WEBVTT

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I want to read from a novel that
will be published next month

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entitled The Terrible Threes,
a sequel to The Terrible Twos.

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It gets worse.

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[LAUGHTER]

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And by the time I write
The Terrible Fours,

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it's going to be in
a state of collapse.

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Anyway, I use my Afro-Native
American heritage,

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and I have animal
characters in this novel.

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And I start-- I thought it
was appropriate to begin

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the novel with a quote
from Johnny Carson.

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And he says--

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[LAUGHTER]

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You know, I'm not a
modernist, so you won't

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find me quoting Saint Paul--

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[LAUGHTER]

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Or Saint Augustine,
or Pascal, or Kafka.

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OK, John Johnny Carson
said, "When turkeys mate,

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they think of swans."

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[LAUGHTER]

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This-- I want to give
you a little background

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on this novel.

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I have to--

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I asked somebody to-- somebody
said, how does the first--

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give me a plot [INAUDIBLE].

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She said, I'll go
read Terrible Twos.

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OK, in Terrible Twos-- it's
been three years since Christmas

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of The Terrible Twos,
a Christmas which

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saw amazing events transpire
in the White House of Dean

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Clift, a former
fashion model who

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rose from Congress
into Vice President,

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and then to the presidency,
after the death of General

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Walter Scott, a
hero of Dominica.

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And they went into
Dominica, invaded Dominica,

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and found that there
was only one communist.

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And he was sort of
like a CIA plant.

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[LAUGHTER]

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They filmed the whole thing
in Marin County, anyway.

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Dean Clift was a
hands-off president

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who didn't know and
didn't care to know

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about the activities of his
advisors, Admiral Matthews, Bob

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Krantz, Vice President Hatch,
Jesse Hatch, and Reverend

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Clement Jones, the
administration's

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spiritual advisor.

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Clift changed, however,
after his wife, Elizabeth,

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the first lady, was electrocuted
while lighting the White House

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Christmas tree, and was
visited by Saint Nicholas, who

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reveals to him the
fate of former leaders

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who made terrible
and tragic mistakes.

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Nicholas, out to remove
his Protestant image

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as a buffoon in a
red suit, also warns

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Clift of a covert operation
developed by Krantz, Jones,

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and Matthews code
named Two Birds, a plan

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to rid America of surplus
people and an African country's

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possession of nuclear
weapons at the same time.

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Nobody believes Dean
Clift when he discusses

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his vision for a nation--
well, he goes on television,

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tells everybody, saying
Santa Claus told them

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that this operation
was going on.

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So they invoke
the 25th Amendment

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regarding presidential
disability

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to remove him from office
to a private sanatorium

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about 50 miles from Washington.

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And then I introduce a character
named Black Peter, which

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if you're German or if you're
of northern European ancestry

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in Europe, this Nicholas is
accompanied by a companion

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named Black Peter.

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I saw this ceremony
in Amsterdam,

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and Nicholas rides a white horse
and Black Peter rides a sports

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car behind him.

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[LAUGHTER]

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And he's the one who
passes out the gifts,

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and he's the one that also
goes on a chimney, wouldn't you

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know--

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does all the dirty work.

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So I introduce Black Peter
into the American Christmas

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through this novel.

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Former university
professor-- former president

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of the University
of California named

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Charles Jones, who wrote the
definitive book on Nicholas,

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said the reason
that you don't find

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Black Peter in the Nicholas
or the American Christmas

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is because he couldn't
get hotel reservations.

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[LAUGHTER]

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I'll do the best I can, pal.

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Black Peter learns,
though, the--

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so there's an
imposter Black Peter.

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And he comes-- the
real Black Peter

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emerges from an island
of Guinea, an island

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beneath the Caribbean
Ocean, to challenge

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this other Peter, who's been
living underground in Manhattan

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since the riot that happened
during a Christmas party

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at Madison Square Garden,
which is precipitated

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by Jack Frost and his goons.

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Jack Frost makes-- works for
the toy manufacturers, Christmas

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card merchants.

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OK.

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Nance Saturday, a wannabe
detective-- and it

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goes on and on.

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I'll just read from
the first chapter here,

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and this is from
The Terrible Threes.

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And the character here
is Nance Saturday, who's

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an incompetent
detective, doesn't solve

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the case in The Terrible Twos.

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As a matter of fact, one of
my friends, a feminist critic,

00:04:06.530 --> 00:04:08.920 align:middle line:84%
said this character-- what
kind of detective is this?

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The clues are always
getting ahead of him.

