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I thought I'd read you the
only ode I have ever written.

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I'm not sure this is an ode,
but then in truth nobody

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is quite sure what
an ode in English is.

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Now odes in Greek or Latin
everybody knows what they are.

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At least they've got all
kinds of rules to them.

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But an ode in English--

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you compare the various things
in English poetry called odes.

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And about all they
have in common

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is that they're sort of
irregular on the page in shape

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maybe, not always.

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And they are usually about
some highfalutin and inspiring

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subject like a Grecian urn,
or intellectual beauty,

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or a skylark, or
something lofty like that.

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So maybe this is not
really a true ode

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but the subject is
my own rear end.

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Now how this thing came about.

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A poet friend of
mine, Keith Waldrop,

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gave me for a birthday
present a little dictionary

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of French slang.

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And I looked up
all the dirty words

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and I was amazed to find
all the colorful synonyms

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for the human rump that
the French argot has.

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And I tried to weave some of
these synonyms into this ode

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and to make up a few
new ones besides.

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So here is my ode, I am
addressing my rear end.

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Old tumbril, rolling
with me till I die.

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Divided face I'm hung
with, hindside-to,

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how can a peace be drawn between
us who never see eye to eye?

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Why, when it seems
I speak straight

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from the heart most
solemn thought,

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do you too have to speak?

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What about your horse laugh?

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Whistle as I break the news to
my mother that I must depart.

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Moon always waxing full, barrage
balloon, Vesuvius upside down,

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dual rump roast, cave of the
winds, my Mississippi coast.

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Cyclops forever picking
up and chucking stone.

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Caboose, poor ass I'm
saddled with from birth.

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Without your act, the
dirty deed I share,

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how could the stuck
up spirit in me

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bear coming back down to Earth?

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