WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.130 align:middle line:90% 00:00:02.130 --> 00:00:03.090 align:middle line:90% This is the final poem. 00:00:03.090 --> 00:00:06.550 align:middle line:90% 00:00:06.550 --> 00:00:13.552 align:middle line:84% It's the title poem from the book Pittsburgh's doing now. 00:00:13.552 --> 00:00:14.760 align:middle line:90% I wrote this a few years ago. 00:00:14.760 --> 00:00:20.310 align:middle line:84% I remember I had it in a folder like for a year 00:00:20.310 --> 00:00:24.570 align:middle line:84% before I ever got really interested in what 00:00:24.570 --> 00:00:30.050 align:middle line:84% was the first draft and then held on to it since. 00:00:30.050 --> 00:00:33.690 align:middle line:90% 00:00:33.690 --> 00:00:37.470 align:middle line:90% Ruby for Grief. 00:00:37.470 --> 00:00:39.720 align:middle line:90% I tend to sit here very alone. 00:00:39.720 --> 00:00:42.780 align:middle line:84% Last night I asked a stranger if he 00:00:42.780 --> 00:00:46.590 align:middle line:84% wanted a rubber slapped across his face. 00:00:46.590 --> 00:00:49.800 align:middle line:84% This morning brought more or less more. 00:00:49.800 --> 00:00:51.990 align:middle line:84% I was whistling when I ran into someone 00:00:51.990 --> 00:00:54.810 align:middle line:84% I hadn't seen for a while, someone 00:00:54.810 --> 00:00:58.050 align:middle line:84% I would like to think of as a brief friend, 00:00:58.050 --> 00:01:02.670 align:middle line:84% and it seemed all the better because I was whistling. 00:01:02.670 --> 00:01:06.780 align:middle line:84% I'm fond of the bridges the sea makes in my mind, 00:01:06.780 --> 00:01:09.490 align:middle line:90% although far away. 00:01:09.490 --> 00:01:14.220 align:middle line:84% Even with a shallow life before this one or a life after, 00:01:14.220 --> 00:01:16.110 align:middle line:90% I know my life is short. 00:01:16.110 --> 00:01:18.450 align:middle line:90% Each is. 00:01:18.450 --> 00:01:24.150 align:middle line:84% The sea bridges such familiar territory the life makes. 00:01:24.150 --> 00:01:30.850 align:middle line:84% The sea measures such mending I make and gives it colors. 00:01:30.850 --> 00:01:34.620 align:middle line:84% Ruby for grief, yellow for choice, 00:01:34.620 --> 00:01:38.400 align:middle line:90% flint green for staying awake. 00:01:38.400 --> 00:01:40.500 align:middle line:84% One reason I live alone is the nature 00:01:40.500 --> 00:01:45.270 align:middle line:84% of the strangers who appear in my dreams now and then. 00:01:45.270 --> 00:01:49.980 align:middle line:84% I can make nothing of their life until they've made mine. 00:01:49.980 --> 00:01:54.270 align:middle line:84% I find their memories in water, winter birds dipping 00:01:54.270 --> 00:01:57.990 align:middle line:84% their heads at winter windows, and in the closest 00:01:57.990 --> 00:02:01.860 align:middle line:90% facts of walking the streets. 00:02:01.860 --> 00:02:03.870 align:middle line:84% The stranger last night angered me 00:02:03.870 --> 00:02:08.639 align:middle line:84% as he refused memory, distorting mine and his. 00:02:08.639 --> 00:02:13.170 align:middle line:84% He walked away under a few red lights until I shouted. 00:02:13.170 --> 00:02:17.520 align:middle line:84% Little generosity unless he gets away. 00:02:17.520 --> 00:02:19.980 align:middle line:90% I used to fly in my sleep. 00:02:19.980 --> 00:02:24.360 align:middle line:84% The sea often appeared, but these aspects of images 00:02:24.360 --> 00:02:27.210 align:middle line:90% have rather faded over time. 00:02:27.210 --> 00:02:30.030 align:middle line:90% I wish they'd come back. 00:02:30.030 --> 00:02:32.910 align:middle line:84% Water appears in simple settings. 00:02:32.910 --> 00:02:37.320 align:middle line:84% Basins, tubs, glasses, often it seems 00:02:37.320 --> 00:02:42.330 align:middle line:84% I'm thirsty in the dream just when a winter bird appears. 00:02:42.330 --> 00:02:45.930 align:middle line:84% The colors the sea has given me are constant. 00:02:45.930 --> 00:02:48.360 align:middle line:84% There's a kind of ruby girl who returns 00:02:48.360 --> 00:02:51.100 align:middle line:90% my face about once a month. 00:02:51.100 --> 00:02:53.580 align:middle line:90% Maybe her name is Ruby. 00:02:53.580 --> 00:02:56.820 align:middle line:84% My sister often turns up and is as close to me 00:02:56.820 --> 00:03:01.350 align:middle line:84% there as I want to think some future omen will be close to me 00:03:01.350 --> 00:03:03.360 align:middle line:90% someday. 00:03:03.360 --> 00:03:06.540 align:middle line:84% She is usually making choices for me, 00:03:06.540 --> 00:03:12.430 align:middle line:84% defending me, or walking from one quiet hut to another. 