WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:00.952 align:middle line:90% 00:00:00.952 --> 00:00:03.332 align:middle line:90% [APPLAUSE] 00:00:03.332 --> 00:00:04.290 align:middle line:90% 00:00:04.290 --> 00:00:06.420 align:middle line:84% I wrote down all my smart remarks 00:00:06.420 --> 00:00:08.670 align:middle line:84% so I wouldn't forget any of them. 00:00:08.670 --> 00:00:09.170 align:middle line:90% OK. 00:00:09.170 --> 00:00:12.830 align:middle line:90% 00:00:12.830 --> 00:00:15.680 align:middle line:84% Oh, let's see what's smart we want to begin with. 00:00:15.680 --> 00:00:19.360 align:middle line:90% 00:00:19.360 --> 00:00:22.310 align:middle line:84% It all looks so smart when you get up here. 00:00:22.310 --> 00:00:23.530 align:middle line:90% Yeah. 00:00:23.530 --> 00:00:26.710 align:middle line:90% It was smarter at home. 00:00:26.710 --> 00:00:29.710 align:middle line:84% Oh, one thing for all the graduate students, 00:00:29.710 --> 00:00:31.960 align:middle line:84% hopefully tonight we'll get the answer 00:00:31.960 --> 00:00:35.350 align:middle line:84% to the big question, "What does Vance Bourjaily do 00:00:35.350 --> 00:00:37.360 align:middle line:84% when he's not correcting all those student 00:00:37.360 --> 00:00:40.228 align:middle line:90% essays he assigns." 00:00:40.228 --> 00:00:43.210 align:middle line:90% [INAUDIBLE] 00:00:43.210 --> 00:00:43.840 align:middle line:90% OK. 00:00:43.840 --> 00:00:46.600 align:middle line:84% And those of you that know me know 00:00:46.600 --> 00:00:49.270 align:middle line:84% I'm going to be reading seven stories tonight and-- 00:00:49.270 --> 00:00:50.265 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHTER] 00:00:50.265 --> 00:00:51.760 align:middle line:84% --for those of you that don't know 00:00:51.760 --> 00:00:55.600 align:middle line:84% me don't panic because it's only 8 pages. 00:00:55.600 --> 00:00:58.420 align:middle line:84% And this was a conspiracy between Vance 00:00:58.420 --> 00:01:00.940 align:middle line:84% and myself that to have a short reading so that we can 00:01:00.940 --> 00:01:04.050 align:middle line:90% have a long party afterwards. 00:01:04.050 --> 00:01:07.810 align:middle line:84% Unless, of course, Vance decides to play his cornet and then 00:01:07.810 --> 00:01:11.260 align:middle line:90% it may go on forever. 00:01:11.260 --> 00:01:14.530 align:middle line:84% And one last request for all of you to come to the party 00:01:14.530 --> 00:01:17.225 align:middle line:84% so that I can tell my mother that everyone ate the hors 00:01:17.225 --> 00:01:19.675 align:middle line:84% d'oeuvres so she'll understand what I'm doing in college. 00:01:19.675 --> 00:01:23.440 align:middle line:90% 00:01:23.440 --> 00:01:26.590 align:middle line:84% And one of the poets began his reading 00:01:26.590 --> 00:01:29.560 align:middle line:84% in the undergraduate poetry by saying, "This reading means 00:01:29.560 --> 00:01:30.610 align:middle line:90% a great deal to me." 00:01:30.610 --> 00:01:32.050 align:middle line:84% And I started thinking about that 00:01:32.050 --> 00:01:34.300 align:middle line:84% and this reading means a great deal to me 00:01:34.300 --> 00:01:37.120 align:middle line:84% because now I don't have to feel guilty for not taking workshop. 00:01:37.120 --> 00:01:41.240 align:middle line:90% 00:01:41.240 --> 00:01:42.940 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHTER] 00:01:42.940 --> 00:01:44.880 align:middle line:84% Because I'm here and some of them aren't. 00:01:44.880 --> 00:01:47.080 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHTER] 00:01:47.080 --> 00:01:48.400 align:middle line:90% 00:01:48.400 --> 00:01:50.650 align:middle line:84% I'm going to be reading from a novel in progress 00:01:50.650 --> 00:01:51.910 align:middle line:90% and it's titled Eleanor. 00:01:51.910 --> 00:01:54.250 align:middle line:84% And that's the feature character. 00:01:54.250 --> 00:01:56.500 align:middle line:84% It's really a collection of short stories. 00:01:56.500 --> 00:01:58.420 align:middle line:84% But because we're living in the '90s 00:01:58.420 --> 00:01:59.850 align:middle line:90% I get to call it the novel. 00:01:59.850 --> 00:02:01.600 align:middle line:84% And I don't have to write a novel in order 00:02:01.600 --> 00:02:02.830 align:middle line:90% to get out of here. 00:02:02.830 --> 00:02:06.640 align:middle line:84% I can just write stories which are a lot more fun. 00:02:06.640 --> 00:02:09.460 align:middle line:84% And also what you need to know about Eleanor probably 00:02:09.460 --> 00:02:13.780 align:middle line:84% is that she's a second grade teacher and amazingly enough, 00:02:13.780 --> 00:02:19.390 align:middle line:84% she's a young woman about my age having a similar life. 00:02:19.390 --> 00:02:21.520 align:middle line:84% And there's no physical description 00:02:21.520 --> 00:02:25.000 align:middle line:84% of Eleanor in the story but I decided that she probably 00:02:25.000 --> 00:02:26.770 align:middle line:90% looks a lot like this T-shirt. 00:02:26.770 --> 00:02:30.880 align:middle line:90% So this is probably Eleanor. 00:02:30.880 --> 00:02:34.390 align:middle line:84% And the other thing-- my friend Dan 00:02:34.390 --> 00:02:37.360 align:middle line:84% asked me if Eleanor was autobiographical 00:02:37.360 --> 00:02:39.700 align:middle line:84% and I guess the real answer is no 00:02:39.700 --> 00:02:43.330 align:middle line:84% because Eleanor has a lot better imagination than I do. 00:02:43.330 --> 00:02:49.990 align:middle line:84% And as the last remark because they're getting boring. 00:02:49.990 --> 00:02:52.990 align:middle line:84% In pursuit of giving a fictional quality to life 00:02:52.990 --> 00:02:56.140 align:middle line:84% I'd like to dedicate Tony Hoagland's portion 00:02:56.140 --> 00:02:58.285 align:middle line:84% of this reading to Lester Fender. 00:02:58.285 --> 00:03:01.450 align:middle line:90% 00:03:01.450 --> 00:03:02.710 align:middle line:90% OK, the stories. 00:03:02.710 --> 00:03:05.860 align:middle line:90% 00:03:05.860 --> 00:03:10.150 align:middle line:84% Hopefully, these are from somewhere within the novel. 00:03:10.150 --> 00:03:12.970 align:middle line:84% The first one is titled "Dating Instructions." 00:03:12.970 --> 00:03:15.130 align:middle line:90% And it's a very short story. 00:03:15.130 --> 00:03:18.610 align:middle line:84% Goes like this, "The thing you have to do is date," 00:03:18.610 --> 00:03:20.200 align:middle line:90% Mark said to Eleanor. 00:03:20.200 --> 00:03:21.280 align:middle line:90% "That's what I do. 00:03:21.280 --> 00:03:22.210 align:middle line:90% I date. 00:03:22.210 --> 00:03:24.070 align:middle line:90% I play softball and date. 00:03:24.070 --> 00:03:27.303 align:middle line:84% You either have to play softball or go paddling in a canoe 00:03:27.303 --> 00:03:28.220 align:middle line:90% and you have to date." 00:03:28.220 --> 00:03:31.147 align:middle line:90% 00:03:31.147 --> 00:03:32.230 align:middle line:90% Okay, and the next story-- 00:03:32.230 --> 00:03:34.580 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHTER] 00:03:34.580 --> 00:03:36.460 align:middle line:90% 00:03:36.460 --> 00:03:39.410 align:middle line:90% --is called "A Good Time." 00:03:39.410 --> 00:03:41.440 align:middle line:84% And this is one of the longer stories 00:03:41.440 --> 00:03:44.200 align:middle line:90% because it's a couple of pages. 00:03:44.200 --> 00:03:48.520 align:middle line:84% It goes like this, "Eleanor went for a good time, 00:03:48.520 --> 00:03:52.090 align:middle line:84% then later she was told she made a mistake in thinking they 00:03:52.090 --> 00:03:53.740 align:middle line:90% were there for a good time. 00:03:53.740 --> 00:03:58.120 align:middle line:84% Still, intermittently, a good time was had. 00:03:58.120 --> 00:04:01.210 align:middle line:84% Placing hands in men's hip pockets, 00:04:01.210 --> 00:04:03.700 align:middle line:84% stroking the cords of their jeans, 00:04:03.700 --> 00:04:08.230 align:middle line:84% mingling tongues, laughing at difficult jokes. 00:04:08.230 --> 00:04:11.260 align:middle line:84% It's fun to have a secret that no one knows 00:04:11.260 --> 00:04:13.870 align:middle line:84% and to laugh about it when the time comes. 00:04:13.870 --> 00:04:16.870 align:middle line:90% Someone said, "I have a secret." 00:04:16.870 --> 00:04:21.010 align:middle line:84% Eleanor said, "In about a week I will be laughing at it." 00:04:21.010 --> 00:04:24.190 align:middle line:84% She laughed but, of course, she could not tell the secret 00:04:24.190 --> 00:04:26.650 align:middle line:90% so no one else laughed. 00:04:26.650 --> 00:04:30.280 align:middle line:84% At the party it was fun when they each understood what 00:04:30.280 --> 00:04:33.040 align:middle line:90% the other was talking about. 00:04:33.040 --> 00:04:37.090 align:middle line:84% People at the party enjoyed watching the police helicopter 00:04:37.090 --> 00:04:39.730 align:middle line:84% beam its lights on another party. 00:04:39.730 --> 00:04:43.450 align:middle line:84% That was the kind of party it was, where people were 00:04:43.450 --> 00:04:46.300 align:middle line:90% vicariously at other parties. 00:04:46.300 --> 00:04:50.140 align:middle line:84% At least she thought that was the kind of slice of party 00:04:50.140 --> 00:04:53.110 align:middle line:84% that she saw as she watched other slices 00:04:53.110 --> 00:04:57.160 align:middle line:84% and mounds of the party on their separate plates scattered 00:04:57.160 --> 00:04:59.080 align:middle line:90% on the dirt yard. 00:04:59.080 --> 00:05:01.900 align:middle line:84% Eleanor assumed certain things by the way 00:05:01.900 --> 00:05:05.410 align:middle line:84% the pieces of the party lay quietly on their plates 00:05:05.410 --> 00:05:08.140 align:middle line:84% with only small killer movements. 00:05:08.140 --> 00:05:10.330 align:middle line:90% She assumed boredom. 00:05:10.330 --> 00:05:13.810 align:middle line:84% She equated activity with not boredom. 00:05:13.810 --> 00:05:17.290 align:middle line:84% At a party music could stand for activity, 00:05:17.290 --> 00:05:19.440 align:middle line:90% but there was no music. 00:05:19.440 --> 00:05:22.650 align:middle line:84% She shredded plastic cups and drew men 00:05:22.650 --> 00:05:25.860 align:middle line:84% in under her shoulder as an activity. 00:05:25.860 --> 00:05:30.090 align:middle line:84% Her blue stretched top and right hip became a point of interest 00:05:30.090 --> 00:05:33.420 align:middle line:90% at the party, at least for some. 00:05:33.420 --> 00:05:36.240 align:middle line:84% She realized that for others the party 00:05:36.240 --> 00:05:38.130 align:middle line:90% was quite a different thing. 00:05:38.130 --> 00:05:42.420 align:middle line:84% Though what it was for them she knew she could not know. 00:05:42.420 --> 00:05:45.420 align:middle line:84% She realized that someone at the party 00:05:45.420 --> 00:05:48.030 align:middle line:84% was forming his slice of the party 00:05:48.030 --> 00:05:50.580 align:middle line:90% by making a story about her. 00:05:50.580 --> 00:05:55.470 align:middle line:84% A story with many male characters and long hands. 00:05:55.470 --> 00:05:57.120 align:middle line:90% She tried to create-- 00:05:57.120 --> 00:06:01.770 align:middle line:84% tried to step into his creation of his story of the party 00:06:01.770 --> 00:06:05.940 align:middle line:84% as he watched her create a shape in her own party image 00:06:05.940 --> 00:06:07.830 align:middle line:90% with her slice. 00:06:07.830 --> 00:06:13.050 align:middle line:84% His story would be twisted, she could see, probably cliched. 00:06:13.050 --> 00:06:16.470 align:middle line:84% He would think the slice was the whole story. 00:06:16.470 --> 00:06:21.000 align:middle line:84% And the story would have to pass through his pockmarked face 00:06:21.000 --> 00:06:25.890 align:middle line:84% and thinning graying hair before it could revolve in his brain, 00:06:25.890 --> 00:06:30.720 align:middle line:84% gather pieces to itself along the wall of its own centrifuge. 00:06:30.720 --> 00:06:33.120 align:middle line:84% Before the story could be peeled off 00:06:33.120 --> 00:06:37.680 align:middle line:84% the inside of his mind like so much pressed paper. 00:06:37.680 --> 00:06:42.000 align:middle line:84% She didn't want to read that story, see that paper. 00:06:42.000 --> 00:06:44.910 align:middle line:84% It was probably dull and clichéd. 00:06:44.910 --> 00:06:48.240 align:middle line:90% It would be the old story about. 00:06:48.240 --> 00:06:51.150 align:middle line:84% Motivation, so important to the story, 00:06:51.150 --> 00:06:53.910 align:middle line:84% could only be fragmented and clichéd, 00:06:53.910 --> 00:06:57.660 align:middle line:84% could only seem to be insightful and complete. 00:06:57.660 --> 00:07:01.380 align:middle line:84% But like streamers of newsprint stuck in her hair, 00:07:01.380 --> 00:07:05.170 align:middle line:84% his story followed her outside of the party to the front 00:07:05.170 --> 00:07:07.020 align:middle line:90% walk and goodbye. 00:07:07.020 --> 00:07:09.930 align:middle line:84% His story opened with the repugnance 00:07:09.930 --> 00:07:14.940 align:middle line:84% of the smell of patchouli and a clichéd smell from the '60s. 00:07:14.940 --> 00:07:18.060 align:middle line:90% He said, "A bad beginning. 00:07:18.060 --> 00:07:22.320 align:middle line:84% She who wore patchouli should have realized right away." 00:07:22.320 --> 00:07:26.970 align:middle line:84% But Eleanor was busy leaving, heading towards activity, 00:07:26.970 --> 00:07:31.320 align:middle line:84% going dancing, swimming, a blond boy was waiting. 00:07:31.320 --> 00:07:35.310 align:middle line:84% The man making the story was willing to give her a chance 00:07:35.310 --> 00:07:35.820 align:middle line:90% though. 00:07:35.820 --> 00:07:41.550 align:middle line:84% He said what the chance would be for, confused her. 00:07:41.550 --> 00:07:46.560 align:middle line:84% She left her thoughts unpictured thinking only in white light. 00:07:46.560 --> 00:07:49.170 align:middle line:84% She allowed her thoughts to disperse, 00:07:49.170 --> 00:07:51.900 align:middle line:84% to squirm off in threads of color. 00:07:51.900 --> 00:07:55.260 align:middle line:84% He asked her about the men, the pockets, 00:07:55.260 --> 00:07:58.230 align:middle line:84% the tongue, and how she perceived them. 00:07:58.230 --> 00:08:00.300 align:middle line:90% She did not perceive them. 00:08:00.300 --> 00:08:04.650 align:middle line:84% She told him she did not perceive well at parties. 