WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:03.410 align:middle line:84% Anyway, this book is also about weird jobs that I've had. 00:00:03.410 --> 00:00:05.630 align:middle line:84% And so I thought I'd read this one. 00:00:05.630 --> 00:00:08.420 align:middle line:84% Do we all know McCormick spice company? 00:00:08.420 --> 00:00:09.920 align:middle line:84% With the red lids and so on, they're 00:00:09.920 --> 00:00:11.270 align:middle line:90% in every supermarket in America. 00:00:11.270 --> 00:00:13.980 align:middle line:84% Their headquarters is outside of Baltimore, Maryland, 00:00:13.980 --> 00:00:16.700 align:middle line:84% which is where I live and where I went to college also. 00:00:16.700 --> 00:00:20.690 align:middle line:84% And so after school, I graduated into the Great Recession. 00:00:20.690 --> 00:00:22.130 align:middle line:90% Lovely. 00:00:22.130 --> 00:00:24.140 align:middle line:84% And so I did a lot of weird side hustles. 00:00:24.140 --> 00:00:29.150 align:middle line:84% And one was working as a taste tester for McCormick spice 00:00:29.150 --> 00:00:30.380 align:middle line:90% company. 00:00:30.380 --> 00:00:32.600 align:middle line:90% I ate a lot of hummus. 00:00:32.600 --> 00:00:33.830 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHTER] 00:00:33.830 --> 00:00:36.710 align:middle line:84% And I told them what I thought about the hummus. 00:00:36.710 --> 00:00:38.310 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHTER] 00:00:38.310 --> 00:00:40.340 align:middle line:84% I'm so proud that this poem is in the book 00:00:40.340 --> 00:00:44.520 align:middle line:84% because it's literally just a description of my job. 00:00:44.520 --> 00:00:46.730 align:middle line:90% It's called "Tester." 00:00:46.730 --> 00:00:50.030 align:middle line:84% I catch a bus out to the county and check in 00:00:50.030 --> 00:00:52.070 align:middle line:90% at a beige terminal. 00:00:52.070 --> 00:00:58.810 align:middle line:84% And they ask me about the smells and textures of various dips. 00:00:58.810 --> 00:01:02.080 align:middle line:84% And I click appealing or not appealing, 00:01:02.080 --> 00:01:06.900 align:middle line:84% then elaborate in the text box below, artichoke 00:01:06.900 --> 00:01:10.530 align:middle line:84% and French onion, spicy three-bean queso. 00:01:10.530 --> 00:01:12.693 align:middle line:90% I got in on referral. 00:01:12.693 --> 00:01:15.110 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHTER] 00:01:15.110 --> 00:01:17.880 align:middle line:90% I live with seven other people. 00:01:17.880 --> 00:01:20.580 align:middle line:84% I measure rent in how many sessions 00:01:20.580 --> 00:01:24.130 align:middle line:90% I have to do with the dips. 00:01:24.130 --> 00:01:26.140 align:middle line:84% I start testing what I can get away with, 00:01:26.140 --> 00:01:31.840 align:middle line:84% notes of bright espresso, mouthfeel of a sun-ripe plum. 00:01:31.840 --> 00:01:34.340 align:middle line:90% I write longer and longer. 00:01:34.340 --> 00:01:36.100 align:middle line:90% I don't think they read a word. 00:01:36.100 --> 00:01:37.450 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHTER] 00:01:37.450 --> 00:01:40.750 align:middle line:84% It's weeks before you're entered into the system, more weeks 00:01:40.750 --> 00:01:43.060 align:middle line:90% to get your tiny check. 00:01:43.060 --> 00:01:45.730 align:middle line:84% Arlene says, if you think it's a scam, why 00:01:45.730 --> 00:01:48.370 align:middle line:90% do you keep saying yes? 00:01:48.370 --> 00:01:50.980 align:middle line:84% In the fluorescent room, I receive one dip 00:01:50.980 --> 00:01:54.640 align:middle line:84% after another from blue gloved hands, always 00:01:54.640 --> 00:01:57.490 align:middle line:84% the same plain tortilla chips to dip with, 00:01:57.490 --> 00:02:01.630 align:middle line:84% the same hands clearing away the tiny plastic cups. 00:02:01.630 --> 00:02:04.630 align:middle line:90% I tinker with my descriptions. 00:02:04.630 --> 00:02:09.490 align:middle line:84% If I need water, they bring me water, in slightly larger cups. 00:02:09.490 --> 00:02:12.640 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHTER] 00:02:12.640 --> 00:02:16.280 align:middle line:84% It's honestly, the best job I've ever had in my life. 00:02:16.280 --> 00:02:18.100 align:middle line:90% I wrote my poems. 00:02:18.100 --> 00:02:19.660 align:middle line:90% And they fed me dips. 00:02:19.660 --> 00:02:23.010 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHTER]