WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.210 align:middle line:90% 00:00:02.210 --> 00:00:04.490 align:middle line:84% Our next reading will be one week from tonight 00:00:04.490 --> 00:00:07.760 align:middle line:84% in this auditorium, and the reader will be the poet Tenney 00:00:07.760 --> 00:00:08.600 align:middle line:90% Nathanson. 00:00:08.600 --> 00:00:11.240 align:middle line:90% 00:00:11.240 --> 00:00:15.740 align:middle line:84% The week following Mr. Nathanson's reading, 00:00:15.740 --> 00:00:18.080 align:middle line:84% we will go to a different auditorium 00:00:18.080 --> 00:00:22.910 align:middle line:84% at a different night, so I'd like to announce that twice. 00:00:22.910 --> 00:00:28.800 align:middle line:84% It'll be Thursday, October 9th in the Harvill auditorium. 00:00:28.800 --> 00:00:36.290 align:middle line:84% The Harvill building is at 2nd and Olive, 00:00:36.290 --> 00:00:40.700 align:middle line:84% and the auditorium is very hard to find. 00:00:40.700 --> 00:00:45.380 align:middle line:84% And you go down inside, and that's about all 00:00:45.380 --> 00:00:47.090 align:middle line:90% I can really tell you. 00:00:47.090 --> 00:00:49.655 align:middle line:84% It's very confusing, so look for the crowd. 00:00:49.655 --> 00:00:52.640 align:middle line:90% 00:00:52.640 --> 00:00:54.350 align:middle line:90% And don't come by yourself. 00:00:54.350 --> 00:00:56.028 align:middle line:90% It's kind of weird over there. 00:00:56.028 --> 00:00:58.900 align:middle line:90% [AUDIENCE LAUGHTER] 00:00:58.900 --> 00:00:59.920 align:middle line:90% No, I'm serious. 00:00:59.920 --> 00:01:00.940 align:middle line:90% It's weird over there. 00:01:00.940 --> 00:01:04.660 align:middle line:90% 00:01:04.660 --> 00:01:06.340 align:middle line:84% I hope you can stay after the reading 00:01:06.340 --> 00:01:08.020 align:middle line:84% tonight and have some refreshments, 00:01:08.020 --> 00:01:10.840 align:middle line:90% and meet Ron Hansen. 00:01:10.840 --> 00:01:14.590 align:middle line:84% We're very happy to have him on the faculty this year 00:01:14.590 --> 00:01:16.720 align:middle line:90% teaching fiction classes. 00:01:16.720 --> 00:01:20.890 align:middle line:90% Yeah, lots of people are happy. 00:01:20.890 --> 00:01:23.360 align:middle line:90% He's published two novels. 00:01:23.360 --> 00:01:26.860 align:middle line:84% The first, Desperadoes, the second 00:01:26.860 --> 00:01:31.960 align:middle line:84% in 1983, The Assassination of Jesse James 00:01:31.960 --> 00:01:35.680 align:middle line:84% by the Coward Robert Ford, which many of you 00:01:35.680 --> 00:01:42.020 align:middle line:84% may have heard on Radio Reader, National Public Ra-- 00:01:42.020 --> 00:01:45.395 align:middle line:84% the work's been nominated for a PEN/Faulkner Award for fiction. 00:01:45.395 --> 00:01:48.434 align:middle line:90% 00:01:48.434 --> 00:01:52.190 align:middle line:84% His children's book, The Shadowmaker, 00:01:52.190 --> 00:01:54.740 align:middle line:84% will be published soon by Harper and Row, 00:01:54.740 --> 00:01:59.780 align:middle line:84% and he's edited an anthology of contemporary short fiction 00:01:59.780 --> 00:02:04.520 align:middle line:84% called Love Stories, which will be published next year. 00:02:04.520 --> 00:02:07.120 align:middle line:90% 00:02:07.120 --> 00:02:10.090 align:middle line:84% His short fiction essays and reviews 00:02:10.090 --> 00:02:14.980 align:middle line:84% have appeared in such places as Esquire, the Atlantic Monthly, 00:02:14.980 --> 00:02:18.310 align:middle line:84% the Iowa Review, the New York Times Book Review, 00:02:18.310 --> 00:02:20.950 align:middle line:90% and many other magazines. 00:02:20.950 --> 00:02:25.390 align:middle line:84% His work has been translated into Finnish, Dutch, 00:02:25.390 --> 00:02:27.070 align:middle line:90% and Hebrews-- 00:02:27.070 --> 00:02:27.790 align:middle line:90% and Hebrew. 00:02:27.790 --> 00:02:31.024 align:middle line:90% [AUDIENCE LAUGHTER] 00:02:31.024 --> 00:02:32.410 align:middle line:90% 00:02:32.410 --> 00:02:34.360 align:middle line:84% I'm getting more and more like Tank McNamara, 00:02:34.360 --> 00:02:35.470 align:middle line:90% I can't stand it. 00:02:35.470 --> 00:02:38.530 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHTER] 00:02:38.530 --> 00:02:39.670 align:middle line:90% In more ways than one. 00:02:39.670 --> 00:02:43.810 align:middle line:90% 00:02:43.810 --> 00:02:46.750 align:middle line:84% His honors include a Wallace Stegner Creative Writing 00:02:46.750 --> 00:02:49.630 align:middle line:84% Fellowship from Stanford and a National Endowment 00:02:49.630 --> 00:02:51.130 align:middle line:90% for the Arts Fellowship. 00:02:51.130 --> 00:02:53.470 align:middle line:84% It's a pleasure to introduce Ron Hansen to you. 00:02:53.470 --> 00:02:56.921 align:middle line:90% [APPLAUSE] 00:02:56.921 --> 00:03:07.780 align:middle line:90% 00:03:07.780 --> 00:03:11.810 align:middle line:84% I'm going to read two Nebraska stories. 00:03:11.810 --> 00:03:13.660 align:middle line:90% The first is "True Romance." 00:03:13.660 --> 00:03:17.230 align:middle line:84% And you have to imagine that Sissy Spacek is reading this 00:03:17.230 --> 00:03:19.240 align:middle line:90% to you. 00:03:19.240 --> 00:03:22.330 align:middle line:84% It's based on some experiences when I lived in Nebraska, 00:03:22.330 --> 00:03:25.240 align:middle line:84% and there was some slaughter of cattle 00:03:25.240 --> 00:03:28.840 align:middle line:84% in the outlying districts and people were speculating 00:03:28.840 --> 00:03:30.580 align:middle line:90% as to what caused that. 00:03:30.580 --> 00:03:33.040 align:middle line:84% And I was remembering a time when 00:03:33.040 --> 00:03:35.560 align:middle line:84% I was in a fishing resort in Minnesota 00:03:35.560 --> 00:03:38.290 align:middle line:84% and was trapped inside because of rain, 00:03:38.290 --> 00:03:43.425 align:middle line:84% and was forced to read romance magazines over and over again, 00:03:43.425 --> 00:03:45.550 align:middle line:84% because that was the only thing that was available. 00:03:45.550 --> 00:03:47.410 align:middle line:84% And I thought of combining those two events. 00:03:47.410 --> 00:03:51.730 align:middle line:90% 00:03:51.730 --> 00:03:52.360 align:middle line:90% "True Romance." 00:03:52.360 --> 00:03:56.190 align:middle line:90% 00:03:56.190 --> 00:03:58.200 align:middle line:84% It was still night out, and my husband 00:03:58.200 --> 00:04:00.120 align:middle line:84% was shaving at the kitchen sink so he 00:04:00.120 --> 00:04:02.160 align:middle line:84% could hear the morning farm report, 00:04:02.160 --> 00:04:05.190 align:middle line:84% and I was peeling bacon into the skillet. 