00:08:04.650 --> 00:08:08.460 align:middle line:84% He though, was an amasser of perceptions. 00:08:08.460 --> 00:08:11.340 align:middle line:90% A root ball of perceptions. 00:08:11.340 --> 00:08:15.600 align:middle line:84% He perceived her as frantic, useless, groping, 00:08:15.600 --> 00:08:19.530 align:middle line:84% not of his needs, he told her as she explained 00:08:19.530 --> 00:08:23.250 align:middle line:84% about the party, the dancing, the boy awaiting, 00:08:23.250 --> 00:08:25.110 align:middle line:90% the quest for a good time." 00:08:25.110 --> 00:08:28.870 align:middle line:90% 00:08:28.870 --> 00:08:33.510 align:middle line:84% The next one is called "The Stone Father." 00:08:33.510 --> 00:08:36.419 align:middle line:84% And it begins with the song from children's camp 00:08:36.419 --> 00:08:38.580 align:middle line:84% which I won't sing to you because I can't 00:08:38.580 --> 00:08:40.780 align:middle line:90% sing but I'll read it to you. 00:08:40.780 --> 00:08:46.050 align:middle line:84% And as a footnote to that, the title is "I'm a Ranger Bob." 00:08:46.050 --> 00:08:50.880 align:middle line:84% And Ranger Bob is a real forest ranger from California. 00:08:50.880 --> 00:08:54.510 align:middle line:84% At least as real as any forest ranger from California 00:08:54.510 --> 00:08:55.380 align:middle line:90% could be. 00:08:55.380 --> 00:08:59.160 align:middle line:84% And this song is about what he would really say. 00:08:59.160 --> 00:09:02.580 align:middle line:84% And it goes like this, "I'm a Ranger Bob. 00:09:02.580 --> 00:09:04.080 align:middle line:90% You're a Ranger Bob. 00:09:04.080 --> 00:09:06.300 align:middle line:90% We are Ranger Bobs all. 00:09:06.300 --> 00:09:10.560 align:middle line:84% And when we get together, we give a Ranger Bob call. 00:09:10.560 --> 00:09:13.800 align:middle line:90% The trees are your friends." 00:09:13.800 --> 00:09:16.065 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHTER] 00:09:16.065 --> 00:09:17.424 align:middle line:90% 00:09:17.424 --> 00:09:18.480 align:middle line:90% So "Stone Father." 00:09:18.480 --> 00:09:21.030 align:middle line:90% 00:09:21.030 --> 00:09:23.610 align:middle line:84% "The stone father salutes goodbye 00:09:23.610 --> 00:09:27.450 align:middle line:84% from the distance of his high carpeted platform. 00:09:27.450 --> 00:09:31.470 align:middle line:84% From her pathway, she returns his salute. 00:09:31.470 --> 00:09:34.290 align:middle line:90% "Goodbye, stone father." 00:09:34.290 --> 00:09:39.210 align:middle line:84% How does it feel to be the child of this hard, sand-surfaced 00:09:39.210 --> 00:09:40.410 align:middle line:90% father? 00:09:40.410 --> 00:09:43.230 align:middle line:84% The feeling is pinned to the back of her 00:09:43.230 --> 00:09:47.100 align:middle line:84% like a large waving kite on a short string 00:09:47.100 --> 00:09:51.870 align:middle line:84% and follows her wherever she goes, as again tonight she 00:09:51.870 --> 00:09:56.160 align:middle line:84% leaves the stone father's house for her own. 00:09:56.160 --> 00:09:59.640 align:middle line:84% She moves about her room unpacking. 00:09:59.640 --> 00:10:04.920 align:middle line:84% "Stone father, I'm home," Eleanor says out loud. 00:10:04.920 --> 00:10:08.340 align:middle line:84% The walls of her house are empty and white. 00:10:08.340 --> 00:10:10.560 align:middle line:90% There is nothing to fill them. 00:10:10.560 --> 00:10:12.690 align:middle line:90% They slam into each other. 00:10:12.690 --> 00:10:15.930 align:middle line:84% Their many corners enclose their loud noise 00:10:15.930 --> 00:10:19.060 align:middle line:84% in a space that is empty and white. 00:10:19.060 --> 00:10:23.950 align:middle line:84% She stands near a piling of corners, lost. 00:10:23.950 --> 00:10:27.880 align:middle line:84% She can't have the stone father, she knows now. 00:10:27.880 --> 00:10:31.240 align:middle line:84% She has the corners and the walls. 00:10:31.240 --> 00:10:33.250 align:middle line:90% She is nowhere now. 00:10:33.250 --> 00:10:39.070 align:middle line:84% In dead space, the stone father has left only his indifferent 00:10:39.070 --> 00:10:40.660 align:middle line:90% salute to her. 00:10:40.660 --> 00:10:42.820 align:middle line:90% She begins to giggle. 00:10:42.820 --> 00:10:45.580 align:middle line:90% She hides it with her hand. 00:10:45.580 --> 00:10:48.130 align:middle line:84% Standing in the corner facing it, 00:10:48.130 --> 00:10:52.120 align:middle line:84% she sings, "I'm a Ranger Bob" and hopes the stone 00:10:52.120 --> 00:10:54.580 align:middle line:90% father is not listening. 00:10:54.580 --> 00:10:58.870 align:middle line:84% This song is not for the children of the stone father. 00:10:58.870 --> 00:11:01.850 align:middle line:84% Their songs have been taken away. 00:11:01.850 --> 00:11:04.810 align:middle line:84% The songs are in the trees now away 00:11:04.810 --> 00:11:08.500 align:middle line:84% from the stone father and his children that remain. 00:11:08.500 --> 00:11:12.850 align:middle line:84% "I'm a Ranger Bob" is a song about another father, 00:11:12.850 --> 00:11:14.170 align:middle line:90% a different father. 00:11:14.170 --> 00:11:15.940 align:middle line:90% One with trees. 00:11:15.940 --> 00:11:19.420 align:middle line:84% The stone father never listens to the trees 00:11:19.420 --> 00:11:22.400 align:middle line:90% so the verses are safe. 00:11:22.400 --> 00:11:26.920 align:middle line:84% Eleanor slack across time to the stone father's house 00:11:26.920 --> 00:11:29.950 align:middle line:84% again where he never listens at all 00:11:29.950 --> 00:11:34.600 align:middle line:84% it seems until she is on the phone accidentally humming, 00:11:34.600 --> 00:11:36.460 align:middle line:90% "You are a Ranger Bob." 00:11:36.460 --> 00:11:39.730 align:middle line:84% And then he comes on the other line. 00:11:39.730 --> 00:11:43.220 align:middle line:84% She puts down the receiver, ashamed. 00:11:43.220 --> 00:11:46.330 align:middle line:84% This father built her first house-- 00:11:46.330 --> 00:11:49.390 align:middle line:84% a stone house-- and kept at the dead 00:11:49.390 --> 00:11:53.770 align:middle line:84% the night with his knowledge of smooth, hard stones. 00:11:53.770 --> 00:11:56.650 align:middle line:84% When she goes, she wants to take away 00:11:56.650 --> 00:12:01.630 align:middle line:84% these stones, this knowledge, and not just songs of trees. 00:12:01.630 --> 00:12:05.950 align:middle line:84% She wants her smooth white corners to be built of stones. 00:12:05.950 --> 00:12:09.140 align:middle line:84% She wants to hum this on the line for him, 00:12:09.140 --> 00:12:12.640 align:middle line:84% but there are no songs for stones. 00:12:12.640 --> 00:12:14.890 align:middle line:84% "Where have you gone, stone father?" 00:12:14.890 --> 00:12:18.940 align:middle line:84% she asked the white-wood corner of her new house. 00:12:18.940 --> 00:12:22.180 align:middle line:84% She invents gladness over soft things 00:12:22.180 --> 00:12:26.140 align:middle line:84% and tucks herself into bed singing. 00:12:26.140 --> 00:12:29.050 align:middle line:84% She hopes not to find the stone father 00:12:29.050 --> 00:12:31.870 align:middle line:90% but, of course, he is there. 00:12:31.870 --> 00:12:36.070 align:middle line:84% She has his image in the palm of her right hand. 00:12:36.070 --> 00:12:37.930 align:middle line:90% She crushes it. 00:12:37.930 --> 00:12:43.300 align:middle line:84% She lies in bed spread eagle, crushing her right hand. 00:12:43.300 --> 00:12:47.080 align:middle line:84% In the morning she turns the pages of the newspaper 00:12:47.080 --> 00:12:51.190 align:middle line:84% with her crushed hand and reads about the death of the stone 00:12:51.190 --> 00:12:52.960 align:middle line:90% father. 00:12:52.960 --> 00:12:55.990 align:middle line:90% But she cannot find peace. 00:12:55.990 --> 00:13:01.450 align:middle line:84% That only the stone father can give, and he is dead stone. 00:13:01.450 --> 00:13:05.320 align:middle line:84% If his death would make any difference, she would be glad. 00:13:05.320 --> 00:13:06.880 align:middle line:90% But it won't. 00:13:06.880 --> 00:13:10.670 align:middle line:84% Maybe when her hand heals it will make a difference. 00:13:10.670 --> 00:13:13.780 align:middle line:90% But it is too early to tell. 00:13:13.780 --> 00:13:16.390 align:middle line:90% The past though, goes on. 00:13:16.390 --> 00:13:19.810 align:middle line:84% And in it, the stone father laughs. 00:13:19.810 --> 00:13:25.480 align:middle line:84% He is outside his house talking to the neighbor and he laughs. 00:13:25.480 --> 00:13:29.260 align:middle line:84% Eleanor steps outside to be near him. 00:13:29.260 --> 00:13:34.120 align:middle line:84% "Ha-- ha," he says looking briefly at her. 00:13:34.120 --> 00:13:36.430 align:middle line:90% But she is not the joke. 00:13:36.430 --> 00:13:40.450 align:middle line:84% She is only the child of the stone father. 00:13:40.450 --> 00:13:44.080 align:middle line:84% She goes back inside but does not laugh. 00:13:44.080 --> 00:13:47.650 align:middle line:84% It has been so long since the stone father 00:13:47.650 --> 00:13:50.530 align:middle line:84% has made her laugh that neither of them 00:13:50.530 --> 00:13:52.510 align:middle line:90% planned for it any more." 00:13:52.510 --> 00:13:55.570 align:middle line:90% 00:13:55.570 --> 00:13:56.110 align:middle line:90% Break time. 00:13:56.110 --> 00:14:00.930 align:middle line:90% 00:14:00.930 --> 00:14:03.930 align:middle line:84% And the next one is called "Biting The Glass," 00:14:03.930 --> 00:14:05.760 align:middle line:90% and this one is for Terry. 00:14:05.760 --> 00:14:10.260 align:middle line:84% And it begins with the epigraph from a Dick Shelton poem. 00:14:10.260 --> 00:14:16.020 align:middle line:84% It goes like this, "It has never been easy fighting the desire 00:14:16.020 --> 00:14:19.450 align:middle line:90% to eat glass." 00:14:19.450 --> 00:14:19.950 align:middle line:90% OK. 00:14:19.950 --> 00:14:22.950 align:middle line:90% 00:14:22.950 --> 00:14:25.500 align:middle line:84% "When something is too hard for me to do, 00:14:25.500 --> 00:14:28.530 align:middle line:84% I set it up so that I do more and more of it. 00:14:28.530 --> 00:14:31.680 align:middle line:84% That way it seems less hard at first. 00:14:31.680 --> 00:14:34.360 align:middle line:84% And I know there is so much more to go. 00:14:34.360 --> 00:14:38.040 align:middle line:84% So at least at first it seems less hard. 00:14:38.040 --> 00:14:41.250 align:middle line:84% Last week there were some hard times so 00:14:41.250 --> 00:14:44.580 align:middle line:84% this week I'm going over and over them again. 00:14:44.580 --> 00:14:48.750 align:middle line:84% Now last week seems much easier though this week 00:14:48.750 --> 00:14:50.460 align:middle line:90% has been very hard." 00:14:50.460 --> 00:14:56.460 align:middle line:84% Eleanor explains and crosses her legs in the seat of her chair. 00:14:56.460 --> 00:14:58.380 align:middle line:90% It began with a boy-- 00:14:58.380 --> 00:15:02.880 align:middle line:84% 26, dark, hairy, culturally good looking-- 00:15:02.880 --> 00:15:05.940 align:middle line:84% going through the motions of biting a glass. 00:15:05.940 --> 00:15:09.150 align:middle line:84% "Can you see his twisted grin as he crunches it?" 00:15:09.150 --> 00:15:11.160 align:middle line:90% Eleanor asks. 00:15:11.160 --> 00:15:13.950 align:middle line:84% "Most people look through the glass," 00:15:13.950 --> 00:15:16.890 align:middle line:84% he told me, putting it to his eyes. 00:15:16.890 --> 00:15:21.780 align:middle line:84% "I want someday someone to bite the glass raw," 00:15:21.780 --> 00:15:26.520 align:middle line:84% he said as he pretended to crush it beneath his teeth. 00:15:26.520 --> 00:15:32.100 align:middle line:84% At first he said, "I'd like to talk to you for about 100 hours 00:15:32.100 --> 00:15:34.500 align:middle line:84% and then we'd be finished with each other 00:15:34.500 --> 00:15:36.180 align:middle line:90% and go on to other things." 00:15:36.180 --> 00:15:40.890 align:middle line:84% I said, "So after talking about 100 hours, 00:15:40.890 --> 00:15:46.020 align:middle line:84% but mostly in silences, we've moved on to other things." 00:15:46.020 --> 00:15:48.960 align:middle line:84% Eleanor lifts her brown hair from her neck 00:15:48.960 --> 00:15:53.730 align:middle line:84% with both arms lifting against space which is collapsing 00:15:53.730 --> 00:15:56.220 align:middle line:90% on her from the walls. 00:15:56.220 --> 00:16:01.530 align:middle line:84% "But love," Eleanor thought, dragging broken baggage, trash, 00:16:01.530 --> 00:16:04.920 align:middle line:84% rags, the chair into the waiting room. 00:16:04.920 --> 00:16:08.880 align:middle line:84% "But love," she thought as these were heaped upon her, 00:16:08.880 --> 00:16:12.510 align:middle line:84% handed to her, exchange, replaced. 00:16:12.510 --> 00:16:19.110 align:middle line:84% "But love," she said to each note not left upon the door. 00:16:19.110 --> 00:16:23.460 align:middle line:84% "Watching movies, why do we believe that certain foreigners 00:16:23.460 --> 00:16:25.590 align:middle line:90% are more honest than we?" 00:16:25.590 --> 00:16:28.230 align:middle line:90% the woman asked herself. 00:16:28.230 --> 00:16:31.380 align:middle line:84% "I've never talked to anyone like this before," 00:16:31.380 --> 00:16:33.660 align:middle line:90% the Soviet comrade said. 00:16:33.660 --> 00:16:36.000 align:middle line:84% The college football player said. 00:16:36.000 --> 00:16:38.670 align:middle line:90% The boy with dark hair said. 00:16:38.670 --> 00:16:41.550 align:middle line:90% But Eleanor believes them all. 00:16:41.550 --> 00:16:44.370 align:middle line:84% She believes that it is all true. 00:16:44.370 --> 00:16:47.010 align:middle line:84% That it has never been said before. 00:16:47.010 --> 00:16:53.790 align:middle line:84% That everything is new and unique and temporary and gone. 00:16:53.790 --> 00:16:57.210 align:middle line:84% "All the boys have honest eyes," Eleanor 00:16:57.210 --> 00:17:00.870 align:middle line:84% says, looking at her wallet photo collection. 