00:03:12.430 --> 00:03:15.930 align:middle line:84% My part in these dreams is to appear with a yellow stick, 00:03:15.930 --> 00:03:18.690 align:middle line:84% having made my choice, and then I 00:03:18.690 --> 00:03:23.100 align:middle line:84% make some private and selfish demand for secrecy, 00:03:23.100 --> 00:03:28.200 align:middle line:84% threatening anyone who appears with my yellow stick. 00:03:28.200 --> 00:03:30.600 align:middle line:84% The flint green for staying awake simply 00:03:30.600 --> 00:03:33.150 align:middle line:84% is the color of the water lapping, lapping 00:03:33.150 --> 00:03:38.520 align:middle line:84% under a few small bridges, the bridges in cities or towns 00:03:38.520 --> 00:03:40.770 align:middle line:90% where there are none. 00:03:40.770 --> 00:03:42.750 align:middle line:90% I don't like the slapping. 00:03:42.750 --> 00:03:46.110 align:middle line:84% It makes me feel my memory is an omen. 00:03:46.110 --> 00:03:49.020 align:middle line:84% Flint green makes me feel that if I 00:03:49.020 --> 00:03:52.380 align:middle line:84% got up and went walking I would find 00:03:52.380 --> 00:03:55.440 align:middle line:90% imaginary almonds everywhere. 00:03:55.440 --> 00:04:01.350 align:middle line:84% So I remain awake, talk out loud to myself, simple things. 00:04:01.350 --> 00:04:05.490 align:middle line:84% Ask myself for a match, wonder if someone out there 00:04:05.490 --> 00:04:07.770 align:middle line:90% will be walking by. 00:04:07.770 --> 00:04:10.140 align:middle line:90% If they were, would I see them? 00:04:10.140 --> 00:04:12.810 align:middle line:90% Would they want to come in? 00:04:12.810 --> 00:04:14.790 align:middle line:84% Sometimes I take this staying awake 00:04:14.790 --> 00:04:17.490 align:middle line:84% and try resolving details or themes. 00:04:17.490 --> 00:04:22.260 align:middle line:84% Like with questions, like those at the end of stories or poems 00:04:22.260 --> 00:04:24.510 align:middle line:90% in school texts. 00:04:24.510 --> 00:04:27.990 align:middle line:84% How are the three details of the story resolved? 00:04:27.990 --> 00:04:32.340 align:middle line:84% Is generosity so privately handled a good thing? 00:04:32.340 --> 00:04:35.010 align:middle line:84% What is the importance of Ruby's awkwardness when 00:04:35.010 --> 00:04:37.540 align:middle line:90% confronted with the stranger? 00:04:37.540 --> 00:04:40.620 align:middle line:84% Are almonds, which take the form of memories, 00:04:40.620 --> 00:04:43.840 align:middle line:90% immersed in water a good thing? 00:04:43.840 --> 00:04:47.490 align:middle line:84% Will the narrator ever fly again? 00:04:47.490 --> 00:04:52.710 align:middle line:84% I'm losing it when I begin these, so I go to the window. 00:04:52.710 --> 00:04:56.640 align:middle line:84% It would be nice if the window asked me back, turned back, 00:04:56.640 --> 00:04:59.400 align:middle line:90% helped itself to an attitude. 00:04:59.400 --> 00:05:02.400 align:middle line:84% God knows enough look in here during the day. 00:05:02.400 --> 00:05:04.980 align:middle line:90% I'm that close to the street. 00:05:04.980 --> 00:05:08.760 align:middle line:84% I could even step out, begin whistling again, 00:05:08.760 --> 00:05:13.890 align:middle line:84% ask someone if they want a rain check on coming over. 00:05:13.890 --> 00:05:17.310 align:middle line:84% I don't know just what I will do now. 00:05:17.310 --> 00:05:21.180 align:middle line:84% I might wash up, I might whistle to see 00:05:21.180 --> 00:05:25.200 align:middle line:84% if any winter birds fly nearer, try 00:05:25.200 --> 00:05:29.280 align:middle line:90% resolving almonds or themes. 00:05:29.280 --> 00:05:32.130 align:middle line:84% Isn't there some infinity to the generosity 00:05:32.130 --> 00:05:34.470 align:middle line:90% of trying to tell your story? 00:05:34.470 --> 00:05:37.350 align:middle line:84% Or better, isn't there some prior life 00:05:37.350 --> 00:05:40.230 align:middle line:90% to telling everything this way? 00:05:40.230 --> 00:05:43.200 align:middle line:84% Like secretly taking the smallest belonging 00:05:43.200 --> 00:05:48.930 align:middle line:84% from a passing stranger, opening it up under an open nightlight, 00:05:48.930 --> 00:05:52.770 align:middle line:84% the kind the night sky sometimes makes, 00:05:52.770 --> 00:05:57.810 align:middle line:84% and ordering this belonging, giving it an attitude or omen 00:05:57.810 --> 00:06:02.890 align:middle line:84% so some other truthful window might appear. 00:06:02.890 --> 00:06:03.840 align:middle line:90% Thank you very much. 00:06:03.840 --> 00:06:04.990 align:middle line:90% Thank you. 00:06:04.990 --> 00:06:08.340 align:middle line:90% [APPLAUSE] 00:06:08.340 --> 00:06:21.388 align:middle line:90%