WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:01.597 align:middle line:90% Oh. 00:00:01.597 --> 00:00:03.930 align:middle line:84% So I'm going to switch over now to creative non-fiction. 00:00:03.930 --> 00:00:11.250 align:middle line:84% But as I said, I was born in Tijuana, 00:00:11.250 --> 00:00:13.140 align:middle line:90% and we were pretty poor. 00:00:13.140 --> 00:00:15.810 align:middle line:90% We were like many people. 00:00:15.810 --> 00:00:18.743 align:middle line:84% We were a dirt street, outhouse family, 00:00:18.743 --> 00:00:20.160 align:middle line:84% which was a little rough on my mom 00:00:20.160 --> 00:00:22.440 align:middle line:84% because she was a socialite from Manhattan, 00:00:22.440 --> 00:00:23.652 align:middle line:90% and I won't go into it-- 00:00:23.652 --> 00:00:24.360 align:middle line:90% it's in the book. 00:00:24.360 --> 00:00:28.920 align:middle line:84% But she married my dad in San Francisco thinking, I guess, 00:00:28.920 --> 00:00:33.570 align:middle line:84% that she was going to be on Zorro's hacienda or something. 00:00:33.570 --> 00:00:41.190 align:middle line:84% And there're going to be charros riding around singing. 00:00:41.190 --> 00:00:44.940 align:middle line:84% And he maneuvered her down there to Tijuana 00:00:44.940 --> 00:00:48.900 align:middle line:84% and she woke up to her horror in my grandma's house in Tijuana. 00:00:48.900 --> 00:00:52.860 align:middle line:84% And in those days in the '50s, I used to kid about it 00:00:52.860 --> 00:00:54.742 align:middle line:84% but it, was kind of like buying a Cadillac. 00:00:54.742 --> 00:00:56.700 align:middle line:84% My dad came home with the big gringa, you know. 00:00:56.700 --> 00:00:58.470 align:middle line:90% Check it out, Americana. 00:00:58.470 --> 00:01:01.740 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHTER] 00:01:01.740 --> 00:01:04.739 align:middle line:84% But it was pretty rough on my mom. 00:01:04.739 --> 00:01:13.240 align:middle line:84% And anyway, it was a time of a lot of disease, and trouble, 00:01:13.240 --> 00:01:14.810 align:middle line:90% and I was really sick. 00:01:14.810 --> 00:01:17.650 align:middle line:84% I had all kinds of diseases, including tuberculosis. 00:01:17.650 --> 00:01:22.960 align:middle line:84% And when we made the great leap from Tijuana to the ghetto, 00:01:22.960 --> 00:01:26.830 align:middle line:84% our big move up, nobody could-- nobody 00:01:26.830 --> 00:01:29.082 align:middle line:84% would babysit me because they were afraid 00:01:29.082 --> 00:01:31.540 align:middle line:84% that I would make their families ill with the tuberculosis. 00:01:31.540 --> 00:01:34.840 align:middle line:84% And my father at the time was working in the tuna cannery. 00:01:34.840 --> 00:01:37.180 align:middle line:84% My mom was working in a department store 00:01:37.180 --> 00:01:39.520 align:middle line:84% and they were frantic to find somebody 00:01:39.520 --> 00:01:41.650 align:middle line:90% to babysit me during the day. 00:01:41.650 --> 00:01:45.520 align:middle line:84% And it so happens that there was this wonderful man from La Paz 00:01:45.520 --> 00:01:49.750 align:middle line:84% and his wife, Abelino García and his wife Mamá Chayo. 00:01:49.750 --> 00:01:53.920 align:middle line:84% Abelino was a mestizo, half native person, 00:01:53.920 --> 00:01:56.620 align:middle line:90% half mixed blood. 00:01:56.620 --> 00:02:00.490 align:middle line:84% And Mamá Chayo was a pure blood indigenous woman. 00:02:00.490 --> 00:02:02.770 align:middle line:90% And they were healers. 00:02:02.770 --> 00:02:06.490 align:middle line:84% They were herbalists and curanderos and so forth. 00:02:06.490 --> 00:02:08.379 align:middle line:84% I didn't-- we didn't know anything about it 00:02:08.379 --> 00:02:10.479 align:middle line:84% and of course, and I was just a baby. 00:02:10.479 --> 00:02:12.880 align:middle line:84% And Abelino worked at the cannery with my dad. 00:02:12.880 --> 00:02:16.090 align:middle line:84% And my dad started telling him the story about poor Luisito, 00:02:16.090 --> 00:02:16.750 align:middle line:90% who's so sick. 00:02:16.750 --> 00:02:19.060 align:middle line:90% So Abelino said we'll take him. 00:02:19.060 --> 00:02:21.730 align:middle line:90% And unbeknownst to my dad I-- 00:02:21.730 --> 00:02:25.610 align:middle line:84% they started ministering to me with teas and who knows what. 00:02:25.610 --> 00:02:28.870 align:middle line:90% And they cleaned me up. 00:02:28.870 --> 00:02:31.210 align:middle line:84% And as our sort of ghetto life descended 00:02:31.210 --> 00:02:34.090 align:middle line:84% into horror, and unhappiness, and stuff, 00:02:34.090 --> 00:02:36.820 align:middle line:84% I always had this family to go to. 00:02:36.820 --> 00:02:40.540 align:middle line:84% So I tried to write about this for years, and years, 00:02:40.540 --> 00:02:42.580 align:middle line:84% and I could not write about this family. 00:02:42.580 --> 00:02:46.060 align:middle line:84% And if any of you have read any of my other stuff 00:02:46.060 --> 00:02:48.910 align:middle line:84% in my first book of poems, I wrote a couple of poems 00:02:48.910 --> 00:02:49.630 align:middle line:90% about them. 00:02:49.630 --> 00:02:52.120 align:middle line:84% And then in my novel In Search Of Snow, 00:02:52.120 --> 00:02:56.270 align:middle line:84% I hid them by basing the last third of the novel on them. 00:02:56.270 --> 00:02:58.510 align:middle line:84% And it took me about 20 years of trying 00:02:58.510 --> 00:03:00.820 align:middle line:84% to finally write something nonfiction about them. 00:03:00.820 --> 00:03:03.670 align:middle line:84% To try to tell their truth without betraying it. 00:03:03.670 --> 00:03:06.310 align:middle line:84% So this is the piece and it just-- for whatever reason, 00:03:06.310 --> 00:03:08.590 align:middle line:84% it's turned out to be people's emotional favorite 00:03:08.590 --> 00:03:09.670 align:middle line:90% from the book. 00:03:09.670 --> 00:03:10.930 align:middle line:90% And I like to read it. 00:03:10.930 --> 00:03:13.850 align:middle line:84% So I thought I'd read it for you. 00:03:13.850 --> 00:03:15.640 align:middle line:84% It's called Sanctuary, which is truly 00:03:15.640 --> 00:03:17.080 align:middle line:90% what their home was for me. 00:03:17.080 --> 00:03:20.233 align:middle line:90% 00:03:20.233 --> 00:03:21.206 align:middle line:90% Take a sip. 00:03:21.206 --> 00:03:24.450 align:middle line:90% 00:03:24.450 --> 00:03:26.100 align:middle line:84% And I will skip around a little bit 00:03:26.100 --> 00:03:28.530 align:middle line:84% just because it's too long to read it all. 00:03:28.530 --> 00:03:30.975 align:middle line:84% But I'll try not to cheat you of anything juicy. 00:03:30.975 --> 00:03:34.000 align:middle line:90% 00:03:34.000 --> 00:03:37.110 align:middle line:90% "Mamá Chayo saved my life. 00:03:37.110 --> 00:03:40.050 align:middle line:84% She allowed her husband, the mighty Abelino 00:03:40.050 --> 00:03:42.180 align:middle line:90% to believe he had saved me. 00:03:42.180 --> 00:03:44.430 align:middle line:84% But that is the way powerful Mexican women 00:03:44.430 --> 00:03:45.540 align:middle line:90% work their medicine. 