WEBVTT

00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:00.800 align:middle line:90%


00:00:00.800 --> 00:00:08.260 align:middle line:84%
So we had a class last night
about radical revision.

00:00:08.260 --> 00:00:08.760 align:middle line:90%
Yeah.

00:00:08.760 --> 00:00:11.700 align:middle line:84%
And in that, I mentioned
John Keats' idea

00:00:11.700 --> 00:00:13.140 align:middle line:90%
of negative capability.

00:00:13.140 --> 00:00:15.850 align:middle line:90%


00:00:15.850 --> 00:00:19.870 align:middle line:84%
And which is really a
mandate for poetry but also

00:00:19.870 --> 00:00:22.540 align:middle line:84%
for living, and being
comfortable with the unknown

00:00:22.540 --> 00:00:24.010 align:middle line:90%
and taking risks.

00:00:24.010 --> 00:00:25.360 align:middle line:90%
And

00:00:25.360 --> 00:00:27.915 align:middle line:84%
It's something that I
try to do in the writing.

00:00:27.915 --> 00:00:30.040 align:middle line:84%
Not so much when I'm reading
the poems, but tonight

00:00:30.040 --> 00:00:31.840 align:middle line:90%
I'm doing that in this sense.

00:00:31.840 --> 00:00:34.870 align:middle line:84%
It's a long poem,
and I'm saving it

00:00:34.870 --> 00:00:38.890 align:middle line:84%
to the end of a long reading
at the end of a long day.

00:00:38.890 --> 00:00:40.490 align:middle line:84%
So I'm hoping
you'll stay with me.

00:00:40.490 --> 00:00:41.170 align:middle line:90%
Yeah.

00:00:41.170 --> 00:00:41.680 align:middle line:90%
OK.

00:00:41.680 --> 00:00:45.340 align:middle line:90%
So a little bit about the poem.

00:00:45.340 --> 00:00:48.370 align:middle line:84%
My wife always says that I say
too much to introduce the poem,

00:00:48.370 --> 00:00:49.600 align:middle line:90%
but she ain't here.

00:00:49.600 --> 00:00:54.340 align:middle line:84%
So-- [LAUGHTER] so I'm
going to introduce a poem.

00:00:54.340 --> 00:00:57.320 align:middle line:84%
I was living in DC
for about 11 years.

00:00:57.320 --> 00:01:04.330 align:middle line:84%
And while I was there, one night
in the early '90s, it's dusk,

00:01:04.330 --> 00:01:08.823 align:middle line:84%
I'm walking down the street
and something flies towards me

00:01:08.823 --> 00:01:10.240 align:middle line:84%
and I thought it
was attacking me.

00:01:10.240 --> 00:01:11.980 align:middle line:90%
I thought it was a bat.

00:01:11.980 --> 00:01:14.020 align:middle line:84%
It flies away, comes back
attacks me some more,

00:01:14.020 --> 00:01:14.890 align:middle line:90%
flies away.

00:01:14.890 --> 00:01:17.990 align:middle line:84%
And what I noticed, it
was a bird, small bird.

00:01:17.990 --> 00:01:21.620 align:middle line:84%
And it was coming and
just really frantic

00:01:21.620 --> 00:01:23.450 align:middle line:84%
and then when it would
fly away from me,

00:01:23.450 --> 00:01:27.530 align:middle line:84%
it was flying to where
there was another bird that

00:01:27.530 --> 00:01:31.760 align:middle line:84%
had his foot caught
in a closed car door.

00:01:31.760 --> 00:01:34.610 align:middle line:84%
So that bird was kind of beating
his body against the door trying

00:01:34.610 --> 00:01:35.630 align:middle line:90%
to get free.

00:01:35.630 --> 00:01:38.700 align:middle line:84%
So the first bird was
trying to get help.

00:01:38.700 --> 00:01:44.285 align:middle line:84%
And it was DC, '90s,
rough neighborhood.

00:01:44.285 --> 00:01:46.160 align:middle line:84%
The only way that I
could have freed the bird

00:01:46.160 --> 00:01:50.480 align:middle line:84%
would have been to open the car
door, car alarm would sound,

00:01:50.480 --> 00:01:53.470 align:middle line:84%
somebody comes out the
house, the bird's gone.

00:01:53.470 --> 00:01:58.970 align:middle line:84%
So I made a call
and I kept walking,

00:01:58.970 --> 00:02:01.140 align:middle line:84%
and the bird flew
out to me for a while

00:02:01.140 --> 00:02:03.120 align:middle line:90%
then it just gave up on me.