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So in this novel, I had the
clues getting ahead of him.

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I've learned from critics.

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And it says--

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OK, I'll go on with--

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I'll read some of this.

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"Nance Saturday
agreed with Genesis,

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where it said that man
should not be alone.

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He spent a lot of
time interacting

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with his electronic playmates.

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He's watching his
ex-wife's show.

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She's interviewing a woman
whose hairstyle resemble that

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of a baby chick's.

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And she says,
'Thanksgiving is just

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an excuse for all
the misogynists

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and female fools in the country
to keep women over a hot stove.

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And in the shopping
aisles, searching

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for bargains on turkey,
the American men

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are fully capable of obtaining
their own cranberry sauce.

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Most of them don't know
how to carve a turkey,

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and so the woman must
also perform this chore.

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And so when people wish
me a happy Thanksgiving,

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under the circumstances, I
wonder what there is to be

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so thankful about.'

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She's wearing a
white shirt, buttoned

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at the collar, tight, shiny
black pants, no socks,

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and black shoes.

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She folded her arms
and crossed her legs.

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She then lit a cigarette.

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'I agree with you,
Becky,' Virginia said.

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'My ex-husband didn't even earn
enough money to buy a turkey.

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He was always doing odd jobs.

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I paid his way through
a year in law school,

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but then he dropped out.

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But now I found a man who really
knows how to carve the turkey.

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He's sensitive.

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He's considerate.

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And he's 10 years
younger than I am.'

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[LAUGHTER]

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Nance got up and turn
off the television set.

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To think that he spent
those years sleeping

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next to a woman who will
later tell all their secrets

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to a nationwide audience.

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Her ratings were as high as
those of her only rival, Oprah

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Hippo--

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[LAUGHTER]

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Who had to be moved into
the studio for appearances

00:05:46.210 --> 00:05:47.740 align:middle line:90%
on a network by piano movers.

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[LAUGHTER]

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He switched-- That one'll
make me friends, right?

00:05:51.290 --> 00:05:53.388 align:middle line:90%
He switched to another channel.

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An Asian-American man
was speaking heatedly

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to an Asian-American woman.

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The man was furious.

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The camera kept cutting
away to the audience

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of mostly women, who were
giving the man a cool response.

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The woman calmly sat
in a chair, ignoring

00:06:03.550 --> 00:06:05.425 align:middle line:90%
her debating opponent's fury.

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She was wearing a black
suit and a man's tie.

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The moderator ask
her a question.

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Nance turned up the audio.

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And she says, 'I think Mr.
Hamimoto's arguments are

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absurd.

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To suggest that the
American government owes

00:06:15.113 --> 00:06:17.800 align:middle line:84%
the Japanese-American
community reparations--

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as usual, Mr. Hamimoto
ignores the facts.

00:06:21.310 --> 00:06:22.510 align:middle line:90%
He speaks of internment.'

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Identification came
on the screen--

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Beechiko Mizuni.

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This a Japanese
woman who wanders

00:06:27.280 --> 00:06:30.116 align:middle line:84%
through the novel searching
for the great blonde wig.

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[LAUGHTER]

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Beechiko: 'He fails to
distinguish between internment

00:06:34.540 --> 00:06:36.557 align:middle line:90%
and relocation.

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Only a few thousand
Japanese-Americans

00:06:38.140 --> 00:06:39.105 align:middle line:84%
were actually
interned, but speaking

00:06:39.105 --> 00:06:41.710 align:middle line:84%
of the larger question, which
was the worse, the relocation

00:06:41.710 --> 00:06:42.310 align:middle line:90%
and the internment?

00:06:42.310 --> 00:06:44.643 align:middle line:84%
I say that the United States
did Japanese-American women

00:06:44.643 --> 00:06:45.577 align:middle line:90%
a great favor.

00:06:45.577 --> 00:06:48.160 align:middle line:84%
They remove them from homes in
which they are being brutalized

00:06:48.160 --> 00:06:51.520 align:middle line:84%
by Japanese-American men,
a far greater imprisonment,

00:06:51.520 --> 00:06:53.500 align:middle line:84%
next to which relocation
or internment were

00:06:53.500 --> 00:06:54.710 align:middle line:90%
minor inconveniences.

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So instead of receiving $20,000,
Japanese-Americans should be

00:06:58.360 --> 00:07:00.593 align:middle line:84%
donating that amount to
our generous government.'

00:07:00.593 --> 00:07:02.260 align:middle line:84%
The audience erupted
into wild applause.