00:03:45.540 --> 00:03:48.180 align:middle line:84% They let their men play act, and strut, 00:03:48.180 --> 00:03:49.860 align:middle line:90% and believe they run the world. 00:03:49.860 --> 00:03:53.890 align:middle line:84% Healing though, that has a woman's face. 00:03:53.890 --> 00:03:56.100 align:middle line:84% I had come out of Tijuana ragged, 00:03:56.100 --> 00:03:57.960 align:middle line:84% and skinny, and fighting for life. 00:03:57.960 --> 00:03:59.310 align:middle line:90% I was three years old. 00:03:59.310 --> 00:04:02.920 align:middle line:84% I had already survived German measles, intestinal infections, 00:04:02.920 --> 00:04:06.450 align:middle line:84% chronic bronchial infections, scarlatina. 00:04:06.450 --> 00:04:08.670 align:middle line:84% By the time we crossed the line into the United 00:04:08.670 --> 00:04:13.530 align:middle line:84% States I had a skin ailment and I had tuberculosis. 00:04:13.530 --> 00:04:16.620 align:middle line:84% Our good neighbors in that poor barrio wanted to help, 00:04:16.620 --> 00:04:19.769 align:middle line:84% but I, tucked into the corners of couches, 00:04:19.769 --> 00:04:22.740 align:middle line:84% coughed like a tiny Doc Holliday. 00:04:22.740 --> 00:04:25.080 align:middle line:84% They had children too and they became convinced 00:04:25.080 --> 00:04:27.720 align:middle line:84% I would infect them all, and they reluctantly 00:04:27.720 --> 00:04:30.590 align:middle line:90% banned me from their homes. 00:04:30.590 --> 00:04:32.650 align:middle line:90% My parents both had to work. 00:04:32.650 --> 00:04:35.770 align:middle line:84% They were desperate for some place to park me. 00:04:35.770 --> 00:04:37.690 align:middle line:84% The situation was hopeless, which 00:04:37.690 --> 00:04:43.090 align:middle line:84% of course, is when miracles are supposed to happen. 00:04:43.090 --> 00:04:45.900 align:middle line:84% My father was working one of the many tiresome 00:04:45.900 --> 00:04:49.620 align:middle line:84% and depressing menial jobs that would occupy his attention 00:04:49.620 --> 00:04:51.810 align:middle line:84% for the rest of his American life, 00:04:51.810 --> 00:04:56.700 align:middle line:84% bread truck driver, busboy, bowling alley attendant. 00:04:56.700 --> 00:05:01.410 align:middle line:84% In 1958, he had a job canning tuna at the big cannery 00:05:01.410 --> 00:05:03.360 align:middle line:90% on the edge of San Diego Harbor. 00:05:03.360 --> 00:05:05.280 align:middle line:90% My aunts got him the job. 00:05:05.280 --> 00:05:08.550 align:middle line:84% He stood in his spot on the line from 7:00 in the morning 00:05:08.550 --> 00:05:09.990 align:middle line:90% till six at night. 00:05:09.990 --> 00:05:12.540 align:middle line:84% Sometimes he'd move off the conveyor belts 00:05:12.540 --> 00:05:16.830 align:middle line:84% and gut fish with steel blades on long pole handles. 00:05:16.830 --> 00:05:22.160 align:middle line:84% Tuna the size of sheep swung toward him on hooks. 00:05:22.160 --> 00:05:26.720 align:middle line:84% He zipped them open, pale blood dripped off his rubber apron, 00:05:26.720 --> 00:05:29.480 align:middle line:84% and soaked into his cuffs, and his socks. 00:05:29.480 --> 00:05:32.660 align:middle line:84% My father used to come home at night smelling of fish. 00:05:32.660 --> 00:05:35.180 align:middle line:84% All through my childhood cannery workers 00:05:35.180 --> 00:05:37.940 align:middle line:84% who radiated fish stink seem to lurk 00:05:37.940 --> 00:05:43.660 align:middle line:84% in every third corner with their white nurse shoes stained pink. 00:05:43.660 --> 00:05:46.660 align:middle line:84% Abelino worked in the spot beside my father. 00:05:46.660 --> 00:05:48.850 align:middle line:84% Perhaps it was the smell that broke down 00:05:48.850 --> 00:05:50.260 align:middle line:90% the barrier between them. 00:05:50.260 --> 00:05:53.590 align:middle line:84% Perhaps it was the wearying racket of the machinery. 00:05:53.590 --> 00:05:55.540 align:middle line:84% Maybe it was just the numbing boredom 00:05:55.540 --> 00:06:00.370 align:middle line:84% of belts delivering an unending flow of shredded flesh to them. 00:06:00.370 --> 00:06:03.550 align:middle line:84% But my father, overcoming his natural sense 00:06:03.550 --> 00:06:07.690 align:middle line:84% that Urreas were somehow superior to other Mexicans, 00:06:07.690 --> 00:06:11.620 align:middle line:84% especially rustic Mexicans, began a friendship 00:06:11.620 --> 00:06:13.150 align:middle line:90% with Abelino. 00:06:13.150 --> 00:06:16.480 align:middle line:84% I believe it was Abelino's iron heart bearing that 00:06:16.480 --> 00:06:18.400 align:middle line:90% won my father's respect. 00:06:18.400 --> 00:06:21.370 align:middle line:84% His face looked like it was carved from oak. 00:06:21.370 --> 00:06:24.160 align:middle line:84% To look at him you'd think his bones were older 00:06:24.160 --> 00:06:28.000 align:middle line:84% than time, old enough to be rusty within him. 00:06:28.000 --> 00:06:31.940 align:middle line:84% He had hands like great paddles, and when he spoke, 00:06:31.940 --> 00:06:34.450 align:middle line:84% you were hearing 19th century Mexico. 00:06:34.450 --> 00:06:39.770 align:middle line:90% 00:06:39.770 --> 00:06:42.783 align:middle line:84% This is how--" my dad asked him like I said. 00:06:42.783 --> 00:06:43.700 align:middle line:90% That's what I skipped. 00:06:43.700 --> 00:06:44.930 align:middle line:90% And he says yes. 00:06:44.930 --> 00:06:48.680 align:middle line:84% "This is how the rescue operation worked. 00:06:48.680 --> 00:06:50.660 align:middle line:84% Father would bundle me up at dawn 00:06:50.660 --> 00:06:53.660 align:middle line:84% while my mother was still slowly rising. 00:06:53.660 --> 00:06:56.720 align:middle line:84% He'd carry me out to his beloved 49 Ford, 00:06:56.720 --> 00:06:58.700 align:middle line:84% and he'd sit behind the wheel, and tuck me 00:06:58.700 --> 00:07:01.430 align:middle line:84% in behind the great barrel of his upper body. 00:07:01.430 --> 00:07:05.060 align:middle line:84% There, upright and wrapped tight in my magic blanket, 00:07:05.060 --> 00:07:07.790 align:middle line:84% I'd cough into his ribs as he drove. 00:07:07.790 --> 00:07:11.480 align:middle line:84% Later I'd learn to stand there wedged in against him. 00:07:11.480 --> 00:07:14.210 align:middle line:84% Once as we drove to my Mamá Chayo's house 00:07:14.210 --> 00:07:17.870 align:middle line:84% we saw a waterspout unfurling up out of the South Bay, 00:07:17.870 --> 00:07:22.460 align:middle line:84% as terrifying and crooked as the twister in The Wizard of Oz. 00:07:22.460 --> 00:07:26.270 align:middle line:84% It was in black and white unlike the technicolor garden 00:07:26.270 --> 00:07:28.760 align:middle line:90% that surrounded their house. 00:07:28.760 --> 00:07:32.180 align:middle line:84% Abelino would be waiting on the steps of their porch surrounded 00:07:32.180 --> 00:07:33.560 align:middle line:90% by geraniums. 