WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:00.610 align:middle line:90% 00:00:00.610 --> 00:00:03.330 align:middle line:84% Some way I've organized this poem around-- 00:00:03.330 --> 00:00:05.250 align:middle line:84% this reading around my friendship with Steve 00:00:05.250 --> 00:00:07.050 align:middle line:84% subliminally without thinking about it. 00:00:07.050 --> 00:00:11.280 align:middle line:84% The next poem that I want to read is an odd poem. 00:00:11.280 --> 00:00:12.700 align:middle line:90% I can't read it correctly. 00:00:12.700 --> 00:00:16.775 align:middle line:84% It's written in fake old English, 00:00:16.775 --> 00:00:18.150 align:middle line:84% so you're going to have to put up 00:00:18.150 --> 00:00:20.730 align:middle line:84% with the bad reading that's going to sound like third rate 00:00:20.730 --> 00:00:21.330 align:middle line:90% Robert Burns. 00:00:21.330 --> 00:00:24.000 align:middle line:90% 00:00:24.000 --> 00:00:25.700 align:middle line:90% During one year about-- 00:00:25.700 --> 00:00:27.450 align:middle line:84% oh, it must be six or seven years ago now. 00:00:27.450 --> 00:00:31.920 align:middle line:84% Steve and Gail and my wife and I all lived in the same house. 00:00:31.920 --> 00:00:33.690 align:middle line:84% We have a large German shepherd dog 00:00:33.690 --> 00:00:35.773 align:middle line:84% who was very skinny at that time and barely eight. 00:00:35.773 --> 00:00:42.240 align:middle line:84% And Steve had an enormous Labrador named Tooley, 00:00:42.240 --> 00:00:44.490 align:middle line:90% and the dogs were great friends. 00:00:44.490 --> 00:00:50.270 align:middle line:84% And we had to find a house very quickly. 00:00:50.270 --> 00:00:53.247 align:middle line:84% We found a house in a fairly middle class suburb, where 00:00:53.247 --> 00:00:55.580 align:middle line:84% we were the only people around with long hair and things 00:00:55.580 --> 00:00:56.360 align:middle line:90% like that. 00:00:56.360 --> 00:00:58.160 align:middle line:84% And our dogs didn't help matters at all. 00:00:58.160 --> 00:00:59.180 align:middle line:90% They kept escaping. 00:00:59.180 --> 00:01:02.480 align:middle line:84% Steve had built a little fence around the yard that we had, 00:01:02.480 --> 00:01:05.000 align:middle line:84% and the dogs would do things like-- 00:01:05.000 --> 00:01:09.350 align:middle line:84% oh, one time they began digging a hole 00:01:09.350 --> 00:01:10.808 align:middle line:84% to try and get out under the fence, 00:01:10.808 --> 00:01:12.017 align:middle line:90% and they were smart about it. 00:01:12.017 --> 00:01:14.690 align:middle line:84% We'd go out in the yard, and one of them would lie in the hole 00:01:14.690 --> 00:01:18.800 align:middle line:84% so that we wouldn't be able to see it, they thought. 00:01:18.800 --> 00:01:23.600 align:middle line:84% But they erred in that they dug the hole parallel to the fence 00:01:23.600 --> 00:01:25.220 align:middle line:84% instead of digging it under the fence. 00:01:25.220 --> 00:01:28.610 align:middle line:90% 00:01:28.610 --> 00:01:32.287 align:middle line:84% So one day a friend came, dug them out from the other side, 00:01:32.287 --> 00:01:34.370 align:middle line:84% and they escaped into the neighborhood, where they 00:01:34.370 --> 00:01:35.720 align:middle line:90% were gone for a couple of days. 00:01:35.720 --> 00:01:37.970 align:middle line:84% We kept getting calls from a thing called the Nuisance 00:01:37.970 --> 00:01:38.930 align:middle line:90% Abatement Bureau. 00:01:38.930 --> 00:01:42.360 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHTER] 00:01:42.360 --> 00:01:45.300 align:middle line:90% 00:01:45.300 --> 00:01:47.010 align:middle line:90% This is about that. 00:01:47.010 --> 00:01:50.850 align:middle line:84% It's called "Ye Brothers Dogg," for my dog Hodain D. Dogg 00:01:50.850 --> 00:01:51.750 align:middle line:90% and for Tooley Orlen. 00:01:51.750 --> 00:01:55.270 align:middle line:90% 00:01:55.270 --> 00:01:59.440 align:middle line:84% Ye dog, O'Toole, who has no work at love nor art, 00:01:59.440 --> 00:02:02.230 align:middle line:84% nor goeth school, sayeth with fart 00:02:02.230 --> 00:02:05.860 align:middle line:84% that Golden Rule, be it bitch, or biscuit, 00:02:05.860 --> 00:02:10.720 align:middle line:84% or platter stew, your palate alone shall guide you. 00:02:10.720 --> 00:02:15.520 align:middle line:84% Ye dog Hodain forgoeth bone, nor does disdain to moan. 00:02:15.520 --> 00:02:18.700 align:middle line:84% For wind and rain, you snow and fog. 00:02:18.700 --> 00:02:22.960 align:middle line:84% Your seasoned sun and world roll on, but your day as a dog 00:02:22.960 --> 00:02:25.540 align:middle line:90% be not long. 00:02:25.540 --> 00:02:28.990 align:middle line:84% Brothers two, you slim Hodain and fat O'Toole, 00:02:28.990 --> 00:02:31.750 align:middle line:90% beneath fence diggeth hole. 00:02:31.750 --> 00:02:33.880 align:middle line:84% Into the world, your brother's debts. 00:02:33.880 --> 00:02:38.190 align:middle line:84% No would return your fat O'Toole and slim Hodain. 00:02:38.190 --> 00:02:42.130 align:middle line:84% Soon his report, brothers two doth run amok in neighborhood. 00:02:42.130 --> 00:02:44.985 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHTER] 00:02:44.985 --> 00:02:47.910 align:middle line:90% 00:02:47.910 --> 00:02:51.120 align:middle line:84% Cautions O'Toole, Hodain, you may bark, 00:02:51.120 --> 00:02:53.850 align:middle line:84% may scowl, and be rude, but do not 00:02:53.850 --> 00:02:56.085 align:middle line:84% bite your hand which giveth dog food. 00:02:56.085 --> 00:02:58.020 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHTER] 00:02:58.020 --> 00:02:59.880 align:middle line:84% They'll all complain of brothers too. 00:02:59.880 --> 00:03:03.030 align:middle line:84% No wind or rain does drive them home. 00:03:03.030 --> 00:03:06.210 align:middle line:84% Thou sayeth Hodain to brother O'Toole, 00:03:06.210 --> 00:03:09.180 align:middle line:84% though we have been friend through thick and thin, 00:03:09.180 --> 00:03:12.610 align:middle line:90% dog needed some love from men. 00:03:12.610 --> 00:03:16.200 align:middle line:84% So when you saw the brothers two, away they had flown, 00:03:16.200 --> 00:03:17.850 align:middle line:90% and back they flew. 00:03:17.850 --> 00:03:21.090 align:middle line:84% Reclineth in yard through seasons and sun. 00:03:21.090 --> 00:03:24.540 align:middle line:84% To wind and rain, you snow, you fog. 00:03:24.540 --> 00:03:27.390 align:middle line:84% O'Toole, Hodain, ye brothers dog." 00:03:27.390 --> 00:03:28.890 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHTER] 00:03:28.890 --> 00:03:32.240 align:middle line:90% [APPLAUSE] 00:03:32.240 --> 00:03:34.000 align:middle line:90%