00:02:03.120 --> 00:02:05.300 align:middle line:84%
And when I first
started writing poems,

00:02:05.300 --> 00:02:07.460 align:middle line:84%
I knew I wanted to write
about that incident.

00:02:07.460 --> 00:02:13.190 align:middle line:84%
And I wasn't able to for at
least a couple of decades.

00:02:13.190 --> 00:02:18.530 align:middle line:84%
Until I read this article about
the jazz musician, Eric Dolphy.

00:02:18.530 --> 00:02:21.320 align:middle line:84%
And in the article, it said
that one of his practices

00:02:21.320 --> 00:02:23.420 align:middle line:90%
was to go into wooded areas--

00:02:23.420 --> 00:02:27.350 align:middle line:84%
into parks, forests, and
he would listen to birds

00:02:27.350 --> 00:02:30.392 align:middle line:84%
and he would try to transcribe
their calls because he said

00:02:30.392 --> 00:02:32.600 align:middle line:84%
there was something earnest
and honest in their music

00:02:32.600 --> 00:02:34.840 align:middle line:84%
that he wanted to
get into his own.

00:02:34.840 --> 00:02:38.800 align:middle line:84%
And when I read that, it
reminded me of the birds in DC

00:02:38.800 --> 00:02:41.590 align:middle line:84%
and then the poems
started to happen.

00:02:41.590 --> 00:02:44.770 align:middle line:90%


00:02:44.770 --> 00:02:47.500 align:middle line:90%
But it's long, so stay with me.

00:02:47.500 --> 00:02:51.160 align:middle line:84%
And it has a bleeding title,
which means the title bleeds

00:02:51.160 --> 00:02:52.030 align:middle line:90%
into the text--

00:02:52.030 --> 00:02:53.920 align:middle line:90%
I'm going to hydrate now.

00:02:53.920 --> 00:03:00.800 align:middle line:90%


00:03:00.800 --> 00:03:03.542 align:middle line:90%
Thank you for listening.

00:03:03.542 --> 00:03:08.210 align:middle line:84%
"Upon Reading That Eric Dolphy
Transcribed Even the Calls

00:03:08.210 --> 00:03:11.870 align:middle line:90%
of Certain Species of Birds,"

00:03:11.870 --> 00:03:15.080 align:middle line:84%
I think first of
two sparrows I met

00:03:15.080 --> 00:03:21.140 align:middle line:84%
when walking home, late night
years ago, in another city,

00:03:21.140 --> 00:03:23.030 align:middle line:90%
not unlike this--

00:03:23.030 --> 00:03:26.570 align:middle line:84%
the one bird frantic,
attacking I thought,

00:03:26.570 --> 00:03:28.850 align:middle line:84%
the way she swooped
down, circled my head,

00:03:28.850 --> 00:03:32.470 align:middle line:84%
and flailed her
wings in my face,

00:03:32.470 --> 00:03:36.500 align:middle line:84%
how she seemed to scream
each time I swung,

00:03:36.500 --> 00:03:40.400 align:middle line:84%
how she dashed back and forth
between me and the blood

00:03:40.400 --> 00:03:46.890 align:middle line:84%
red Corolla parked near the
opposite curb, how, finally, I

00:03:46.890 --> 00:03:49.170 align:middle line:90%
understood.

00:03:49.170 --> 00:03:51.840 align:middle line:84%
I spied another
bird, also calling,

00:03:51.840 --> 00:03:56.340 align:middle line:84%
its foot inexplicably caught
in the car's closed door,

00:03:56.340 --> 00:03:59.380 align:middle line:84%
beating its whole
bird body against it.

00:03:59.380 --> 00:04:04.030 align:middle line:84%
Trying, it appeared,
to bang himself free.

00:04:04.030 --> 00:04:08.680 align:middle line:84%
And who knows how long
he'd been there, flailing.

00:04:08.680 --> 00:04:16.769 align:middle line:84%
Who knows-- he and the other I
mistook, at first, for a bat.

00:04:16.769 --> 00:04:18.720 align:middle line:90%
They called to me--

00:04:18.720 --> 00:04:22.050 align:middle line:84%
something between squawk
and chirp, something

00:04:22.050 --> 00:04:24.720 align:middle line:90%
between song and prayer--

00:04:24.720 --> 00:04:27.900 align:middle line:90%
to do something, anything.

00:04:27.900 --> 00:04:34.370 align:middle line:84%
And, like any good
god, I disappeared.

