WEBVTT

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Oh, gosh.

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When did we start this reading?

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7:00?

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Where has the time gone?

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I thought I'd read some poems
from the middle of the book.

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It's all one section.

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I wrote the poems individually.

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And I wrote them all
in a week and a half,

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which has never happened
to me before in my life.

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I'm a slow writer, really.

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And I'm not a high
volume writer.

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So I tend to be really
precious about what I do write.

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And I work it and work it, and
try to make it into something.

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But this time, I was
just struck by lightning.

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And it's because I was
avoiding my subject.

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My dad had died, finally.

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He'd been dying for a long time.

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He was an addict
and an alcoholic.

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And we all kind of
knew it was coming.

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But he was 52.

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He died in his sleep.

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And so he died right before
my first book came out.

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And so I'm hitting the
road, reading these poems,

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and a lot of them are about him.

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And it was a really
intense time.

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And so I avoided the
subject of the sort

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of aftermath of his death
for a long, long time.

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I basically didn't
write for two years,

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which is devastating if you
think of yourself as a writer.

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And I realized that
it was maybe because I

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was avoiding the big,
difficult subject in my life.

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And so I finally
was like, OK, I'll

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try to write something about it.

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And then all these poems
came flowing out just one

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after the other.

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They just were
waiting to be born.

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And so I'll read some of these.

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I might read-- we'll see.

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I'll read some of them at least.

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They're all called "Fixer."

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I mean, the whole poem
is called "Fixer."

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And each individual
poem has a secret title,

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and I'll let you in on
them as I read them.

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This first one is
called "Rodeo."

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We're breaking
into your apartment

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through your bedroom window.

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The maintenance guy's ladder
is propped against the sill.

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I climb the ladder rung by rung.

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It shivers.

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I try not to look down.

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A face appears in the glass.

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"What are you doing?"

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the face says.

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"I'm looking for
my dad's," I say.

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"I thought this was his window."

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"Aren't you Ken's boy?" he says.

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"No," I say.

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"Chris's."

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"Oh, Chris," he says.

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"He's dead."

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"I know," I say.

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"I thought you could
be Ken's," he says.

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"Sorry," I say.

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"Believe me," the face
says, "not my first rodeo."

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I climb down.

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We haul the ladder to the
next window and try again.

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