00:04:05.190 --> 00:04:07.740 align:middle line:84% I hardly slept a wink with Gina acting up 00:04:07.740 --> 00:04:10.110 align:middle line:90% and that croupy cough of hers. 00:04:10.110 --> 00:04:12.660 align:middle line:90% I must have walked five miles. 00:04:12.660 --> 00:04:15.720 align:middle line:84% Half of Ivan's face was hanging in the circle mirror. 00:04:15.720 --> 00:04:19.050 align:middle line:84% The razor was scraping the soap from his cheek 00:04:19.050 --> 00:04:21.985 align:middle line:84% and pigs weren't dollaring like they ought to. 00:04:21.985 --> 00:04:23.610 align:middle line:84% And that was when the phone rang and it 00:04:23.610 --> 00:04:25.620 align:middle line:84% was Annette, my very best friend, 00:04:25.620 --> 00:04:28.660 align:middle line:90% giving me the woeful news. 00:04:28.660 --> 00:04:30.520 align:middle line:84% Ivan squeaked his thumb on the glass 00:04:30.520 --> 00:04:33.220 align:middle line:84% to spy the temperature, still cold, 00:04:33.220 --> 00:04:35.560 align:middle line:84% then wiped his face with a paper towel, 00:04:35.560 --> 00:04:37.870 align:middle line:84% staring at me with puzzlement as I made 00:04:37.870 --> 00:04:40.570 align:middle line:90% known my shock and surprise. 00:04:40.570 --> 00:04:42.250 align:middle line:84% I took the phone away from my ear 00:04:42.250 --> 00:04:47.520 align:middle line:84% and said, "honey, somebody's killed one of the cows." 00:04:47.520 --> 00:04:49.230 align:middle line:84% He rushed over to the phone and got 00:04:49.230 --> 00:04:51.480 align:middle line:84% to talking to Annette's husband, Slick. 00:04:51.480 --> 00:04:53.700 align:middle line:90% Slick saw it coming from work. 00:04:53.700 --> 00:04:57.460 align:middle line:84% Slick's mainly on night shift at the Caterpillar plant. 00:04:57.460 --> 00:05:00.060 align:middle line:84% Our section of the county is on a party line. 00:05:00.060 --> 00:05:03.270 align:middle line:84% The snoops were getting their usual earful. 00:05:03.270 --> 00:05:05.790 align:middle line:84% I turned out the fire under the skillet. 00:05:05.790 --> 00:05:08.250 align:middle line:90% His appetite would be spoiled. 00:05:08.250 --> 00:05:11.340 align:middle line:84% Ivan and Slick went over the same ground again. 00:05:11.340 --> 00:05:14.280 align:middle line:84% I poured coffee and sugar, and stirred a spoon around 00:05:14.280 --> 00:05:18.150 align:middle line:84% in a cup just as blue as I could be, and when Ivan hung up, 00:05:18.150 --> 00:05:19.980 align:middle line:90% I handed the cup to him. 00:05:19.980 --> 00:05:22.440 align:middle line:84% He said, "I could almost understand it 00:05:22.440 --> 00:05:24.360 align:middle line:84% if they took the meat, but Slick says 00:05:24.360 --> 00:05:27.540 align:middle line:84% it looks like it just plain ripped apart." 00:05:27.540 --> 00:05:29.720 align:middle line:84% I walked the telephone back to the living room 00:05:29.720 --> 00:05:32.090 align:middle line:84% and switched on every single light. 00:05:32.090 --> 00:05:34.400 align:middle line:90% Ivan wasn't saying anything. 00:05:34.400 --> 00:05:37.220 align:middle line:84% I opened my robe and gave Gina the left nipple, which 00:05:37.220 --> 00:05:40.940 align:middle line:84% wasn't so standing out and sore, and I sat in the big chair 00:05:40.940 --> 00:05:42.320 align:middle line:90% under a shawl. 00:05:42.320 --> 00:05:45.910 align:middle line:84% I got the feeling that eyes were on me. 00:05:45.910 --> 00:05:48.730 align:middle line:84% Ivan stood in the doorway in his underpants and Nebraska 00:05:48.730 --> 00:05:51.970 align:middle line:84% sweatshirt looking just like he did in high school. 00:05:51.970 --> 00:05:54.940 align:middle line:84% I said, "I'm just sick about the cow." 00:05:54.940 --> 00:05:58.480 align:middle line:84% He said, "you pay your bills, you try and live simple, 00:05:58.480 --> 00:06:00.730 align:middle line:84% you pray to the Lord for guidance, 00:06:00.730 --> 00:06:03.790 align:middle line:84% but Satan can still find a loophole, can't he? 00:06:03.790 --> 00:06:06.880 align:middle line:90% He'll trip you up every time." 00:06:06.880 --> 00:06:10.570 align:middle line:84% "Just the idea of it has given me the willies," I said. 00:06:10.570 --> 00:06:12.850 align:middle line:84% Ivan put his coffee cup on the floor 00:06:12.850 --> 00:06:15.250 align:middle line:84% and snapped on his gray coveralls. 00:06:15.250 --> 00:06:17.620 align:middle line:90% He sat against the high chair. 00:06:17.620 --> 00:06:19.270 align:middle line:84% "I guess I'll give the Sheriff a call 00:06:19.270 --> 00:06:21.430 align:middle line:90% and then go look at the damage." 00:06:21.430 --> 00:06:22.780 align:middle line:90% "I want to go with you, OK?" 00:06:22.780 --> 00:06:25.630 align:middle line:90% 00:06:25.630 --> 00:06:28.390 align:middle line:84% The man from the rendering plant swerved a winch truck 00:06:28.390 --> 00:06:30.760 align:middle line:84% up the pasture until the swinging chain 00:06:30.760 --> 00:06:33.010 align:middle line:90% cradle was over the cow. 00:06:33.010 --> 00:06:35.410 align:middle line:84% His tires skidded green swipes and grass that 00:06:35.410 --> 00:06:37.990 align:middle line:90% was otherwise white with frost. 00:06:37.990 --> 00:06:40.060 align:middle line:84% I scrunched up in the pickup with a heater 00:06:40.060 --> 00:06:44.080 align:middle line:84% going to beat the band and Gina asleep on the seat. 00:06:44.080 --> 00:06:47.650 align:middle line:84% Ivan slumped in the Sheriff's car and swore out a complaint. 00:06:47.650 --> 00:06:50.890 align:middle line:84% The man from the rendering plant threw some hydraulic levers 00:06:50.890 --> 00:06:53.260 align:middle line:84% and the engine revved to unspool some cable, 00:06:53.260 --> 00:06:56.680 align:middle line:84% making the cradle clang against the bumper. 00:06:56.680 --> 00:06:59.620 align:middle line:84% I'd never seen the field so pretty in March. 00:06:59.620 --> 00:07:03.250 align:middle line:84% Every acre was green winter wheat or plowed earth 00:07:03.250 --> 00:07:06.100 align:middle line:84% or sandhills the color of camels. 00:07:06.100 --> 00:07:10.330 align:middle line:84% The lagoon was as black and sleek as a grand piano. 