00:07:33.560 --> 00:07:35.900 align:middle line:90% Mamá had bred her own strains. 00:07:35.900 --> 00:07:39.860 align:middle line:84% One of them had navy blue flowers with sky blue edges. 00:07:39.860 --> 00:07:42.230 align:middle line:84% And when we'd pull up, the women would 00:07:42.230 --> 00:07:46.580 align:middle line:84% rush and flow down the steps and steal me from dad's arms. 00:07:46.580 --> 00:07:48.710 align:middle line:84% He and Abelino would drive off together 00:07:48.710 --> 00:07:52.730 align:middle line:84% and I would be carried into the holy shadows of 420 West 20th 00:07:52.730 --> 00:07:53.390 align:middle line:90% Street. 00:07:53.390 --> 00:07:55.400 align:middle line:84% There I'd stay until nightfall when 00:07:55.400 --> 00:08:01.110 align:middle line:84% my father would trade Abelino in for me and we'd go back home. 00:08:01.110 --> 00:08:03.840 align:middle line:84% It became obvious I wanted to be there more than I cared 00:08:03.840 --> 00:08:06.180 align:middle line:84% to be at home, so the daily routine 00:08:06.180 --> 00:08:08.490 align:middle line:90% expanded into weekend visits. 00:08:08.490 --> 00:08:11.880 align:middle line:84% I'd live with Mamá Chayo and her family from Friday til Sunday 00:08:11.880 --> 00:08:12.540 align:middle line:90% night. 00:08:12.540 --> 00:08:16.080 align:middle line:84% And after a couple of years, preschool, and kindergarten 00:08:16.080 --> 00:08:19.590 align:middle line:84% consumed my days, and I always hated school 00:08:19.590 --> 00:08:23.460 align:middle line:90% because it stole time from them. 00:08:23.460 --> 00:08:27.740 align:middle line:84% How do you tell a story that cannot be told? 00:08:27.740 --> 00:08:30.860 align:middle line:84% I tried to explain the simple story of Mamá Chayo's house 00:08:30.860 --> 00:08:33.150 align:middle line:90% for 20 years. 00:08:33.150 --> 00:08:36.740 align:middle line:84% Things still seem full of wonder in that house. 00:08:36.740 --> 00:08:38.929 align:middle line:84% Perhaps it was because I was still so young, 00:08:38.929 --> 00:08:41.090 align:middle line:84% though Mamá Chayo was already old, 00:08:41.090 --> 00:08:44.090 align:middle line:84% and her capacity for wonder was not diminished. 00:08:44.090 --> 00:08:45.770 align:middle line:90% Maybe it was the time. 00:08:45.770 --> 00:08:50.630 align:middle line:84% Maybe the millennium is too late a date for small miracles. 00:08:50.630 --> 00:08:53.930 align:middle line:84% But I can still remember when mundane things had 00:08:53.930 --> 00:08:55.970 align:middle line:84% a glow about them as if they were 00:08:55.970 --> 00:08:58.310 align:middle line:84% part of some process of revelation. 00:08:58.310 --> 00:09:02.190 align:middle line:84% Like the day I first ate sliced bread. 00:09:02.190 --> 00:09:06.930 align:middle line:84% I can't believe that I, tapping away at a laptop computer 00:09:06.930 --> 00:09:10.290 align:middle line:84% while a CD changer cycles through Chemical Brothers 00:09:10.290 --> 00:09:14.220 align:middle line:84% remixed disks, I can remember the first slices 00:09:14.220 --> 00:09:17.420 align:middle line:90% of Wonder Bread I ever saw. 00:09:17.420 --> 00:09:20.370 align:middle line:84% Mamá Chayo committed this particular miracle, 00:09:20.370 --> 00:09:23.940 align:middle line:84% emerging from the pantry with this soft white stuff covered 00:09:23.940 --> 00:09:27.584 align:middle line:84% with grape jelly and peanut butter, La peanut butter. 00:09:27.584 --> 00:09:30.190 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHTER] 00:09:30.190 --> 00:09:33.650 align:middle line:84% After a lifetime of tortillas I was flabbergasted. 00:09:33.650 --> 00:09:35.890 align:middle line:84% They didn't call it Wonder Bread for nothing. 00:09:35.890 --> 00:09:39.215 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHTER] 00:09:39.215 --> 00:09:43.970 align:middle line:90% 00:09:43.970 --> 00:09:48.300 align:middle line:84% And I say the secret there was love. 00:09:48.300 --> 00:09:50.370 align:middle line:84% By love I don't mean drippy sentiment. 00:09:50.370 --> 00:09:54.300 align:middle line:84% Nobody at West 20th made goo goo eyes at anyone else. 00:09:54.300 --> 00:09:57.270 align:middle line:84% Love in that house was a bedrock fact, 00:09:57.270 --> 00:10:01.080 align:middle line:84% not discussed nor fretted over, never analyzed, and barely 00:10:01.080 --> 00:10:01.920 align:middle line:90% recognized. 00:10:01.920 --> 00:10:04.260 align:middle line:90% Love simply was. 00:10:04.260 --> 00:10:06.390 align:middle line:84% There is a way in which a family rises 00:10:06.390 --> 00:10:09.060 align:middle line:90% in the morning that says love. 00:10:09.060 --> 00:10:11.550 align:middle line:84% There's a way in which a family shares 00:10:11.550 --> 00:10:14.510 align:middle line:90% one bathroom that says love. 00:10:14.510 --> 00:10:17.120 align:middle line:84% There's even a way in which a cup of coffee at 3 o'clock 00:10:17.120 --> 00:10:20.030 align:middle line:90% on a rainy day says love. 00:10:20.030 --> 00:10:22.160 align:middle line:90% Sure they got cranky. 00:10:22.160 --> 00:10:23.160 align:middle line:90% They got fed up. 00:10:23.160 --> 00:10:24.320 align:middle line:90% They hollered at me. 00:10:24.320 --> 00:10:26.570 align:middle line:90% I was, after all, a boy. 00:10:26.570 --> 00:10:28.940 align:middle line:84% And as a boy I was fully endowed with all 00:10:28.940 --> 00:10:32.720 align:middle line:90% pertaining idiocies and manias. 00:10:32.720 --> 00:10:37.100 align:middle line:84% Abelino cursed at me in florid and operatic recitatives, 00:10:37.100 --> 00:10:40.700 align:middle line:90% but without fail they loved. 00:10:40.700 --> 00:10:43.190 align:middle line:84% Mamá Chayo and Abelino had been married forever 00:10:43.190 --> 00:10:45.620 align:middle line:84% and they still loved each other enough 00:10:45.620 --> 00:10:47.720 align:middle line:84% that they could love everybody else. 00:10:47.720 --> 00:10:51.470 align:middle line:84% True love seems to be a spiritual loaves and fishes, 00:10:51.470 --> 00:10:54.800 align:middle line:84% it doesn't get used up but keeps regenerating 00:10:54.800 --> 00:10:57.710 align:middle line:90% itself to feed all comers. 00:10:57.710 --> 00:11:00.830 align:middle line:84% Maybe that is what religious books mean when they bandy 00:11:00.830 --> 00:11:03.440 align:middle line:84% about such terms as living water, 00:11:03.440 --> 00:11:07.400 align:middle line:84% I think it fills up your heart, then it starts to overflow, 00:11:07.400 --> 00:11:10.640 align:middle line:90% and water everyone else's. 00:11:10.640 --> 00:11:12.230 align:middle line:84% Sharing their home with them where 00:11:12.230 --> 00:11:17.450 align:middle line:84% their twins, Quela and Fina, my first sweethearts, my older 00:11:17.450 --> 00:11:19.940 align:middle line:90% women. 00:11:19.940 --> 00:11:23.780 align:middle line:84% Quela, the sorrowful one, went out every day to clean houses. 