00:17:00.870 --> 00:17:05.130 align:middle line:84% "I tell them all that they have wonderful green eyes, that 00:17:05.130 --> 00:17:07.319 align:middle line:90% is what they say about mine. 00:17:07.319 --> 00:17:09.869 align:middle line:90% They all tell stories so well. 00:17:09.869 --> 00:17:11.970 align:middle line:90% They all hold up the glass. 00:17:11.970 --> 00:17:14.040 align:middle line:90% They all leave notes. 00:17:14.040 --> 00:17:18.329 align:middle line:84% There is a stack of notes always outside on the chair. 00:17:18.329 --> 00:17:23.310 align:middle line:84% When I leave even for a moment, I know I will return to a note 00:17:23.310 --> 00:17:25.170 align:middle line:90% that one of them has left. 00:17:25.170 --> 00:17:29.640 align:middle line:84% The notes are written on the backs of old poems, flyers, 00:17:29.640 --> 00:17:34.860 align:middle line:84% postcards, whatever they can find left over from the mail." 00:17:34.860 --> 00:17:39.480 align:middle line:84% "You said you were shy, uncomfortable in the light you 00:17:39.480 --> 00:17:40.590 align:middle line:90% turned on. 00:17:40.590 --> 00:17:44.190 align:middle line:84% You sat cross-legged on the bed naked. 00:17:44.190 --> 00:17:47.880 align:middle line:84% You pulled the curtains open and waited until morning 00:17:47.880 --> 00:17:51.840 align:middle line:84% when it was light again and you stood naked at the window," 00:17:51.840 --> 00:17:55.380 align:middle line:90% the woman says to Eleanor. 00:17:55.380 --> 00:17:59.430 align:middle line:84% "I smell like heaven," Eleanoe says. 00:17:59.430 --> 00:18:02.910 align:middle line:84% "It is because I smell like someone else. 00:18:02.910 --> 00:18:07.050 align:middle line:84% It is the heaven of having someone else break through 00:18:07.050 --> 00:18:11.640 align:middle line:84% into this world of blank papers and neat tabletops. 00:18:11.640 --> 00:18:15.900 align:middle line:84% I turn on the radio for voice and put on this shirt 00:18:15.900 --> 00:18:19.380 align:middle line:84% that he has touched for smell and have only 00:18:19.380 --> 00:18:24.915 align:middle line:84% thought left to myself and the papers and the tabletops." 00:18:24.915 --> 00:18:30.360 align:middle line:84% Eleanor is silent then and shows she is finished. 00:18:30.360 --> 00:18:35.760 align:middle line:84% "Do not be impressed," Eleanor later writes in her journal. 00:18:35.760 --> 00:18:40.230 align:middle line:84% "We are dying in unimportant ways here. 00:18:40.230 --> 00:18:43.710 align:middle line:84% A case of light brown hair, send payment 00:18:43.710 --> 00:18:47.730 align:middle line:84% for kicking, stabbing for specifics 00:18:47.730 --> 00:18:52.670 align:middle line:84% like the smell of clothes, curly dark arm hair, glass. 00:18:52.670 --> 00:18:55.905 align:middle line:90% 00:18:55.905 --> 00:18:56.630 align:middle line:90% It too short. 00:18:56.630 --> 00:18:59.061 align:middle line:90% One is left. 00:18:59.061 --> 00:19:01.130 align:middle line:90% There're three short. 00:19:01.130 --> 00:19:05.780 align:middle line:84% This one's called "A Story With Horses In It." 00:19:05.780 --> 00:19:08.450 align:middle line:84% "One day while Eleanor was swimming laps-- 00:19:08.450 --> 00:19:10.670 align:middle line:84% when they were-- she was swimming laps, 00:19:10.670 --> 00:19:14.660 align:middle line:84% Eleanor remembered that she knew how to swing onto a horse. 00:19:14.660 --> 00:19:16.520 align:middle line:84% She started thinking of the house 00:19:16.520 --> 00:19:18.500 align:middle line:84% in the country she was going to visit. 00:19:18.500 --> 00:19:20.810 align:middle line:84% And that maybe there would be chickens and cows 00:19:20.810 --> 00:19:21.980 align:middle line:90% and horses there. 00:19:21.980 --> 00:19:24.680 align:middle line:84% And she saw herself grabbing the horse's mane 00:19:24.680 --> 00:19:25.970 align:middle line:90% with a right hand-- 00:19:25.970 --> 00:19:29.840 align:middle line:84% her strong side-- and being able to swing her left leg over 00:19:29.840 --> 00:19:31.910 align:middle line:90% and up onto the horse. 00:19:31.910 --> 00:19:35.090 align:middle line:84% She wondered why she pictured herself doing that. 00:19:35.090 --> 00:19:38.300 align:middle line:84% And then she remembered that she used to know how to do it 00:19:38.300 --> 00:19:40.260 align:middle line:90% and did it all the time. 00:19:40.260 --> 00:19:43.400 align:middle line:84% She remembered that she could ride backwards and ride 00:19:43.400 --> 00:19:45.920 align:middle line:84% hanging off the side and that she could reach down 00:19:45.920 --> 00:19:49.310 align:middle line:84% the rein off the ground even if the horse was galloping. 00:19:49.310 --> 00:19:52.340 align:middle line:84% And she remembered that she could ride with no bridle 00:19:52.340 --> 00:19:55.100 align:middle line:90% at all, just swing on and go. 00:19:55.100 --> 00:19:57.950 align:middle line:84% And she wondered what the people at the party 00:19:57.950 --> 00:20:03.260 align:middle line:84% would think if they saw her just swing on and go. 00:20:03.260 --> 00:20:06.380 align:middle line:84% And then she remembered that there probably 00:20:06.380 --> 00:20:11.210 align:middle line:84% wouldn't be any horses at the party and that her own horse-- 00:20:11.210 --> 00:20:17.420 align:middle line:84% the Palomino-- that she was swinging on to was dead. 00:20:17.420 --> 00:20:25.190 align:middle line:84% Last Eleanor story is called "The Happy Student." 00:20:25.190 --> 00:20:28.530 align:middle line:84% "One day Eleanor saw her happy student. 00:20:28.530 --> 00:20:31.220 align:middle line:84% She had known him for a year and no matter what 00:20:31.220 --> 00:20:33.620 align:middle line:90% he was doing he was happy. 00:20:33.620 --> 00:20:35.480 align:middle line:90% "Why are you always so happy?" 00:20:35.480 --> 00:20:37.730 align:middle line:90% Eleanor finally asked him. 00:20:37.730 --> 00:20:40.340 align:middle line:84% "There's so much for me to do here," 00:20:40.340 --> 00:20:45.230 align:middle line:84% he said looking up and smiling, lifting a yellow shovel out 00:20:45.230 --> 00:20:46.850 align:middle line:90% of the sand. 00:20:46.850 --> 00:20:49.970 align:middle line:84% "On Thursday [AUDIO OUT] friend at the teacher's 00:20:49.970 --> 00:20:52.340 align:middle line:90% lunch table at school. 00:20:52.340 --> 00:20:56.180 align:middle line:84% I was worried about what we would do for free period today. 00:20:56.180 --> 00:20:58.910 align:middle line:84% We only have one free period a week 00:20:58.910 --> 00:21:01.100 align:middle line:90% so it's special for all of us. 00:21:01.100 --> 00:21:06.090 align:middle line:84% But then I figured out what we could do and now I'm happy. 00:21:06.090 --> 00:21:10.340 align:middle line:84% It seems these days that if one little thing goes right 00:21:10.340 --> 00:21:13.565 align:middle line:84% it's enough to make me happy for a long while." 00:21:13.565 --> 00:21:16.130 align:middle line:90% 00:21:16.130 --> 00:21:19.910 align:middle line:84% And the last piece is not an Eleanor piece. 00:21:19.910 --> 00:21:24.260 align:middle line:84% And it's dedicated to my fellow MFAs-- 00:21:24.260 --> 00:21:29.570 align:middle line:84% the MFA people and my teacher, and our next reader, Vance. 00:21:29.570 --> 00:21:32.270 align:middle line:84% And it's titled "The Critical Session." 00:21:32.270 --> 00:21:34.250 align:middle line:90% It's another short one. 00:21:34.250 --> 00:21:36.320 align:middle line:90% "The critical session." 00:21:36.320 --> 00:21:40.100 align:middle line:84% "You bring in the stories of your life neatly typed 00:21:40.100 --> 00:21:45.350 align:middle line:84% on white paper and stack them on the floor for him to read. 00:21:45.350 --> 00:21:47.840 align:middle line:84% You lay down on your side and you 00:21:47.840 --> 00:21:53.150 align:middle line:84% look at them in profile noticing that there are 7/8 of an inch 00:21:53.150 --> 00:21:58.550 align:middle line:84% high and that the edges feather into dark and white spaces. 00:21:58.550 --> 00:22:02.420 align:middle line:84% He stands and looks at them from above. 00:22:02.420 --> 00:22:05.990 align:middle line:84% When he discusses them, you have no idea 00:22:05.990 --> 00:22:07.940 align:middle line:90% what he is talking about." 00:22:07.940 --> 00:22:10.435 align:middle line:90% [APPLAUSE] 00:22:10.435 --> 00:22:31.900 align:middle line:90% 00:22:31.900 --> 00:22:35.660 align:middle line:84% Well, I'm not going to sing "Ranger Bob" here. 00:22:35.660 --> 00:22:38.620 align:middle line:90% 00:22:38.620 --> 00:22:42.880 align:middle line:84% I might play the cornet, but not immediately. 00:22:42.880 --> 00:22:43.640 align:middle line:90% And I might not. 00:22:43.640 --> 00:22:46.820 align:middle line:90% If it's not a threat. 00:22:46.820 --> 00:22:48.580 align:middle line:84% It's here if you get inattentive. 00:22:48.580 --> 00:22:52.822 align:middle line:90% 00:22:52.822 --> 00:22:54.280 align:middle line:84% It's kind of a prop for what I need 00:22:54.280 --> 00:22:59.920 align:middle line:84% for what I'm going to read, which 00:22:59.920 --> 00:23:01.690 align:middle line:84% is a piece of a novel I'm working on. 00:23:01.690 --> 00:23:05.080 align:middle line:90% 00:23:05.080 --> 00:23:09.490 align:middle line:84% It isn't-- it almost isn't even the first draft. 00:23:09.490 --> 00:23:11.770 align:middle line:90% It's some trial stuff. 00:23:11.770 --> 00:23:15.520 align:middle line:84% I suspect that a good deal of what you hear tonight 00:23:15.520 --> 00:23:17.080 align:middle line:90% will never be printed. 00:23:17.080 --> 00:23:21.580 align:middle line:90% 00:23:21.580 --> 00:23:24.970 align:middle line:84% It's told in the voice of a young man named 00:23:24.970 --> 00:23:28.240 align:middle line:84% Mike Mizzourin who will start explaining himself right away. 00:23:28.240 --> 00:23:33.202 align:middle line:90% 00:23:33.202 --> 00:23:35.550 align:middle line:84% Mike allows himself just to write playful things 00:23:35.550 --> 00:23:36.550 align:middle line:90% with language. 00:23:36.550 --> 00:23:38.550 align:middle line:84% Things that I wouldn't commit myself to do which 00:23:38.550 --> 00:23:40.883 align:middle line:84% is probably why I'm writing it in his person rather than 00:23:40.883 --> 00:23:41.460 align:middle line:90% my own. 00:23:41.460 --> 00:23:44.830 align:middle line:90% 00:23:44.830 --> 00:23:47.360 align:middle line:90% And let's see the name. 00:23:47.360 --> 00:23:51.940 align:middle line:84% The title of the book is The Great Fake Book. 00:23:51.940 --> 00:23:55.670 align:middle line:84% That will be explained in context. 00:23:55.670 --> 00:23:59.740 align:middle line:84% And one of the things that I will probably discard 00:23:59.740 --> 00:24:03.400 align:middle line:84% is the following passage which is actually a conversation 00:24:03.400 --> 00:24:04.840 align:middle line:90% I had with my son last summer. 00:24:04.840 --> 00:24:11.080 align:middle line:84% He's 22 years old and a great rock expert. 00:24:11.080 --> 00:24:13.940 align:middle line:84% And he wonder what I was writing about. 00:24:13.940 --> 00:24:17.920 align:middle line:84% He said, "Dad, what's it about there?" 00:24:17.920 --> 00:24:20.260 align:middle line:84% "I don't know," I said helpfully. 00:24:20.260 --> 00:24:23.350 align:middle line:84% "You never want to tell me what it's about." 00:24:23.350 --> 00:24:26.200 align:middle line:90% "Youth and music, I guess." 00:24:26.200 --> 00:24:28.270 align:middle line:84% "Well, does that make it more my kind of thing 00:24:28.270 --> 00:24:30.010 align:middle line:90% to write than yours?" 00:24:30.010 --> 00:24:31.990 align:middle line:90% "Sure, it would." 00:24:31.990 --> 00:24:33.880 align:middle line:90% "Unless you mean." 00:24:33.880 --> 00:24:37.900 align:middle line:84% "Yes," I said it years ago, a long time music. 00:24:37.900 --> 00:24:40.970 align:middle line:90% 00:24:40.970 --> 00:24:44.915 align:middle line:84% And as I said, that may or may not actually precede the book. 00:24:44.915 --> 00:24:48.290 align:middle line:84% There are some-- there are some other matter that 00:24:48.290 --> 00:24:49.610 align:middle line:90% goes before this. 00:24:49.610 --> 00:24:57.470 align:middle line:84% But we now start with the date December 29, 1945. 00:24:57.470 --> 00:25:01.340 align:middle line:84% And every once in a while I'll throw in a song title 00:25:01.340 --> 00:25:03.980 align:middle line:84% and eventually you may understand why. 00:25:03.980 --> 00:25:09.950 align:middle line:84% After December 29 1945 it says, "Begin the Beguine." 00:25:09.950 --> 00:25:13.460 align:middle line:84% "Today on my bittersweet way out of the army discharge 00:25:13.460 --> 00:25:16.220 align:middle line:84% center in Ferriday, North Carolina, 00:25:16.220 --> 00:25:19.370 align:middle line:90% I stole that goofy looking horn. 00:25:19.370 --> 00:25:23.240 align:middle line:90% There it lies coyly. 00:25:23.240 --> 00:25:25.070 align:middle line:84% Shouting up at me from the other double bed 00:25:25.070 --> 00:25:30.750 align:middle line:84% in room 300B, the Grand Commerce Hotel, I don't know what it is. 00:25:30.750 --> 00:25:32.501 align:middle line:90% I do not know. 00:25:32.501 --> 00:25:36.140 align:middle line:84% A group of nine of us new hatched sweet veteran bitter 00:25:36.140 --> 00:25:38.570 align:middle line:84% birds were scratching and pecking out 00:25:38.570 --> 00:25:40.730 align:middle line:84% of step toward the Ferriday carrying 00:25:40.730 --> 00:25:43.130 align:middle line:90% duffel bags and green musettes. 00:25:43.130 --> 00:25:46.970 align:middle line:84% We passed a fine pink panted First Lieutenant bird, 00:25:46.970 --> 00:25:50.120 align:middle line:84% peered at him twittering, and jointly failed to raise 00:25:50.120 --> 00:25:54.020 align:middle line:84% our wings, save for a curly crusted tall Tech Three named 00:25:54.020 --> 00:25:56.990 align:middle line:84% Lon who hollered "tent-hut," dropped his gear, 00:25:56.990 --> 00:25:59.420 align:middle line:84% and leapt into a salute that went over the line 00:25:59.420 --> 00:26:02.030 align:middle line:90% into catatonic. 00:26:02.030 --> 00:26:05.960 align:middle line:84% We applauded, hoping it was irony. 00:26:05.960 --> 00:26:07.460 align:middle line:90% The Lieutenant hurried on. 00:26:07.460 --> 00:26:09.620 align:middle line:84% Then we started past a double decker 00:26:09.620 --> 00:26:12.530 align:middle line:84% wooden barracks building with an open door at Third Street 00:26:12.530 --> 00:26:13.580 align:middle line:90% level. 