00:07:10.330 --> 00:07:12.910 align:middle line:84% Gina squinted her face up and then discovered a knuckle 00:07:12.910 --> 00:07:16.240 align:middle line:84% to chew as the truck engine raced again, 00:07:16.240 --> 00:07:18.640 align:middle line:84% and when the renderer hoisted the cow up, 00:07:18.640 --> 00:07:20.740 align:middle line:84% a whole stream of stuff poured out of her 00:07:20.740 --> 00:07:23.560 align:middle line:84% and dumped on the ground like boots. 00:07:23.560 --> 00:07:25.870 align:middle line:84% I slaughtered one or two in my time. 00:07:25.870 --> 00:07:28.810 align:middle line:84% I could tell which organs were missing. 00:07:28.810 --> 00:07:31.030 align:middle line:84% Ivan made his weary way up the hill 00:07:31.030 --> 00:07:33.550 align:middle line:84% on grass that was greasy with blood, then 00:07:33.550 --> 00:07:36.190 align:middle line:84% squatted to look at footprints that were all walked over 00:07:36.190 --> 00:07:37.840 align:middle line:90% by cattle. 00:07:37.840 --> 00:07:40.570 align:middle line:84% The man from the plant said something and Ivan said 00:07:40.570 --> 00:07:43.030 align:middle line:84% something back, calling him Dale, 00:07:43.030 --> 00:07:46.210 align:middle line:84% and then Ivan slammed the pickup door behind him. 00:07:46.210 --> 00:07:49.930 align:middle line:84% He wiped the fog from inside the windshield with a softball cap. 00:07:49.930 --> 00:07:52.090 align:middle line:84% "You didn't bring coffee, did you?" 00:07:52.090 --> 00:07:54.940 align:middle line:84% I shook my head as he blew on his fingers. 00:07:54.940 --> 00:07:56.830 align:middle line:84% He asked, "What good are you then?" 00:07:56.830 --> 00:07:58.460 align:middle line:90% But he was smiling. 00:07:58.460 --> 00:08:01.660 align:middle line:84% He said, "I'm glad our insurance is paid up." 00:08:01.660 --> 00:08:04.240 align:middle line:84% "I'm just sick about it," I said. 00:08:04.240 --> 00:08:06.550 align:middle line:84% Ivan put the truck in gear and drove it 00:08:06.550 --> 00:08:10.000 align:middle line:84% past the feed and cattle, giving them a look over. 00:08:10.000 --> 00:08:12.340 align:middle line:84% "I've got to get my sugar beets in." 00:08:12.340 --> 00:08:17.550 align:middle line:84% I thought, the cow's heart and the female things. 00:08:17.550 --> 00:08:20.280 align:middle line:84% Around noon Annette came over in Slick's Trans Am, 00:08:20.280 --> 00:08:22.260 align:middle line:84% and we ate pecan rolls hot from the oven 00:08:22.260 --> 00:08:25.620 align:middle line:84% as she got the romance magazines out of her grocery bag 00:08:25.620 --> 00:08:29.010 align:middle line:84% and began reading me the really good stories. 00:08:29.010 --> 00:08:31.830 align:middle line:84% Gina played on the carpet next to my chair. 00:08:31.830 --> 00:08:33.929 align:middle line:84% You have to watch the little bugger every second 00:08:33.929 --> 00:08:36.429 align:middle line:84% because she'll put it in her mouth what most people wouldn't 00:08:36.429 --> 00:08:38.250 align:middle line:90% step on. 00:08:38.250 --> 00:08:39.659 align:middle line:84% Annette was four months pregnant, 00:08:39.659 --> 00:08:42.419 align:middle line:84% but it hardly showed, just the top snap of her jeans 00:08:42.419 --> 00:08:43.650 align:middle line:90% was undone. 00:08:43.650 --> 00:08:47.070 align:middle line:84% And I was full of uncertainty about the outcome. 00:08:47.070 --> 00:08:49.470 align:middle line:84% Our daytime visits give us the opportunity 00:08:49.470 --> 00:08:52.590 align:middle line:84% to speak candidly about things like miscarriages 00:08:52.590 --> 00:08:54.750 align:middle line:84% or the ways in which we are ironing out 00:08:54.750 --> 00:08:58.170 align:middle line:84% our problems with our husbands, but on this occasion, 00:08:58.170 --> 00:09:00.570 align:middle line:84% Annette was giggling about some goofy woman who 00:09:00.570 --> 00:09:04.950 align:middle line:84% couldn't figure out why marriage turned good men into monsters. 00:09:04.950 --> 00:09:06.930 align:middle line:84% And I got the ugly feeling that I was being 00:09:06.930 --> 00:09:09.870 align:middle line:90% looked at by a Peeping Tom. 00:09:09.870 --> 00:09:11.940 align:middle line:84% Annette put the magazine in her lap 00:09:11.940 --> 00:09:14.910 align:middle line:84% and rapidly flipped pages to get to the part where the story was 00:09:14.910 --> 00:09:18.180 align:middle line:84% continued, and I gingerly picked up Gina 00:09:18.180 --> 00:09:20.580 align:middle line:84% and without saying a peep to Annette, 00:09:20.580 --> 00:09:23.640 align:middle line:84% walked across the carpet and spun around. 00:09:23.640 --> 00:09:25.470 align:middle line:84% Annette giggled and said, "do you suppose 00:09:25.470 --> 00:09:26.760 align:middle line:90% this actually happened?" 00:09:26.760 --> 00:09:30.210 align:middle line:84% And I said yes, pulling my little girl tight against me. 00:09:30.210 --> 00:09:32.820 align:middle line:84% Annette said, "doesn't she just crack you up?" 00:09:32.820 --> 00:09:36.000 align:middle line:84% And I simply kept peering out the window. 00:09:36.000 --> 00:09:39.310 align:middle line:90% I couldn't stop myself. 00:09:39.310 --> 00:09:42.040 align:middle line:84% That night I took another stroll around the property 00:09:42.040 --> 00:09:45.760 align:middle line:84% and then poured diet cola into a glass at the kitchen sink, 00:09:45.760 --> 00:09:48.190 align:middle line:90% satisfying my thirst. 00:09:48.190 --> 00:09:50.500 align:middle line:84% I could see the light of the 60 watt bulb 00:09:50.500 --> 00:09:52.780 align:middle line:84% in the barn and the cows standing up to the fence, 00:09:52.780 --> 00:09:55.240 align:middle line:84% and rubbing their throats and chins. 00:09:55.240 --> 00:09:57.550 align:middle line:84% The wire gets shaggy with the stuff, 00:09:57.550 --> 00:10:00.310 align:middle line:84% looks just like orange doll hair. 00:10:00.310 --> 00:10:02.260 align:middle line:84% Ivan got on the intercom, and his voice 00:10:02.260 --> 00:10:05.080 align:middle line:84% was puny like it was trapped in a paper cup. 00:10:05.080 --> 00:10:07.630 align:middle line:84% "Come on out and help me, will you, Riva?" 00:10:07.630 --> 00:10:10.210 align:middle line:90% "Right out," is what I said. 00:10:10.210 --> 00:10:13.090 align:middle line:84% I tucked another blanket around Gina in the baby crib 00:10:13.090 --> 00:10:16.000 align:middle line:84% and clumped outside in Ivan's rubber boots. 00:10:16.000 --> 00:10:18.460 align:middle line:84% They jingled as I crossed the barnyard. 00:10:18.460 --> 00:10:20.500 align:middle line:90% The cattle stared at me. 00:10:20.500 --> 00:10:23.740 align:middle line:84% One of the steers got up on a lady and triumphed for a while, 00:10:23.740 --> 00:10:26.230 align:middle line:84% but she walked away and he dropped. 