Oh, I'll get off of this kick here in a second.
I'll read you one last Brat that I don't read in schools.
It's not in my Brats book.
The editor Margaret McElderry thought
it was too gory and horrible to include in a children's book.
She may be right.
It's about a brat named Filbert Spicer who
tangled with one of those machines
in the delicatessen that slices things.
Yeah.
At the market, Filbert Spicer peered into the cold cut
slicer.
That wicked slicer sped back and forth across his head,
neatly shaving, what a shock?
50 chips or Phil's old block?
Stopping just above the eyebrows.
Phil's not one of them thar high brows.