WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:01.590 align:middle line:90% 00:00:01.590 --> 00:00:07.035 align:middle line:84% So it's a funny-looking book that is-- 00:00:07.035 --> 00:00:09.610 align:middle line:90% 00:00:09.610 --> 00:00:13.600 align:middle line:84% well, I handwrote it because I was on the bus. 00:00:13.600 --> 00:00:18.010 align:middle line:84% And the good people at Solid Objects 00:00:18.010 --> 00:00:23.000 align:middle line:84% are doing an incredible thing of making a real book out of it, 00:00:23.000 --> 00:00:25.483 align:middle line:84% which I almost didn't imagine, because it was such 00:00:25.483 --> 00:00:26.650 align:middle line:90% a strange thing I was doing. 00:00:26.650 --> 00:00:29.470 align:middle line:84% I imagined it more as a performance. 00:00:29.470 --> 00:00:32.860 align:middle line:84% But I needed something to do, and I wrote. 00:00:32.860 --> 00:00:37.460 align:middle line:90% So "Settle Her." 00:00:37.460 --> 00:00:40.940 align:middle line:90% 00:00:40.940 --> 00:00:42.170 align:middle line:90% "8:02 AM. 00:00:42.170 --> 00:00:44.480 align:middle line:90% Bus stop-- street. 00:00:44.480 --> 00:00:46.720 align:middle line:90% Again forgot to look on-- 00:00:46.720 --> 00:00:48.890 align:middle line:90% to see where the bus-- coming. 00:00:48.890 --> 00:00:51.740 align:middle line:84% But then again, this is how every morning. 00:00:51.740 --> 00:00:53.840 align:middle line:90% Today, I'm the only one here. 00:00:53.840 --> 00:00:56.030 align:middle line:90% It is also earlier than usual. 00:00:56.030 --> 00:00:59.060 align:middle line:84% And is true, but I also didn't see you addressing things 00:00:59.060 --> 00:01:00.470 align:middle line:90% all that much either. 00:01:00.470 --> 00:01:03.470 align:middle line:84% I'd rather be thankful every morning, every morning. 00:01:03.470 --> 00:01:05.690 align:middle line:90% But the-- one. 00:01:05.690 --> 00:01:08.540 align:middle line:84% To get out the door, if I don't eat anything, 00:01:08.540 --> 00:01:12.230 align:middle line:84% don't look at the computer all day-- was a-- 00:01:12.230 --> 00:01:13.910 align:middle line:84% brush teeth, change into clothes, 00:01:13.910 --> 00:01:17.090 align:middle line:84% pack a few books, like this one, A Key 00:01:17.090 --> 00:01:20.090 align:middle line:84% into the Language of America by Roger Williams 00:01:20.090 --> 00:01:21.620 align:middle line:90% by Rosmarie Waldrop. 00:01:21.620 --> 00:01:24.410 align:middle line:84% 8:10 AM, board bus at 9th Street. 00:01:24.410 --> 00:01:25.890 align:middle line:84% A woman standing near the entrance 00:01:25.890 --> 00:01:29.270 align:middle line:84% is having trouble getting her wrinkled dollar bill 00:01:29.270 --> 00:01:32.517 align:middle line:84% and encouraging someone to go ahead, which I do, but mostly 00:01:32.517 --> 00:01:34.100 align:middle line:84% because I've always wanted to do that, 00:01:34.100 --> 00:01:37.130 align:middle line:84% to swipe other people in, swipe the whole bus in. 00:01:37.130 --> 00:01:40.830 align:middle line:84% And can still ask that they open-- will they open? 00:01:40.830 --> 00:01:41.640 align:middle line:90% What demographics? 00:01:41.640 --> 00:01:42.460 align:middle line:90% What year built? 00:01:42.460 --> 00:01:45.300 align:middle line:84% How many times a week do you shop there, at the University 00:01:45.300 --> 00:01:46.410 align:middle line:90% Heights Whole Foods? 00:01:46.410 --> 00:01:49.650 align:middle line:84% This little organic piece of fruit, how far 00:01:49.650 --> 00:01:51.990 align:middle line:84% and how long did you travel to get-- 00:01:51.990 --> 00:01:55.350 align:middle line:84% to be purchased and eaten by someone with the means 00:01:55.350 --> 00:01:58.970 align:middle line:84% to become just another little piece of organic shit? 00:01:58.970 --> 00:02:00.060 align:middle line:90% Doesn't work that way. 00:02:00.060 --> 00:02:01.320 align:middle line:90% Card recently used. 00:02:01.320 --> 00:02:02.843 align:middle line:84% But eventually, she gets it through. 