00:07:02.260 --> 00:07:04.677 align:middle line:84%
The camera cut to the man, who
was shaking his head sadly.

00:07:04.677 --> 00:07:06.400 align:middle line:84%
Nance didn't care
about the battle

00:07:06.400 --> 00:07:09.910 align:middle line:84%
between the sexes that has
spilled over from the '80s

00:07:09.910 --> 00:07:11.290 align:middle line:90%
into the '90s.

00:07:11.290 --> 00:07:14.900 align:middle line:84%
As far as he was concerned,
he was AWOL from the war.

00:07:14.900 --> 00:07:18.610 align:middle line:84%
He was keeping his to himself
and not sticking it nowhere.

00:07:18.610 --> 00:07:22.000 align:middle line:84%
The mysterious black Russian
he'd been seeing since he

00:07:22.000 --> 00:07:24.038 align:middle line:84%
and Virginia separated
had also left.

00:07:24.038 --> 00:07:26.080 align:middle line:84%
He remembered the last
night of their lovemaking.

00:07:26.080 --> 00:07:28.455 align:middle line:84%
She yelled out something that
sounded like [? yabatza, ?]

00:07:28.455 --> 00:07:32.403 align:middle line:84%
[? yabatza. ?] He was
on her like a coyote--

00:07:32.403 --> 00:07:34.570 align:middle line:84%
he was on her like a coyote
on a chicken that night.

00:07:34.570 --> 00:07:35.320 align:middle line:90%
Limbs were flying.

00:07:35.320 --> 00:07:36.207 align:middle line:90%
[LAUGHTER]

00:07:36.207 --> 00:07:38.290 align:middle line:84%
And the heels of her feet
were facing the ceiling.

00:07:38.290 --> 00:07:39.850 align:middle line:84%
Their buttocks are
rolling, gyrating.

00:07:39.850 --> 00:07:42.130 align:middle line:84%
At one point, when their rhythm
was perfectly synchronized,

00:07:42.130 --> 00:07:44.320 align:middle line:84%
he gave a nasty shift, like
the pot-bellied flamenco

00:07:44.320 --> 00:07:46.150 align:middle line:90%
dancer he'd once seen do.

00:07:46.150 --> 00:07:48.820 align:middle line:84%
And she shrieked
like someone who'd

00:07:48.820 --> 00:07:51.190 align:middle line:84%
walked into the kitchen in
Florida on Sunday morning

00:07:51.190 --> 00:07:52.870 align:middle line:84%
and found an alligator
on the floor."

00:07:52.870 --> 00:07:54.040 align:middle line:90%
It's my tribute to Faulkner.

00:07:54.040 --> 00:07:57.560 align:middle line:90%
He has long similes, you know?

00:07:57.560 --> 00:07:58.780 align:middle line:90%
It's pretty good modernism.

00:07:58.780 --> 00:08:00.630 align:middle line:90%
I'm not against them.

00:08:00.630 --> 00:08:03.520 align:middle line:84%
"The cognac-- there were
lots of French kisses

00:08:03.520 --> 00:08:04.600 align:middle line:90%
and Russian fingers.

00:08:04.600 --> 00:08:06.100 align:middle line:84%
The cognac had
spilled on the floor.

00:08:06.100 --> 00:08:07.630 align:middle line:84%
They were so weak
that they almost

00:08:07.630 --> 00:08:09.820 align:middle line:84%
missed a Soviet airliner
that was to return her

00:08:09.820 --> 00:08:11.110 align:middle line:90%
to a family in Kiev.

00:08:11.110 --> 00:08:13.600 align:middle line:84%
She was wearing a black dress
decorated red roses, black

00:08:13.600 --> 00:08:15.830 align:middle line:84%
'40s hat, and she'd
carried a black handbag.

00:08:15.830 --> 00:08:18.190 align:middle line:84%
Their sporadic
lovemaking had become

00:08:18.190 --> 00:08:19.990 align:middle line:84%
victim of yet another
liberalizing trend

00:08:19.990 --> 00:08:21.910 align:middle line:84%
in Russian politics,
the 1980s trend

00:08:21.910 --> 00:08:23.950 align:middle line:84%
having been ruthlessly
repressed towards the end

00:08:23.950 --> 00:08:25.480 align:middle line:90%
of the decade"-- profit, right?

00:08:25.480 --> 00:08:27.760 align:middle line:84%
"She was out with her
relatives because she

00:08:27.760 --> 00:08:29.320 align:middle line:84%
wanted to claim her
Tartar heritage,

00:08:29.320 --> 00:08:31.540 align:middle line:84%
while they wanted to be
thought of as European.

