36.820 align:middle line:90% How could I tell you about it? 00:03:36.820 --> 00:03:37.750 align:middle line:90% It was a dream. 00:03:37.750 --> 00:03:39.810 align:middle line:84% It didn't make any fucking sense, man. 00:03:39.810 --> 00:03:42.060 align:middle line:90% But I do remember it. 00:03:42.060 --> 00:03:45.210 align:middle line:84% You can't describe it even a little bit? 00:03:45.210 --> 00:03:47.370 align:middle line:84% I really don't know what the description would be. 00:03:47.370 --> 00:03:48.690 align:middle line:90% I'm sorry. 00:03:48.690 --> 00:03:49.530 align:middle line:90% Anything. 00:03:49.530 --> 00:03:51.360 align:middle line:90% Anything at all. 00:03:51.360 --> 00:03:53.460 align:middle line:84% Well, for one thing, the dream is 00:03:53.460 --> 00:03:55.930 align:middle line:84% something that keeps coming back over and over. 00:03:55.930 --> 00:03:57.390 align:middle line:90% I mean when I'm awake. 00:03:57.390 --> 00:03:59.535 align:middle line:84% Every time I remember my first wife, 00:03:59.535 --> 00:04:01.410 align:middle line:84% I remember that she pulled the trigger on me, 00:04:01.410 --> 00:04:03.990 align:middle line:90% and then here comes that dream. 00:04:03.990 --> 00:04:05.430 align:middle line:90% And the dream wasn't-- 00:04:05.430 --> 00:04:07.380 align:middle line:84% there wasn't anything sad about it. 00:04:07.380 --> 00:04:10.320 align:middle line:84% But when I remember it, I get like, fuck, man, 00:04:10.320 --> 00:04:12.800 align:middle line:90% she really-- she shot me. 00:04:12.800 --> 00:04:13.905 align:middle line:90% And here's that dream. 00:04:13.905 --> 00:04:17.390 align:middle line:90% 00:04:17.390 --> 00:04:19.399 align:middle line:84% Did you ever see that Elvis Presley movie, 00:04:19.399 --> 00:04:22.100 align:middle line:90% Follow That Dream? 00:04:22.100 --> 00:04:23.210 align:middle line:90% Follow That Dream? 00:04:23.210 --> 00:04:24.020 align:middle line:90% Yeah, I did. 00:04:24.020 --> 00:04:26.570 align:middle line:84% I was just going to mention that. 00:04:26.570 --> 00:04:27.680 align:middle line:90% OK, you're all done. 00:04:27.680 --> 00:04:29.210 align:middle line:90% Look in the mirror. 00:04:29.210 --> 00:04:30.140 align:middle line:90% Right. 00:04:30.140 --> 00:04:31.910 align:middle line:90% What do you see? 00:04:31.910 --> 00:04:35.150 align:middle line:84% How did I get so fat when I never eat? 00:04:35.150 --> 00:04:36.650 align:middle line:90% Is that all? 00:04:36.650 --> 00:04:37.760 align:middle line:90% Well, I don't know. 00:04:37.760 --> 00:04:39.650 align:middle line:90% I just got here. 00:04:39.650 --> 00:04:41.280 align:middle line:90% What about your life? 00:04:41.280 --> 00:04:41.780 align:middle line:90% Ha. 00:04:41.780 --> 00:04:43.550 align:middle line:90% That's a good one. 00:04:43.550 --> 00:04:45.420 align:middle line:90% What about your past? 00:04:45.420 --> 00:04:46.640 align:middle line:90% What about it? 00:04:46.640 --> 00:04:49.640 align:middle line:84% When you look back, what do you see? 00:04:49.640 --> 00:04:51.830 align:middle line:90% Wrecked cars. 00:04:51.830 --> 00:04:53.540 align:middle line:90% Any people in them? 00:04:53.540 --> 00:04:54.364 align:middle line:90% Yes. 00:04:54.364 --> 00:04:55.910 align:middle line:90% Who? 00:04:55.910 --> 00:04:59.090 align:middle line:84% People who are just meat now, man. 00:04:59.090 --> 00:05:01.020 align:middle line:90% Is that really how it is? 00:05:01.020 --> 00:05:02.120 align:middle line:90% How do I know how it is? 00:05:02.120 --> 00:05:05.090 align:middle line:90% I just got here, and it stinks. 00:05:05.090 --> 00:05:05.840 align:middle line:90% Are you kidding? 00:05:05.840 --> 00:05:07.640 align:middle line:84% They're pumping Haldol by the quart. 00:05:07.640 --> 00:05:09.530 align:middle line:90% It's a playpen. 00:05:09.530 --> 00:05:11.880 align:middle line:84% I hope so, because I've been in places where all they do 00:05:11.880 --> 00:05:13.880 align:middle line:84% is wrap you in a wet sheet and let you bite down 00:05:13.880 --> 00:05:16.880 align:middle line:84% on a little rubber toy for puppies. 00:05:16.880 --> 00:05:19.890 align:middle line:84% I could see living here two weeks out of every month. 00:05:19.890 --> 00:05:21.530 align:middle line:90% Well, I'm older than you are. 00:05:21.530 --> 00:05:23.510 align:middle line:84% You can take a couple more rides on this wheel 00:05:23.510 --> 00:05:26.210 align:middle line:84% and still get out with all your arms and legs stuck on right. 00:05:26.210 --> 00:05:27.770 align:middle line:90% Not me. 00:05:27.770 --> 00:05:29.990 align:middle line:90% Hey, you're doing fine. 00:05:29.990 --> 00:05:31.760 align:middle line:90% Talk into here. 00:05:31.760 --> 00:05:33.920 align:middle line:90% Talk into your bullet hole? 00:05:33.920 --> 00:05:35.510 align:middle line:90% Talk into my bullet hole. 00:05:35.510 --> 00:05:36.440 align:middle line:90% Tell me I'm fine." 00:05:36.440 --> 00:05:39.150 align:middle line:90% 00:05:39.150 --> 00:05:42.566 align:middle line:90% [APPLAUSE] 00:05:42.566 --> 00:05:51.360 align:middle line:90% 00:05:51.360 --> 00:05:53.510 align:middle line:90% I don't know now.