00:02:02.843 --> 00:02:03.510 align:middle line:90% She says thanks. 00:02:03.510 --> 00:02:04.427 align:middle line:90% That was sweet of you. 00:02:04.427 --> 00:02:07.500 align:middle line:84% And that-- I'd sit in the back of the bus, like I always do. 00:02:07.500 --> 00:02:10.380 align:middle line:84% But now I'm trying to write some-- this is very bumpy. 00:02:10.380 --> 00:02:12.240 align:middle line:84% I do find it liberating, though, to not be 00:02:12.240 --> 00:02:15.210 align:middle line:84% worried about getting off at my stop and all-- 00:02:15.210 --> 00:02:17.910 align:middle line:84% AM was usual stop, Roger Williams National Park. 00:02:17.910 --> 00:02:20.250 align:middle line:84% This stop has two names, which is confusing. 00:02:20.250 --> 00:02:22.380 align:middle line:84% Apparently, yesterday, I elegantly 00:02:22.380 --> 00:02:24.810 align:middle line:84% threw shade at Robert Grenier, but I think of him 00:02:24.810 --> 00:02:27.810 align:middle line:90% now as I wonder if I am also-- 00:02:27.810 --> 00:02:29.760 align:middle line:90% bears repeating. 00:02:29.760 --> 00:02:31.230 align:middle line:90% 8:20 AM. 00:02:31.230 --> 00:02:33.540 align:middle line:90% Today is a no-makeup day. 00:02:33.540 --> 00:02:37.080 align:middle line:84% Kennedy Plaza making this too pretty, too aesthetically 00:02:37.080 --> 00:02:39.300 align:middle line:84% pretty, except the bumpiness of the bus 00:02:39.300 --> 00:02:41.600 align:middle line:84% is not-- and also aesthetic risk. 00:02:41.600 --> 00:02:45.690 align:middle line:84% So I repeat, the aspect of class and aesthetics bears repeating. 00:02:45.690 --> 00:02:48.780 align:middle line:84% The first section is about how to make small talk with people 00:02:48.780 --> 00:02:52.140 align:middle line:90% will eventually harm. 00:02:52.140 --> 00:02:55.020 align:middle line:90% Harm is such a light, tame word. 00:02:55.020 --> 00:02:58.240 align:middle line:84% But it is still that morning, and I have a long ways to go. 00:02:58.240 --> 00:03:04.110 align:middle line:84% So for now, harm starts like this. 00:03:04.110 --> 00:03:06.570 align:middle line:90% What cheer nétop? 00:03:06.570 --> 00:03:10.830 align:middle line:84% is the general salutation of all English toward them. 00:03:10.830 --> 00:03:12.570 align:middle line:90% Nétop is for [INAUDIBLE]. 00:03:12.570 --> 00:03:14.310 align:middle line:90% 1:38 PM. 00:03:14.310 --> 00:03:16.740 align:middle line:84% Demographic on this bus is changing. 00:03:16.740 --> 00:03:18.870 align:middle line:84% And I have not decided how long to stay, 00:03:18.870 --> 00:03:20.610 align:middle line:84% have not counted how many times I have 00:03:20.610 --> 00:03:22.260 align:middle line:90% ridden-- rode the bus today. 00:03:22.260 --> 00:03:24.420 align:middle line:84% There's couple, both with their hoodies up, 00:03:24.420 --> 00:03:26.260 align:middle line:84% and his arm around her shoulders. 00:03:26.260 --> 00:03:27.720 align:middle line:84% This [INAUDIBLE] starting to die. 00:03:27.720 --> 00:03:28.320 align:middle line:90% Really? 00:03:28.320 --> 00:03:31.050 align:middle line:84% I haven't paid close attention to the bus route, 00:03:31.050 --> 00:03:33.120 align:middle line:84% but I think it goes by Leon's house. 00:03:33.120 --> 00:03:35.400 align:middle line:84% I could just hop on and off and join them. 00:03:35.400 --> 00:03:36.180 align:middle line:90% But I won't. 00:03:36.180 --> 00:03:39.690 align:middle line:84% [INAUDIBLE] a place to go is what Chinese vendors said too 00:03:39.690 --> 00:03:42.540 align:middle line:84% when they want to rip you off, friend. 00:03:42.540 --> 00:03:44.880 align:middle line:84% Worked for Tata, a huge Indian company. 00:03:44.880 --> 00:03:48.400 align:middle line:84% And the HR person who helped process, when [INAUDIBLE] said, 00:03:48.400 --> 00:03:51.540 align:middle line:84% I don't believe in talent, it is important to say these things 00:03:51.540 --> 00:03:53.140 align:middle line:90% from positions. 