00:04:34.370 --> 00:04:36.410 align:middle line:90%
Not indifferent, exactly.

00:04:36.410 --> 00:04:38.300 align:middle line:90%
But with things to do.

00:04:38.300 --> 00:04:44.010 align:middle line:84%
And most likely, on my way
home from another heartbreak.

00:04:44.010 --> 00:04:48.750 align:middle line:84%
Call it 1997, and say I'm
several thousand miles

00:04:48.750 --> 00:04:49.470 align:middle line:90%
from home.

00:04:49.470 --> 00:04:52.170 align:middle line:84%
By which I mean
those were the days

00:04:52.170 --> 00:04:55.820 align:middle line:90%
I made of everyone a love song.

00:04:55.820 --> 00:05:02.050 align:middle line:84%
By which I mean I was
lonely and unrequited.

00:05:02.050 --> 00:05:04.180 align:middle line:90%
But that's not quite it either.

00:05:04.180 --> 00:05:07.480 align:middle line:84%
Truth is, I did manage
to find a few to love me,

00:05:07.480 --> 00:05:10.090 align:middle line:84%
but couldn't always
love them back.

00:05:10.090 --> 00:05:13.030 align:middle line:90%
The Rasta law professor.

00:05:13.030 --> 00:05:15.400 align:middle line:90%
The firefighter's wife.

00:05:15.400 --> 00:05:17.290 align:middle line:84%
The burlesque dancer
whose daughter

00:05:17.290 --> 00:05:20.560 align:middle line:84%
blackened drawings
with ms to mean the sky

00:05:20.560 --> 00:05:24.390 align:middle line:84%
was full of birds the
day her daddy died.

00:05:24.390 --> 00:05:27.480 align:middle line:84%
I think his widow said he
drowned one morning on a fishing

00:05:27.480 --> 00:05:29.140 align:middle line:90%
trip.

00:05:29.140 --> 00:05:31.910 align:middle line:90%
Anyway, I'm digressing.

00:05:31.910 --> 00:05:34.000 align:middle line:90%
But if you ask that night--

00:05:34.000 --> 00:05:35.920 align:middle line:90%
did I mention it was night?--

00:05:35.920 --> 00:05:40.300 align:middle line:84%
why didn't even try to jimmy
the lock to spring the sparrow,

00:05:40.300 --> 00:05:45.340 align:middle line:84%
I couldn't say, truthfully, that
it had anything to do with envy,

00:05:45.340 --> 00:05:50.860 align:middle line:84%
with wanting a woman to plead as
deeply for me as these sparrows

00:05:50.860 --> 00:05:54.650 align:middle line:90%
did, one for the other.

00:05:54.650 --> 00:05:56.580 align:middle line:90%
No.

00:05:56.580 --> 00:05:58.560 align:middle line:84%
I'd have said
something, instead,

00:05:58.560 --> 00:06:02.580 align:middle line:84%
about the neighborhood
itself, the car thief

00:06:02.580 --> 00:06:06.750 align:middle line:84%
shot a block and a half
east the week before.

00:06:06.750 --> 00:06:10.170 align:middle line:84%
Or about the men I
came across nights

00:06:10.170 --> 00:06:12.900 align:middle line:84%
prior, sweat-slicked
and shirtless,

00:06:12.900 --> 00:06:16.350 align:middle line:84%
grappling in the middle of
the street, the larger one's

00:06:16.350 --> 00:06:19.140 align:middle line:84%
chest pressed to the
back of the smaller,

00:06:19.140 --> 00:06:21.030 align:middle line:90%
bruised and bleeding both.

00:06:21.030 --> 00:06:27.300 align:middle line:84%
I know you thought this was
about birds, but stay with me.

00:06:27.300 --> 00:06:29.830 align:middle line:90%
I left them both in the street--

00:06:29.830 --> 00:06:32.620 align:middle line:84%
the same street where
I'd leave the sparrows--

00:06:32.620 --> 00:06:37.330 align:middle line:84%
the men embracing and, for all
one knows they could have been

00:06:37.330 --> 00:06:38.740 align:middle line:90%
lovers--

00:06:38.740 --> 00:06:43.990 align:middle line:84%
the one whispering an old, old
tune into the ear of the other--

00:06:43.990 --> 00:06:50.220 align:middle line:84%
baby, baby, don't
leave me this way.

00:06:50.220 --> 00:06:56.380 align:middle line:84%
I left the men where I'd leave
the sparrows and their song.