00:11:23.780 --> 00:11:26.690 align:middle line:84% Fina, the sunny one, stayed home every day 00:11:26.690 --> 00:11:28.340 align:middle line:90% to clean the one house. 00:11:28.340 --> 00:11:31.460 align:middle line:84% I pursued Fina relentlessly, fascinated 00:11:31.460 --> 00:11:33.170 align:middle line:90% by the world of women. 00:11:33.170 --> 00:11:35.180 align:middle line:84% Occasionally, a ranchera song came 00:11:35.180 --> 00:11:38.840 align:middle line:84% on the radio that was so rabid in its accordions 00:11:38.840 --> 00:11:42.950 align:middle line:84% that Fina threw her broom away and we danced like maniacs all 00:11:42.950 --> 00:11:45.800 align:middle line:84% over the living room while Mamá Chayo cackled. 00:11:45.800 --> 00:11:49.830 align:middle line:84% We were especially fond of the shark song "Tiburón, Tiburón." 00:11:49.830 --> 00:11:52.370 align:middle line:90% "Tiburón a la vista." 00:11:52.370 --> 00:11:54.680 align:middle line:84% That would get us booty shaking in a fashion 00:11:54.680 --> 00:11:58.220 align:middle line:84% that Abelino would have never approved except he 00:11:58.220 --> 00:12:01.800 align:middle line:90% was outside killing termites. 00:12:01.800 --> 00:12:05.580 align:middle line:84% And Quela, so mysterious when she returned home 00:12:05.580 --> 00:12:07.440 align:middle line:90% from those stranger's houses. 00:12:07.440 --> 00:12:10.410 align:middle line:84% So tired and beautiful in her sleepiness, 00:12:10.410 --> 00:12:14.317 align:middle line:84% wearing the strange magic of el lipisticky. 00:12:14.317 --> 00:12:17.240 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHTER] 00:12:17.240 --> 00:12:19.910 align:middle line:84% I'd watch her etch in the lines around her eyes 00:12:19.910 --> 00:12:23.950 align:middle line:84% and I'd watch her hit herself in the face with her powder puff. 00:12:23.950 --> 00:12:28.560 align:middle line:84% She even let me watch her snap her girdle once. 00:12:28.560 --> 00:12:29.550 align:middle line:90% I thought I'd faint. 00:12:29.550 --> 00:12:33.320 align:middle line:90% 00:12:33.320 --> 00:12:35.450 align:middle line:84% On Saturdays, her day off, Quela would 00:12:35.450 --> 00:12:38.570 align:middle line:84% sit at the work table in the kitchen and sort the beans. 00:12:38.570 --> 00:12:41.930 align:middle line:84% This sounds far less enchanting than it was. 00:12:41.930 --> 00:12:45.650 align:middle line:84% Her graceful hands with their slightly long nails 00:12:45.650 --> 00:12:48.960 align:middle line:84% moved like a dance over the surface of the table. 00:12:48.960 --> 00:12:52.550 align:middle line:84% The pinto beans, hard and clacking like dominoes, 00:12:52.550 --> 00:12:55.400 align:middle line:84% swirled and skipped beneath her fingers. 00:12:55.400 --> 00:12:58.070 align:middle line:84% Without looking, Quela could spread and scatter 00:12:58.070 --> 00:13:01.790 align:middle line:84% hundreds of beans, all the while flicking out broken ones, 00:13:01.790 --> 00:13:05.930 align:middle line:84% sliding aside twigs, getting out pebbles, and at the same time 00:13:05.930 --> 00:13:08.180 align:middle line:84% as if she'd grown a third hand, she 00:13:08.180 --> 00:13:10.580 align:middle line:84% was swooshing the good beans into a cooking pot 00:13:10.580 --> 00:13:12.740 align:middle line:90% she held in her lap. 00:13:12.740 --> 00:13:15.920 align:middle line:84% Both sisters made flour tortillas every day. 00:13:15.920 --> 00:13:18.410 align:middle line:84% I attended the tortilla making as if it 00:13:18.410 --> 00:13:20.000 align:middle line:90% were a religious ceremony. 00:13:20.000 --> 00:13:22.700 align:middle line:84% It was clearly an ancient ritual. 00:13:22.700 --> 00:13:27.050 align:middle line:84% Every morning from the days of the Aztecs making tláxcaltin, 00:13:27.050 --> 00:13:30.380 align:middle line:90% Mexican women made tortillas. 00:13:30.380 --> 00:13:33.890 align:middle line:84% My father, an avid history buff, pointed this out to me. 00:13:33.890 --> 00:13:38.240 align:middle line:84% Quela or Fina would assemble the materials, flour, water, lard, 00:13:38.240 --> 00:13:42.230 align:middle line:84% rolling pins, the aluminum tub, clean cotton cloth. 00:13:42.230 --> 00:13:44.780 align:middle line:84% They'd mix and knead and then make dough balls. 00:13:44.780 --> 00:13:46.790 align:middle line:84% And the dough balls would be sprinkled 00:13:46.790 --> 00:13:48.290 align:middle line:90% with the dust of white flour. 00:13:48.290 --> 00:13:50.000 align:middle line:84% And then the rolling pin would hit 00:13:50.000 --> 00:13:52.790 align:middle line:84% the dough going two ways in the shape of a cross. 00:13:52.790 --> 00:13:56.330 align:middle line:84% And somehow that ball with two hard passes 00:13:56.330 --> 00:14:01.820 align:middle line:84% would be transformed into a perfect droopy disk. 00:14:01.820 --> 00:14:05.180 align:middle line:84% Whichever one was not creating the tortilla would transfer 00:14:05.180 --> 00:14:08.690 align:middle line:84% this raw dough into a heated flat pan where she'd 00:14:08.690 --> 00:14:12.560 align:middle line:84% use the wadded up cloth to gently pop the blisters that 00:14:12.560 --> 00:14:13.490 align:middle line:90% rose in the dough. 00:14:13.490 --> 00:14:18.140 align:middle line:90% 00:14:18.140 --> 00:14:21.770 align:middle line:90% Nina was usually asleep. 00:14:21.770 --> 00:14:26.150 align:middle line:84% She was the fabulous old one who commanded the sewing room 00:14:26.150 --> 00:14:27.680 align:middle line:90% at the side of the house. 00:14:27.680 --> 00:14:30.950 align:middle line:84% It was on her old iron bed from the turn of the century, 00:14:30.950 --> 00:14:34.760 align:middle line:84% tucked in behind her sewing machine, that I slept. 00:14:34.760 --> 00:14:38.990 align:middle line:84% She had been taken in by Abelino many years before I was born 00:14:38.990 --> 00:14:42.800 align:middle line:84% and she was the twins' godmother, their comadre. 00:14:42.800 --> 00:14:45.620 align:middle line:84% And in turn they became my godparents, 00:14:45.620 --> 00:14:49.850 align:middle line:84% officiating at my baptism, becoming my parents compadres. 00:14:49.850 --> 00:14:54.590 align:middle line:84% We were all by this marvelous ritual made family. 00:14:54.590 --> 00:14:56.930 align:middle line:90% Nina was ancient. 00:14:56.930 --> 00:15:01.970 align:middle line:84% I'd sit at her feet toying with her huge blocky black old lady 00:15:01.970 --> 00:15:03.620 align:middle line:90% shoes. 00:15:03.620 --> 00:15:06.740 align:middle line:84% And she slowly wearied of sewing or crocheting, 00:15:06.740 --> 00:15:10.280 align:middle line:84% and her hands would dip slowly, and she'd nod, 00:15:10.280 --> 00:15:12.410 align:middle line:90% and her eyes would slowly close. 00:15:12.410 --> 00:15:14.660 align:middle line:84% And the white whiskers on her chin 00:15:14.660 --> 00:15:17.840 align:middle line:84% would start to tremble as she snored. 