WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:04.640 align:middle line:84% I think I'm going to read another one of my insect animal 00:00:04.640 --> 00:00:06.515 align:middle line:90% S-and-M stories. 00:00:06.515 --> 00:00:13.730 align:middle line:84% [LAUGHS] This is called, "Winning." 00:00:13.730 --> 00:00:18.090 align:middle line:84% And it's dedicated someone I went to graduate school with, 00:00:18.090 --> 00:00:22.440 align:middle line:84% who told me this part of the story, which I then 00:00:22.440 --> 00:00:25.890 align:middle line:90% created the poem around her. 00:00:25.890 --> 00:00:30.570 align:middle line:84% "It's the temper of the razor as it skirts her ankle bone. 00:00:30.570 --> 00:00:33.090 align:middle line:90% The amber globes of turtle oil. 00:00:33.090 --> 00:00:37.260 align:middle line:84% She lies deep on a green chaise, cotton between her toes, 00:00:37.260 --> 00:00:41.530 align:middle line:84% one leg raised, and flames each nail. 00:00:41.530 --> 00:00:44.950 align:middle line:84% More than one man has called her fingers perfect-- 00:00:44.950 --> 00:00:46.720 align:middle line:90% the moon's gibbous. 00:00:46.720 --> 00:00:49.240 align:middle line:84% In the dressing room, the lingerie with hoya 00:00:49.240 --> 00:00:52.420 align:middle line:84% vining up the belly, the celery-colored cashmere dress, 00:00:52.420 --> 00:00:53.860 align:middle line:90% and spiked heels. 00:00:53.860 --> 00:00:59.860 align:middle line:84% Tonight, she'll blur like a gouache and tip forward. 00:00:59.860 --> 00:01:01.990 align:middle line:84% As a young girl, Saturday nights, 00:01:01.990 --> 00:01:04.910 align:middle line:84% while her parents fought among the steak knives, 00:01:04.910 --> 00:01:08.890 align:middle line:84% she sat on the edge of the bath, soaping up. 00:01:08.890 --> 00:01:11.000 align:middle line:84% As their voices rose from the kitchen, 00:01:11.000 --> 00:01:13.780 align:middle line:84% she hummed and dipped each limb in water, 00:01:13.780 --> 00:01:16.360 align:middle line:84% until she'd shaved even the blonde thistles 00:01:16.360 --> 00:01:18.100 align:middle line:90% along her knuckles. 00:01:18.100 --> 00:01:22.590 align:middle line:84% Afterwards, there were cool drinks. 00:01:22.590 --> 00:01:26.300 align:middle line:90% So much smoothness. 00:01:26.300 --> 00:01:30.020 align:middle line:84% Sometimes, she forgets what she wants. 00:01:30.020 --> 00:01:33.590 align:middle line:84% Once the boa wrapped about her as she watched the soap opera. 00:01:33.590 --> 00:01:35.090 align:middle line:90% It was her brother's. 00:01:35.090 --> 00:01:39.350 align:middle line:84% He told her, it ate a young calf each month alive. 00:01:39.350 --> 00:01:40.790 align:middle line:90% She was nine. 00:01:40.790 --> 00:01:42.440 align:middle line:90% No bigger than a calf. 00:01:42.440 --> 00:01:46.910 align:middle line:84% And each time she stood, its skin tensed about her waist. 00:01:46.910 --> 00:01:49.490 align:middle line:90% The unnerving temperature. 00:01:49.490 --> 00:01:51.770 align:middle line:84% She waited all afternoon for her brother 00:01:51.770 --> 00:01:55.130 align:middle line:84% to come home and untangle the snake. 00:01:55.130 --> 00:01:57.530 align:middle line:90% Smooth, she thought. 00:01:57.530 --> 00:01:59.620 align:middle line:90% Escape. 00:01:59.620 --> 00:02:03.193 align:middle line:84% And she smiled, and kept stroking its throat." 00:02:03.193 --> 00:02:04.401 align:middle line:90% [AUDIO CUTS OUT THEN RESUMES] 00:02:04.401 --> 00:02:07.660 align:middle line:84% A bowl of red berries, he'd burl, and stretch, 00:02:07.660 --> 00:02:09.639 align:middle line:90% and claw about my hips. 00:02:09.639 --> 00:02:13.180 align:middle line:84% One night, as the cat and I watched the moon eclipse, 00:02:13.180 --> 00:02:15.310 align:middle line:84% amid the scuttling of bear and mice, 00:02:15.310 --> 00:02:17.200 align:middle line:90% there was a cry from the forest. 00:02:17.200 --> 00:02:22.030 align:middle line:84% Not seductive, but pained and wailing, like a siren. 