00:08:31.540 --> 00:08:33.789 align:middle line:84%
A friend of the family,
who had dinner with them,

00:08:33.789 --> 00:08:35.440 align:middle line:84%
drank all the Stoli
they'd ordered,

00:08:35.440 --> 00:08:36.815 align:middle line:84%
ate the red cabbage
and sturgeon,

00:08:36.815 --> 00:08:39.700 align:middle line:84%
had returned to Kiev to tell
her family that she had a lover.

00:08:39.700 --> 00:08:41.110 align:middle line:84%
They were very
provincial people,

00:08:41.110 --> 00:08:42.730 align:middle line:84%
commented on books
they hadn't read

00:08:42.730 --> 00:08:44.963 align:middle line:84%
and performances
they hadn't seen.

00:08:44.963 --> 00:08:46.630 align:middle line:84%
He thought he remembered
her telling him

00:08:46.630 --> 00:08:48.525 align:middle line:90%
that they were mathematicians.

00:08:48.525 --> 00:08:50.400 align:middle line:84%
They had a dacha,
housekeeper and a chauffeur

00:08:50.400 --> 00:08:51.640 align:middle line:90%
and didn't want to blow it.

00:08:51.640 --> 00:08:53.020 align:middle line:84%
He didn't seem to get
along with the parents

00:08:53.020 --> 00:08:53.967 align:middle line:90%
of the women he dated.

00:08:53.967 --> 00:08:55.300 align:middle line:90%
Virginia's mother took the cake.

00:08:55.300 --> 00:08:58.150 align:middle line:84%
Virginia said it wasn't til she
was 35 that her mother stopped

00:08:58.150 --> 00:09:00.100 align:middle line:90%
beating her with an iron cord.

00:09:00.100 --> 00:09:02.980 align:middle line:84%
When her relatives visited
them when they were married,

00:09:02.980 --> 00:09:05.837 align:middle line:84%
he always wondered why they
kept on that trench coats.

00:09:05.837 --> 00:09:07.420 align:middle line:84%
One night, he awoke
and found that she

00:09:07.420 --> 00:09:09.070 align:middle line:90%
wasn't sleeping beside him.

00:09:09.070 --> 00:09:10.750 align:middle line:84%
He drove to the motel
where her family

00:09:10.750 --> 00:09:13.180 align:middle line:84%
was staying and peeked into
the window of the suite

00:09:13.180 --> 00:09:14.350 align:middle line:90%
they'd rented.

00:09:14.350 --> 00:09:16.870 align:middle line:84%
Some of his personal
items lay on the table.

00:09:16.870 --> 00:09:21.010 align:middle line:84%
And her sister, the one with
the slow rate of metabolism,

00:09:21.010 --> 00:09:22.930 align:middle line:84%
was plucking a long
strand of the Russian's

00:09:22.930 --> 00:09:25.420 align:middle line:84%
lady's coarse black hair
from one of his shirts

00:09:25.420 --> 00:09:27.400 align:middle line:90%
marked exhibit A.

00:09:27.400 --> 00:09:28.850 align:middle line:90%
Virginia was crying.

00:09:28.850 --> 00:09:30.940 align:middle line:84%
They seem to be building
up a case against him.

00:09:30.940 --> 00:09:32.710 align:middle line:84%
That wasn't the only
cause, but he remembered,

00:09:32.710 --> 00:09:34.168 align:middle line:84%
in the series of
arguments they had

00:09:34.168 --> 00:09:36.880 align:middle line:84%
before they broke-- broken
up, he said that she was still

00:09:36.880 --> 00:09:38.290 align:middle line:90%
shackled by her family.

00:09:38.290 --> 00:09:40.240 align:middle line:84%
He dated a series of
European-American women,

00:09:40.240 --> 00:09:41.740 align:middle line:84%
ranging from the
California beauties

00:09:41.740 --> 00:09:44.410 align:middle line:84%
you see modeling in bikinis in
Sports Illustrated, Herb Gold's

00:09:44.410 --> 00:09:46.840 align:middle line:84%
favorites, to the
black-haired arty types

00:09:46.840 --> 00:09:49.270 align:middle line:84%
who listen to Laurie Anderson
and were into [INAUDIBLE]..

00:09:49.270 --> 00:09:51.400 align:middle line:84%
Virginia and her friends were
right about European-American

00:09:51.400 --> 00:09:51.900 align:middle line:90%
women.