00:15:17.840 --> 00:15:20.330 align:middle line:84% Nowadays, I suppose she would be recognized 00:15:20.330 --> 00:15:24.470 align:middle line:84% as the crone, the storehouse of female wisdom. 00:15:24.470 --> 00:15:27.650 align:middle line:84% To me she was the source of mystery, and in that home 00:15:27.650 --> 00:15:28.880 align:middle line:90% mystery was a comfort. 00:15:28.880 --> 00:15:31.470 align:middle line:90% 00:15:31.470 --> 00:15:33.810 align:middle line:84% Her hair was a nimbus of white cotton, 00:15:33.810 --> 00:15:38.040 align:middle line:84% and her cane, which seemed like a forbidden thing of power, 00:15:38.040 --> 00:15:39.900 align:middle line:90% was an object of awe. 00:15:39.900 --> 00:15:41.700 align:middle line:90% It was dark wood. 00:15:41.700 --> 00:15:43.950 align:middle line:84% It was her magic wand and her weapon. 00:15:43.950 --> 00:15:46.980 align:middle line:84% She once battered a purse snatcher over the head with it 00:15:46.980 --> 00:15:48.360 align:middle line:90% when she could still get around. 00:15:48.360 --> 00:15:52.860 align:middle line:90% 00:15:52.860 --> 00:15:55.890 align:middle line:84% English troubled no one at West 20th Street. 00:15:55.890 --> 00:16:00.090 align:middle line:84% Mamá Chayo engaged in long warm phone conversations 00:16:00.090 --> 00:16:02.490 align:middle line:84% with my mother that consisted largely 00:16:02.490 --> 00:16:05.460 align:middle line:84% of pidgin English, pidgin Spanish, 00:16:05.460 --> 00:16:10.770 align:middle line:84% some sort of customized Swahili, and a lot of giggles. 00:16:10.770 --> 00:16:14.850 align:middle line:84% Neither Mamá nor Nina could pronounce Phyllis, my mom's 00:16:14.850 --> 00:16:18.660 align:middle line:84% name, so they happily mangled it into various permutations, 00:16:18.660 --> 00:16:27.120 align:middle line:84% Doña Pillips, Señora Feliza, La Prips. 00:16:27.120 --> 00:16:30.990 align:middle line:84% Abelino delighted in learning good English curse words, 00:16:30.990 --> 00:16:33.390 align:middle line:84% otherwise what did he need English for? 00:16:33.390 --> 00:16:35.970 align:middle line:84% God's name in vain in his mouth became 00:16:35.970 --> 00:16:38.370 align:middle line:84% a cry in an alien tongue: Cheezakrytes! 00:16:38.370 --> 00:16:42.450 align:middle line:90% 00:16:42.450 --> 00:16:43.290 align:middle line:90% Oh, Godammah! 00:16:43.290 --> 00:16:46.770 align:middle line:90% 00:16:46.770 --> 00:16:48.600 align:middle line:84% And Quela and Fina who had reason 00:16:48.600 --> 00:16:51.420 align:middle line:84% to deal with the outside world more than their elders 00:16:51.420 --> 00:16:54.180 align:middle line:84% created soundscapes that reasonably 00:16:54.180 --> 00:16:55.530 align:middle line:90% approximated English. 00:16:55.530 --> 00:16:58.530 align:middle line:84% Kinds of songs that echoed messages 00:16:58.530 --> 00:17:00.100 align:middle line:90% that the Americans spoke. 00:17:00.100 --> 00:17:01.590 align:middle line:90% Hi, Fina would say. 00:17:01.590 --> 00:17:03.980 align:middle line:90% Fau-va-ju? 00:17:03.980 --> 00:17:07.609 align:middle line:84% And the American would say, I'm fine, thanks. 00:17:07.609 --> 00:17:13.099 align:middle line:84% And Fina would laugh and nod at everything he said thereafter. 00:17:13.099 --> 00:17:16.579 align:middle line:84% Nina and Mamá Chayo understanding not a lick 00:17:16.579 --> 00:17:19.609 align:middle line:84% of what was said were driven out of their minds 00:17:19.609 --> 00:17:23.329 align:middle line:84% by American soap operas that came on every afternoon. 00:17:23.329 --> 00:17:26.000 align:middle line:84% Their favorite was The Edge Of Night, 00:17:26.000 --> 00:17:28.310 align:middle line:84% though they had no idea what the title meant. 00:17:28.310 --> 00:17:30.560 align:middle line:84% They didn't even bother trying to mispronounce it. 00:17:30.560 --> 00:17:32.690 align:middle line:84% They identified the show by the name 00:17:32.690 --> 00:17:35.768 align:middle line:84% of their favorite character, la Jessie. 00:17:35.768 --> 00:17:39.050 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHTER] 00:17:39.050 --> 00:17:43.100 align:middle line:84% It's time for la Jessie, comadre. 00:17:43.100 --> 00:17:46.220 align:middle line:84% Nina would snort awake saying, Oh, la Jessie. 00:17:46.220 --> 00:17:48.020 align:middle line:84% And she'd struggle out of her chair 00:17:48.020 --> 00:17:51.500 align:middle line:84% and thump out to her personal corner of the living room. 00:17:51.500 --> 00:17:53.840 align:middle line:84% She sat in a rocker beside the table 00:17:53.840 --> 00:17:57.920 align:middle line:84% that held the Catholic saints, photographs of the relatives, 00:17:57.920 --> 00:18:02.680 align:middle line:84% and a gold painted plaster bust of JFK. 00:18:02.680 --> 00:18:06.740 align:middle line:84% Mamá sat on her couch eating oranges. 00:18:06.740 --> 00:18:08.230 align:middle line:84% Well, she never really ate oranges. 00:18:08.230 --> 00:18:10.120 align:middle line:90% She chewed oranges. 00:18:10.120 --> 00:18:12.970 align:middle line:84% And after she chewed all the juice out of the orange slice 00:18:12.970 --> 00:18:15.100 align:middle line:90% she'd spit the pulp into a bowl. 00:18:15.100 --> 00:18:19.390 align:middle line:84% Later you'd find bright orange clots of her chewed pulp 00:18:19.390 --> 00:18:21.670 align:middle line:84% in the chocolate dirt of the mulch pile. 00:18:21.670 --> 00:18:26.980 align:middle line:84% Little molds of her mouth feeding the vegetables. 00:18:26.980 --> 00:18:29.620 align:middle line:84% One day Abelino and I heard a ruckus in the house. 00:18:29.620 --> 00:18:31.000 align:middle line:90% Women who were shouting. 00:18:31.000 --> 00:18:33.610 align:middle line:84% We rushed in to discover Nina and Fina 00:18:33.610 --> 00:18:37.400 align:middle line:84% and Mamá waving their hands and bellowing at the television 00:18:37.400 --> 00:18:37.900 align:middle line:90% set. 00:18:37.900 --> 00:18:40.120 align:middle line:84% They were shouting, Jessie, whatever you do, 00:18:40.120 --> 00:18:42.490 align:middle line:90% don't go in that elevator." 00:18:42.490 --> 00:18:45.857 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHTER] 00:18:45.857 --> 00:18:54.600 align:middle line:90% 00:18:54.600 --> 00:18:56.730 align:middle line:84% I'll talk a little bit about their garden now. 00:18:56.730 --> 00:18:59.340 align:middle line:90% Skip a section but-- 00:18:59.340 --> 00:19:02.970 align:middle line:84% "Their garden was a kind of a miracle if only for this. 00:19:02.970 --> 00:19:05.440 align:middle line:84% Although it occupied one plot of land, 00:19:05.440 --> 00:19:07.800 align:middle line:84% it was two completely different places 00:19:07.800 --> 00:19:10.440 align:middle line:84% depending on which of them led you to it. 00:19:10.440 --> 00:19:15.100 align:middle line:84% For Abelino the garden was a place of endless productivity. 00:19:15.100 --> 00:19:17.730 align:middle line:84% It was where he went to raise the food we ate. 00:19:17.730 --> 00:19:19.980 align:middle line:84% He had filled it with sugar cane and quince 00:19:19.980 --> 00:19:24.930 align:middle line:84% trees, lettuce and chillies, and nopales, and avocado trees. 