00:26:13.580 --> 00:26:16.700 align:middle line:84% Me, Mike, I always look in open doors. 00:26:16.700 --> 00:26:18.950 align:middle line:84% And inside this one was a room where 00:26:18.950 --> 00:26:22.400 align:middle line:84% I could see a tuba lying on its side looking quite drunk. 00:26:22.400 --> 00:26:24.320 align:middle line:84% And there were music stands, and then 00:26:24.320 --> 00:26:26.880 align:middle line:84% a row of snare drums on the seats of chairs, flutes, 00:26:26.880 --> 00:26:29.720 align:middle line:84% clarinets, garrison caps, and full dress jackets, 00:26:29.720 --> 00:26:32.480 align:middle line:84% the jackets hanging over the chair backs. 00:26:32.480 --> 00:26:35.060 align:middle line:84% I slowed down, fell back from the group 00:26:35.060 --> 00:26:37.460 align:middle line:84% that I was pecking with, stuck my head in the door, 00:26:37.460 --> 00:26:39.690 align:middle line:84% and there was no one in the room. 00:26:39.690 --> 00:26:42.290 align:middle line:84% There were a lot more instruments, saxophones, 00:26:42.290 --> 00:26:43.790 align:middle line:90% glockenspiels. 00:26:43.790 --> 00:26:47.030 align:middle line:84% You can probably bet your ass that there were glockenspiels, 00:26:47.030 --> 00:26:49.310 align:middle line:84% if that's the kind of bet you like to make. 00:26:49.310 --> 00:26:53.690 align:middle line:84% I set my duffel down and slid in fast wanting to clip a trumpet. 00:26:53.690 --> 00:26:56.150 align:middle line:84% When I got in, I could hear talking and fighting 00:26:56.150 --> 00:26:58.610 align:middle line:84% in the other room, so I grabbed the first hand-sized brass 00:26:58.610 --> 00:27:01.980 align:middle line:84% instrument with valves I saw and got back out again. 00:27:01.980 --> 00:27:04.370 align:middle line:84% It did seem to me that this thing I had stuffed down 00:27:04.370 --> 00:27:07.550 align:middle line:84% the front of my [? Eisen ?] weasel jacket against my chest 00:27:07.550 --> 00:27:10.640 align:middle line:84% might just be comical and oversized, 00:27:10.640 --> 00:27:13.560 align:middle line:84% but I didn't quite dare take look. 00:27:13.560 --> 00:27:15.950 align:middle line:84% There's was a trash can just outside the door, its 00:27:15.950 --> 00:27:19.130 align:middle line:84% cover off, and a big brown empty paper sack 00:27:19.130 --> 00:27:21.200 align:middle line:90% crumpled on top of it. 00:27:21.200 --> 00:27:23.390 align:middle line:84% I lifted the sapsucker hunched over 00:27:23.390 --> 00:27:26.030 align:middle line:84% and looked away, whistling to prove I wasn't up to anything 00:27:26.030 --> 00:27:29.990 align:middle line:84% unusual, and bagged my fat horn, picked up the devil 00:27:29.990 --> 00:27:34.010 align:middle line:84% and swung it, showing the folks my young exuberance, 00:27:34.010 --> 00:27:37.160 align:middle line:84% and double peckered up to catch my group. 00:27:37.160 --> 00:27:41.510 align:middle line:84% In charge, but not much, was a buck sergeant. 00:27:41.510 --> 00:27:44.390 align:middle line:84% His name is Fetlock, an agreeable, plump buck 00:27:44.390 --> 00:27:49.937 align:middle line:84% sergeant in the best of Fetlock luck and pots of beer. 00:27:49.937 --> 00:27:51.770 align:middle line:84% He'd been dreaming a lot of beer all morning 00:27:51.770 --> 00:27:53.823 align:middle line:90% as we processed through. 00:27:53.823 --> 00:27:55.490 align:middle line:84% "Mike, my boy, what's in the paper bag?" 00:27:55.490 --> 00:27:57.200 align:middle line:90% He asked when I caught up. 00:27:57.200 --> 00:27:58.250 align:middle line:90% "Budweiser," I said. 00:27:58.250 --> 00:27:59.690 align:middle line:90% "You want a can?" 00:27:59.690 --> 00:28:02.882 align:middle line:84% "Don't you wish," said Sergeant Fetlock. 00:28:02.882 --> 00:28:05.090 align:middle line:84% What I wished when I looked at the good pink sweating 00:28:05.090 --> 00:28:08.600 align:middle line:84% Sergeant, who'd had mortar teams at Leyte and at Guam 00:28:08.600 --> 00:28:12.770 align:middle line:84% and been twice wounded was that my eye didn't keep running him 00:28:12.770 --> 00:28:16.160 align:middle line:90% into bloody chicken parts. 00:28:16.160 --> 00:28:20.840 align:middle line:84% These nine freed bipeds were, like many others, 00:28:20.840 --> 00:28:25.310 align:middle line:84% being let out early because we'd met the weasel. 00:28:25.310 --> 00:28:27.680 align:middle line:84% I kept chickens as a kid from year to year, 00:28:27.680 --> 00:28:32.300 align:middle line:84% had them killed some years, but never dreamed I'd be one. 00:28:32.300 --> 00:28:35.630 align:middle line:84% Now comes the weasel chewing into the coop, 00:28:35.630 --> 00:28:38.570 align:middle line:84% and then his mad little twitchy nose pokes in, 00:28:38.570 --> 00:28:42.500 align:middle line:84% and his squirrelly cartoon eyes, and he snickers and gets 00:28:42.500 --> 00:28:44.660 align:middle line:84% his tiny hard on for the killing, 00:28:44.660 --> 00:28:47.810 align:middle line:84% the same tincy hard on that the admirals and generals get. 00:28:47.810 --> 00:28:51.020 align:middle line:84% Probably the president and kings as well, 00:28:51.020 --> 00:28:53.030 align:middle line:90% worshiping the weasel God. 00:28:53.030 --> 00:28:56.690 align:middle line:84% Then the cute rascal kills, or nutsy and indifferent about it, 00:28:56.690 --> 00:28:59.930 align:middle line:84% half kills every fucking chicken he can catch, 00:28:59.930 --> 00:29:01.820 align:middle line:84% and may or may not trouble to eat one 00:29:01.820 --> 00:29:04.910 align:middle line:84% before he realizes that the yard arm's up there buggering 00:29:04.910 --> 00:29:06.110 align:middle line:90% the sun again. 00:29:06.110 --> 00:29:08.540 align:middle line:84% Time to slurry over to the weasel club 00:29:08.540 --> 00:29:10.850 align:middle line:84% to slosh some bourbon or some vodka, 00:29:10.850 --> 00:29:14.240 align:middle line:84% some sake, cognac, schnapps, or say an ounce 00:29:14.240 --> 00:29:17.570 align:middle line:84% or two of pissy half-warm scotch. 00:29:17.570 --> 00:29:21.410 align:middle line:84% And what's left behind in the caves and on the beaches 00:29:21.410 --> 00:29:25.520 align:middle line:84% is piles of half animate blood and shit and feathers. 00:29:25.520 --> 00:29:27.050 align:middle line:90% That will do for the better. 00:29:27.050 --> 00:29:29.210 align:middle line:84% I suppose the sweet is remembering 00:29:29.210 --> 00:29:31.190 align:middle line:84% the extra shot of morph your friend, the medic, 00:29:31.190 --> 00:29:33.740 align:middle line:84% gave you when he found you hurting in the pile, 00:29:33.740 --> 00:29:36.800 align:middle line:84% little [? Balfour ?] popping himself a shot for company 00:29:36.800 --> 00:29:41.050 align:middle line:84% and to keep from crying, that and the long dream of something 00:29:41.050 --> 00:29:43.570 align:middle line:84% called love that people seem to think 00:29:43.570 --> 00:29:47.920 align:middle line:84% was out here for us past the gates of Ferriday. 00:29:47.920 --> 00:29:50.202 align:middle line:90% Lovely to look at. 00:29:50.202 --> 00:29:51.910 align:middle line:84% [INAUDIBLE] the entrance to the army camp 00:29:51.910 --> 00:29:53.830 align:middle line:84% and could see the town out behind it. 00:29:53.830 --> 00:29:56.410 align:middle line:84% I moved into the middle of our [INAUDIBLE] little [INAUDIBLE] 00:29:56.410 --> 00:29:59.500 align:middle line:84% where the sentries paid no attention to my ridgeback paper 00:29:59.500 --> 00:30:00.880 align:middle line:90% sack. 00:30:00.880 --> 00:30:02.800 align:middle line:84% The sentries were two privates with no ribbons 00:30:02.800 --> 00:30:05.140 align:middle line:84% on their bright dress khakis, so they hadn't 00:30:05.140 --> 00:30:07.600 align:middle line:90% been cooped up for very long. 00:30:07.600 --> 00:30:10.300 align:middle line:84% You never had it so good, my buddies serenaded them. 00:30:10.300 --> 00:30:13.000 align:middle line:84% And oh, my ass doth bleed for you. 00:30:13.000 --> 00:30:15.700 align:middle line:90% Me, Mike, I kept quiet. 00:30:15.700 --> 00:30:18.190 align:middle line:84% In the still of the night, even with the weasel 00:30:18.190 --> 00:30:21.820 align:middle line:84% caught in a cage, their downy balls would drear regret it, 00:30:21.820 --> 00:30:23.320 align:middle line:90% but I didn't say so. 00:30:23.320 --> 00:30:24.910 align:middle line:90% I'm 23. 00:30:24.910 --> 00:30:28.750 align:middle line:84% I've been Sam's flightless caged bird for four years. 00:30:28.750 --> 00:30:33.550 align:middle line:84% I had no burning in my dodo heart to hassle the draftees. 00:30:33.550 --> 00:30:36.250 align:middle line:84% The sentries, they could have asked to see our papers, 00:30:36.250 --> 00:30:37.870 align:middle line:90% check our gear, they didn't. 00:30:37.870 --> 00:30:40.930 align:middle line:84% My sack and I were free and clear. 00:30:40.930 --> 00:30:45.070 align:middle line:84% We nigh came to stop beyond the gate, and unskilled at freedom, 00:30:45.070 --> 00:30:48.310 align:middle line:90% took our first shy look around. 00:30:48.310 --> 00:30:50.170 align:middle line:84% Every store facing the army camp gate 00:30:50.170 --> 00:30:52.638 align:middle line:84% with an improvised civilian clothing store. 00:30:52.638 --> 00:30:54.430 align:middle line:84% The merchant [INAUDIBLE] doorways beckoning 00:30:54.430 --> 00:30:56.710 align:middle line:90% like whores in sailor town. 00:30:56.710 --> 00:30:58.900 align:middle line:84% No one in our group had known any of the other eight 00:30:58.900 --> 00:31:01.540 align:middle line:84% before we processed out today, but now we 00:31:01.540 --> 00:31:05.320 align:middle line:84% turn toward one another and moved close. 00:31:05.320 --> 00:31:06.640 align:middle line:90% "Anyone want to find a tavern?" 00:31:06.640 --> 00:31:08.320 align:middle line:90% Sergeant Fetlock asked. 00:31:08.320 --> 00:31:10.480 align:middle line:84% A couple of the guys said, "Sure." 00:31:10.480 --> 00:31:13.450 align:middle line:84% The curly haired salutatorian said, "Hey, no kidding, man. 00:31:13.450 --> 00:31:15.700 align:middle line:84% We ought to come with him to the Baptist church, 00:31:15.700 --> 00:31:18.880 align:middle line:84% and there give thanks for safe deliverance." 00:31:18.880 --> 00:31:22.210 align:middle line:84% Fetlock, milder than I could have been said, "Well, he 00:31:22.210 --> 00:31:25.390 align:middle line:84% thought he'd just give thanks his own way, Lonnie." 00:31:25.390 --> 00:31:28.300 align:middle line:84% A slim black corporal of engineers with fingers missing 00:31:28.300 --> 00:31:31.780 align:middle line:84% said, "Bye bye, new clothes for him, but not the junk they 00:31:31.780 --> 00:31:33.970 align:middle line:90% sell here by the gate." 00:31:33.970 --> 00:31:37.510 align:middle line:84% Buck Sergeant Fetlock looked at me: Tavern, Mike? 00:31:37.510 --> 00:31:40.300 align:middle line:84% I smiled, wanting nothing more than to see 00:31:40.300 --> 00:31:42.700 align:middle line:84% what I might have hidden in my paper bag, 00:31:42.700 --> 00:31:45.462 align:middle line:84% and said, "No, thank you, Sergeant." 00:31:45.462 --> 00:31:46.670 align:middle line:90% "Did you get the mouthpiece?" 00:31:46.670 --> 00:31:48.940 align:middle line:90% Fetlock asked. 00:31:48.940 --> 00:31:50.110 align:middle line:90% "Good question. 00:31:50.110 --> 00:31:51.850 align:middle line:90% Good, my Sergeant." 00:31:51.850 --> 00:31:53.320 align:middle line:84% I don't have much blush left in me. 00:31:53.320 --> 00:31:55.900 align:middle line:84% I did a graceless Suzie Q to say farewell 00:31:55.900 --> 00:31:59.080 align:middle line:84% and took on [INAUDIBLE],, horn underarm. 00:31:59.080 --> 00:32:01.360 align:middle line:84% The sack was getting pretty nubbly. 00:32:01.360 --> 00:32:04.010 align:middle line:84% I held it tight, duffel in the other hand, 00:32:04.010 --> 00:32:08.440 align:middle line:84% used that bag grinding on my shoulders like a canvas kid. 00:32:08.440 --> 00:32:11.050 align:middle line:84% In my four years, this was the only chance 00:32:11.050 --> 00:32:13.510 align:middle line:90% I'd got for any decent looting. 00:32:13.510 --> 00:32:15.670 align:middle line:84% The raping and pillage openings out there 00:32:15.670 --> 00:32:17.590 align:middle line:90% hadn't been so hot either. 00:32:17.590 --> 00:32:20.020 align:middle line:84% So I stopped in the alley, sat on the duffel 00:32:20.020 --> 00:32:23.290 align:middle line:84% away from prying eyes, and withdrew the instrument 00:32:23.290 --> 00:32:25.690 align:middle line:90% to have a happy little float. 00:32:25.690 --> 00:32:27.430 align:middle line:90% It sorely puzzled me. 00:32:27.430 --> 00:32:30.610 align:middle line:84% Still does, there on its own sweet bed. 00:32:30.610 --> 00:32:33.980 align:middle line:84% It's too long and too plumpet to be a nice trumpet. 00:32:33.980 --> 00:32:37.390 align:middle line:84% Tubes are too straight, and it's got a really big and silly 00:32:37.390 --> 00:32:39.370 align:middle line:90% looking mouth. 00:32:39.370 --> 00:32:41.200 align:middle line:84% I looked down its bell there in the alley 00:32:41.200 --> 00:32:43.000 align:middle line:84% and pushed its valves in and out. 00:32:43.000 --> 00:32:45.730 align:middle line:90% It sort of simpered back. 00:32:45.730 --> 00:32:49.180 align:middle line:84% I tried grimacing at it, sneering, shook my head 00:32:49.180 --> 00:32:50.140 align:middle line:90% and frowned. 00:32:50.140 --> 00:32:53.500 align:middle line:84% Finally, I felt myself smile, and I said to the horn, 00:32:53.500 --> 00:32:56.620 align:middle line:84% "You goof," and put it back in the sack, 00:32:56.620 --> 00:32:59.230 align:middle line:84% where at it tucked itself under my arm 00:32:59.230 --> 00:33:01.930 align:middle line:90% like an ugly confident pet. 00:33:01.930 --> 00:33:04.210 align:middle line:84% And Sergeant Fetlock was quite right, by the way, 00:33:04.210 --> 00:33:07.360 align:middle line:90% I haven't got the mouthpiece. 