00:09:51.900 --> 00:09:54.060 align:middle line:84%
They spent a lot of
time tossing their hair.

00:09:54.060 --> 00:09:54.880 align:middle line:90%
[LAUGHTER]

00:09:54.880 --> 00:09:57.970 align:middle line:84%
While vacationing
in the Caribbean,

00:09:57.970 --> 00:10:00.610 align:middle line:84%
he visited a museum where
he came upon a painting

00:10:00.610 --> 00:10:01.992 align:middle line:90%
of ancient Carib woman.

00:10:01.992 --> 00:10:04.450 align:middle line:84%
The lust in her eyes as she
stared at a pig was immaculate.

00:10:04.450 --> 00:10:06.652 align:middle line:84%
He fell in love with her
fat lips and shiny hair.

00:10:06.652 --> 00:10:08.110 align:middle line:84%
She had small
breasts, and her legs

00:10:08.110 --> 00:10:10.840 align:middle line:84%
looked as though she spent a lot
of time running out of craters.

00:10:10.840 --> 00:10:13.012 align:middle line:84%
Another painting showed
her spearing a wild boar.

00:10:13.012 --> 00:10:14.470 align:middle line:84%
Coincidentally, he
ran into a woman

00:10:14.470 --> 00:10:16.090 align:middle line:84%
who looked just like her at a
gallery opening on the Lower

00:10:16.090 --> 00:10:16.870 align:middle line:90%
East Side.

00:10:16.870 --> 00:10:18.760 align:middle line:84%
She said that she was
from Philipichino,

00:10:18.760 --> 00:10:20.410 align:middle line:84%
or from a small
island in the Pacific

00:10:20.410 --> 00:10:21.730 align:middle line:90%
called the Philiphichines.

00:10:21.730 --> 00:10:23.200 align:middle line:84%
They began to date,
and for a while

00:10:23.200 --> 00:10:25.300 align:middle line:84%
they were as happy as
two sailors dancing

00:10:25.300 --> 00:10:26.815 align:middle line:90%
in a movie with Ann Miller.

00:10:26.815 --> 00:10:28.990 align:middle line:90%
[LAUGHTER]

00:10:28.990 --> 00:10:30.670 align:middle line:90%
Her mother found out about it.

00:10:30.670 --> 00:10:32.800 align:middle line:84%
She began to send
strange envelopes to him.

00:10:32.800 --> 00:10:35.525 align:middle line:84%
Some were filled
with parts of birds.

00:10:35.525 --> 00:10:37.150 align:middle line:84%
In a large envelope
covered with stamps

00:10:37.150 --> 00:10:38.800 align:middle line:84%
with pictures of men wearing
the kind of hairstyles

00:10:38.800 --> 00:10:40.342 align:middle line:84%
that influenced the
punkers, he found

00:10:40.342 --> 00:10:42.125 align:middle line:90%
the ear of a large rabbit.

00:10:42.125 --> 00:10:44.500 align:middle line:84%
He told her about it, and she
said that her mother always

00:10:44.500 --> 00:10:46.390 align:middle line:84%
sent horrible
material to her lovers

00:10:46.390 --> 00:10:49.665 align:middle line:84%
and that her last boyfriend,
Richard, had disappeared.

00:10:49.665 --> 00:10:51.040 align:middle line:84%
One night, she
called to tell him

00:10:51.040 --> 00:10:52.990 align:middle line:84%
her mother had flown in from
the Philipichino Islands

00:10:52.990 --> 00:10:54.520 align:middle line:84%
and wanted to have
dinner with them.

00:10:54.520 --> 00:10:56.200 align:middle line:84%
That was fine with him,
because after dinner, maybe

00:10:56.200 --> 00:10:57.730 align:middle line:84%
they'd go to her apartment
and put on some Marvin Gaye

00:10:57.730 --> 00:10:58.240 align:middle line:90%
records.

00:10:58.240 --> 00:10:59.595 align:middle line:90%
[LAUGHTER]

00:10:59.595 --> 00:11:00.970 align:middle line:84%
Marvin Gaye would
have loved her,

00:11:00.970 --> 00:11:02.617 align:middle line:90%
because she was a real healer--

00:11:02.617 --> 00:11:06.890 align:middle line:90%
[LAUGHTER]

00:11:06.890 --> 00:11:10.370 align:middle line:84%
What Martin Luther King, Jr.
Would've called a doctor"--

00:11:10.370 --> 00:11:11.466 align:middle line:90%
didn't get that one, huh?