00:10:26.230 --> 00:10:29.620 align:middle line:84% My flashlight speared whenever I bumped it. 00:10:29.620 --> 00:10:32.560 align:middle line:84% Ivan was kneeling on straw, shoving his arm 00:10:32.560 --> 00:10:34.300 align:middle line:90% in a rubber glove. 00:10:34.300 --> 00:10:36.760 align:middle line:90% An alarm clock was on the sill. 00:10:36.760 --> 00:10:39.430 align:middle line:84% His softball cap was off, and his long brown hair 00:10:39.430 --> 00:10:43.390 align:middle line:84% was flying wild as he squatted beside the side laying cow. 00:10:43.390 --> 00:10:46.750 align:middle line:84% Her tail whisked a board, so he tied it to her leg with twine. 00:10:46.750 --> 00:10:49.650 align:middle line:84% She was swollen wide with a calf. 00:10:49.650 --> 00:10:51.510 align:middle line:84% My husband reached up inside her, 00:10:51.510 --> 00:10:54.840 align:middle line:84% and the cow lifted her head indignantly and settled down 00:10:54.840 --> 00:10:56.550 align:middle line:90% and chewed her tongue. 00:10:56.550 --> 00:10:59.490 align:middle line:84% Ivan said, "P-U, cow, you stink!" 00:10:59.490 --> 00:11:02.850 align:middle line:84% He was in her up to her bicep, seemed like. 00:11:02.850 --> 00:11:04.470 align:middle line:90% "You going to cut her?" 00:11:04.470 --> 00:11:07.170 align:middle line:84% He shook his head as he snagged the glove off and plunked it 00:11:07.170 --> 00:11:08.970 align:middle line:90% down in the water bucket. 00:11:08.970 --> 00:11:11.130 align:middle line:90% "Dang calf's kaput!" 00:11:11.130 --> 00:11:14.580 align:middle line:84% He glared at his medicine box and said, "how many is that?" 00:11:14.580 --> 00:11:15.780 align:middle line:90% Four out of eight? 00:11:15.780 --> 00:11:18.270 align:middle line:90% I might as well give it up." 00:11:18.270 --> 00:11:21.060 align:middle line:84% I swayed the flashlight beam along the barn. 00:11:21.060 --> 00:11:25.710 align:middle line:84% Window, apron, pitchfork, rope, lug wrench, 00:11:25.710 --> 00:11:29.610 align:middle line:84% sickle, baling wire, and another four pane window 00:11:29.610 --> 00:11:31.350 align:middle line:84% that was so streaked with pigeon goop it 00:11:31.350 --> 00:11:33.607 align:middle line:90% might as well have been slats. 00:11:33.607 --> 00:11:35.190 align:middle line:84% But it was there that the light caught 00:11:35.190 --> 00:11:37.950 align:middle line:84% a glint of an eye and my heart stopped. 00:11:37.950 --> 00:11:40.110 align:middle line:84% I stepped closer to persuade myself 00:11:40.110 --> 00:11:42.270 align:middle line:84% it wasn't just an apparition, and what 00:11:42.270 --> 00:11:45.030 align:middle line:90% I saw abruptly disappeared. 00:11:45.030 --> 00:11:46.980 align:middle line:84% Ivan grinded the tractor ignition 00:11:46.980 --> 00:11:48.990 align:middle line:84% and got the thing going, then raced it 00:11:48.990 --> 00:11:51.450 align:middle line:84% backwards into the barn, not shutting the engine down, 00:11:51.450 --> 00:11:54.930 align:middle line:84% but slapping it out of gear and hopping down to the ground. 00:11:54.930 --> 00:11:58.620 align:middle line:84% He said, "swing that flashlight down on this cow's contraption, 00:11:58.620 --> 00:11:59.970 align:middle line:90% will you, Riva?" 00:11:59.970 --> 00:12:02.250 align:middle line:84% And there was some messy tugging and wrestling 00:12:02.250 --> 00:12:05.090 align:middle line:84% as he yanked the calf's legs out and attached him 00:12:05.090 --> 00:12:07.860 align:middle line:90% to the tractor hitch with wire. 00:12:07.860 --> 00:12:11.370 align:middle line:84% He jumped up to the spring seat and jerked into granny, 00:12:11.370 --> 00:12:14.160 align:middle line:84% creeping forward with his gaze on the cow. 00:12:14.160 --> 00:12:16.110 align:middle line:84% She groaned with agony and more leg 00:12:16.110 --> 00:12:18.810 align:middle line:84% appeared, and then the shut-eyed calf head. 00:12:18.810 --> 00:12:21.360 align:middle line:84% My husband crawled the tractor forward more, 00:12:21.360 --> 00:12:23.760 align:middle line:84% and the calf came out in the surge. 00:12:23.760 --> 00:12:26.460 align:middle line:84% I suctioned gunk out of its throat with a bulb syringe 00:12:26.460 --> 00:12:28.770 align:middle line:84% and squirted it into the straw, but the calf 00:12:28.770 --> 00:12:30.120 align:middle line:90% didn't quiver or pant. 00:12:30.120 --> 00:12:34.050 align:middle line:84% She was as patient as meat, and her tongue 00:12:34.050 --> 00:12:36.240 align:middle line:90% spilled on to the paint tarp. 00:12:36.240 --> 00:12:39.660 align:middle line:84% Ivan scowled and sank to his knees by the calf. 00:12:39.660 --> 00:12:43.650 align:middle line:84% The mother cow struggled up and sniffed the calf, 00:12:43.650 --> 00:12:46.890 align:middle line:84% and began licking off its nose the way she'd been taught. 00:12:46.890 --> 00:12:48.900 align:middle line:84% But even she gave up in a second or two 00:12:48.900 --> 00:12:51.960 align:middle line:84% and hung her head low with grief. 00:12:51.960 --> 00:12:53.570 align:middle line:90% "Do you know what killed it?" 00:12:53.570 --> 00:12:56.630 align:middle line:84% Ivan just gaped and said, "you explain it." 00:12:56.630 --> 00:12:59.720 align:middle line:84% He got up and plunged his arms into the water bucket. 00:12:59.720 --> 00:13:02.150 align:middle line:90% He smeared water on his face. 00:13:02.150 --> 00:13:05.630 align:middle line:84% I crouched down and saw that the calf was somehow split open 00:13:05.630 --> 00:13:09.550 align:middle line:84% and all her insides were pulled out. 00:13:09.550 --> 00:13:11.560 align:middle line:84% After the sheriff and the man from the rendering 00:13:11.560 --> 00:13:14.710 align:middle line:84% plant paid their visits, the night was just about shot. 00:13:14.710 --> 00:13:17.050 align:middle line:84% Ivan completed his cold weather chores, 00:13:17.050 --> 00:13:19.210 align:middle line:84% upsetting the cattle with his earliness, 00:13:19.210 --> 00:13:22.000 align:middle line:84% and I pored over Annette's romance magazines, 00:13:22.000 --> 00:13:24.880 align:middle line:84% gaining support from each disappointment. 00:13:24.880 --> 00:13:27.190 align:middle line:84% Ivan and I got some sleep, and even Gina 00:13:27.190 --> 00:13:29.980 align:middle line:84% cooperated by being good as can be. 00:13:29.980 --> 00:13:32.890 align:middle line:84% Ivan arose at noon, but he was cranky and understandably 00:13:32.890 --> 00:13:35.950 align:middle line:84% depressed about our calamities, so I switched off 00:13:35.950 --> 00:13:38.980 align:middle line:84% All My Children, and suggested we go over to Slick's place 00:13:38.980 --> 00:13:41.440 align:middle line:90% and wake him up and party. 