00:06:56.380 --> 00:06:58.200 align:middle line:84%
And as I walked
away, I heard one

00:06:58.200 --> 00:07:08.260 align:middle line:84%
of the men call to me, please
or help or brother or some such.

00:07:08.260 --> 00:07:12.940 align:middle line:84%
And I didn't break
stride, not one bit.

00:07:12.940 --> 00:07:14.980 align:middle line:84%
It's how I've learned
to save myself.

00:07:14.980 --> 00:07:18.200 align:middle line:90%


00:07:18.200 --> 00:07:20.360 align:middle line:90%
Let me try this another way.

00:07:20.360 --> 00:07:23.300 align:middle line:90%
Call it 1977.

00:07:23.300 --> 00:07:27.650 align:middle line:84%
And say I'm back west,
South Central Los Angeles.

00:07:27.650 --> 00:07:29.900 align:middle line:84%
My mother and
father at it again.

00:07:29.900 --> 00:07:35.120 align:middle line:84%
But this time in the
street, broad daylight,

00:07:35.120 --> 00:07:37.950 align:middle line:90%
and all the neighbors watching.

00:07:37.950 --> 00:07:41.910 align:middle line:84%
One, I think his name was
Sonny, runs out from his duplex

00:07:41.910 --> 00:07:44.770 align:middle line:90%
to pull my father off.

00:07:44.770 --> 00:07:47.070 align:middle line:84%
You see where I'm
going with this?

00:07:47.070 --> 00:07:52.230 align:middle line:84%
My mother crying out,
fragile as a sparrow.

00:07:52.230 --> 00:07:58.080 align:middle line:84%
Sonny fighting my father,
fragile as a sparrow.

00:07:58.080 --> 00:08:05.110 align:middle line:84%
And me, years later,
trying to get it all down.

00:08:05.110 --> 00:08:07.270 align:middle line:90%
As much for you--

00:08:07.270 --> 00:08:11.120 align:middle line:90%
I'm saying as for me.

00:08:11.120 --> 00:08:15.020 align:middle line:84%
Sonny catches a left,
lies flat on his back,

00:08:15.020 --> 00:08:18.290 align:middle line:84%
blood starting to pool
and his own wife wailing.

00:08:18.290 --> 00:08:24.080 align:middle line:84%
My mother wailing, and traffic
backed, now, half a block.

00:08:24.080 --> 00:08:30.390 align:middle line:84%
Horns, whistles,
and soon sirens.

00:08:30.390 --> 00:08:33.120 align:middle line:90%
1977.

00:08:33.120 --> 00:08:33.990 align:middle line:90%
Summer.

00:08:33.990 --> 00:08:38.299 align:middle line:90%
And all the trees full of birds.

00:08:38.299 --> 00:08:40.504 align:middle line:90%
Hundreds, I swear.

00:08:40.504 --> 00:08:43.429 align:middle line:90%


00:08:43.429 --> 00:08:45.470 align:middle line:84%
And since I'm the
one writing it,

00:08:45.470 --> 00:08:49.440 align:middle line:90%
I'll tell you they were crying.

00:08:49.440 --> 00:08:55.650 align:middle line:84%
Which brings me back to
Dolphy and his transcribing.

00:08:55.650 --> 00:09:03.130 align:middle line:84%
The jazzman, I think, wanted
only to get it down pure.

00:09:03.130 --> 00:09:07.200 align:middle line:90%
To get it down exact--

00:09:07.200 --> 00:09:12.990 align:middle line:84%
the animal racking itself
against the car's steel door,

00:09:12.990 --> 00:09:16.950 align:middle line:84%
the animals in the
trees reporting,

00:09:16.950 --> 00:09:20.370 align:middle line:84%
the animals we make of
ourselves and one another,

00:09:20.370 --> 00:09:23.220 align:middle line:90%
flailing, failing.

00:09:23.220 --> 00:09:26.540 align:middle line:90%
Stay with me now.

00:09:26.540 --> 00:09:32.090 align:middle line:84%
Days after the dustup, my
parents took me to the park.

00:09:32.090 --> 00:09:38.810 align:middle line:84%
And in this park was a pond,
and in this pond were birds.

00:09:38.810 --> 00:09:42.720 align:middle line:90%
Not sparrows, but swans.

00:09:42.720 --> 00:09:46.700 align:middle line:84%
And my father spread a blanket
and brought from a basket

00:09:46.700 --> 00:09:50.330 align:middle line:90%
some apples and a paring knife.

00:09:50.330 --> 00:09:52.440 align:middle line:90%
Summertime.