00:03:53.140 --> 00:03:54.970 align:middle line:84% Have yet to write about the Wampanoags who 00:03:54.970 --> 00:03:57.525 align:middle line:84% had a march and protest rally for convocation this year. 00:03:57.525 --> 00:03:58.900 align:middle line:84% They said, give us our land back. 00:03:58.900 --> 00:04:01.540 align:middle line:84% Having spent the last eight years raising small children, 00:04:01.540 --> 00:04:03.070 align:middle line:90% it seems pretty straightforward. 00:04:03.070 --> 00:04:05.380 align:middle line:84% And so then outside of the rock-- 00:04:05.380 --> 00:04:08.050 align:middle line:84% are a few different groups, those in protest, 00:04:08.050 --> 00:04:10.060 align:middle line:84% those starting their undergraduate program 00:04:10.060 --> 00:04:11.980 align:middle line:90% of education. 00:04:11.980 --> 00:04:14.560 align:middle line:84% Was the one who told me if you call you friend-- 00:04:14.560 --> 00:04:16.690 align:middle line:84% if they call you friend, you're being ripped off. 00:04:16.690 --> 00:04:18.519 align:middle line:90% 9:52 AM. 00:04:18.519 --> 00:04:19.720 align:middle line:90% Back on the bus again. 00:04:19.720 --> 00:04:22.390 align:middle line:84% I think bus drivers are wary of anything 00:04:22.390 --> 00:04:24.640 align:middle line:90% at all that is not normal. 00:04:24.640 --> 00:04:26.140 align:middle line:90% 1:44 PM. 00:04:26.140 --> 00:04:27.610 align:middle line:90% Public street. 00:04:27.610 --> 00:04:32.140 align:middle line:84% There was a colorful something called Tides Family Services. 00:04:32.140 --> 00:04:35.710 align:middle line:84% I suppose if I run out of ink, if I run out 00:04:35.710 --> 00:04:38.380 align:middle line:84% of car, front, fence, stop, house, house, house, 00:04:38.380 --> 00:04:40.780 align:middle line:90% some effect skulls too. 00:04:40.780 --> 00:04:44.590 align:middle line:84% Fancy fried chicken, did not see if open or did not see fancy, 00:04:44.590 --> 00:04:46.930 align:middle line:84% do not trust fancy, but maybe here. 00:04:46.930 --> 00:04:50.050 align:middle line:84% When it all happened, it was terribly unclear what 00:04:50.050 --> 00:04:51.370 align:middle line:90% was to make things better. 00:04:51.370 --> 00:04:52.220 align:middle line:90% And it did not. 00:04:52.220 --> 00:04:53.710 align:middle line:90% And it was clear that I-- 00:04:53.710 --> 00:04:58.510 align:middle line:84% [INAUDIBLE],, I am glad you are well. 00:04:58.510 --> 00:05:01.190 align:middle line:84% In those early days, not long after we met, 00:05:01.190 --> 00:05:05.290 align:middle line:84% he told me about this film by Koreeda called Wandafuru Raifu, 00:05:05.290 --> 00:05:07.510 align:middle line:84% or Afterlife in English, about people 00:05:07.510 --> 00:05:09.850 align:middle line:84% being in limbo getting interviewed about what 00:05:09.850 --> 00:05:11.930 align:middle line:90% their happiest memory was. 00:05:11.930 --> 00:05:15.320 align:middle line:84% I knew my answer then but never told him and probably have 00:05:15.320 --> 00:05:17.508 align:middle line:84% never told this today to anybody. 00:05:17.508 --> 00:05:19.550 align:middle line:84% I've always wondered why I couldn't tell anybody, 00:05:19.550 --> 00:05:21.290 align:middle line:84% but I do think that something about it 00:05:21.290 --> 00:05:24.050 align:middle line:84% would lose structural integrity if I told anyone, especially 00:05:24.050 --> 00:05:25.290 align:middle line:90% if I told the wrong person. 00:05:25.290 --> 00:05:26.510 align:middle line:90% So I better not risk it. 00:05:26.510 --> 00:05:27.770 align:middle line:90% 10:26 AM. 00:05:27.770 --> 00:05:30.080 align:middle line:84% Car street approaching Montgomery Avenue. 00:05:30.080 --> 00:05:32.720 align:middle line:90% I still think about bus drivers. 