WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.550 align:middle line:90% 00:00:02.550 --> 00:00:04.140 align:middle line:90% It's a happy book. 00:00:04.140 --> 00:00:07.067 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHTER] 00:00:07.067 --> 00:00:08.380 align:middle line:90% 00:00:08.380 --> 00:00:09.363 align:middle line:90% In a real way-- 00:00:09.363 --> 00:00:10.780 align:middle line:84% I mean, you look at the two covers 00:00:10.780 --> 00:00:12.580 align:middle line:84% and it shows a trajectory, doesn't it? 00:00:12.580 --> 00:00:14.620 align:middle line:84% I mean, here's a pretty dark book. 00:00:14.620 --> 00:00:17.380 align:middle line:90% And this is like gray. 00:00:17.380 --> 00:00:19.000 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHTER] 00:00:19.000 --> 00:00:22.300 align:middle line:84% That's where I'm moving in my work. 00:00:22.300 --> 00:00:25.480 align:middle line:84% This book is grim, but it is a pretty accurate representation 00:00:25.480 --> 00:00:26.970 align:middle line:90% of how I grew up. 00:00:26.970 --> 00:00:31.300 align:middle line:84% I was raised in some pretty intense neighborhoods 00:00:31.300 --> 00:00:33.257 align:middle line:84% in Massachusetts and Connecticut. 00:00:33.257 --> 00:00:34.840 align:middle line:84% And it's funny when you talk to people 00:00:34.840 --> 00:00:36.445 align:middle line:84% from outside of New England, you say, 00:00:36.445 --> 00:00:37.570 align:middle line:90% I grew up in Massachusetts. 00:00:37.570 --> 00:00:40.660 align:middle line:84% And they think like, mm-hmm, you grew up in Massachusetts-- 00:00:40.660 --> 00:00:42.280 align:middle line:84% like you went to Choate or something. 00:00:42.280 --> 00:00:43.613 align:middle line:90% Do you even know what that is? 00:00:43.613 --> 00:00:45.280 align:middle line:84% I was like, yeah, OK, right, yeah, yeah. 00:00:45.280 --> 00:00:48.670 align:middle line:90% And I'm like, no, not really. 00:00:48.670 --> 00:00:51.950 align:middle line:84% I taught this class in that room up there yesterday, 00:00:51.950 --> 00:00:53.500 align:middle line:90% which was such a gift. 00:00:53.500 --> 00:00:56.050 align:middle line:84% The students were really talented and really present. 00:00:56.050 --> 00:00:57.550 align:middle line:84% And I was teaching about something 00:00:57.550 --> 00:00:59.980 align:middle line:90% I'd never really taught before. 00:00:59.980 --> 00:01:03.770 align:middle line:84% And afterward, one of the students stayed after and said, 00:01:03.770 --> 00:01:06.380 align:middle line:84% this poem from your first book really meant something to me. 00:01:06.380 --> 00:01:08.700 align:middle line:84% And so I said, well, OK, I'll read it. 00:01:08.700 --> 00:01:10.070 align:middle line:90% I'll read it at the reading. 00:01:10.070 --> 00:01:12.140 align:middle line:90% I'm not even sure if she's here. 00:01:12.140 --> 00:01:12.920 align:middle line:90% Is Helen here? 00:01:12.920 --> 00:01:13.940 align:middle line:90% Maybe not. 00:01:13.940 --> 00:01:17.510 align:middle line:84% Anyway, Helen, if you see this on YouTube, this is for you. 00:01:17.510 --> 00:01:20.390 align:middle line:90% Also, shout out to Eric, my guy. 00:01:20.390 --> 00:01:22.700 align:middle line:84% I played some-- I'd had a bike ride today, 00:01:22.700 --> 00:01:24.440 align:middle line:90% and I played some disk golf. 00:01:24.440 --> 00:01:25.550 align:middle line:90% Do you know what that is? 00:01:25.550 --> 00:01:26.670 align:middle line:90% Yeah. 00:01:26.670 --> 00:01:27.170 align:middle line:90% OK. 00:01:27.170 --> 00:01:30.800 align:middle line:84% And I met Eric on the course, and I bullied him into coming. 00:01:30.800 --> 00:01:32.510 align:middle line:90% And he came, my guy. 00:01:32.510 --> 00:01:33.560 align:middle line:90% Thanks for being here. 00:01:33.560 --> 00:01:35.450 align:middle line:90% Yeah, Eric. 00:01:35.450 --> 00:01:37.070 align:middle line:90% Yeah. 00:01:37.070 --> 00:01:38.630 align:middle line:90% Graduating, right, a senior? 