00:09:52.440 --> 00:09:55.080 align:middle line:90%
My mother wore sunglasses.

00:09:55.080 --> 00:09:56.325 align:middle line:90%
And long sleeves.

00:09:56.325 --> 00:09:59.060 align:middle line:90%


00:09:59.060 --> 00:10:06.280 align:middle line:84%
My father, now sober, cursed
himself for leaving the radio.

00:10:06.280 --> 00:10:09.400 align:middle line:84%
But my mother forgave
him, and said,

00:10:09.400 --> 00:10:13.080 align:middle line:84%
as she caressed the
back of his hand,

00:10:13.080 --> 00:10:16.180 align:middle line:84%
now we could just
listen to the swans.

00:10:16.180 --> 00:10:17.860 align:middle line:90%
And we listened.

00:10:17.860 --> 00:10:20.300 align:middle line:90%
And I watched.

00:10:20.300 --> 00:10:24.680 align:middle line:84%
Two birds coupling, one
beating its wings as it

00:10:24.680 --> 00:10:26.800 align:middle line:90%
mounted the other.

00:10:26.800 --> 00:10:32.110 align:middle line:90%
Summer, 1977, I listened.

00:10:32.110 --> 00:10:34.600 align:middle line:90%
And watched.

00:10:34.600 --> 00:10:38.440 align:middle line:84%
When my parents made love
late into that night,

00:10:38.440 --> 00:10:40.930 align:middle line:84%
I covered my ears
in the next room,

00:10:40.930 --> 00:10:45.310 align:middle line:84%
scanning the
encyclopedia for swans.

00:10:45.310 --> 00:10:46.720 align:middle line:90%
It meant nothing to me--

00:10:46.720 --> 00:10:49.210 align:middle line:84%
then, at least--
but did you know

00:10:49.210 --> 00:10:55.540 align:middle line:84%
the collective noun for
swans is a lamentation?

00:10:55.540 --> 00:11:01.020 align:middle line:84%
And is a lamentation not
its own species of song?

00:11:01.020 --> 00:11:04.770 align:middle line:84%
What a woman wails, punch
drunk in the street?

00:11:04.770 --> 00:11:08.370 align:middle line:84%
Or what a widow
might sing, learning

00:11:08.370 --> 00:11:11.460 align:middle line:90%
her man was drowned by swans?

00:11:11.460 --> 00:11:13.940 align:middle line:90%
A lamentation of them?

00:11:13.940 --> 00:11:17.420 align:middle line:84%
Imagine the capsized
boat, the panicked man,

00:11:17.420 --> 00:11:20.570 align:middle line:84%
struck about the eyes,
nose, and mouth each time

00:11:20.570 --> 00:11:22.830 align:middle line:90%
he comes up for air.

00:11:22.830 --> 00:11:27.640 align:middle line:84%
Imagine the birds coasting away
in the waters, suddenly calm.

00:11:27.640 --> 00:11:30.040 align:middle line:90%
Either trumpet swans or mutes.

00:11:30.040 --> 00:11:32.650 align:middle line:84%
The dead man's wife
running for help,

00:11:32.650 --> 00:11:35.470 align:middle line:90%
crying to any who'd listen.

00:11:35.470 --> 00:11:37.090 align:middle line:90%
A lamentation.

00:11:37.090 --> 00:11:42.250 align:middle line:90%
And a city busy saving itself.

00:11:42.250 --> 00:11:43.390 align:middle line:90%
I'm digressing.

00:11:43.390 --> 00:11:44.650 align:middle line:90%
Sure.

00:11:44.650 --> 00:11:50.160 align:middle line:84%
But did you know that to digress
means to stray from the flock?

00:11:50.160 --> 00:11:54.060 align:middle line:84%
When I left my parents'
house, I never looked back.

00:11:54.060 --> 00:11:59.250 align:middle line:84%
By which I mean I made
like a god and disappeared.

00:11:59.250 --> 00:12:01.530 align:middle line:90%
As when I left the sparrows.

00:12:01.530 --> 00:12:04.440 align:middle line:90%
And the copulating swans.

00:12:04.440 --> 00:12:07.630 align:middle line:84%
As when someday I'll
leave this city.

00:12:07.630 --> 00:12:13.530 align:middle line:84%
Its every flailing,
its every animal song.

00:12:13.530 --> 00:12:14.850 align:middle line:90%
Thank you.

00:12:14.850 --> 00:12:16.700 align:middle line:90%
[APPLAUSE]

00:12:16.700 --> 00:12:27.000 align:middle line:90%