00:19:24.930 --> 00:19:29.880 align:middle line:84% He grew corn, cabbage, tomatoes, onions, squash, olives, 00:19:29.880 --> 00:19:31.380 align:middle line:90% and grapes. 00:19:31.380 --> 00:19:33.990 align:middle line:84% Mamá Chayo, when she took you by the hand 00:19:33.990 --> 00:19:36.330 align:middle line:84% and led you out the back door took you 00:19:36.330 --> 00:19:38.700 align:middle line:84% into a world of fluttering green. 00:19:38.700 --> 00:19:41.460 align:middle line:84% You were suddenly in the midst of butterflies, 00:19:41.460 --> 00:19:43.800 align:middle line:84% hummingbirds chittered in the vines, 00:19:43.800 --> 00:19:46.110 align:middle line:90% morning doves cooed to you. 00:19:46.110 --> 00:19:49.500 align:middle line:84% She grew carnations, geraniums, roses. 00:19:49.500 --> 00:19:52.980 align:middle line:84% Her fences were covered in honeysuckle. 00:19:52.980 --> 00:19:58.380 align:middle line:84% Abelino harvested peas, Mamá collected sweet pea blossoms. 00:19:58.380 --> 00:20:00.360 align:middle line:84% One day she took me out to show me 00:20:00.360 --> 00:20:02.640 align:middle line:84% how the sweet pea blossom is a dog face 00:20:02.640 --> 00:20:07.320 align:middle line:84% and if you pinch the nose just right its tongue pops out. 00:20:07.320 --> 00:20:09.900 align:middle line:84% The one place where there two gardens converged 00:20:09.900 --> 00:20:11.640 align:middle line:90% was in the herb patches. 00:20:11.640 --> 00:20:14.430 align:middle line:84% Things that looked like spindly weeds to me 00:20:14.430 --> 00:20:17.970 align:middle line:84% suddenly revealed the flavor of licorice in their hands. 00:20:17.970 --> 00:20:20.790 align:middle line:84% Weird little plants growing under the porch 00:20:20.790 --> 00:20:24.270 align:middle line:84% were turned into teas that erased stomach pains, 00:20:24.270 --> 00:20:29.160 align:middle line:84% poultices, horrendous drinks came from these herb patches. 00:20:29.160 --> 00:20:32.550 align:middle line:84% Mamá used them to cure coughs, to cure broken bones, 00:20:32.550 --> 00:20:33.930 align:middle line:90% and varicose veins. 00:20:33.930 --> 00:20:39.630 align:middle line:84% Abelino was a master of forcing appalling lengths of tapeworm 00:20:39.630 --> 00:20:42.110 align:middle line:90% out of people's guts. 00:20:42.110 --> 00:20:46.550 align:middle line:84% He delighted in bringing giant mason jars out of the bathroom 00:20:46.550 --> 00:20:48.770 align:middle line:84% and displaying them to the assembled guests. 00:20:48.770 --> 00:20:50.940 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHTER] 00:20:50.940 --> 00:20:54.630 align:middle line:84% Inside the jars, writhing, were tapeworms 00:20:54.630 --> 00:20:57.150 align:middle line:84% and Abelino would shout, Godammah. 00:20:57.150 --> 00:21:00.573 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHTER] 00:21:00.573 --> 00:21:04.980 align:middle line:90% 00:21:04.980 --> 00:21:07.770 align:middle line:84% Though Mamá was capable of wonders with her tea 00:21:07.770 --> 00:21:11.690 align:middle line:84% she was not in any way cosmic about it. 00:21:11.690 --> 00:21:14.210 align:middle line:84% Her healing was something she could do 00:21:14.210 --> 00:21:16.970 align:middle line:84% and sometimes she didn't even need herbs. 00:21:16.970 --> 00:21:19.100 align:middle line:90% She could be alarmingly direct. 00:21:19.100 --> 00:21:22.010 align:middle line:84% To cure an earache for example, she'd 00:21:22.010 --> 00:21:26.100 align:middle line:84% pour a cup full of pee in your ear. 00:21:26.100 --> 00:21:29.160 align:middle line:84% The rhythms of the garden defined our days. 00:21:29.160 --> 00:21:31.170 align:middle line:84% The trees, and the birds, and the herbs 00:21:31.170 --> 00:21:34.590 align:middle line:84% were ready to go by the time the sun was up and so were we. 00:21:34.590 --> 00:21:37.350 align:middle line:84% Abelino was the first out of bed. 00:21:37.350 --> 00:21:41.790 align:middle line:84% The sound of his side of their bed squeaking, his wide yawn, 00:21:41.790 --> 00:21:44.070 align:middle line:84% the snap of his suspenders in the dark 00:21:44.070 --> 00:21:47.400 align:middle line:84% served as a subtle alarm clock for the rest of us. 00:21:47.400 --> 00:21:49.500 align:middle line:90% It was before 5 o'clock. 00:21:49.500 --> 00:21:52.320 align:middle line:84% We'd luxuriate in our beds for a few minutes 00:21:52.320 --> 00:21:56.130 align:middle line:84% as he slapped through the house in his wasted leather slippers. 00:21:56.130 --> 00:21:59.400 align:middle line:84% He navigated by memory making his way up the hall, 00:21:59.400 --> 00:22:02.980 align:middle line:84% around the dining room table into the kitchen. 00:22:02.980 --> 00:22:05.490 align:middle line:84% There, the first light of the day 00:22:05.490 --> 00:22:10.860 align:middle line:84% would snap on its gray glow, accusing us of being layabouts. 00:22:10.860 --> 00:22:13.080 align:middle line:90% He wasn't thinking about us. 00:22:13.080 --> 00:22:15.750 align:middle line:84% He was thinking about his morning constitutional, 00:22:15.750 --> 00:22:17.760 align:middle line:90% his breakfast drink. 00:22:17.760 --> 00:22:21.570 align:middle line:84% He pulled down a large tumbler and cracked two raw eggs 00:22:21.570 --> 00:22:22.260 align:middle line:90% into it. 00:22:22.260 --> 00:22:25.230 align:middle line:84% Then he topped off the glass with about 8 ounces 00:22:25.230 --> 00:22:29.910 align:middle line:84% of fierce red wine he had made in his own backyard tool shed. 00:22:29.910 --> 00:22:32.250 align:middle line:90% He named the wine after himself. 00:22:32.250 --> 00:22:35.130 align:middle line:84% It was almost black and sweet as Mogen David, 00:22:35.130 --> 00:22:38.550 align:middle line:84% and he'd guzzle it down in one gulping pull, slurping 00:22:38.550 --> 00:22:40.650 align:middle line:84% the eggs out of the glass, and gasping, 00:22:40.650 --> 00:22:43.620 align:middle line:84% and sighing, and belching, and slamming the glass down 00:22:43.620 --> 00:22:44.610 align:middle line:90% on the counter. 00:22:44.610 --> 00:22:48.060 align:middle line:84% Then he'd work his fedora onto his head, jacket around 00:22:48.060 --> 00:22:51.030 align:middle line:84% on his skull until it was cocked at the perfect angle, 00:22:51.030 --> 00:22:53.250 align:middle line:90% and he'd start to whistle. 00:22:53.250 --> 00:22:55.110 align:middle line:84% It sounded like a stiff wind blowing 00:22:55.110 --> 00:22:57.030 align:middle line:84% across the mouth of a small cave, 00:22:57.030 --> 00:23:02.370 align:middle line:84% almost making music, but mostly making a whooshing sound. 00:23:02.370 --> 00:23:04.950 align:middle line:84% To this whooshing Abelino added a vibrato 00:23:04.950 --> 00:23:07.830 align:middle line:84% that made it sound like he had some melody in mind when 00:23:07.830 --> 00:23:11.400 align:middle line:84% he really had his mind full of joy. 00:23:11.400 --> 00:23:14.910 align:middle line:84% He was blowing the jazz of satisfaction. 