WEBVTT

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A Certain Light.

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He had taken the right
pills the night before.

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We had counted them out
from the egg carton,

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where they were numbered.

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So there would be no mistake.

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He had taken the morphine, and
prednisone, and amitriptyline,

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and Florina, and vancomycin,
and halcion too quickly,

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and had thrown up in the
bowl Joe brought to the bed.

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A thin string of blue spits.

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Then waited a few
minutes to calm himself

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before he took them all again.

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And had slept through the
night, and the morning,

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and was still sleeping
at noon, or not sleeping.

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He was breathing
maybe twice a minute.

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And we couldn't wake him.

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We couldn't wake him
until we shook him hard

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calling John, wake up now.

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John, wake up.

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Who's the president?

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And he couldn't answer.

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His doctor told us we'd have
to keep him up for hours.

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He was all bones and skin.

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No tissue to absorb
the medicine.

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He couldn't walk unless
two people held him.

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And we made him talk
about the movies.

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What was the best moment
in On the Waterfront?

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What was the music in
Gone With the Wind?

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And for seven hours, he
answered, if only to please us,

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mumbling, I like the
morphine, sinking,

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rising, sleeping, rousing.

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Then only in pain
again, but weakened.

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So weakened.

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That late that night, in one
of those still blue moments

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that were a paradise, he
finally opened his eyes wide.

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And the room filled
with a certain light we

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thought we'd never see again.

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Look at you two, he said.

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And we did.

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And Joe said look at you.

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And John said, how do I look?

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And Joe said, handsome.

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