00:33:07.360 --> 00:33:10.090 align:middle line:84% Maybe if they'd had a band waiting for me, and Fetlock, 00:33:10.090 --> 00:33:13.000 align:middle line:84% and Lonnie the Baptist, and the disfigured slim, black corporal 00:33:13.000 --> 00:33:15.580 align:middle line:84% of engineers, waiting at the end of the four year, 00:33:15.580 --> 00:33:19.300 align:middle line:84% 20,000 mile round bumpy trip, waiting when we finally 00:33:19.300 --> 00:33:21.970 align:middle line:84% slouched off the unheated bus from Nashville 00:33:21.970 --> 00:33:24.220 align:middle line:84% after the overheated train from Seattle, 00:33:24.220 --> 00:33:26.860 align:middle line:84% after the wallowing slow troop ship from Japan, 00:33:26.860 --> 00:33:30.280 align:middle line:84% maybe if smiling, standing straight, the army 00:33:30.280 --> 00:33:32.410 align:middle line:84% band from Ferriday had just been waiting 00:33:32.410 --> 00:33:35.710 align:middle line:84% there to start in playing "Welcome Home Guys" as we stood 00:33:35.710 --> 00:33:39.880 align:middle line:84% dead souled, dry eyed, to ourselves ever having said 00:33:39.880 --> 00:33:43.930 align:middle line:84% "this is our own, own native land, for Christ's sake," maybe 00:33:43.930 --> 00:33:46.420 align:middle line:84% then I would have left the man his horn. 00:33:46.420 --> 00:33:50.140 align:middle line:84% Now as it is, I quite enjoyed the image of him 00:33:50.140 --> 00:33:52.990 align:middle line:84% with that mouthpiece, nothing left to use it in, 00:33:52.990 --> 00:33:55.120 align:middle line:84% coming back from break to start back up 00:33:55.120 --> 00:33:58.340 align:middle line:84% rehearsing for some sweetheart little officer [INAUDIBLE].. 00:33:58.340 --> 00:34:01.060 align:middle line:84% Bet they're right now pulling on their nice pink pants 00:34:01.060 --> 00:34:02.830 align:middle line:90% to have a nice [AUDIO OUT]. 00:34:02.830 --> 00:34:04.343 align:middle line:90% "Hey, baby, [INAUDIBLE]." 00:34:04.343 --> 00:34:06.010 align:middle line:84% I don't think I actually called this out 00:34:06.010 --> 00:34:08.830 align:middle line:84% loud to the imaginary horn blower from my duffel 00:34:08.830 --> 00:34:10.268 align:middle line:90% in the alley, but maybe I did. 00:34:10.268 --> 00:34:12.310 align:middle line:84% "Hey, now, I got you a good idea for the officers 00:34:12.310 --> 00:34:13.360 align:middle line:90% entertainment." 00:34:13.360 --> 00:34:14.230 align:middle line:90% "OK." 00:34:14.230 --> 00:34:16.210 align:middle line:84% "How about you drop your khakis, bend over, 00:34:16.210 --> 00:34:19.900 align:middle line:84% ram that homeless mouthpiece halfway up and squeeze? 00:34:19.900 --> 00:34:21.610 align:middle line:84% And have your friend, the tuba player, 00:34:21.610 --> 00:34:23.372 align:middle line:84% blow some real high notes through it. 00:34:23.372 --> 00:34:25.330 align:middle line:84% [INAUDIBLE] open up your mouth to let them out, 00:34:25.330 --> 00:34:28.420 align:middle line:90% like bursts of joyous song." 00:34:28.420 --> 00:34:31.690 align:middle line:84% Oh, clean and smooth, this Michael mind of mine, 00:34:31.690 --> 00:34:33.699 align:middle line:84% exactly like a fine steel trap that's 00:34:33.699 --> 00:34:36.650 align:middle line:84% been left underwater for four years, sprung, rusted out, 00:34:36.650 --> 00:34:38.110 align:middle line:90% and [INAUDIBLE] it over. 00:34:38.110 --> 00:34:40.929 align:middle line:84% "Mourn, horn," I said there in the alley. 00:34:40.929 --> 00:34:42.790 align:middle line:84% I guess that part must have been out loud. 00:34:42.790 --> 00:34:45.370 align:middle line:84% "Let's find us a hotel and spend some of this mustardy ouch 00:34:45.370 --> 00:34:46.870 align:middle line:90% pay." 00:34:46.870 --> 00:34:49.610 align:middle line:84% And I strolled all along singing the well-known joyous song, 00:34:49.610 --> 00:34:52.400 align:middle line:84% "Mustardy ouch, custody couch, piss and douche, 00:34:52.400 --> 00:34:53.659 align:middle line:90% and over the river." 00:34:53.659 --> 00:34:56.690 align:middle line:84% Maybe it was the weasel who sprung my trap and left it, 00:34:56.690 --> 00:34:59.180 align:middle line:84% but I got a little snip of toenail 00:34:59.180 --> 00:35:01.580 align:middle line:90% off him here under my arm. 00:35:01.580 --> 00:35:05.720 align:middle line:84% So that made the horn more than a pet, it was my [AUDIO OUT],, 00:35:05.720 --> 00:35:10.250 align:middle line:84% my affianced, my too long, too fat, straight tubed, comical, 00:35:10.250 --> 00:35:12.140 align:middle line:90% and only girl. 00:35:12.140 --> 00:35:15.230 align:middle line:84% I smoothed her brown paper party hat in case 00:35:15.230 --> 00:35:17.060 align:middle line:84% the millinery police were out and looking. 00:35:17.060 --> 00:35:19.640 align:middle line:90% 00:35:19.640 --> 00:35:23.480 align:middle line:84% Now, I'll skip a little scene and pick up 00:35:23.480 --> 00:35:30.320 align:middle line:84% Mike again the next day with his horn at Merrill's Music Mart 00:35:30.320 --> 00:35:31.100 align:middle line:90% in Ferriday. 00:35:31.100 --> 00:35:33.200 align:middle line:90% He hasn't left North Carolina. 00:35:33.200 --> 00:35:37.940 align:middle line:84% And the song title here is "The best things in life are free." 00:35:37.940 --> 00:35:40.220 align:middle line:84% Standing behind the counter at Merrill's Music Mart 00:35:40.220 --> 00:35:44.630 align:middle line:84% when I walked in today with my no name horn back in its sack 00:35:44.630 --> 00:35:48.470 align:middle line:84% again was an amazing young clerk, the only male human 00:35:48.470 --> 00:35:50.030 align:middle line:84% I've ever seen who could be called 00:35:50.030 --> 00:35:53.960 align:middle line:84% China doll pretty, antique China doll. 00:35:53.960 --> 00:35:57.140 align:middle line:84% His hair was ash blonde, and he wears it in the first duck ass 00:35:57.140 --> 00:35:58.850 align:middle line:84% haircut I've seen outside of pictures 00:35:58.850 --> 00:36:01.820 align:middle line:84% in the Japanese edition of the Stars and Stripes. 00:36:01.820 --> 00:36:06.170 align:middle line:84% He has huge, dark lavender eyes, brows considerably darker 00:36:06.170 --> 00:36:09.230 align:middle line:84% than his hair, and [AUDIO OUT] the coral pigment is so bright, 00:36:09.230 --> 00:36:11.690 align:middle line:84% and the cleft in the upper lip so distinctly 00:36:11.690 --> 00:36:13.370 align:middle line:84% outlined that I thought for a moment 00:36:13.370 --> 00:36:15.350 align:middle line:90% he might be using makeup. 00:36:15.350 --> 00:36:17.600 align:middle line:84% His skin is creamy and almost transparent. 00:36:17.600 --> 00:36:19.670 align:middle line:84% You feel as if any moment you might 00:36:19.670 --> 00:36:23.360 align:middle line:84% start seeing X-ray shadows of his cheekbones through it. 00:36:23.360 --> 00:36:24.890 align:middle line:90% He's not a very big kid. 00:36:24.890 --> 00:36:26.960 align:middle line:90% He's probably 17. 00:36:26.960 --> 00:36:28.790 align:middle line:84% It was suddenly so spooky thinking 00:36:28.790 --> 00:36:33.380 align:middle line:84% he might be drafted soon that I came close to blurting out, 00:36:33.380 --> 00:36:35.810 align:middle line:84% "God, damn, don't ever let them draft you." 00:36:35.810 --> 00:36:37.340 align:middle line:90% But I didn't say that. 00:36:37.340 --> 00:36:39.710 align:middle line:84% Instead, I took Little Bighorn out of the bag, 00:36:39.710 --> 00:36:42.200 align:middle line:84% put her on the counter, keeping a hand behind the belt, 00:36:42.200 --> 00:36:44.910 align:middle line:84% and said, just like it happened all the time, 00:36:44.910 --> 00:36:47.235 align:middle line:90% "I say, I lost my mouthpiece." 00:36:47.235 --> 00:36:48.860 align:middle line:84% "Well, I don't wonder," said the clerk. 00:36:48.860 --> 00:36:51.830 align:middle line:84% "You always keep your horn in a paper sack." 00:36:51.830 --> 00:36:55.160 align:middle line:84% "Sure," I said, in a kind of doesn't everybody tone. 00:36:55.160 --> 00:36:57.200 align:middle line:84% "You'd ought to keep it in a case." 00:36:57.200 --> 00:36:58.430 align:middle line:90% "You got a case?" 00:36:58.430 --> 00:36:59.343 align:middle line:90% He shook his head. 00:36:59.343 --> 00:37:01.760 align:middle line:84% "I'm not even sure we got a mouthpiece for that," he said. 00:37:01.760 --> 00:37:03.890 align:middle line:90% "What is it anyhow?" 00:37:03.890 --> 00:37:05.510 align:middle line:84% It isn't exactly delicate looking, 00:37:05.510 --> 00:37:07.432 align:middle line:90% just a touch unearthly. 00:37:07.432 --> 00:37:09.890 align:middle line:84% Wouldn't they find Earth enough for this one in the chicken 00:37:09.890 --> 00:37:10.390 align:middle line:90% yard? 00:37:10.390 --> 00:37:13.760 align:middle line:84% It was a hateful vision, that boy in green fatigues 00:37:13.760 --> 00:37:15.980 align:middle line:84% with [AUDIO OUT] leering at him, and it still 00:37:15.980 --> 00:37:17.540 align:middle line:84% stuck right in the middle of my head 00:37:17.540 --> 00:37:19.940 align:middle line:90% between and behind the eyes. 00:37:19.940 --> 00:37:22.940 align:middle line:84% I said, "Mind seeing if you've got one?" 00:37:22.940 --> 00:37:23.810 align:middle line:90% "Case?" 00:37:23.810 --> 00:37:24.860 align:middle line:90% "Mouthpiece." 00:37:24.860 --> 00:37:25.790 align:middle line:90% "Mouthpiece for what? 00:37:25.790 --> 00:37:28.250 align:middle line:84% I mean, well, what in the world is that?" 00:37:28.250 --> 00:37:29.810 align:middle line:84% I leaned back casually and muttered 00:37:29.810 --> 00:37:31.185 align:middle line:84% a word of which he was meant only 00:37:31.185 --> 00:37:34.185 align:middle line:84% to hear the last syllable, "My duck ass horn." 00:37:34.185 --> 00:37:35.060 align:middle line:90% "Why, sure," he said. 00:37:35.060 --> 00:37:37.430 align:middle line:84% "I just never did see one before." 00:37:37.430 --> 00:37:39.440 align:middle line:90% He smiled and fetched. 00:37:39.440 --> 00:37:42.350 align:middle line:84% "Well, I know we got cornet, trumpet, and euphonium, got 00:37:42.350 --> 00:37:42.980 align:middle line:90% sousaphone. 00:37:42.980 --> 00:37:44.720 align:middle line:84% Well see, for the high school band here. 00:37:44.720 --> 00:37:46.670 align:middle line:90% We got quite a band." 00:37:46.670 --> 00:37:48.540 align:middle line:84% His effusive voice was pretty phoney. 00:37:48.540 --> 00:37:49.820 align:middle line:90% So was mine. 00:37:49.820 --> 00:37:50.670 align:middle line:90% "I could imagine. 00:37:50.670 --> 00:37:51.350 align:middle line:90% Are you in it?" 00:37:51.350 --> 00:37:52.640 align:middle line:90% No, he wasn't. 00:37:52.640 --> 00:37:54.380 align:middle line:84% And I didn't raise my lavender-eyed boy 00:37:54.380 --> 00:37:55.970 align:middle line:90% to be a soldier, either. 00:37:55.970 --> 00:37:58.850 align:middle line:84% I watched him mess around with his hand in a deep drawer that 00:37:58.850 --> 00:38:00.380 align:middle line:90% opened out of the counter. 00:38:00.380 --> 00:38:02.690 align:middle line:84% I leaned over so that I could see into it. 00:38:02.690 --> 00:38:06.320 align:middle line:84% It looked like the place where mouthpieces go to die. 00:38:06.320 --> 00:38:07.910 align:middle line:84% There were some new one in boxes. 00:38:07.910 --> 00:38:10.850 align:middle line:84% Mostly it was all tarnished pieces, and nicked and scarred, 00:38:10.850 --> 00:38:13.040 align:middle line:84% silver and chrome, and nickel and bronze. 00:38:13.040 --> 00:38:15.440 align:middle line:84% Washes and plating were on the way to what base metal? 00:38:15.440 --> 00:38:16.850 align:middle line:90% I do not know. 00:38:16.850 --> 00:38:20.060 align:middle line:84% "Trade-ins," my sideburned blonde boy said. 00:38:20.060 --> 00:38:21.750 align:middle line:84% "Well, [INAUDIBLE] can I find one. 00:38:21.750 --> 00:38:24.800 align:middle line:84% I can get you a dollar off if you got a trade-in." 00:38:24.800 --> 00:38:28.270 align:middle line:84% "Well, now, I swear to God, I just don't got one." 00:38:28.270 --> 00:38:29.302 align:middle line:90% It made him laugh. 00:38:29.302 --> 00:38:31.760 align:middle line:84% He started trying various with the second hand mouthpieces, 00:38:31.760 --> 00:38:34.760 align:middle line:84% one by one, to see if they'd go into the tube of the playing 00:38:34.760 --> 00:38:36.350 align:middle line:90% end of my horn. 00:38:36.350 --> 00:38:38.390 align:middle line:84% The cornet ones were tapered wrong, 00:38:38.390 --> 00:38:41.720 align:middle line:84% and the trumpet ones would just go in it a little way. 00:38:41.720 --> 00:38:45.620 align:middle line:84% "Just put it in a little way," said a smirky voice behind me. 00:38:45.620 --> 00:38:48.830 align:middle line:84% And I looked back to see a big pale, flaccid, jolly man 00:38:48.830 --> 00:38:52.550 align:middle line:84% around 40 in a green check jacket who'd 00:38:52.550 --> 00:38:55.250 align:middle line:84% come out of the back room of the store and paused. 00:38:55.250 --> 00:38:56.900 align:middle line:84% He was wearing black rimmed glasses. 00:38:56.900 --> 00:38:59.600 align:middle line:84% "E B Binky Jones," He said, addressing the clerk 00:38:59.600 --> 00:39:02.240 align:middle line:84% and raising his voice to falsetto on Binky 00:39:02.240 --> 00:39:04.010 align:middle line:84% "Can I just put it in a little way? 00:39:04.010 --> 00:39:06.210 align:middle line:90% It won't hurt, I promise." 00:39:06.210 --> 00:39:08.720 align:middle line:84% Then the green checked flaccid man went into an office 00:39:08.720 --> 00:39:12.320 align:middle line:84% off the sales floor laughing and closed the door. 00:39:12.320 --> 00:39:14.120 align:middle line:84% My side boy squeezed his mouth up tight 00:39:14.120 --> 00:39:16.700 align:middle line:84% and was trembling in a way that made the flesh of his cheek. 00:39:16.700 --> 00:39:19.850 align:middle line:84% The big dark, deep set lavender eyes teared up. 00:39:19.850 --> 00:39:21.565 align:middle line:90% I said "He'd be the boss, huh?" 00:39:21.565 --> 00:39:22.190 align:middle line:90% "Should matter. 00:39:22.190 --> 00:39:23.390 align:middle line:90% It doesn't matter." 