00:23:14.910 --> 00:23:17.250 align:middle line:84% I never saw him go to church, but I 00:23:17.250 --> 00:23:20.640 align:middle line:84% did see him offer up holy rituals every day, 00:23:20.640 --> 00:23:22.650 align:middle line:90% hammering, killing termites. 00:23:22.650 --> 00:23:37.520 align:middle line:90% 00:23:37.520 --> 00:23:41.900 align:middle line:90% Best church I ever prayed in. 00:23:41.900 --> 00:23:45.650 align:middle line:84% After Abelino's morning snort, the women rose. 00:23:45.650 --> 00:23:49.550 align:middle line:84% I'd lie in bed and listen as every quadrant of the house 00:23:49.550 --> 00:23:52.820 align:middle line:84% came alive with the ringing of chamber pots filling 00:23:52.820 --> 00:23:55.450 align:middle line:90% with the day's first cascade. 00:23:55.450 --> 00:23:58.820 align:middle line:90% Triiing, Mamá. 00:23:58.820 --> 00:24:01.490 align:middle line:90% Then hrriiing, and prriiing. 00:24:01.490 --> 00:24:03.200 align:middle line:90% Ah, Quela and Fina. 00:24:03.200 --> 00:24:06.500 align:middle line:84% And then softly in the middle distance of the house 00:24:06.500 --> 00:24:11.240 align:middle line:90% a muffled shhh, which was Nina. 00:24:11.240 --> 00:24:13.580 align:middle line:84% A parade of women followed carrying 00:24:13.580 --> 00:24:17.150 align:middle line:84% their musically sloshing pots to the bathroom. 00:24:17.150 --> 00:24:21.620 align:middle line:84% Fina would collect Nina's for her, a ritual of respect. 00:24:21.620 --> 00:24:24.110 align:middle line:84% The pots sang out as they walked. 00:24:24.110 --> 00:24:26.070 align:middle line:90% Doish, they said. 00:24:26.070 --> 00:24:29.008 align:middle line:90% Do-iish. 00:24:29.008 --> 00:24:31.730 align:middle line:84% A round of flushing then, and the sound of murmurs, 00:24:31.730 --> 00:24:34.040 align:middle line:84% and clothes being shaken out in the air 00:24:34.040 --> 00:24:37.940 align:middle line:84% snapping crisply and silky sliding in the rubbery crack 00:24:37.940 --> 00:24:39.380 align:middle line:90% of girdles and bras. 00:24:39.380 --> 00:24:42.920 align:middle line:84% And the billowy sounds of aprons and the day had begun. 00:24:42.920 --> 00:24:46.430 align:middle line:84% Quela and Fina went to the kitchen and the aromas of dawn 00:24:46.430 --> 00:24:47.570 align:middle line:90% began to radiate. 00:24:47.570 --> 00:24:51.140 align:middle line:84% Coffee, lard, on cold days the scent 00:24:51.140 --> 00:24:54.920 align:middle line:84% of kerosene in the heater, tortillas. 00:24:54.920 --> 00:24:56.930 align:middle line:90% Nina said her rosary. 00:24:56.930 --> 00:24:59.870 align:middle line:84% Mamá hustled out the back door to make 00:24:59.870 --> 00:25:03.320 align:middle line:84% sure Abelino wasn't massacring her pansy beds to put 00:25:03.320 --> 00:25:04.370 align:middle line:90% in jalapenos." 00:25:04.370 --> 00:25:07.420 align:middle line:90% 00:25:07.420 --> 00:25:08.748 align:middle line:90% I'll skip this. 00:25:08.748 --> 00:25:12.500 align:middle line:90% 00:25:12.500 --> 00:25:13.550 align:middle line:90% OK. 00:25:13.550 --> 00:25:14.840 align:middle line:90% This is the last passage. 00:25:14.840 --> 00:25:21.140 align:middle line:90% 00:25:21.140 --> 00:25:23.800 align:middle line:84% "So it was all about love, starting 00:25:23.800 --> 00:25:26.440 align:middle line:90% with love for each other. 00:25:26.440 --> 00:25:28.270 align:middle line:84% Every night when Abelino had come in 00:25:28.270 --> 00:25:32.710 align:middle line:84% from his pointlessly busy days, after their nightly feast, 00:25:32.710 --> 00:25:35.590 align:middle line:84% he'd cruise over to the couch and recline. 00:25:35.590 --> 00:25:39.640 align:middle line:84% He'd pull out his dentures, spit a load into the spittoon, 00:25:39.640 --> 00:25:43.720 align:middle line:84% then settle in to enjoy a full evening of shouting insults 00:25:43.720 --> 00:25:45.280 align:middle line:90% at the television. 00:25:45.280 --> 00:25:47.770 align:middle line:84% Mamá Chayo, having supervised the cooking, 00:25:47.770 --> 00:25:50.140 align:middle line:84% would relinquish the cleanup to the twins. 00:25:50.140 --> 00:25:52.810 align:middle line:84% She'd collect her latest crocheting project 00:25:52.810 --> 00:25:55.720 align:middle line:84% and take her traditional spot at the other end of the couch 00:25:55.720 --> 00:25:58.390 align:middle line:84% where she'd chuckle at his outbursts. 00:25:58.390 --> 00:26:01.720 align:middle line:84% Nina, if she was awake, would say from her corner, 00:26:01.720 --> 00:26:03.130 align:middle line:90% oh boy, compadre. 00:26:03.130 --> 00:26:06.100 align:middle line:90% You're really on tonight. 00:26:06.100 --> 00:26:08.350 align:middle line:90% But mostly she'd snore. 00:26:08.350 --> 00:26:10.690 align:middle line:84% And when she started to snore Abelino 00:26:10.690 --> 00:26:14.470 align:middle line:84% would nudge Mamá and point to Nina and laugh. 00:26:14.470 --> 00:26:17.890 align:middle line:84% I'd watch then for their special love gesture. 00:26:17.890 --> 00:26:21.100 align:middle line:84% I almost quivered with anticipation. 00:26:21.100 --> 00:26:23.650 align:middle line:84% Some nights it took forever and on other nights 00:26:23.650 --> 00:26:27.640 align:middle line:84% it happened right away, but it always happened. 00:26:27.640 --> 00:26:30.450 align:middle line:84% I wonder now if they each knew that the gesture was 00:26:30.450 --> 00:26:31.390 align:middle line:90% going to happen. 00:26:31.390 --> 00:26:35.010 align:middle line:84% And maybe, just maybe, they held back, sort of 00:26:35.010 --> 00:26:37.860 align:middle line:90% stalled to build anticipation. 00:26:37.860 --> 00:26:42.870 align:middle line:84% Like saving that toffee crunch in the chocolate box to last. 00:26:42.870 --> 00:26:45.330 align:middle line:84% Maybe even though they were my godparents, 00:26:45.330 --> 00:26:50.570 align:middle line:84% my elders, maybe this was a sensual delight for them. 00:26:50.570 --> 00:26:52.670 align:middle line:90% They had a lot of kids. 00:26:52.670 --> 00:26:54.930 align:middle line:90% They were sexy. 00:26:54.930 --> 00:26:58.650 align:middle line:84% They were in their 60s and 70s, and they were sexy. 00:26:58.650 --> 00:27:03.840 align:middle line:84% So maybe it was a sexually as well as emotionally satisfying 00:27:03.840 --> 00:27:04.800 align:middle line:90% gesture. 00:27:04.800 --> 00:27:08.850 align:middle line:84% Like when someone you love takes your elbow in a crowd. 00:27:08.850 --> 00:27:11.280 align:middle line:90% Like when you hold hands. 00:27:11.280 --> 00:27:13.980 align:middle line:84% Or when late in the night you reach out your hand 00:27:13.980 --> 00:27:17.880 align:middle line:84% and catch the cup of the hip bone of your partner just 00:27:17.880 --> 00:27:20.850 align:middle line:84% to feel the warmth, the life there. 