00:13:41.440 --> 00:13:43.750 align:middle line:84% Annette saw I was out of sorts right away, 00:13:43.750 --> 00:13:46.720 align:middle line:84% and she generously agreed to make our supper. 00:13:46.720 --> 00:13:49.450 align:middle line:84% She could see through me like glass. 00:13:49.450 --> 00:13:51.160 align:middle line:84% At two we watched General Hospital, 00:13:51.160 --> 00:13:55.300 align:middle line:84% which was getting crazier by the week according to Annette. 00:13:55.300 --> 00:13:57.370 align:middle line:84% She thought they'd be off in outer space next, 00:13:57.370 --> 00:13:58.870 align:middle line:84% but I said they were just keeping up 00:13:58.870 --> 00:14:02.530 align:middle line:84% with this wild and woolly world we live in. 00:14:02.530 --> 00:14:05.890 align:middle line:84% Once our story was over, we made pork roast and boiled potatoes 00:14:05.890 --> 00:14:10.030 align:middle line:84% with chives and garlic butter, which proved to be a big hit. 00:14:10.030 --> 00:14:12.460 align:middle line:84% Our husbands worked through the remaining light of day, 00:14:12.460 --> 00:14:14.590 align:middle line:84% crawling over Slick's farm machinery, 00:14:14.590 --> 00:14:16.330 align:middle line:84% each with wrenches in his pockets 00:14:16.330 --> 00:14:18.765 align:middle line:84% and grease on his skin like war paint. 00:14:18.765 --> 00:14:20.890 align:middle line:84% Annette said, "you're doing all right for yourself, 00:14:20.890 --> 00:14:22.840 align:middle line:90% aren't you, Riva?" 00:14:22.840 --> 00:14:25.660 align:middle line:84% "I could say the same for you, you know." 00:14:25.660 --> 00:14:29.710 align:middle line:84% Here I ought to explain that Annette went steady with Ivan 00:14:29.710 --> 00:14:32.530 align:middle line:84% in our sophomore year, and I suspect she's always 00:14:32.530 --> 00:14:34.750 align:middle line:90% regretted giving him to me. 00:14:34.750 --> 00:14:37.060 align:middle line:84% If I am any judge of character, her thoughts 00:14:37.060 --> 00:14:39.460 align:middle line:84% were on that subject as we stood at the counter 00:14:39.460 --> 00:14:42.190 align:middle line:84% and Slick and Ivan came in for supper 00:14:42.190 --> 00:14:45.190 align:middle line:84% and cleaned up in the washroom that's off the kitchen. 00:14:45.190 --> 00:14:47.500 align:middle line:84% Annette then had the gall to say, "Slick 00:14:47.500 --> 00:14:49.540 align:middle line:84% and me are going through what you and Ivan were 00:14:49.540 --> 00:14:51.550 align:middle line:90% a couple of months ago." 00:14:51.550 --> 00:14:53.830 align:middle line:84% Oh, no, you're not, I wanted to say. 00:14:53.830 --> 00:14:57.550 align:middle line:84% But I didn't even give her the courtesy of a reply. 00:14:57.550 --> 00:15:00.370 align:middle line:84% "You got everything straightened out though, didn't you?" 00:15:00.370 --> 00:15:03.970 align:middle line:84% I said, "our problems were a blessing in disguise." 00:15:03.970 --> 00:15:06.850 align:middle line:84% "I know exactly what you mean," she said. 00:15:06.850 --> 00:15:09.220 align:middle line:84% "Our marriage is as full of love and vitality 00:15:09.220 --> 00:15:11.260 align:middle line:90% as any girl could wish for." 00:15:11.260 --> 00:15:13.240 align:middle line:84% Her eyes were even a little misty. 00:15:13.240 --> 00:15:15.970 align:middle line:90% "I'm so happy for you, Riva." 00:15:15.970 --> 00:15:16.960 align:middle line:90% And she was. 00:15:16.960 --> 00:15:18.520 align:middle line:84% You could tell she wasn't pretending 00:15:18.520 --> 00:15:22.390 align:middle line:84% like she was during some of the rocky spots in our past. 00:15:22.390 --> 00:15:24.340 align:middle line:84% Slick dipped his tongue in a spoon 00:15:24.340 --> 00:15:26.860 align:middle line:84% that he lifted from a saucepan and went out of his way 00:15:26.860 --> 00:15:29.860 align:middle line:84% to compliment Annette, unlike at least one husband 00:15:29.860 --> 00:15:31.480 align:middle line:90% I could mention. 00:15:31.480 --> 00:15:34.630 align:middle line:84% Ivan pushed down the spring gizmo on the toaster 00:15:34.630 --> 00:15:36.520 align:middle line:84% and got the feeling back in his fingers 00:15:36.520 --> 00:15:38.950 align:middle line:84% by working them over the toaster slots. 00:15:38.950 --> 00:15:41.890 align:middle line:84% My husband said in that put down way of his, 00:15:41.890 --> 00:15:45.100 align:middle line:84% "Slick was saying it could be UFOs." 00:15:45.100 --> 00:15:46.750 align:middle line:84% "I've got an open mind on the subject," 00:15:46.750 --> 00:15:50.500 align:middle line:84% said Slick, and Ivan did his snickering thing. 00:15:50.500 --> 00:15:51.970 align:middle line:84% I asked if we could please change 00:15:51.970 --> 00:15:53.860 align:middle line:84% the topic of conversation to something 00:15:53.860 --> 00:15:55.720 align:middle line:90% a little more pleasant. 00:15:55.720 --> 00:15:57.850 align:middle line:90% Ivan gave me his angry smile. 00:15:57.850 --> 00:15:58.930 align:middle line:90% "Such as what? 00:15:58.930 --> 00:16:01.480 align:middle line:90% Relationships?" 00:16:01.480 --> 00:16:03.910 align:middle line:84% Slick and Annette were in rare form that night, 00:16:03.910 --> 00:16:05.530 align:middle line:84% but Ivan was pretty much of a poop 00:16:05.530 --> 00:16:07.780 align:middle line:90% until Slick gave him a number. 00:16:07.780 --> 00:16:10.240 align:middle line:84% Ivan bogarted the joint and Slick rolled up 00:16:10.240 --> 00:16:12.520 align:middle line:84% another, and by the time Annette and I got the dishes 00:16:12.520 --> 00:16:14.560 align:middle line:84% into the sink, the men were swapping 00:16:14.560 --> 00:16:18.070 align:middle line:84% a roach on the living room floor and tooling Gina's playthings 00:16:18.070 --> 00:16:19.760 align:middle line:90% around. 00:16:19.760 --> 00:16:22.690 align:middle line:84% Annette opened the newspaper to the place 00:16:22.690 --> 00:16:26.530 align:middle line:84% that showed which dopey program was on the TV that evening. 00:16:26.530 --> 00:16:29.710 align:middle line:84% Slick asked if I haven't planted the marijuana seeds gave us, 00:16:29.710 --> 00:16:33.400 align:middle line:84% and Ivan shrugged, which meant no. 00:16:33.400 --> 00:16:35.080 align:middle line:84% Slick commenced tickling Annette. 