00:39:23.390 --> 00:39:26.030 align:middle line:84% EB Jones turned loose his tightly held together mouth 00:39:26.030 --> 00:39:29.078 align:middle line:84% just long enough to say I'll kill him. 00:39:29.078 --> 00:39:31.370 align:middle line:84% Then he pulled the big showcase drawer all the way out, 00:39:31.370 --> 00:39:33.980 align:middle line:84% heaved it onto the counter in front of me, and ran. 00:39:33.980 --> 00:39:38.210 align:middle line:84% He went, obviously, to the washroom, in which dank sanctum 00:39:38.210 --> 00:39:41.420 align:middle line:84% I could tell from the briny smell of food and stomach acids 00:39:41.420 --> 00:39:44.780 align:middle line:84% when he got back he'd had to throw up. 00:39:44.780 --> 00:39:48.020 align:middle line:84% It's a sweet, true world I'm learning to drive myself around 00:39:48.020 --> 00:39:51.350 align:middle line:84% in, after the sweetness and truth into which I got myself 00:39:51.350 --> 00:39:54.230 align:middle line:90% towed away four years ago. 00:39:54.230 --> 00:40:00.920 align:middle line:84% By the time EB Jones emerged, purged of the urge to regurg, 00:40:00.920 --> 00:40:04.160 align:middle line:84% I'd sorted through some few of those mouthpieces 00:40:04.160 --> 00:40:06.620 align:middle line:84% and found one that by God merged. 00:40:06.620 --> 00:40:09.020 align:middle line:84% Stamped into the metal is the formula [INAUDIBLE] 00:40:09.020 --> 00:40:12.950 align:middle line:84% 10 and 1/2 CFL, which didn't mean a thing to me. 00:40:12.950 --> 00:40:14.720 align:middle line:84% But it slipped into my looted beauty 00:40:14.720 --> 00:40:17.540 align:middle line:84% like the ass piece of a jigsaw puzzle. 00:40:17.540 --> 00:40:20.720 align:middle line:84% When I saw EB brighter and tighter lipped than ever, 00:40:20.720 --> 00:40:23.000 align:middle line:84% it occurred to me to take this fitting mouthpiece out 00:40:23.000 --> 00:40:25.850 align:middle line:84% again and lay it aside mixed in with some others. 00:40:25.850 --> 00:40:28.100 align:middle line:90% "You find anything?" he asked? 00:40:28.100 --> 00:40:29.240 align:middle line:90% Not yet. 00:40:29.240 --> 00:40:30.660 align:middle line:90% "I sure am sorry." 00:40:30.660 --> 00:40:31.210 align:middle line:90% "It's OK. 00:40:31.210 --> 00:40:32.900 align:middle line:90% You'd be forgiven." 00:40:32.900 --> 00:40:34.850 align:middle line:84% "He makes me throw up pretty near every day," 00:40:34.850 --> 00:40:36.680 align:middle line:90% the young clerk said. 00:40:36.680 --> 00:40:38.660 align:middle line:90% The accent had lost class. 00:40:38.660 --> 00:40:42.290 align:middle line:84% It was hill pure billy now, and I liked it a lot. 00:40:42.290 --> 00:40:44.900 align:middle line:84% "Maybe one in that pile will fit," I said. 00:40:44.900 --> 00:40:47.990 align:middle line:84% "Pretty near every day talking or grabbing at me." 00:40:47.990 --> 00:40:50.180 align:middle line:84% Odd, it hadn't occurred to me to suppose 00:40:50.180 --> 00:40:53.450 align:middle line:84% they'd be effeminate before he said, just young and southern. 00:40:53.450 --> 00:40:55.160 align:middle line:90% Now I've begun to wonder. 00:40:55.160 --> 00:40:56.990 align:middle line:84% Meanwhile, he was picking up mouthpieces 00:40:56.990 --> 00:40:59.480 align:middle line:84% from the pile I'd made, trying them, sorting through. 00:40:59.480 --> 00:41:01.640 align:middle line:84% Sometimes what he likes to do is knock just 00:41:01.640 --> 00:41:05.030 align:middle line:84% with his knuckles like on the washroom door when I'm pissing, 00:41:05.030 --> 00:41:07.370 align:middle line:84% and he'll knock and stand out there breathing, 00:41:07.370 --> 00:41:10.700 align:middle line:84% and I just can't help but puke, and then he laughs. 00:41:10.700 --> 00:41:11.540 align:middle line:90% "Hey. 00:41:11.540 --> 00:41:12.200 align:middle line:90% Hey, look. 00:41:12.200 --> 00:41:13.010 align:middle line:90% Hey, look at this." 00:41:13.010 --> 00:41:14.093 align:middle line:90% Suddenly, he was grinning. 00:41:14.093 --> 00:41:15.110 align:middle line:90% "Hey, Soldier, look." 00:41:15.110 --> 00:41:16.310 align:middle line:90% He had it. 00:41:16.310 --> 00:41:20.120 align:middle line:84% [INAUDIBLE] 10 and 1/2 CFL snug into the horn. 00:41:20.120 --> 00:41:22.970 align:middle line:84% I grinned back and said, "Swell, goody, how much?" 00:41:22.970 --> 00:41:24.920 align:middle line:84% EB looked over at the office door, 00:41:24.920 --> 00:41:27.200 align:middle line:84% gave it a vicious corkscrew finger, 00:41:27.200 --> 00:41:29.150 align:middle line:90% and handed me the mouthpiece. 00:41:29.150 --> 00:41:32.670 align:middle line:84% I shrugged, smiled, and put it in my pocket, barely any time 00:41:32.670 --> 00:41:37.040 align:middle line:84% but still in motion when the office door opened. 00:41:37.040 --> 00:41:39.290 align:middle line:84% I looked over, and there was the man in black glasses 00:41:39.290 --> 00:41:42.980 align:middle line:84% and the green checked jacket looking back at me. 00:41:42.980 --> 00:41:44.900 align:middle line:84% Why do I know every detail of this clothing? 00:41:44.900 --> 00:41:46.100 align:middle line:90% I can't say. 00:41:46.100 --> 00:41:48.870 align:middle line:84% The pants were brown and baggy, the shoes brown and dull 00:41:48.870 --> 00:41:51.440 align:middle line:84% shined, and he wore a white sports shirt 00:41:51.440 --> 00:41:54.770 align:middle line:84% with a Peter Pan collar outside the lapel of the jacket. 00:41:54.770 --> 00:41:57.050 align:middle line:84% His face looked ripply now, as if I 00:41:57.050 --> 00:42:01.460 align:middle line:84% could see black close-shaved beard undulating, 00:42:01.460 --> 00:42:04.580 align:middle line:84% trying to grow up through the power of his flesh. 00:42:04.580 --> 00:42:08.510 align:middle line:84% He held my eyes for good long beat before he said, "Well, 00:42:08.510 --> 00:42:10.880 align:middle line:84% getting what you crave, soldier?" 00:42:10.880 --> 00:42:12.140 align:middle line:90% "You haven't got it." 00:42:12.140 --> 00:42:13.490 align:middle line:90% He came over to look. 00:42:13.490 --> 00:42:15.110 align:middle line:90% "Hey, [INAUDIBLE], flugelhorn. 00:42:15.110 --> 00:42:17.300 align:middle line:90% You need a mouthpiece, do you?" 00:42:17.300 --> 00:42:18.530 align:middle line:90% He reached. 00:42:18.530 --> 00:42:19.760 align:middle line:90% Flugelhorn? 00:42:19.760 --> 00:42:22.910 align:middle line:84% I didn't like it to be him who told me what it was I'd stolen. 00:42:22.910 --> 00:42:24.410 align:middle line:90% I said, "No, Nothing." 00:42:24.410 --> 00:42:25.740 align:middle line:90% The horn away. 00:42:25.740 --> 00:42:27.470 align:middle line:84% I didn't want him to touch it either. 00:42:27.470 --> 00:42:28.130 align:middle line:90% He didn't. 00:42:28.130 --> 00:42:29.780 align:middle line:84% Instead, he changed directions of grab 00:42:29.780 --> 00:42:31.800 align:middle line:84% and touched the young clerk's hand. 00:42:31.800 --> 00:42:34.310 align:middle line:84% EB snatched it off the blow torch. 00:42:34.310 --> 00:42:38.030 align:middle line:84% Green Beard shriggled and said in his soft, suggestive voice, 00:42:38.030 --> 00:42:40.910 align:middle line:84% "Where'd you get that flugel, soldier?" 00:42:40.910 --> 00:42:43.970 align:middle line:84% "Pawn shop," I said, "And I'm not a soldier." 00:42:43.970 --> 00:42:46.457 align:middle line:90% "What pawn shop was that?" 00:42:46.457 --> 00:42:48.290 align:middle line:84% "The one your mother runs to Friday nights," 00:42:48.290 --> 00:42:51.470 align:middle line:84% I said, "to sell her ass from Muscatel." 00:42:51.470 --> 00:42:53.240 align:middle line:90% It was my fear reaction. 00:42:53.240 --> 00:42:54.890 align:middle line:84% It's about all you learn in the army. 00:42:54.890 --> 00:42:57.172 align:middle line:90% When you're scared, hit. 00:42:57.172 --> 00:42:58.880 align:middle line:84% He was reaching again for the instrument, 00:42:58.880 --> 00:43:01.130 align:middle line:84% and I said, "Leave it the hell alone." 00:43:01.130 --> 00:43:04.350 align:middle line:84% His voice got really soft, which was really scary. 00:43:04.350 --> 00:43:06.290 align:middle line:84% "I can get you a mouthpiece," he said. 00:43:06.290 --> 00:43:09.170 align:middle line:84% And it sounded about the same to me as if he said, 00:43:09.170 --> 00:43:11.840 align:middle line:90% "I can call us a policeman." 00:43:11.840 --> 00:43:13.190 align:middle line:90% "The high school band ran out. 00:43:13.190 --> 00:43:14.150 align:middle line:90% He's got some extra. 00:43:14.150 --> 00:43:14.840 align:middle line:90% Got 'em from me. 00:43:14.840 --> 00:43:15.620 align:middle line:90% I know he does. 00:43:15.620 --> 00:43:18.590 align:middle line:84% So you come back now in the morning, hear?" 00:43:18.590 --> 00:43:20.510 align:middle line:90% Yes, I heard, we heard. 00:43:20.510 --> 00:43:23.390 align:middle line:90% Me and my fluted lugelhorn. 00:43:23.390 --> 00:43:25.820 align:middle line:84% There were no sirens in the street, but we wanted to run. 00:43:25.820 --> 00:43:29.990 align:middle line:84% We still do and can, and even got a mouthpiece, too. 00:43:29.990 --> 00:43:31.220 align:middle line:90% I've huffed it hard. 00:43:31.220 --> 00:43:33.980 align:middle line:84% I can't get a piff of sound out of it, but will. 00:43:33.980 --> 00:43:37.253 align:middle line:84% Oh, little horn of Ferriday, I want to leave here now. 00:43:37.253 --> 00:43:39.170 align:middle line:84% I want to go look for New Year's Eve tomorrow, 00:43:39.170 --> 00:43:40.940 align:middle line:90% any place but Carolina. 00:43:40.940 --> 00:43:42.710 align:middle line:90% So why not? 00:43:42.710 --> 00:43:45.200 align:middle line:84% Because when Green Beard [? flaccid ?] 00:43:45.200 --> 00:43:48.320 align:middle line:84% back into his awful orifice, a pale, coral-lipped kid 00:43:48.320 --> 00:43:49.790 align:middle line:84% with lavender eyes, who'd given me 00:43:49.790 --> 00:43:53.450 align:middle line:84% a fresh stole mouthpiece for my fresh stole flugelhorn, 00:43:53.450 --> 00:43:55.310 align:middle line:90% grabbed onto my wrist. 00:43:55.310 --> 00:43:57.890 align:middle line:84% EB Binky Jones grabbed it tight and asked me 00:43:57.890 --> 00:44:00.830 align:middle line:90% urgently, "What's your name?" 00:44:00.830 --> 00:44:01.940 align:middle line:90% it was a goddamn plea. 00:44:01.940 --> 00:44:03.500 align:middle line:90% "Mike," I said, "Mike Mizurin. 00:44:03.500 --> 00:44:05.790 align:middle line:84% And couldn't get my wrist back out of the vice 00:44:05.790 --> 00:44:07.807 align:middle line:84% unless I'd want to fight him for it. 00:44:07.807 --> 00:44:09.890 align:middle line:84% "You've got to come back tomorrow, Mike," he said. 00:44:09.890 --> 00:44:11.450 align:middle line:90% "That's what he wants." 00:44:11.450 --> 00:44:12.620 align:middle line:90% "Why?" 00:44:12.620 --> 00:44:13.850 align:middle line:90% "He's got some reason. 00:44:13.850 --> 00:44:15.620 align:middle line:84% Listen, if you don't, he'll know I'd 00:44:15.620 --> 00:44:18.920 align:middle line:84% give you that mouthpiece for your duck ass horn." 00:44:18.920 --> 00:44:20.720 align:middle line:84% "Let me pay for it," I said to EB. 00:44:20.720 --> 00:44:23.920 align:middle line:84% "Tell him you found it after he went back in to his office." 00:44:23.920 --> 00:44:26.270 align:middle line:90% EB Jones just clung. 00:44:26.270 --> 00:44:28.130 align:middle line:84% "Anyway, it's a flugelhorn," I said. 00:44:28.130 --> 00:44:29.360 align:middle line:90% He clung tigher. 00:44:29.360 --> 00:44:32.030 align:middle line:84% "All right," I said, and got my wrist back. 00:44:32.030 --> 00:44:34.920 align:middle line:90% "I'll be here." 00:44:34.920 --> 00:44:37.600 align:middle line:90% Make believe ballroom. 00:44:37.600 --> 00:44:40.000 align:middle line:84% This morning, in my letter box at the hotel, 00:44:40.000 --> 00:44:42.180 align:middle line:84% was a note on the back of a black sales 00:44:42.180 --> 00:44:44.370 align:middle line:90% slip from Merrill's Music Mart. 00:44:44.370 --> 00:44:46.500 align:middle line:84% Can't get your mouthpiece till after dinner. 00:44:46.500 --> 00:44:48.940 align:middle line:90% Come about 4:30 PM. 00:44:48.940 --> 00:44:49.795 align:middle line:90% Seems strange. 00:44:49.795 --> 00:44:52.170 align:middle line:84% I'd understood they were going to close the store at noon 00:44:52.170 --> 00:44:55.020 align:middle line:84% for the holiday, but when I went in an hour ago, 00:44:55.020 --> 00:44:57.420 align:middle line:84% EB Jones was right where he'd been behind the counter 00:44:57.420 --> 00:44:59.430 align:middle line:90% when I left the day before. 00:44:59.430 --> 00:45:01.590 align:middle line:84% He tried for a smile, but I could hear him sigh 00:45:01.590 --> 00:45:03.690 align:middle line:90% as I went by, horn in sack. 00:45:03.690 --> 00:45:05.670 align:middle line:90% First mouthpiece left behind. 00:45:05.670 --> 00:45:08.970 align:middle line:84% Into the office where the green cheeked man was sitting. 00:45:08.970 --> 00:45:11.730 align:middle line:84% Only today his green jacket was a different shade. 00:45:11.730 --> 00:45:13.560 align:middle line:84% I'm sorry, the green checked man. 00:45:13.560 --> 00:45:16.560 align:middle line:84% Only today his green jacket was a different shade, kelly green, 00:45:16.560 --> 00:45:20.400 align:middle line:84% maybe, with darker green and flecks, not checks. 00:45:20.400 --> 00:45:24.480 align:middle line:84% His shirt was unbelievable, orange with bone buckles. 00:45:24.480 --> 00:45:26.370 align:middle line:84% The cheeks were still loose and flaccid, 00:45:26.370 --> 00:45:28.320 align:middle line:84% the shaved area still dark and shifty, 00:45:28.320 --> 00:45:30.780 align:middle line:84% the glasses' rims black and somehow wet 00:45:30.780 --> 00:45:32.850 align:middle line:90% looking like reboiled coffee. 00:45:32.850 --> 00:45:34.230 align:middle line:90% "Hey, come on in," he said. 00:45:34.230 --> 00:45:35.670 align:middle line:90% He brung it. 00:45:35.670 --> 00:45:38.970 align:middle line:84% His office is small, with a little window about head level 00:45:38.970 --> 00:45:42.000 align:middle line:84% that opens into the same alley I traveled yesterday. 00:45:42.000 --> 00:45:44.700 align:middle line:84% There's a desk of golden oak, a chair behind 00:45:44.700 --> 00:45:47.220 align:middle line:84% and one in front, a pretty well filled room. 00:45:47.220 --> 00:45:48.720 align:middle line:90% "Give it here a minute." 