00:02:22.030 --> 00:02:24.940 align:middle line:90% The next day, the cat was gone. 00:02:24.940 --> 00:02:28.300 align:middle line:84% I'd heard that even blackbirds broke veins in their throats 00:02:28.300 --> 00:02:29.720 align:middle line:90% singing love songs. 00:02:29.720 --> 00:02:34.570 align:middle line:84% I stood by my window practicing, trying to shape the feline song 00:02:34.570 --> 00:02:37.660 align:middle line:90% to call him back. 00:02:37.660 --> 00:02:40.060 align:middle line:84% My daughter was no different than a cat, 00:02:40.060 --> 00:02:43.510 align:middle line:84% tapping the window glass over my bed, crying at night 00:02:43.510 --> 00:02:46.390 align:middle line:84% till I rocked her frail ribs against mine. 00:02:46.390 --> 00:02:49.150 align:middle line:84% Her hands on my breast, dark curls 00:02:49.150 --> 00:02:51.370 align:middle line:90% sweated against her forehead. 00:02:51.370 --> 00:02:53.380 align:middle line:84% Tell me about the princess, she said. 00:02:53.380 --> 00:02:57.670 align:middle line:84% The way she slept in a blue dress, waiting. 00:02:57.670 --> 00:02:59.620 align:middle line:84% It was a month of heat storms, lightning 00:02:59.620 --> 00:03:02.200 align:middle line:84% scratched like Sanskrit across the valley. 00:03:02.200 --> 00:03:04.420 align:middle line:90% A boy came riding our footpath. 00:03:04.420 --> 00:03:09.280 align:middle line:84% He wore black jeans, a sliver of green malachite at his neck. 00:03:09.280 --> 00:03:12.670 align:middle line:84% The breathless afternoon, the bees 00:03:12.670 --> 00:03:15.970 align:middle line:84% laid out on the red eyes of gaillardia. 00:03:15.970 --> 00:03:20.770 align:middle line:84% Before she left, my daughter cut off her long hair 00:03:20.770 --> 00:03:23.530 align:middle line:90% and bleached it yellow. 00:03:23.530 --> 00:03:26.890 align:middle line:84% There were years when I too turned from my mother's 00:03:26.890 --> 00:03:28.300 align:middle line:90% cool white arms. 00:03:28.300 --> 00:03:31.330 align:middle line:84% First, the pale boy-- scarred and silent. 00:03:31.330 --> 00:03:33.400 align:middle line:90% Then my husband. 00:03:33.400 --> 00:03:35.980 align:middle line:84% We cleaned the ditches together in spring, 00:03:35.980 --> 00:03:38.380 align:middle line:84% raking out silt and dead branches. 00:03:38.380 --> 00:03:41.740 align:middle line:90% He played a silver harmonica. 00:03:41.740 --> 00:03:44.860 align:middle line:84% A ring boned pony was what I had when we ran away. 00:03:44.860 --> 00:03:48.430 align:middle line:84% A field of salsify and a black skillet. 00:03:48.430 --> 00:03:52.720 align:middle line:84% Stretched out on the porch this noon, resting my swollen legs, 00:03:52.720 --> 00:03:57.130 align:middle line:84% I'm tired of canning tomatoes-- the house thick with red steam 00:03:57.130 --> 00:03:59.740 align:middle line:84% and basil, the bite of salt and vinegar, 00:03:59.740 --> 00:04:03.280 align:middle line:84% cucumbers floating like green bathers in brine. 00:04:03.280 --> 00:04:06.880 align:middle line:84% All that flesh I've tended gone to pulp. 00:04:06.880 --> 00:04:10.180 align:middle line:90% All that mismatched tenderness. 00:04:10.180 --> 00:04:12.940 align:middle line:90% One weed knows another. 00:04:12.940 --> 00:04:16.029 align:middle line:90% And each animal has its own cry. 00:04:16.029 --> 00:04:19.180 align:middle line:90% And when it's right, it's easy. 00:04:19.180 --> 00:04:21.880 align:middle line:84% Easy as my husband behind me now, 00:04:21.880 --> 00:04:24.280 align:middle line:84% holding open the black screen door. 00:04:24.280 --> 00:04:27.280 align:middle line:84% He's drinking tea with honey and a halo of gnats 00:04:27.280 --> 00:04:29.320 align:middle line:90% screams about his face. 00:04:29.320 --> 00:04:31.480 align:middle line:84% Let's sneak down to the basement, he says, 00:04:31.480 --> 00:04:33.520 align:middle line:90% where it's cool and dark. 00:04:33.520 --> 00:04:39.480 align:middle line:84% He cracks a bead of ice in his teeth, and offers half to me."