00:16:35.080 --> 00:16:36.850 align:middle line:84% She scooched back against the sofa 00:16:36.850 --> 00:16:40.533 align:middle line:84% and fought him off, slapping at his paws and pleading for help. 00:16:40.533 --> 00:16:41.950 align:middle line:84% She screamed, "Slick, you're going 00:16:41.950 --> 00:16:44.470 align:middle line:90% to make me pee on myself!" 00:16:44.470 --> 00:16:45.940 align:middle line:84% Ivan clicked through the channels, 00:16:45.940 --> 00:16:48.610 align:middle line:84% but he was so stoned all he could say was "what is that?" 00:16:48.610 --> 00:16:51.490 align:middle line:90% [AUDIENCE LAUGHTER] 00:16:51.490 --> 00:16:53.380 align:middle line:84% Annette giggled, but got out, "Creature 00:16:53.380 --> 00:16:55.480 align:middle line:90% from the Black Lagoon." 00:16:55.480 --> 00:16:57.760 align:middle line:84% I plopped Gina on top of her daddy's stomach 00:16:57.760 --> 00:17:00.880 align:middle line:84% and passed around a roach that was pinched with a hairpin. 00:17:00.880 --> 00:17:02.800 align:middle line:84% I asked Ivan, "are you really ripped?" 00:17:02.800 --> 00:17:07.089 align:middle line:84% And Ivan shrugged, which meant yes. 00:17:07.089 --> 00:17:10.089 align:middle line:84% The movie was a real shot in the arm for our crew. 00:17:10.089 --> 00:17:13.180 align:middle line:84% My husband rested his pestered head in my lap, 00:17:13.180 --> 00:17:15.339 align:middle line:90% and I rearranged his long hair. 00:17:15.339 --> 00:17:16.839 align:middle line:84% There was a close up of the creature 00:17:16.839 --> 00:17:19.630 align:middle line:84% and I got such a case of the stares from looking at it, 00:17:19.630 --> 00:17:22.270 align:middle line:84% you'd think I was making a photograph. 00:17:22.270 --> 00:17:24.310 align:middle line:90% Ivan shifted to frown at me. 00:17:24.310 --> 00:17:26.540 align:middle line:84% "How come you're not saying anything?" 00:17:26.540 --> 00:17:31.600 align:middle line:84% And I could only reply, "I'm just really ripped." 00:17:31.600 --> 00:17:35.320 align:middle line:84% Days passed without event, and I could persuade myself 00:17:35.320 --> 00:17:38.680 align:middle line:84% that the creature had gone off to greener pastures, however 00:17:38.680 --> 00:17:40.600 align:middle line:84% one evening when Ivan was attending 00:17:40.600 --> 00:17:43.570 align:middle line:84% a meeting of the parish council, my consternation 00:17:43.570 --> 00:17:45.370 align:middle line:90% only grew stronger. 00:17:45.370 --> 00:17:47.650 align:middle line:84% Gina and I got home from the grocery store, 00:17:47.650 --> 00:17:50.150 align:middle line:84% and I parked the pick up close by the feedlot, 00:17:50.150 --> 00:17:54.010 align:middle line:84% so I could hear if she squalled as I was forking out silage. 00:17:54.010 --> 00:17:56.230 align:middle line:84% Hunger was making the cattle ornery. 00:17:56.230 --> 00:17:58.330 align:middle line:84% They straggled over and jostled each other, 00:17:58.330 --> 00:18:01.240 align:middle line:84% resting their long jaws on each other's shoulders, 00:18:01.240 --> 00:18:03.640 align:middle line:90% bawling mom in the night. 00:18:03.640 --> 00:18:05.410 align:middle line:84% And the calves lurched and stared 00:18:05.410 --> 00:18:07.630 align:middle line:90% as I closed the gate behind me. 00:18:07.630 --> 00:18:09.460 align:middle line:84% I collared my face from the cold, 00:18:09.460 --> 00:18:11.620 align:middle line:84% and as I was getting into the truck, 00:18:11.620 --> 00:18:14.050 align:middle line:84% a cry like you hear at a slaughterhouse flew up 00:18:14.050 --> 00:18:15.640 align:middle line:90% from the lagoon. 00:18:15.640 --> 00:18:17.800 align:middle line:84% I thought, "I ought to ignore it," 00:18:17.800 --> 00:18:20.740 align:middle line:90% or "I ought to go to the phone." 00:18:20.740 --> 00:18:22.120 align:middle line:84% But I figured what I really ought 00:18:22.120 --> 00:18:25.000 align:middle line:84% to do is make certain that I was seeing everything right, 00:18:25.000 --> 00:18:27.460 align:middle line:90% that I wasn't making things up. 00:18:27.460 --> 00:18:29.950 align:middle line:90% Famous last words. 00:18:29.950 --> 00:18:33.550 align:middle line:84% I snuggled Gina in the baby crib and went out along the pasture 00:18:33.550 --> 00:18:35.440 align:middle line:84% road looking at the 8 o'clock night that 00:18:35.440 --> 00:18:37.660 align:middle line:90% was closing in all around me. 00:18:37.660 --> 00:18:40.690 align:middle line:84% I glided down over a hill and a stray calf 00:18:40.690 --> 00:18:44.080 align:middle line:84% flung its tail in my headlights as its tiny mind chugged 00:18:44.080 --> 00:18:46.000 align:middle line:90% through its options. 00:18:46.000 --> 00:18:48.130 align:middle line:84% A yard away, its mother was on her side 00:18:48.130 --> 00:18:50.740 align:middle line:84% and swollen up big as two hay bales. 00:18:50.740 --> 00:18:54.160 align:middle line:84% I got out into the spring cold and inspected the cow even 00:18:54.160 --> 00:18:56.050 align:middle line:90% though I knew she was a goner. 00:18:56.050 --> 00:18:59.560 align:middle line:84% And then I looked at the woods and at the moonlighted lagoon, 00:18:59.560 --> 00:19:02.080 align:middle line:84% and I could make out just enough of a blacker image 00:19:02.080 --> 00:19:04.275 align:middle line:84% to put two and two together and see 00:19:04.275 --> 00:19:05.650 align:middle line:84% that it was the creature dragging 00:19:05.650 --> 00:19:07.660 align:middle line:90% cow guts through the grass. 00:19:07.660 --> 00:19:10.750 align:middle line:84% And the gun rack only carried fishing rods on it, 00:19:10.750 --> 00:19:12.940 align:middle line:84% but there was an angel food cake knife wedged 00:19:12.940 --> 00:19:15.760 align:middle line:84% behind the pickup's toolbox, and that was what 00:19:15.760 --> 00:19:17.740 align:middle line:90% I took with me on my quest. 00:19:17.740 --> 00:19:21.040 align:middle line:84% My scalp prickling with fright and goosebumps 00:19:21.040 --> 00:19:22.690 align:middle line:90% on every inch of me. 00:19:22.690 --> 00:19:24.430 align:middle line:84% The chill was mean, like you'd slapped 00:19:24.430 --> 00:19:26.140 align:middle line:90% your hand against gravel. 00:19:26.140 --> 00:19:28.450 align:middle line:84% The wind seemed to gnaw at the trees. 