00:05:32.720 --> 00:05:34.580 align:middle line:90% 11:05 AM. 00:05:34.580 --> 00:05:36.380 align:middle line:90% 12:02 PM. 00:05:36.380 --> 00:05:37.280 align:middle line:90% I don't. 00:05:37.280 --> 00:05:39.170 align:middle line:84% I tried to be there when I could as I 00:05:39.170 --> 00:05:42.860 align:middle line:84% could do anal, seemed like the kind of action was possible. 00:05:42.860 --> 00:05:45.110 align:middle line:84% But if I did, I'd probably talk about it 00:05:45.110 --> 00:05:49.880 align:middle line:84% like Ali Wong, who said, she had a lover 00:05:49.880 --> 00:05:51.020 align:middle line:90% who didn't want to do it. 00:05:51.020 --> 00:05:52.470 align:middle line:90% She said, are you kidding me? 00:05:52.470 --> 00:05:55.340 align:middle line:84% If I went on Craigslist and posted tiny Asian chick seeks 00:05:55.340 --> 00:05:58.190 align:middle line:84% anal, the website would crash, the internet would explode. 00:05:58.190 --> 00:06:00.560 align:middle line:84% And I almost did that last night so I could keep 00:06:00.560 --> 00:06:02.210 align:middle line:90% this book appropriately dirty. 00:06:02.210 --> 00:06:04.850 align:middle line:84% I even made a new email address for that purpose. 00:06:04.850 --> 00:06:05.390 align:middle line:90% You can try. 00:06:05.390 --> 00:06:08.240 align:middle line:84% But I didn't post tiny Asian chick seeks anal. 00:06:08.240 --> 00:06:09.320 align:middle line:90% Close your legs now. 00:06:09.320 --> 00:06:13.010 align:middle line:84% That does not count as a move because I saw somebody else's 00:06:13.010 --> 00:06:15.785 align:middle line:84% post that was looking for something to lie down next to, 00:06:15.785 --> 00:06:18.913 align:middle line:84% to put his arms around, to sleep next to another human. 00:06:18.913 --> 00:06:21.080 align:middle line:84% And I had to check my dumb privilege all over again, 00:06:21.080 --> 00:06:22.430 align:middle line:90% a never-ending process. 00:06:22.430 --> 00:06:23.420 align:middle line:90% I closed my legs. 00:06:23.420 --> 00:06:26.630 align:middle line:84% But inside, still open like the never-ending process 00:06:26.630 --> 00:06:29.870 align:middle line:84% of coming out queer, while also explaining another time, 00:06:29.870 --> 00:06:31.070 align:middle line:90% I'm not on the market. 00:06:31.070 --> 00:06:32.330 align:middle line:90% 3:56 PM. 00:06:32.330 --> 00:06:33.410 align:middle line:90% Kennedy Plaza. 00:06:33.410 --> 00:06:36.650 align:middle line:84% I guess I will stay on this plan until it is too dark. 00:06:36.650 --> 00:06:39.290 align:middle line:84% Of the angry people, I want to tell her the angry people 00:06:39.290 --> 00:06:42.410 align:middle line:84% don't really-- to write or read, to be in the position of having 00:06:42.410 --> 00:06:46.760 align:middle line:84% all these stories, but feeling a little bit dizzy, maybe 00:06:46.760 --> 00:06:49.350 align:middle line:90% motion sickness." 00:06:49.350 --> 00:06:51.825 align:middle line:90% [APPLAUSE] 00:06:51.825 --> 00:06:54.300 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHS] 00:06:54.300 --> 00:07:02.715 align:middle line:90% 00:07:02.715 --> 00:07:05.685 align:middle line:90% [APPLAUSE] 00:07:05.685 --> 00:07:11.650 align:middle line:90% 00:07:11.650 --> 00:07:14.410 align:middle line:90% Thank you. 00:07:14.410 --> 00:07:17.070 align:middle line:84% As you might have guessed, it's an improvisatory reading 00:07:17.070 --> 00:07:17.570 align:middle line:90% process. 00:07:17.570 --> 00:07:20.840 align:middle line:90% 00:07:20.840 --> 00:07:22.060 align:middle line:90% That's all. 00:07:22.060 --> 00:07:22.630 align:middle line:90% Thanks. 00:07:22.630 --> 00:07:25.750 align:middle line:90% Thanks for your listening. 00:07:25.750 --> 00:07:36.195 align:middle line:90% 00:07:36.195 --> 00:07:36.695 align:middle line:90% OK. 00:07:36.695 --> 00:07:39.540 align:middle line:90% 00:07:39.540 --> 00:07:40.800 align:middle line:90% Thanks, everybody, for coming. 00:07:40.800 --> 00:07:43.230 align:middle line:84% One more round of applause for Sawako Nakayasu. 00:07:43.230 --> 00:07:46.280 align:middle line:90% [APPLAUSE]