00:45:48.720 --> 00:45:51.348 align:middle line:84% I stood there looking at him and shook my head no. 00:45:51.348 --> 00:45:52.890 align:middle line:84% He reached in one of the desk drawers 00:45:52.890 --> 00:45:55.050 align:middle line:90% and took out a small box. 00:45:55.050 --> 00:45:56.400 align:middle line:90% "Looky here." 00:45:56.400 --> 00:45:58.740 align:middle line:84% He opened the box and took out a silvery mouthpiece 00:45:58.740 --> 00:46:01.590 align:middle line:84% like the one I'd left behind but much shinier. 00:46:01.590 --> 00:46:03.630 align:middle line:84% He pointed it at me, leaned forward, 00:46:03.630 --> 00:46:06.430 align:middle line:84% and his voice went very, very soft. 00:46:06.430 --> 00:46:09.313 align:middle line:84% "Now, if you've got one of these already, 00:46:09.313 --> 00:46:11.730 align:middle line:84% it's going to be one you and little Binky found yesterday. 00:46:11.730 --> 00:46:12.300 align:middle line:90% Right? 00:46:12.300 --> 00:46:14.870 align:middle line:90% All right. 00:46:14.870 --> 00:46:18.080 align:middle line:84% I think there was one, but it's not there now. 00:46:18.080 --> 00:46:22.610 align:middle line:84% You've got your sales slip [INAUDIBLE] off him. 00:46:22.610 --> 00:46:24.470 align:middle line:84% Got your sales slip from that pawn shop 00:46:24.470 --> 00:46:25.760 align:middle line:90% you were telling about? 00:46:25.760 --> 00:46:27.530 align:middle line:90% There's only one in town. 00:46:27.530 --> 00:46:30.290 align:middle line:84% He don't think he sold no flugel, not yesterday, not 00:46:30.290 --> 00:46:32.000 align:middle line:90% ever." 00:46:32.000 --> 00:46:34.330 align:middle line:84% Then there was a nutty sort of shift into pathos. 00:46:34.330 --> 00:46:37.640 align:middle line:84% "Hey, pal, I couldn't buy me a flugelhorn this war. 00:46:37.640 --> 00:46:38.960 align:middle line:90% Things got so hard. 00:46:38.960 --> 00:46:40.940 align:middle line:90% Metal things, hard to get. 00:46:40.940 --> 00:46:45.520 align:middle line:84% See, look, now I got this one part, you got that other." 00:46:45.520 --> 00:46:47.510 align:middle line:90% "My parts not for sale," I said. 00:46:47.510 --> 00:46:49.245 align:middle line:90% "What do you want for yours?" 00:46:49.245 --> 00:46:50.870 align:middle line:84% I figured it was going to be a stickup. 00:46:50.870 --> 00:46:52.970 align:middle line:84% He could point that thing at me and make me 00:46:52.970 --> 00:46:55.610 align:middle line:90% pay whatever price he wanted. 00:46:55.610 --> 00:46:57.100 align:middle line:90% "Got a different notion. 00:46:57.100 --> 00:46:57.920 align:middle line:90% What did you trade? 00:46:57.920 --> 00:46:58.730 align:middle line:90% What did you trade it, though? 00:46:58.730 --> 00:46:59.438 align:middle line:90% Would you listen? 00:46:59.438 --> 00:47:00.480 align:middle line:90% What you want?" 00:47:00.480 --> 00:47:02.330 align:middle line:90% Bastard was practically singing. 00:47:02.330 --> 00:47:04.310 align:middle line:84% As he reached behind himself, down to a shelf, 00:47:04.310 --> 00:47:06.860 align:middle line:84% swung a case onto the desktop, and opened it, 00:47:06.860 --> 00:47:10.100 align:middle line:84% lovely and shining, nestling in blue green felt, 00:47:10.100 --> 00:47:14.060 align:middle line:84% was a perfect little horn, the petite and darling kid 00:47:14.060 --> 00:47:18.710 align:middle line:84% and shimmering sister of my fat and tarnished flame. 00:47:18.710 --> 00:47:20.630 align:middle line:84% "This is sure a nice cornet [INAUDIBLE].. 00:47:20.630 --> 00:47:22.910 align:middle line:84% The finest line there is, the best they make. 00:47:22.910 --> 00:47:24.900 align:middle line:84% Look here, she got the trigger, got the slide, 00:47:24.900 --> 00:47:27.140 align:middle line:84% got the quick round change to eight. 00:47:27.140 --> 00:47:28.130 align:middle line:90% Would you try it? 00:47:28.130 --> 00:47:29.290 align:middle line:90% Would you want it?" 00:47:29.290 --> 00:47:30.680 align:middle line:90% Oh yes I want it. 00:47:30.680 --> 00:47:33.620 align:middle line:84% Its bell caps and mother of pearl, more than a trumpet, 00:47:33.620 --> 00:47:35.480 align:middle line:84% more than anything else I've ever seen. 00:47:35.480 --> 00:47:37.490 align:middle line:90% "No thanks," I said. 00:47:37.490 --> 00:47:39.380 align:middle line:90% But green beard smiles. 00:47:39.380 --> 00:47:41.360 align:middle line:84% He put the cornet to his lips, he 00:47:41.360 --> 00:47:43.940 align:middle line:84% looked away toward his little window 00:47:43.940 --> 00:47:47.420 align:middle line:84% and played a short meditative phrase of blues, 00:47:47.420 --> 00:47:51.620 align:middle line:84% paused, and added another twice as long, slow and soft 00:47:51.620 --> 00:47:53.510 align:middle line:90% with quick hard edges. 00:47:53.510 --> 00:47:56.690 align:middle line:84% Then he repeated the pair with the hard and soft reverse, 00:47:56.690 --> 00:47:58.400 align:middle line:84% added a new phrase, medium speed, 00:47:58.400 --> 00:48:00.290 align:middle line:84% and prayed, resolved the whole thing 00:48:00.290 --> 00:48:02.240 align:middle line:84% in an unexpected burst of double time. 00:48:02.240 --> 00:48:05.960 align:middle line:84% But then the bastard retarded his resolution 00:48:05.960 --> 00:48:09.770 align:middle line:84% for a final repetition, and God was coming out 00:48:09.770 --> 00:48:13.490 align:middle line:84% so sad and gold like a gauzy girl and sun 00:48:13.490 --> 00:48:16.370 align:middle line:84% glow putting flowers on a soldier's grave, 00:48:16.370 --> 00:48:19.880 align:middle line:84% and I never, never wanted him to stop. 00:48:19.880 --> 00:48:23.780 align:middle line:84% Yes, I yearned for an instrument with sounds like those in it. 00:48:23.780 --> 00:48:25.910 align:middle line:84% Green [INAUDIBLE] smiled his flaccid smile 00:48:25.910 --> 00:48:29.180 align:middle line:84% and slightly did extend the gleaming cornet toward me. 00:48:29.180 --> 00:48:33.080 align:middle line:84% I sat down then, but I hugged big silly tighter. 00:48:33.080 --> 00:48:37.550 align:middle line:84% Green took off his blacks and showed dark, hurt naked eyes. 00:48:37.550 --> 00:48:39.630 align:middle line:84% I think he felt he almost had me. 00:48:39.630 --> 00:48:40.640 align:middle line:90% "Hey," he crooned. 00:48:40.640 --> 00:48:45.802 align:middle line:84% "Hey, pal, you know anything at all about that psychology?" 00:48:45.802 --> 00:48:47.885 align:middle line:84% It could have been the start of the book with what 00:48:47.885 --> 00:48:48.935 align:middle line:90% he'd been playing. 00:48:48.935 --> 00:48:49.845 align:middle line:90% "Huh?" 00:48:49.845 --> 00:48:50.345 align:middle line:90% "Psychology. 00:48:50.345 --> 00:48:52.160 align:middle line:84% I thought maybe you'd been to college." 00:48:52.160 --> 00:48:53.625 align:middle line:90% "Sure." 00:48:53.625 --> 00:48:54.125 align:middle line:90% "Psychology. 00:48:54.125 --> 00:48:57.710 align:middle line:84% I thought maybe junior college just before the war," I said. 00:48:57.710 --> 00:49:00.590 align:middle line:84% "Long time, and let me tell you, I wish I had a look. 00:49:00.590 --> 00:49:02.840 align:middle line:84% I bet you thought I shouldn't say that thing I said 00:49:02.840 --> 00:49:04.500 align:middle line:90% too little Binky yesterday. 00:49:04.500 --> 00:49:06.830 align:middle line:90% You thinking that way, pal?" 00:49:06.830 --> 00:49:08.330 align:middle line:90% "Your business," I said. 00:49:08.330 --> 00:49:11.780 align:middle line:84% "Jones did mention the possibility of killing you." 00:49:11.780 --> 00:49:13.460 align:middle line:90% Green Beardie smiled a smile. 00:49:13.460 --> 00:49:15.380 align:middle line:90% "Sensitive, ain't he?" 00:49:15.380 --> 00:49:17.630 align:middle line:90% I kept my smile to myself. 00:49:17.630 --> 00:49:20.810 align:middle line:84% "Now that's a little old country boy, E Binky Jones, from way 00:49:20.810 --> 00:49:22.430 align:middle line:90% back up the hill. 00:49:22.430 --> 00:49:24.800 align:middle line:84% Takes guitar country good and sing those country 00:49:24.800 --> 00:49:26.300 align:middle line:90% high sweet songs. 00:49:26.300 --> 00:49:27.200 align:middle line:90% Got him a girl now. 00:49:27.200 --> 00:49:28.813 align:middle line:90% That surprise you?" 00:49:28.813 --> 00:49:29.480 align:middle line:90% "Why should it?" 00:49:29.480 --> 00:49:30.320 align:middle line:90% I asked. 00:49:30.320 --> 00:49:33.140 align:middle line:84% "Well, it seems like sometimes he's about half girl hisself. 00:49:33.140 --> 00:49:34.820 align:middle line:90% You didn't notice?" 00:49:34.820 --> 00:49:36.132 align:middle line:90% I stood up again. 00:49:36.132 --> 00:49:37.340 align:middle line:90% "Now, wait right there, horn. 00:49:37.340 --> 00:49:40.130 align:middle line:84% You studying up that junior psychology there in college? 00:49:40.130 --> 00:49:41.840 align:middle line:90% You might set me straight." 00:49:41.840 --> 00:49:44.030 align:middle line:84% "Maybe you'll say I'm doing wrong, but listen first. 00:49:44.030 --> 00:49:47.480 align:middle line:84% When EB was a little fella, his big brother Marvin, 00:49:47.480 --> 00:49:49.790 align:middle line:90% see these boys are my nephews." 00:49:49.790 --> 00:49:51.710 align:middle line:84% He stood the little cornet on its bell, 00:49:51.710 --> 00:49:54.290 align:middle line:84% turned it slowly so [INAUDIBLE] light caressing 00:49:54.290 --> 00:49:55.520 align:middle line:90% its pearly valence. 00:49:55.520 --> 00:49:58.010 align:middle line:90% "Sister's boys, anyhow. 00:49:58.010 --> 00:49:59.450 align:middle line:90% Big Marvin's kind of bad. 00:49:59.450 --> 00:50:00.920 align:middle line:90% Now see, he'd come home drunk. 00:50:00.920 --> 00:50:03.650 align:middle line:84% They was poor, lived in a little hutch back in the hills. 00:50:03.650 --> 00:50:05.540 align:middle line:84% So then the boys slept in the same bed, 00:50:05.540 --> 00:50:06.790 align:middle line:90% and Marvin would get in there. 00:50:06.790 --> 00:50:10.280 align:middle line:84% Well, and drunk, like I said, with EB, and turn him over." 00:50:10.280 --> 00:50:11.210 align:middle line:90% "What?" 00:50:11.210 --> 00:50:12.050 align:middle line:90% "Turn it over. 00:50:12.050 --> 00:50:12.732 align:middle line:90% Put it to him. 00:50:12.732 --> 00:50:13.940 align:middle line:90% And here's just what I think. 00:50:13.940 --> 00:50:15.410 align:middle line:90% Now, maybe you can help me. 00:50:15.410 --> 00:50:17.450 align:middle line:84% EB, he's just that shy, I have to push 00:50:17.450 --> 00:50:21.770 align:middle line:84% and push to get him to play and sing in public. 00:50:21.770 --> 00:50:23.555 align:middle line:84% But he does, a place called Rombo's. 00:50:23.555 --> 00:50:25.430 align:middle line:84% He's getting straight, going to be all right. 00:50:25.430 --> 00:50:26.060 align:middle line:90% I'm his uncle. 00:50:26.060 --> 00:50:27.230 align:middle line:90% That's what I'm hoping now. 00:50:27.230 --> 00:50:29.510 align:middle line:84% You think EB ought to pretend that with Marvin never 00:50:29.510 --> 00:50:30.680 align:middle line:90% happened? 00:50:30.680 --> 00:50:34.460 align:middle line:84% Ain't it psychology that EBs got to say, hell yes, that happened 00:50:34.460 --> 00:50:35.750 align:middle line:90% to me, now forget it. 00:50:35.750 --> 00:50:37.880 align:middle line:84% Cause old drunk Marvin that's in jail now. 00:50:37.880 --> 00:50:41.210 align:middle line:84% And anyway, and EB just go on about his guitar 00:50:41.210 --> 00:50:41.922 align:middle line:90% picking business. 00:50:41.922 --> 00:50:43.380 align:middle line:84% Now, that's why I bring up singing. 00:50:43.380 --> 00:50:45.080 align:middle line:90% Ain't I right?" 00:50:45.080 --> 00:50:45.680 align:middle line:90% "No," I said. 00:50:45.680 --> 00:50:46.263 align:middle line:90% "You're wrong. 00:50:46.263 --> 00:50:48.650 align:middle line:90% 00:50:48.650 --> 00:50:50.240 align:middle line:84% "The way you do it makes him sick. 00:50:50.240 --> 00:50:52.280 align:middle line:84% I think you ought to let the kid alone." 00:50:52.280 --> 00:50:53.540 align:middle line:90% "Is that right?" 00:50:53.540 --> 00:50:55.070 align:middle line:90% "It's damn right," I said. 00:50:55.070 --> 00:50:56.510 align:middle line:90% He dropped his chin. 00:50:56.510 --> 00:50:58.010 align:middle line:90% He halfway nodded. 00:50:58.010 --> 00:51:00.800 align:middle line:84% Then he smiled a new beard shadowed 00:51:00.800 --> 00:51:03.560 align:middle line:84% pale green smile, hand dog and winning, 00:51:03.560 --> 00:51:06.710 align:middle line:84% laid the cornet in its case where it kept gleaning at me 00:51:06.710 --> 00:51:09.725 align:middle line:84% and said, "Need a fake book, don't you? 00:51:09.725 --> 00:51:10.850 align:middle line:90% Say, tell me your name now. 00:51:10.850 --> 00:51:12.830 align:middle line:90% Willie, please sit down." 00:51:12.830 --> 00:51:14.580 align:middle line:90% "Willie, please," I said. 00:51:14.580 --> 00:51:15.810 align:middle line:90% "Come on, now." 00:51:15.810 --> 00:51:17.970 align:middle line:90% "Mike, I told you," and sat. 00:51:17.970 --> 00:51:19.320 align:middle line:90% He nodded. 00:51:19.320 --> 00:51:22.050 align:middle line:84% He got up and went to the office door, 00:51:22.050 --> 00:51:24.930 align:middle line:84% opened it, as if to make sure no one was listening, closed it, 00:51:24.930 --> 00:51:26.460 align:middle line:90% and locked it. 00:51:26.460 --> 00:51:28.950 align:middle line:90% "Fake book," he whispered. 00:51:28.950 --> 00:51:30.720 align:middle line:90% "Got one to go with your horn." 00:51:30.720 --> 00:51:32.970 align:middle line:84% I didn't have the slightest notion what he was talking 00:51:32.970 --> 00:51:34.830 align:middle line:90% about, and I'm sure it showed. 00:51:34.830 --> 00:51:37.650 align:middle line:84% Everything I feel shows on my idiot face. 00:51:37.650 --> 00:51:40.410 align:middle line:84% But the green slick man managed to ignore it. 00:51:40.410 --> 00:51:41.342 align:middle line:90% "Bet you don't. 00:51:41.342 --> 00:51:43.050 align:middle line:84% Bet you've been in the army all this time 00:51:43.050 --> 00:51:44.980 align:middle line:90% and lost it, kind of forgot it. 00:51:44.980 --> 00:51:48.300 align:middle line:84% You sure remember how goddamn illegal it is, won't you?" 00:51:48.300 --> 00:51:50.580 align:middle line:84% Well, he proved-- he was in a drawer in his desk 00:51:50.580 --> 00:51:53.190 align:middle line:84% getting out a fat book, 8 and 1/2 by 11 00:51:53.190 --> 00:51:56.880 align:middle line:84% with a brown, light cardboard cover in a spiral binding. 