OK.
The students like this one.
[LAUGHS]
It's called "If (Not by Rudyard Kipling)."
[LAUGHTER]
And it is filled with literary jokes.
I'm sorry about that, but I'm really
into puns and silly jokes lately,
and rhyming, and silly stuff like that going back
to my childhood loves.
Yeah, OK.
"If you wear a red dragon on your dress,
they'll call you oriental.
If you wear pink jammies in the rain,
they'll call you a big baby, and still call you oriental.
If you dance naked eating plums, plums, plums,
with a side of white meat chicken,
they'll call you oriental by way of Williams."
[LAUGHTER]
That's a nerdy joke for the English majors.
[LAUGHTER]
For the modernists especially.
"If you wear a dragon dress size 18,
they'll call you an elephant.
If you wear a dead fox on your head,
they'll elect you president.
Speak in growls and tweets and threats,
you are proud to buy American, who
sell you a piece of Plymouth rock and 72 virgins in heaven.
Yeah, you are stupid, but you are our stupid.
If you are pure of blood you must not be in American.
Professor Gates will shake your ancestral tree
and prove that you are half pangolin.
I'd rather be one than eat one, I'd rather eat one than be one.
If a conditional marries a conjunctional,
you would be a pink eyed proposition."
That's for the math nerds.
[LAUGHTER]
"From the perspective of a goal, we
are a raft of tasty excrement.
O gray and lonely April day, TS Elephant, TS Elephant."
[LAUGHTER]
[CLAPPING]
That's the joke for the poets there.
[LAUGHS]
OK.
Oh, well it's--
OK.