00:01:38.630 --> 00:01:39.590 align:middle line:90% Graduating. 00:01:39.590 --> 00:01:42.230 align:middle line:90% Yeah, yeah, congrats man. 00:01:42.230 --> 00:01:44.040 align:middle line:84% Aerospace engineering, is that right? 00:01:44.040 --> 00:01:44.540 align:middle line:90% Yeah. 00:01:44.540 --> 00:01:45.110 align:middle line:90% Wow. 00:01:45.110 --> 00:01:45.610 align:middle line:90% OK. 00:01:45.610 --> 00:01:47.390 align:middle line:90% Cool. 00:01:47.390 --> 00:01:51.000 align:middle line:84% Anyway, this poem is called "Graduation." 00:01:51.000 --> 00:01:54.550 align:middle line:84% I'll tell you this, but I don't usually say this. 00:01:54.550 --> 00:01:57.240 align:middle line:84% It was actually-- it wasn't graduation, my real life. 00:01:57.240 --> 00:01:58.730 align:middle line:90% Sometimes, I change details. 00:01:58.730 --> 00:02:01.030 align:middle line:84% This was my Eagle Scout ceremony. 00:02:01.030 --> 00:02:02.410 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHTER] 00:02:02.410 --> 00:02:06.340 align:middle line:84% But it's too embarrassing to admit that, so I don't. 00:02:06.340 --> 00:02:09.160 align:middle line:84% In the poem, I just pretend it's my high school graduation. 00:02:09.160 --> 00:02:12.100 align:middle line:90% Anyway, "Graduation." 00:02:12.100 --> 00:02:14.650 align:middle line:84% When you showed up drunk as hell, 00:02:14.650 --> 00:02:17.350 align:middle line:84% humming tunelessly to yourself, and slumped 00:02:17.350 --> 00:02:21.270 align:middle line:84% against the auditorium's faux wood paneling. 00:02:21.270 --> 00:02:23.570 align:middle line:84% When you fumbled in the pockets of your coat, 00:02:23.570 --> 00:02:27.020 align:middle line:84% fished out a cigarette, brought it to your lips. 00:02:27.020 --> 00:02:30.590 align:middle line:84% Then realizing for the first time where you were, tossed it 00:02:30.590 --> 00:02:33.770 align:middle line:84% away and said, fuck it, loud enough that everyone 00:02:33.770 --> 00:02:35.090 align:middle line:90% turned in their seats. 00:02:35.090 --> 00:02:39.060 align:middle line:84% And a friend elbowed me and asked if I knew you. 00:02:39.060 --> 00:02:42.360 align:middle line:84% I shook my head and spent the next hour 00:02:42.360 --> 00:02:46.150 align:middle line:84% wondering why I was so glad you came. 00:02:46.150 --> 00:02:49.960 align:middle line:84% You who slept each night in your battered van, who 00:02:49.960 --> 00:02:52.540 align:middle line:84% skipped meetings and lied to your sponsor, who 00:02:52.540 --> 00:02:55.420 align:middle line:84% still called your ex-wife every day, restraining order 00:02:55.420 --> 00:02:57.010 align:middle line:90% be damned. 00:02:57.010 --> 00:02:59.170 align:middle line:84% You shouldn't have been there either. 00:02:59.170 --> 00:03:01.450 align:middle line:84% 100 yards was the agreement after you 00:03:01.450 --> 00:03:04.240 align:middle line:84% gathered all the meds in the house into a shoe box 00:03:04.240 --> 00:03:06.430 align:middle line:90% and threatened to take them. 00:03:06.430 --> 00:03:08.350 align:middle line:90% You would come regardless. 00:03:08.350 --> 00:03:09.970 align:middle line:90% You were there. 00:03:09.970 --> 00:03:12.250 align:middle line:90% And I was there. 00:03:12.250 --> 00:03:14.670 align:middle line:84% And when I walked the stage, you hollered my name 00:03:14.670 --> 00:03:18.450 align:middle line:84% with a kind of wild conviction, then said a second time, 00:03:18.450 --> 00:03:20.190 align:middle line:90% less convinced. 00:03:20.190 --> 00:03:23.160 align:middle line:84% And I thought of that night, when the cops came, 00:03:23.160 --> 00:03:26.490 align:middle line:84% and you, unashamed of the fuss you caused, 00:03:26.490 --> 00:03:30.240 align:middle line:84% of your desperate public struggle for happiness, 00:03:30.240 --> 00:03:37.100 align:middle line:84% kissed me on the head once, twice, and went quietly. 00:03:37.100 --> 00:03:40.000 align:middle line:90%