00:11:11.466 --> 00:11:12.290 align:middle line:90%
[LAUGHTER]

00:11:12.290 --> 00:11:14.540 align:middle line:84%
"The kind that would have
sent JFK, with his bad back,

00:11:14.540 --> 00:11:16.365 align:middle line:90%
to a chiropractor.

00:11:16.365 --> 00:11:17.240 align:middle line:90%
She did all the work.

00:11:17.240 --> 00:11:18.290 align:middle line:90%
All you had to do was lay there.

00:11:18.290 --> 00:11:19.490 align:middle line:84%
She may not have been
the kind of woman

00:11:19.490 --> 00:11:20.960 align:middle line:84%
that you found behind
every great man,

00:11:20.960 --> 00:11:23.577 align:middle line:84%
but she certainly was next to
him in a variety of other ways.

00:11:23.577 --> 00:11:24.770 align:middle line:90%
[LAUGHTER]

00:11:24.770 --> 00:11:26.378 align:middle line:84%
At dinner, her mother
said that she--

00:11:26.378 --> 00:11:28.670 align:middle line:84%
at dinner, her mother said
that she didn't see anything

00:11:28.670 --> 00:11:31.130 align:middle line:84%
on the menu that appealed
to her and requested

00:11:31.130 --> 00:11:33.446 align:middle line:84%
that the waiter bring her
the names of the diners.

00:11:33.446 --> 00:11:36.962 align:middle line:90%
[LAUGHTER]

00:11:36.962 --> 00:11:38.670 align:middle line:84%
He didn't get the
import of this incident

00:11:38.670 --> 00:11:40.220 align:middle line:84%
until later, when his date
went to the ladies room

00:11:40.220 --> 00:11:42.470 align:middle line:84%
and he was left alone with
his mother-- her mother.

00:11:42.470 --> 00:11:43.850 align:middle line:84%
Her mother didn't say
anything but glared at him

00:11:43.850 --> 00:11:44.785 align:middle line:90%
for a long time.

00:11:44.785 --> 00:11:46.160 align:middle line:84%
This made him feel
uncomfortable,

00:11:46.160 --> 00:11:47.120 align:middle line:90%
and he shifted in his seat.

00:11:47.120 --> 00:11:48.980 align:middle line:84%
What was taking her daughter
so long in the bathroom?

00:11:48.980 --> 00:11:50.813 align:middle line:84%
Finally, her mother
pulled out a huge basket

00:11:50.813 --> 00:11:53.510 align:middle line:84%
made of straw with a ship design
on it and removed something.

00:11:53.510 --> 00:11:55.550 align:middle line:84%
It was a miniature
head, about the size

00:11:55.550 --> 00:11:59.480 align:middle line:84%
of a chestnut, an old
wrinkled chestnut or prune.

00:11:59.480 --> 00:12:01.460 align:middle line:90%
It was the head of a man.

00:12:01.460 --> 00:12:02.930 align:middle line:90%
'Richard?' he said weakly.

00:12:02.930 --> 00:12:04.411 align:middle line:90%
The old woman nodded.

00:12:04.411 --> 00:12:07.848 align:middle line:90%
[LAUGHTER]

00:12:07.848 --> 00:12:09.322 align:middle line:90%


00:12:09.322 --> 00:12:11.530 align:middle line:84%
He went out to the parking
lot and emptied his dinner

00:12:11.530 --> 00:12:12.604 align:middle line:90%
on the ground.

00:12:12.604 --> 00:12:14.380 align:middle line:90%
[LAUGHTER]

00:12:14.380 --> 00:12:16.960 align:middle line:90%
He never ate shrimp again.

00:12:16.960 --> 00:12:20.393 align:middle line:84%
That's when he entered
a new celibacy period.

00:12:20.393 --> 00:12:22.810 align:middle line:84%
Orifices of the '90s were like
those of the '80s, anyway--

00:12:22.810 --> 00:12:25.720 align:middle line:84%
they were covered with
do not enter signs.

00:12:25.720 --> 00:12:27.220 align:middle line:90%
No wonder Cuba was armed."

00:12:27.220 --> 00:12:27.790 align:middle line:90%
OK.

00:12:27.790 --> 00:12:30.670 align:middle line:84%
It goes on and on
like that-- on and on.

00:12:30.670 --> 00:12:34.320 align:middle line:90%
[APPLAUSE]

00:12:34.320 --> 00:12:36.000 align:middle line:90%