00:19:28.450 --> 00:19:31.270 align:middle line:84% "You're making it up," I kept praying, 00:19:31.270 --> 00:19:33.730 align:middle line:84% and when I approached the lagoon and saw nothing, 00:19:33.730 --> 00:19:36.810 align:middle line:90% I was pleased and full of hope. 00:19:36.810 --> 00:19:39.030 align:middle line:84% The phone rang many times the next day, 00:19:39.030 --> 00:19:40.980 align:middle line:84% but I wouldn't get up to answer it. 00:19:40.980 --> 00:19:44.460 align:middle line:84% I stayed in the room upstairs, hugging the pillow like a body, 00:19:44.460 --> 00:19:46.680 align:middle line:84% aching for the beginning of some other life, 00:19:46.680 --> 00:19:49.890 align:middle line:84% like a girl in a Rosemary Rogers book. 00:19:49.890 --> 00:19:52.860 align:middle line:84% Once again, Annette provided an escape from my doldrums 00:19:52.860 --> 00:19:55.560 align:middle line:84% by speeding over in the orange Trans Am. 00:19:55.560 --> 00:19:57.930 align:middle line:84% Her concern for me and her eternal spunk 00:19:57.930 --> 00:20:01.020 align:middle line:84% are always a great boost for my spirits. 00:20:01.020 --> 00:20:03.900 align:middle line:84% I washed up and went outside with Gina and Annette 00:20:03.900 --> 00:20:07.060 align:middle line:84% said, "what on earth is wrong with your phone?" 00:20:07.060 --> 00:20:09.220 align:middle line:84% I only said, "I was hoping you'd come over," 00:20:09.220 --> 00:20:11.440 align:middle line:84% And Annette slammed the car door. 00:20:11.440 --> 00:20:14.440 align:middle line:84% She hugged me like a girlfriend, and the plastic 00:20:14.440 --> 00:20:16.900 align:middle line:90% over the porch screens popped. 00:20:16.900 --> 00:20:20.050 align:middle line:84% The wind was making mincemeat of the open garbage can, 00:20:20.050 --> 00:20:22.210 align:middle line:84% and yet we sat outside on the porch steps 00:20:22.210 --> 00:20:26.590 align:middle line:84% with some of Slick's dope rolled in zigzag papers. 00:20:26.590 --> 00:20:30.610 align:middle line:84% I zipped Gina into a parka with the wind so blustery. 00:20:30.610 --> 00:20:32.140 align:middle line:90% She was trying to walk. 00:20:32.140 --> 00:20:34.930 align:middle line:84% She'd throw her arms out and buck ahead a step or two, 00:20:34.930 --> 00:20:37.750 align:middle line:84% and then plumped down hard on her butt. 00:20:37.750 --> 00:20:39.970 align:middle line:84% The marijuana wasn't rolled tight enough 00:20:39.970 --> 00:20:43.120 align:middle line:84% and the paper was sticking all the time to my lip. 00:20:43.120 --> 00:20:45.910 align:middle line:84% I looked at the barn, the silo, the road, 00:20:45.910 --> 00:20:49.630 align:middle line:84% seeing nothing of the creature, seeing only my husband urging 00:20:49.630 --> 00:20:51.580 align:middle line:84% the tractor up out of a ditch with Slick 00:20:51.580 --> 00:20:54.850 align:middle line:84% straddling the gangplow's hookups and hoses. 00:20:54.850 --> 00:20:56.860 align:middle line:90% Slick's a master at hydraulics. 00:20:56.860 --> 00:21:00.580 align:middle line:84% The plow swung wide and banged as Ivan established his right 00:21:00.580 --> 00:21:01.540 align:middle line:90% to the road. 00:21:01.540 --> 00:21:03.190 align:middle line:84% Then Ivan shifted the throttle up 00:21:03.190 --> 00:21:05.680 align:middle line:90% and mud flew up from the tires. 00:21:05.680 --> 00:21:07.870 align:middle line:84% One gloved hand rested on a fender lamp, 00:21:07.870 --> 00:21:09.730 align:middle line:84% and he looked past me to our daughter, 00:21:09.730 --> 00:21:11.890 align:middle line:90% scowling and acting put out. 00:21:11.890 --> 00:21:15.580 align:middle line:84% Then they'd return to the yard and Annette waved. 00:21:15.580 --> 00:21:18.190 align:middle line:84% Ivan lifted his right index finger just a tad, 00:21:18.190 --> 00:21:21.760 align:middle line:84% his greeting, then turned the steering wheel hand over hand, 00:21:21.760 --> 00:21:25.390 align:middle line:84% bouncing higher in the spring seat as Slick clung 00:21:25.390 --> 00:21:27.110 align:middle line:90% on for dear life. 00:21:27.110 --> 00:21:30.751 align:middle line:84% Annette said, "my baby isn't Ivan's, you know." 00:21:30.751 --> 00:21:32.600 align:middle line:84% I guess I sighed with remembering 00:21:32.600 --> 00:21:34.640 align:middle line:90% of those painful times. 00:21:34.640 --> 00:21:37.595 align:middle line:84% Annette said, "I'm glad we were able to stay friends." 00:21:37.595 --> 00:21:42.670 align:middle line:90% 00:21:42.670 --> 00:21:44.230 align:middle line:84% "Me too," I said, and I scooched out 00:21:44.230 --> 00:21:46.300 align:middle line:84% to see my little girl with an angel food cake 00:21:46.300 --> 00:21:49.420 align:middle line:84% knife in her hands, waddling over to me. 00:21:49.420 --> 00:21:51.640 align:middle line:84% I yelled, "Gina, you little snot! 00:21:51.640 --> 00:21:53.260 align:middle line:90% Where'd you get that?" 00:21:53.260 --> 00:21:55.810 align:middle line:84% She gave it to me and wiped her hands on her coat. 00:21:55.810 --> 00:21:59.440 align:middle line:84% "Dut," Gina said, and though my husband would probably 00:21:59.440 --> 00:22:02.080 align:middle line:84% have reprimanded her, I knelt down and told her 00:22:02.080 --> 00:22:04.900 align:middle line:84% how she mustn't play with knives and what a good girl she 00:22:04.900 --> 00:22:06.820 align:middle line:90% was to bring it right to me. 00:22:06.820 --> 00:22:09.490 align:middle line:84% She didn't listen for very long, and I put the knife 00:22:09.490 --> 00:22:12.730 align:middle line:84% in my sweater pocket for the time being. 00:22:12.730 --> 00:22:14.640 align:middle line:84% Annette was looking peculiar, and I 00:22:14.640 --> 00:22:16.650 align:middle line:84% could tell she wanted an explanation, 00:22:16.650 --> 00:22:18.740 align:middle line:84% but then there was a commotion in the cattle pen, 00:22:18.740 --> 00:22:20.490 align:middle line:84% and we looked to where Ivan and Slick were 00:22:20.490 --> 00:22:24.300 align:middle line:84% pushing cow rumps aside in order to get close to the trough. 00:22:24.300 --> 00:22:26.700 align:middle line:84% They glared at something on the ground out there, 00:22:26.700 --> 00:22:28.740 align:middle line:84% and I glanced at the cake knife again, 00:22:28.740 --> 00:22:32.010 align:middle line:84% seeing the unmistakable signs of blood. 00:22:32.010 --> 00:22:34.380 align:middle line:84% "I'm going out to the cattle pen," I imparted. 00:22:34.380 --> 00:22:36.180 align:middle line:90% "You keep Gina with you." 00:22:36.180 --> 00:22:39.600 align:middle line:84% Annette said, "I hope your stock is OK." 00:22:39.600 --> 00:22:42.750 align:middle line:84% The day was on the wane as I proceeded across the yard 00:22:42.750 --> 00:22:45.210 align:middle line:84% and onto the cow path inside the pen. 00:22:45.210 --> 00:22:47.220 align:middle line:84% The cake knife gripped in my right hand 00:22:47.220 --> 00:22:49.140 align:middle line:90% within my sweater pocket. 