00:51:56.880 --> 00:52:01.050 align:middle line:84% He slid up toward me, "Touch it, you go to jail." 00:52:01.050 --> 00:52:03.630 align:middle line:84% I didn't touch it, but I read the title, 00:52:03.630 --> 00:52:07.470 align:middle line:90% Volume 1 of Over 1,000 Songs. 00:52:07.470 --> 00:52:09.290 align:middle line:90% "If you say so," I muttered. 00:52:09.290 --> 00:52:11.250 align:middle line:90% I wanted to touch it. 00:52:11.250 --> 00:52:14.640 align:middle line:84% "Mike, you're not some kind of cop," he said. 00:52:14.640 --> 00:52:16.440 align:middle line:90% Limited editions of the cover. 00:52:16.440 --> 00:52:17.520 align:middle line:90% Professional use only. 00:52:17.520 --> 00:52:19.230 align:middle line:90% Price, $50. 00:52:19.230 --> 00:52:20.370 align:middle line:90% I touched it. 00:52:20.370 --> 00:52:23.760 align:middle line:84% I flipped it, and it opened to page 63. 00:52:23.760 --> 00:52:25.530 align:middle line:84% There were choruses of three songs there, 00:52:25.530 --> 00:52:27.930 align:middle line:84% "A Little Bit of Heaven," "Pretty Baby," "Prisoner 00:52:27.930 --> 00:52:29.220 align:middle line:90% of Love." 00:52:29.220 --> 00:52:32.070 align:middle line:84% The melody for each was written on one staff of treble clef 00:52:32.070 --> 00:52:33.743 align:middle line:90% with the lyric below it. 00:52:33.743 --> 00:52:35.160 align:middle line:84% "Alone from night to night, you'll 00:52:35.160 --> 00:52:38.280 align:middle line:84% find me too weak to break the chains that bind me." 00:52:38.280 --> 00:52:41.100 align:middle line:84% And above the staff, rendered in abbreviations for chords 00:52:41.100 --> 00:52:44.460 align:middle line:84% like a flat seventh and F minor, the series of chords 00:52:44.460 --> 00:52:47.650 align:middle line:84% for harmonizing which are called the changes. 00:52:47.650 --> 00:52:49.490 align:middle line:84% I might never have heard of the fake book, 00:52:49.490 --> 00:52:51.480 align:middle line:84% but I'd heard of the copyright law, 00:52:51.480 --> 00:52:53.460 align:middle line:90% and I understood Green Beard. 00:52:53.460 --> 00:52:55.200 align:middle line:90% Still, it wasn't fear. 00:52:55.200 --> 00:52:57.930 align:middle line:84% I turned to page 176 and saw "Cherry," 00:52:57.930 --> 00:53:00.090 align:middle line:90% "Chicago," "China White." 00:53:00.090 --> 00:53:04.260 align:middle line:84% Not fear that made my pores pump cool and body hairs stand up, 00:53:04.260 --> 00:53:06.840 align:middle line:84% it was pure thrill, as if he'd handed me 00:53:06.840 --> 00:53:09.330 align:middle line:90% a working book of magic spells. 00:53:09.330 --> 00:53:12.150 align:middle line:84% These are the songs, shallow and sentimental every one, 00:53:12.150 --> 00:53:14.560 align:middle line:84% but absolutely profound in the depths 00:53:14.560 --> 00:53:19.333 align:middle line:84% to which they can stir memory, revive hope, promise beauty. 00:53:19.333 --> 00:53:21.750 align:middle line:84% And they are the songs even more important for nut like me 00:53:21.750 --> 00:53:22.740 align:middle line:90% of jazz. 00:53:22.740 --> 00:53:26.100 align:middle line:84% The canon of jazz, like Homer, the Greek tragedy, 00:53:26.100 --> 00:53:28.470 align:middle line:84% or the nut who wrote the chronicles to Shakespeare's 00:53:28.470 --> 00:53:30.090 align:middle line:90% history plays. 00:53:30.090 --> 00:53:32.580 align:middle line:84% "Mike, Mike, name a song," the man said. 00:53:32.580 --> 00:53:33.780 align:middle line:90% "Ja-Da." 00:53:33.780 --> 00:53:34.590 align:middle line:90% "Turn to 190." 00:53:34.590 --> 00:53:37.320 align:middle line:84% He said this in a tone so close to reverence 00:53:37.320 --> 00:53:39.390 align:middle line:84% that he could have added "Let us pray," 00:53:39.390 --> 00:53:41.970 align:middle line:84% and maybe I would have landed on my knees. 00:53:41.970 --> 00:53:43.140 align:middle line:90% 190, yes. 00:53:43.140 --> 00:53:46.290 align:middle line:84% "I Would Do Anything For You," "Jazz Me Blues," and "Ja-Da" 00:53:46.290 --> 00:53:47.940 align:middle line:90% in the middle. 00:53:47.940 --> 00:53:49.306 align:middle line:90% "Ja-Da." 00:53:49.306 --> 00:53:52.140 align:middle line:84% Oh, didn't that green flecked shit play "Ja-Da" 00:53:52.140 --> 00:53:54.840 align:middle line:84% on his little [INAUDIBLE] cornet? 00:53:54.840 --> 00:53:57.690 align:middle line:84% It is not [INAUDIBLE] "Ja-Da" fast, nor did he. 00:53:57.690 --> 00:54:00.390 align:middle line:84% It is played as if it were a ballad in such a way that 00:54:00.390 --> 00:54:03.870 align:middle line:84% the nonsense words "Ja-da, ja-da, jing, jing, jing" 00:54:03.870 --> 00:54:07.260 align:middle line:84% sounding in one's head become poignant. 00:54:07.260 --> 00:54:09.690 align:middle line:84% If oh, "Didn't He Ramble" is "Taps" 00:54:09.690 --> 00:54:12.870 align:middle line:84% for the funeral of a Black jazz musician, maybe "Ja-Da" 00:54:12.870 --> 00:54:15.390 align:middle line:84% would be "Taps" for the funeral of a white man. 00:54:15.390 --> 00:54:16.950 align:middle line:84% But the green and flaccid bastard 00:54:16.950 --> 00:54:18.750 align:middle line:84% didn't give me time to think of anything like that. 00:54:18.750 --> 00:54:20.625 align:middle line:84% "You name a song," [INAUDIBLE] said urgently. 00:54:20.625 --> 00:54:21.600 align:middle line:90% "You name one." 00:54:21.600 --> 00:54:23.070 align:middle line:90% "Ghost Of A Chance." 00:54:23.070 --> 00:54:24.510 align:middle line:90% "You turn to 21, bald Mike. 00:54:24.510 --> 00:54:26.310 align:middle line:90% You turn there." 00:54:26.310 --> 00:54:29.130 align:middle line:84% He was playing that sweet strange song 00:54:29.130 --> 00:54:32.010 align:middle line:84% already before I reached the page, vaporizing it 00:54:32.010 --> 00:54:35.820 align:middle line:84% into a cascade of rending sounds like perfect paper tearing 00:54:35.820 --> 00:54:38.490 align:middle line:84% perfectly as he came out of the release. 00:54:38.490 --> 00:54:40.740 align:middle line:84% And he had barely finished before the cased cornet was 00:54:40.740 --> 00:54:43.410 align:middle line:84% in one of my hands, the fake book in a paper 00:54:43.410 --> 00:54:46.070 align:middle line:84% sack in the other, the flugelhorn in Green Beard's 00:54:46.070 --> 00:54:49.920 align:middle line:84% lap, and me, Mike, on my way out of the office, 00:54:49.920 --> 00:54:53.490 align:middle line:84% the door to which I heard him close and lock behind me. 00:54:53.490 --> 00:54:56.760 align:middle line:84% I stared at EB Jones still standing behind his counter. 00:54:56.760 --> 00:55:00.030 align:middle line:84% I was too dazed by the music, who he was, at first. 00:55:00.030 --> 00:55:02.590 align:middle line:84% EB looked a little dazed himself. 00:55:02.590 --> 00:55:04.240 align:middle line:90% "He didn't ever," EB said. 00:55:04.240 --> 00:55:05.070 align:middle line:90% "What?" 00:55:05.070 --> 00:55:06.450 align:middle line:90% "That there. 00:55:06.450 --> 00:55:08.010 align:middle line:90% It's his cornet you got." 00:55:08.010 --> 00:55:09.600 align:middle line:90% I nodded. 00:55:09.600 --> 00:55:12.570 align:middle line:84% "God almighty, he'd given me his cornet? 00:55:12.570 --> 00:55:14.246 align:middle line:90% I guess we swapped." 00:55:14.246 --> 00:55:15.510 align:middle line:90% "Swapped? 00:55:15.510 --> 00:55:16.470 align:middle line:90% Oh, my. 00:55:16.470 --> 00:55:18.780 align:middle line:84% God damn, he must have wanted that some kind of horn 00:55:18.780 --> 00:55:19.980 align:middle line:90% of yours." 00:55:19.980 --> 00:55:25.740 align:middle line:84% I started coming to them and said, "He might quit riding. 00:55:25.740 --> 00:55:28.320 align:middle line:84% EB, he's your uncle, [INAUDIBLE].. 00:55:28.320 --> 00:55:30.030 align:middle line:90% He told me about your brother." 00:55:30.030 --> 00:55:31.350 align:middle line:90% "My what?" 00:55:31.350 --> 00:55:33.690 align:middle line:84% "Your brother Marvin that's in jail." 00:55:33.690 --> 00:55:35.160 align:middle line:90% "God, all mighty. 00:55:35.160 --> 00:55:36.630 align:middle line:90% You've got a brother?" 00:55:36.630 --> 00:55:38.670 align:middle line:90% "Got one sister is all." 00:55:38.670 --> 00:55:41.310 align:middle line:84% "Hey, he's been-- you don't come from a little hutch way 00:55:41.310 --> 00:55:43.200 align:middle line:90% back up in the hills?" 00:55:43.200 --> 00:55:45.840 align:middle line:84% "Lived here in Ferriday my whole dang life." 00:55:45.840 --> 00:55:48.090 align:middle line:84% "Don't you play guitar and sing?" 00:55:48.090 --> 00:55:49.980 align:middle line:84% "He'd been telling you his lies." 00:55:49.980 --> 00:55:52.140 align:middle line:84% "You don't sing at a place called Rombos?" 00:55:52.140 --> 00:55:53.400 align:middle line:90% "He sure can mix 'em. 00:55:53.400 --> 00:55:54.855 align:middle line:90% Yes, sir, I play at Rombos. 00:55:54.855 --> 00:55:55.980 align:middle line:90% No, sir, don't sing at all. 00:55:55.980 --> 00:55:56.670 align:middle line:90% Sister sings. 00:55:56.670 --> 00:55:57.390 align:middle line:90% We twins. 00:55:57.390 --> 00:56:00.960 align:middle line:84% And me, and there's a trio, we come in, we play some." 00:56:00.960 --> 00:56:01.790 align:middle line:90% I shook my head. 00:56:01.790 --> 00:56:08.310 align:middle line:84% "EB, sir, do you know anything at all about that psychology?" 00:56:08.310 --> 00:56:10.020 align:middle line:84% That was it, pretty much, though he 00:56:10.020 --> 00:56:12.040 align:middle line:84% did say that Rombos was just down the street. 00:56:12.040 --> 00:56:13.380 align:middle line:84% They'd be playing New Year's Eve tonight. 00:56:13.380 --> 00:56:15.530 align:middle line:84% "Why didn't I come, get me free drinks," he said. 00:56:15.530 --> 00:56:18.320 align:middle line:84% "And hey, bring that horn, that cornet there, sit in. 00:56:18.320 --> 00:56:20.600 align:middle line:84% There'd be sure to be some drinks then." 00:56:20.600 --> 00:56:21.320 align:middle line:90% I said "Thanks. 00:56:21.320 --> 00:56:22.748 align:middle line:90% I wasn't hurting for money." 00:56:22.748 --> 00:56:25.040 align:middle line:84% "You should bring that horn there, give us more sound." 00:56:25.040 --> 00:56:26.060 align:middle line:90% I smiled. 00:56:26.060 --> 00:56:28.730 align:middle line:84% "See you later," I said, backing away. 00:56:28.730 --> 00:56:30.380 align:middle line:90% "You're going to sit in now?" 00:56:30.380 --> 00:56:31.460 align:middle line:90% I waved. 00:56:31.460 --> 00:56:33.500 align:middle line:84% Glad to have some place to go later. 00:56:33.500 --> 00:56:36.440 align:middle line:84% I faded out the door like the ghost of a chance, 00:56:36.440 --> 00:56:39.630 align:middle line:84% like "Ja-Da," like a prisoner of war. 00:56:39.630 --> 00:56:41.900 align:middle line:90% I turned toward the hotel. 00:56:41.900 --> 00:56:44.540 align:middle line:84% As I went by the entrance to my familiar alley 00:56:44.540 --> 00:56:48.680 align:middle line:84% onto which Green's office window opened, music stopped me, 00:56:48.680 --> 00:56:51.800 align:middle line:84% music pulled me up the alley, under the window. 00:56:51.800 --> 00:56:54.320 align:middle line:90% It was "Georgia On My Mind." 00:56:54.320 --> 00:56:57.590 align:middle line:84% Nobody had to tell me it was being played on a flugelhorn. 00:56:57.590 --> 00:57:01.220 align:middle line:84% Nobody had to tell me what horn or who was playing it. 00:57:01.220 --> 00:57:05.450 align:middle line:84% Trombone mellow, and the trumpet range by a flugelhorn. 00:57:05.450 --> 00:57:09.990 align:middle line:84% All was fair, and the lover she deserved had won it from me. 00:57:09.990 --> 00:57:12.890 align:middle line:84% "Georgia, Georgia, the thought of you." 00:57:12.890 --> 00:57:17.900 align:middle line:84% There was no blare to it, no edge, yet the notes were round. 00:57:17.900 --> 00:57:20.750 align:middle line:84% Just an old sweet song, round on the ends 00:57:20.750 --> 00:57:22.130 align:middle line:90% and high in the middle. 00:57:22.130 --> 00:57:25.520 align:middle line:84% As I listened, I thought it was a soldier after all 00:57:25.520 --> 00:57:28.910 align:middle line:84% who held pale flowers, and that he'd searched forever 00:57:28.910 --> 00:57:32.600 align:middle line:84% for the lost grave grown wild of the gauzy sun globe 00:57:32.600 --> 00:57:36.620 align:middle line:84% girl, another course started in [INAUDIBLE].. 00:57:36.620 --> 00:57:38.660 align:middle line:84% It was as if the notes were thoughts 00:57:38.660 --> 00:57:40.790 align:middle line:84% and the players surrounding them with music, 00:57:40.790 --> 00:57:44.390 align:middle line:84% sliding and tumbling them to clarity and purification 00:57:44.390 --> 00:57:45.770 align:middle line:90% to their horn. 00:57:45.770 --> 00:57:49.100 align:middle line:84% I opened the cornet case, took the little beauty out, 00:57:49.100 --> 00:57:51.470 align:middle line:90% put in its small mouthpiece. 00:57:51.470 --> 00:57:54.320 align:middle line:84% I closed the case, set it onto the bridge of the alley, 00:57:54.320 --> 00:57:57.680 align:middle line:84% and sat down on it, leaning against the stucco wall 00:57:57.680 --> 00:57:59.360 align:middle line:90% under the high window. 00:57:59.360 --> 00:58:02.300 align:middle line:84% I opened the fake book to the index, found my number, 00:58:02.300 --> 00:58:06.750 align:middle line:84% turned to page 182, and there it was at the top, "Georgia On My 00:58:06.750 --> 00:58:07.250 align:middle line:90% Mind." 00:58:07.250 --> 00:58:09.110 align:middle line:84% I put the little horn to my lips, 00:58:09.110 --> 00:58:12.500 align:middle line:84% and then pressing down on one valve, now two, 00:58:12.500 --> 00:58:15.920 align:middle line:84% now three at random, I blew sound asleep, 00:58:15.920 --> 00:58:20.891 align:middle line:84% a small puff for each note of his, pretending I could play. 00:58:20.891 --> 00:58:24.867 align:middle line:90% [CLAPPING] 00:58:24.867 --> 00:58:44.747 align:middle line:90% 00:58:44.747 --> 00:59:15.064 align:middle line:90% [JAZZ HORN MUSIC PLAYING] 00:59:15.064 --> 00:59:16.780 align:middle line:90% [INAUDIBLE] 00:59:16.780 --> 00:59:17.380 align:middle line:90% Woo! 00:59:17.380 --> 00:59:21.330 align:middle line:90% [CLAPPING] 00:59:21.330 --> 00:59:32.000 align:middle line:90%