WEBVTT

00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:00.600 align:middle line:90%


00:00:00.600 --> 00:00:03.600 align:middle line:84%
The next few are
a kind of series

00:00:03.600 --> 00:00:05.325 align:middle line:90%
that begin the book Shades.

00:00:05.325 --> 00:00:13.710 align:middle line:90%


00:00:13.710 --> 00:00:14.910 align:middle line:90%
"What Hell Is."

00:00:14.910 --> 00:00:22.090 align:middle line:90%


00:00:22.090 --> 00:00:26.410 align:middle line:84%
Your father sits inside
his spacious kitchen

00:00:26.410 --> 00:00:30.160 align:middle line:90%
corpulent and powerless.

00:00:30.160 --> 00:00:34.090 align:middle line:84%
Nobody knows for sure how
your disease is spread.

00:00:34.090 --> 00:00:37.960 align:middle line:84%
It came from love
or some such place.

00:00:37.960 --> 00:00:41.260 align:middle line:84%
Your father's bought,
with 40 years of fast talk

00:00:41.260 --> 00:00:46.270 align:middle line:84%
door-to-door, this fancy house
you've come home now to die in.

00:00:46.270 --> 00:00:49.640 align:middle line:84%
Let me tell you what
hell is, he says.

00:00:49.640 --> 00:00:52.390 align:middle line:84%
I got this double
fridge all full of food,

00:00:52.390 --> 00:00:54.640 align:middle line:90%
and I can't let my son go in.

00:00:54.640 --> 00:00:59.260 align:middle line:90%


00:00:59.260 --> 00:01:02.230 align:middle line:84%
Your parents' friends
stop visiting.

00:01:02.230 --> 00:01:05.620 align:middle line:84%
You are a damper
on their spirits.

00:01:05.620 --> 00:01:08.650 align:middle line:90%
Every day you feel more cold.

00:01:08.650 --> 00:01:11.350 align:middle line:84%
No human being here
can bear the thought.

00:01:11.350 --> 00:01:14.440 align:middle line:84%
It's growing huge
as you grow thin.

00:01:14.440 --> 00:01:15.850 align:middle line:90%
You're 37.

00:01:15.850 --> 00:01:18.040 align:middle line:90%
You will not be 38.

00:01:18.040 --> 00:01:20.470 align:middle line:84%
Ain't it a bitch, you
say, this getting old.

00:01:20.470 --> 00:01:23.930 align:middle line:90%


00:01:23.930 --> 00:01:27.650 align:middle line:84%
And now all day you stare
at us without a word.

00:01:27.650 --> 00:01:32.210 align:middle line:84%
The doctors tell us not to
touch you if you weep or bleed,

00:01:32.210 --> 00:01:35.540 align:middle line:84%
applying salve to
sores that cannot heal.

00:01:35.540 --> 00:01:38.750 align:middle line:84%
Your brother wears
a rubber glove.

00:01:38.750 --> 00:01:42.980 align:middle line:84%
With equal meaning, cold
or kiss would kill you,

00:01:42.980 --> 00:01:45.140 align:middle line:90%
so is everybody lethal?

00:01:45.140 --> 00:01:46.550 align:middle line:90%
What did we mean by love?

00:01:46.550 --> 00:01:49.490 align:middle line:90%


00:01:49.490 --> 00:01:55.670 align:middle line:84%
No human being helps except
suddenly, simply Jesus.

00:01:55.670 --> 00:01:56.855 align:middle line:90%
Him you hold.

00:01:56.855 --> 00:02:01.170 align:middle line:90%


00:02:01.170 --> 00:02:03.930 align:middle line:84%
The man who used
to love his looks

00:02:03.930 --> 00:02:07.830 align:middle line:90%
is sunken bone and looking out.

00:02:07.830 --> 00:02:11.700 align:middle line:84%
Framed by immunities
of telephone and lamp,

00:02:11.700 --> 00:02:13.200 align:middle line:90%
his mouth is dark.

00:02:13.200 --> 00:02:15.750 align:middle line:90%
His eyes are shut.

00:02:15.750 --> 00:02:17.880 align:middle line:84%
He's always somewhere
in the house

00:02:17.880 --> 00:02:20.910 align:middle line:90%
while we discuss this fear.

00:02:20.910 --> 00:02:25.620 align:middle line:84%
Increasingly he's
spoken of, not to.

00:02:25.620 --> 00:02:30.720 align:middle line:84%
In kitchen conferences we come
to terms that we can bear,

00:02:30.720 --> 00:02:32.700 align:middle line:90%
but where is he?

00:02:32.700 --> 00:02:35.850 align:middle line:84%
In hell, which is
the living room.

00:02:35.850 --> 00:02:39.380 align:middle line:84%
In hell, which is
the easy chair.

00:02:39.380 --> 00:02:42.090 align:middle line:90%