WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:03.820 align:middle line:90% 00:00:03.820 --> 00:00:07.510 align:middle line:84% So this other poem is just something 00:00:07.510 --> 00:00:12.790 align:middle line:84% that I experienced as a young mom going 00:00:12.790 --> 00:00:14.020 align:middle line:90% through domestic violence. 00:00:14.020 --> 00:00:19.410 align:middle line:84% I was shot when I was pregnant with my first born, 00:00:19.410 --> 00:00:22.440 align:middle line:84% but luckily, we both survived that night. 00:00:22.440 --> 00:00:26.850 align:middle line:84% This was back in March 20th, 2000. 00:00:26.850 --> 00:00:30.000 align:middle line:84% And I'm thankful every day that we're still 00:00:30.000 --> 00:00:33.280 align:middle line:90% able to walk the Earth. 00:00:33.280 --> 00:00:35.445 align:middle line:84% Every year when that time would come up, 00:00:35.445 --> 00:00:36.820 align:middle line:84% it kind of was, like, depressing, 00:00:36.820 --> 00:00:38.860 align:middle line:90% or I didn't know what was wrong. 00:00:38.860 --> 00:00:40.300 align:middle line:90% I just kind of felt down. 00:00:40.300 --> 00:00:42.130 align:middle line:84% And sometimes I didn't even realize 00:00:42.130 --> 00:00:43.550 align:middle line:90% that it was that same day. 00:00:43.550 --> 00:00:47.050 align:middle line:84% But the past few years doing a lot of healing, 00:00:47.050 --> 00:00:50.560 align:middle line:84% I feel like, now I look at it as our survival date. 00:00:50.560 --> 00:00:54.320 align:middle line:84% That's the day that we were chosen to still be here. 00:00:54.320 --> 00:00:57.190 align:middle line:84% And if it wasn't for that, I wouldn't have had my other four 00:00:57.190 --> 00:01:00.140 align:middle line:90% children as well. 00:01:00.140 --> 00:01:05.690 align:middle line:84% So this one's called "That Night I Prayed to the Moon." 00:01:05.690 --> 00:01:07.520 align:middle line:84% "I called out to the medicine woman. 00:01:07.520 --> 00:01:11.150 align:middle line:84% Did she hear me across the desert from Salt River to Sells? 00:01:11.150 --> 00:01:13.580 align:middle line:84% I was a young woman from the rez-- a child, 00:01:13.580 --> 00:01:17.420 align:middle line:84% really, 19 years old around the sun carrying 00:01:17.420 --> 00:01:19.640 align:middle line:84% my first born, heart twisted in knots, 00:01:19.640 --> 00:01:23.630 align:middle line:84% stomach turning as the bullet was released, and I was shot. 00:01:23.630 --> 00:01:24.770 align:middle line:90% Where is the blood? 00:01:24.770 --> 00:01:26.540 align:middle line:90% Why can't I feel my arm? 00:01:26.540 --> 00:01:28.550 align:middle line:84% How could someone do me so much harm? 00:01:28.550 --> 00:01:30.800 align:middle line:84% I could only hear my heartbeat while we hauled ass 00:01:30.800 --> 00:01:32.990 align:middle line:84% down the street like a cinematic scene. 00:01:32.990 --> 00:01:35.160 align:middle line:90% This wasn't part of my dreams. 00:01:35.160 --> 00:01:37.880 align:middle line:84% Damn that fucking devil and his schemes. 00:01:37.880 --> 00:01:41.030 align:middle line:84% Came for me on many occasions, bruises and abrasions 00:01:41.030 --> 00:01:44.800 align:middle line:84% chipping away at my soul since I was about five years old. 00:01:44.800 --> 00:01:49.810 align:middle line:84% That's when he first came for me in the form of family. 00:01:49.810 --> 00:01:51.610 align:middle line:84% I was all alone with secrets to tell. 00:01:51.610 --> 00:01:53.890 align:middle line:84% The voices in my head telling me not to yell. 00:01:53.890 --> 00:01:56.020 align:middle line:90% Inside, I wanted to scream. 00:01:56.020 --> 00:01:59.200 align:middle line:84% The rage turned to flames from holding it all in. 00:01:59.200 --> 00:02:01.030 align:middle line:84% For years and years, I held shame. 00:02:01.030 --> 00:02:02.200 align:middle line:90% Was I to blame? 00:02:02.200 --> 00:02:04.240 align:middle line:84% Who sent these people to hurt me? 00:02:04.240 --> 00:02:06.070 align:middle line:90% Was I to blame? 00:02:06.070 --> 00:02:08.039 align:middle line:90% Why was I the target? 00:02:08.039 --> 00:02:11.100 align:middle line:84% Pulling knives out my back seemed to be the norm. 00:02:11.100 --> 00:02:14.910 align:middle line:84% My heart withered and worn, so young with the heart so old. 00:02:14.910 --> 00:02:16.800 align:middle line:84% These battles continue in my head. 00:02:16.800 --> 00:02:18.120 align:middle line:90% Will I live to see the day? 00:02:18.120 --> 00:02:21.570 align:middle line:84% That's my goal, to beat every demon until they bleed, 00:02:21.570 --> 00:02:25.170 align:middle line:84% they'll never feel the need to feed. 00:02:25.170 --> 00:02:27.660 align:middle line:84% I wish I could save you all but unfortunately, 00:02:27.660 --> 00:02:29.040 align:middle line:90% the world is full of devils. 00:02:29.040 --> 00:02:30.210 align:middle line:90% They take as they please. 00:02:30.210 --> 00:02:32.910 align:middle line:90% To them, we are disposable. 00:02:32.910 --> 00:02:35.850 align:middle line:84% Murdered and missing women in all four directions. 00:02:35.850 --> 00:02:39.350 align:middle line:84% When will that damn devil learn his lesson? 00:02:39.350 --> 00:02:40.610 align:middle line:90% Our fire grows. 00:02:40.610 --> 00:02:41.750 align:middle line:90% The prayers rise. 00:02:41.750 --> 00:02:44.450 align:middle line:84% Madness in my eyes as I unveil the skies. 00:02:44.450 --> 00:02:45.290 align:middle line:90% I see beauty. 00:02:45.290 --> 00:02:46.160 align:middle line:90% I see peace. 00:02:46.160 --> 00:02:48.200 align:middle line:84% Time to forgive and time to release, 00:02:48.200 --> 00:02:50.450 align:middle line:90% but that's the hard part. 00:02:50.450 --> 00:02:53.540 align:middle line:84% Got used to walking around with a broken heart. 00:02:53.540 --> 00:02:55.640 align:middle line:84% I stand for all the spirits who cry, 00:02:55.640 --> 00:02:57.170 align:middle line:90% the ones who were never found. 00:02:57.170 --> 00:02:59.720 align:middle line:84% Chaos in my eye, and I can't lie. 00:02:59.720 --> 00:03:02.660 align:middle line:84% Nightmares become reality more often than not. 00:03:02.660 --> 00:03:06.340 align:middle line:84% Telling my truth through poetry, thought I would give it a shot. 00:03:06.340 --> 00:03:09.130 align:middle line:84% My voice cracks as they mock the woman I am, 00:03:09.130 --> 00:03:11.350 align:middle line:84% who I became only because they'll never 00:03:11.350 --> 00:03:13.630 align:middle line:90% be able to water down my flame. 00:03:13.630 --> 00:03:16.330 align:middle line:84% I give you a second to close your eyes and dream. 00:03:16.330 --> 00:03:18.810 align:middle line:90% What will be your reality?" 00:03:18.810 --> 00:03:21.000 align:middle line:90%