00:27:20.850 --> 00:27:24.060 align:middle line:84% Or when somebody absentmindedly runs her fingers through 00:27:24.060 --> 00:27:28.380 align:middle line:84% your hair like a comb, like your fairy godmothers fingertips 00:27:28.380 --> 00:27:31.680 align:middle line:84% were on your scalp, or your mom's. 00:27:31.680 --> 00:27:35.530 align:middle line:84% It makes you want to cry, and it makes you want to go to sleep. 00:27:35.530 --> 00:27:38.590 align:middle line:90% Or a palm against your cheek. 00:27:38.590 --> 00:27:39.640 align:middle line:90% I'd watch for it. 00:27:39.640 --> 00:27:43.780 align:middle line:84% And sooner or later, Abelino's battered old slippers 00:27:43.780 --> 00:27:47.350 align:middle line:84% had come off and he'd ease his legs up on the couch 00:27:47.350 --> 00:27:50.620 align:middle line:84% and his feet would start to creep. 00:27:50.620 --> 00:27:54.280 align:middle line:84% His thin black socks would bunch around his rocky ankles 00:27:54.280 --> 00:27:56.080 align:middle line:90% making a pouch at his toes. 00:27:56.080 --> 00:28:00.010 align:middle line:84% And those feet, first one, then the other, 00:28:00.010 --> 00:28:01.585 align:middle line:90% would move toward her like cats. 00:28:01.585 --> 00:28:06.860 align:middle line:90% 00:28:06.860 --> 00:28:09.320 align:middle line:84% The feet wandered down the couch, 00:28:09.320 --> 00:28:14.060 align:middle line:84% found her leg as if by accident then moved up into her lap. 00:28:14.060 --> 00:28:20.780 align:middle line:84% His smelly toes would push the crochet needles aside 00:28:20.780 --> 00:28:24.320 align:middle line:84% and she turned and put her work in a bowl with a small tinkle 00:28:24.320 --> 00:28:27.770 align:middle line:84% then turn off the lamp and turn to watch TV. 00:28:27.770 --> 00:28:30.500 align:middle line:84% The lenses of her glasses glowing blue 00:28:30.500 --> 00:28:33.500 align:middle line:84% with reflected light, like she's shooting love 00:28:33.500 --> 00:28:35.660 align:middle line:90% beams out of her eyes. 00:28:35.660 --> 00:28:41.750 align:middle line:84% Then never looking at his feet, she'd put her hands on them. 00:28:41.750 --> 00:28:43.760 align:middle line:90% She wouldn't massage them. 00:28:43.760 --> 00:28:45.960 align:middle line:90% She'd touch them. 00:28:45.960 --> 00:28:47.100 align:middle line:90% Hold them. 00:28:47.100 --> 00:28:48.300 align:middle line:90% Cup them. 00:28:48.300 --> 00:28:52.740 align:middle line:84% Feel his arches and toes, run her palms up and down them. 00:28:52.740 --> 00:28:55.830 align:middle line:84% It was the most extraordinary thing, this foot fondling. 00:28:55.830 --> 00:28:58.965 align:middle line:84% And you could see his delighted toes in there wiggling around. 00:28:58.965 --> 00:29:02.100 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHTER] 00:29:02.100 --> 00:29:03.980 align:middle line:90% 00:29:03.980 --> 00:29:11.210 align:middle line:84% Now, imagine the darkest day of our lives when she died. 00:29:11.210 --> 00:29:13.310 align:middle line:90% It was sudden. 00:29:13.310 --> 00:29:16.310 align:middle line:84% A stroke as she stood beside their bed, on the side 00:29:16.310 --> 00:29:18.290 align:middle line:90% she'd slept on for 50 years. 00:29:18.290 --> 00:29:21.230 align:middle line:84% The side she had risen on every morning 00:29:21.230 --> 00:29:23.390 align:middle line:90% to follow him into the day. 00:29:23.390 --> 00:29:26.810 align:middle line:84% She fell to the floor beside her chamber pot 00:29:26.810 --> 00:29:29.660 align:middle line:90% where they found her. 00:29:29.660 --> 00:29:32.780 align:middle line:84% And the funeral, which is where all this is heading. 00:29:32.780 --> 00:29:35.030 align:middle line:90% I want you at the funeral. 00:29:35.030 --> 00:29:38.930 align:middle line:84% Her children, her nieces, and nephews, her grandchildren, 00:29:38.930 --> 00:29:44.150 align:middle line:84% her acolytes, and me, devastated. 00:29:44.150 --> 00:29:50.270 align:middle line:84% And Abelino, this hard, old man, fierce, solitary, he 00:29:50.270 --> 00:29:53.390 align:middle line:84% spent the whole funeral attending to the mourners. 00:29:53.390 --> 00:29:56.360 align:middle line:84% Patting my mother on the back, holding up 00:29:56.360 --> 00:29:59.780 align:middle line:84% the ones who went to the open coffin and collapsed. 00:29:59.780 --> 00:30:05.120 align:middle line:84% He wore a suit that looked like he'd owned it since 1948. 00:30:05.120 --> 00:30:09.470 align:middle line:84% At this funeral I saw Abelino's ultimate gesture of love. 00:30:09.470 --> 00:30:11.910 align:middle line:90% It wasn't for me to see. 00:30:11.910 --> 00:30:15.510 align:middle line:84% It was a secret I was lucky enough to glimpse. 00:30:15.510 --> 00:30:18.040 align:middle line:84% And it has stayed with me all these years. 00:30:18.040 --> 00:30:22.310 align:middle line:84% Abelino's mute poem, his mute symphony. 00:30:22.310 --> 00:30:25.460 align:middle line:84% Right at the end, after the many mourners had passed. 00:30:25.460 --> 00:30:28.460 align:middle line:84% After my father had gone out to his car. 00:30:28.460 --> 00:30:31.520 align:middle line:84% Right before they closed the box forever 00:30:31.520 --> 00:30:34.280 align:middle line:90% and carried it to the hearse. 00:30:34.280 --> 00:30:37.790 align:middle line:90% Abelino stepped up to her. 00:30:37.790 --> 00:30:39.830 align:middle line:90% He didn't weep. 00:30:39.830 --> 00:30:44.180 align:middle line:84% He stood silently gazing down at his one love. 00:30:44.180 --> 00:30:47.270 align:middle line:90% His one true destined love. 00:30:47.270 --> 00:30:50.000 align:middle line:84% The companion of more than a lifetime, 00:30:50.000 --> 00:30:52.670 align:middle line:90% and he studied her face. 00:30:52.670 --> 00:30:58.340 align:middle line:84% Then with no emotion showing he reached into the coffin 00:30:58.340 --> 00:31:01.510 align:middle line:84% and put his palm against her cheek. 00:31:01.510 --> 00:31:07.540 align:middle line:84% His big iron calloused workers hand, it trembled slightly, 00:31:07.540 --> 00:31:10.660 align:middle line:84% and it landed on her flesh as delicately as one 00:31:10.660 --> 00:31:14.860 align:middle line:84% of her butterflies, just a second, no more. 00:31:14.860 --> 00:31:19.210 align:middle line:84% But all the love in the world was there in his palm. 00:31:19.210 --> 00:31:23.140 align:middle line:84% All the love in the universe, and all the tenderness, 00:31:23.140 --> 00:31:26.260 align:middle line:84% and all the grief, and all the beauty 00:31:26.260 --> 00:31:31.360 align:middle line:84% collected there in his hand and lay against her lovely cheek." 00:31:31.360 --> 00:31:32.688 align:middle line:90% That's it. 00:31:32.688 --> 00:31:36.060 align:middle line:90% [APPLAUSE] 00:31:36.060 --> 00:31:36.560 align:middle line:90% 00:31:36.560 --> 00:31:37.528 align:middle line:90% Thank you. 00:31:37.528 --> 00:31:42.380 align:middle line:90% 00:31:42.380 --> 00:31:44.540 align:middle line:90% Thank you. 00:31:44.540 --> 00:31:46.390 align:middle line:90% [CHUCKLES] 00:31:46.390 --> 00:32:04.000 align:middle line:90%