00:22:49.140 --> 00:22:50.940 align:middle line:84% The cattle were rubbing against the fence 00:22:50.940 --> 00:22:55.080 align:middle line:84% and ignorantly surging toward the silage and the feed trough. 00:22:55.080 --> 00:22:59.010 align:middle line:84% Slick was saying, "you ought to get a photograph, Ivan." 00:22:59.010 --> 00:23:02.190 align:middle line:84% My husband kept his eyes on one spot, his gloved hands 00:23:02.190 --> 00:23:05.400 align:middle line:84% on his hips, his left boot experimenting by moving 00:23:05.400 --> 00:23:07.620 align:middle line:90% something I couldn't see. 00:23:07.620 --> 00:23:09.990 align:middle line:84% I got the cattle to part by tilting against him 00:23:09.990 --> 00:23:11.400 align:middle line:90% with all my weight. 00:23:11.400 --> 00:23:15.540 align:middle line:84% They were heavy as Cadillacs, and I made my toilsome way 00:23:15.540 --> 00:23:17.550 align:middle line:84% to my husband's side only to be greeted 00:23:17.550 --> 00:23:20.580 align:middle line:84% with a look of ill tidings, and with an inquiry that 00:23:20.580 --> 00:23:23.640 align:middle line:84% was to justify all my grim forebodings. 00:23:23.640 --> 00:23:26.610 align:middle line:84% He asked, "do you know how it happened, Riva?" 00:23:26.610 --> 00:23:29.160 align:middle line:84% I regarded ground that was soggy of blood 00:23:29.160 --> 00:23:31.950 align:middle line:84% and saw the green creature that I'd so fervently prayed 00:23:31.950 --> 00:23:33.870 align:middle line:90% was long gone. 00:23:33.870 --> 00:23:36.690 align:middle line:84% He was lying on his scaly back, and his yellow eyes 00:23:36.690 --> 00:23:38.610 align:middle line:84% were glowering as if the being were still 00:23:38.610 --> 00:23:42.180 align:middle line:84% enraged over the many stabbings into his heart. 00:23:42.180 --> 00:23:45.510 align:middle line:84% Death had been good for his general attractiveness, 00:23:45.510 --> 00:23:47.730 align:middle line:84% glossing over as many physical flaws, 00:23:47.730 --> 00:23:49.620 align:middle line:84% and giving him a childlike quality that 00:23:49.620 --> 00:23:51.810 align:middle line:90% tugged at my sympathy. 00:23:51.810 --> 00:23:54.480 align:middle line:84% Again, Ivan nudged the being with his boot, 00:23:54.480 --> 00:23:56.550 align:middle line:84% acting like it was no more than a cow, 00:23:56.550 --> 00:24:00.040 align:middle line:84% and asking me with great dismay, "how the dang thing could kill, 00:24:00.040 --> 00:24:01.750 align:middle line:90% do you think?" 00:24:01.750 --> 00:24:03.270 align:middle line:90% And I said, "love. 00:24:03.270 --> 00:24:04.500 align:middle line:90% Love killed it. 00:24:04.500 --> 00:24:07.380 align:middle line:90% Love is sharp as a knife." 00:24:07.380 --> 00:24:11.040 align:middle line:84% Slick gazed upon me strangely, and my husband looked at me 00:24:11.040 --> 00:24:13.770 align:middle line:84% with grief as I sank to the earth among the cattle, 00:24:13.770 --> 00:24:16.110 align:middle line:84% feeling the warmth of their breathing. 00:24:16.110 --> 00:24:18.600 align:middle line:84% I knew then that the anguish I'd experienced 00:24:18.600 --> 00:24:21.810 align:middle line:84% over those past many months was going to disappear 00:24:21.810 --> 00:24:25.950 align:middle line:84% and that my life, over which I despaired for so long, 00:24:25.950 --> 00:24:28.200 align:middle line:84% was going to keep changing and improving 00:24:28.200 --> 00:24:31.540 align:middle line:90% with each minute of the day. 00:24:31.540 --> 00:24:32.040 align:middle line:90% Thank you. 00:24:32.040 --> 00:24:35.526 align:middle line:90% [APPLAUSE] 00:24:35.526 --> 00:24:40.460 align:middle line:90% 00:24:40.460 --> 00:24:40.960 align:middle line:90% Thanks. 00:24:40.960 --> 00:24:44.260 align:middle line:90% 00:24:44.260 --> 00:24:47.740 align:middle line:84% This second story is in a different mode. 00:24:47.740 --> 00:24:51.990 align:middle line:84% It was stimulated by a request from Prairie Schooner. 00:24:51.990 --> 00:24:53.740 align:middle line:84% They're doing a special issue on Nebraska, 00:24:53.740 --> 00:24:56.680 align:middle line:84% and they decided to contact all the Nebraska authors they could 00:24:56.680 --> 00:24:59.890 align:middle line:84% think of, and Wright Morris was busy 00:24:59.890 --> 00:25:03.700 align:middle line:84% and Willa Cather wasn't picking up the phone, I guess. 00:25:03.700 --> 00:25:06.130 align:middle line:84% And I was the third, and so I wrote 00:25:06.130 --> 00:25:11.950 align:middle line:84% something that was kind of used as the prologue for the issue. 00:25:11.950 --> 00:25:15.260 align:middle line:90% It's simply called Nebraska. 00:25:15.260 --> 00:25:19.250 align:middle line:84% The town is Americus, Covenant, Denmark, Grange, Hooray, 00:25:19.250 --> 00:25:21.440 align:middle line:90% Jerusalem, Sweetwater. 00:25:21.440 --> 00:25:24.200 align:middle line:84% One of the lesser known moons of the Platte, 00:25:24.200 --> 00:25:28.250 align:middle line:84% conceived in sickness and misery by European pioneers 00:25:28.250 --> 00:25:30.620 align:middle line:84% who took the path of least resistance, 00:25:30.620 --> 00:25:32.600 align:middle line:84% and put down roots in an emptiness 00:25:32.600 --> 00:25:35.720 align:middle line:84% like the one they kept secret in their youth. 00:25:35.720 --> 00:25:41.030 align:middle line:84% In Swedish and Danish and German and Polish and anxiety and fury 00:25:41.030 --> 00:25:44.000 align:middle line:84% and God's Providence, they chopped out the Great Plains 00:25:44.000 --> 00:25:46.490 align:middle line:84% with spades, creating green sod houses that 00:25:46.490 --> 00:25:48.140 align:middle line:84% crumbled and collapsed in the rain 00:25:48.140 --> 00:25:50.990 align:middle line:84% and disappeared in the first persuasive snow, 00:25:50.990 --> 00:25:54.350 align:middle line:84% and were so low, the grown-ups stooped to go inside. 00:25:54.350 --> 00:25:56.240 align:middle line:84% And yet, were places of ownership 00:25:56.240 --> 00:25:58.400 align:middle line:90% and a hard kind of happiness. 00:25:58.400 --> 00:26:01.190 align:middle line:84% The places their occupants gravely stood before, 00:26:01.190 --> 00:26:05.300 align:middle line:84% on those plenary occasions when photographs were taken. 00:26:05.300 --> 00:26:07.580 align:middle line:84% And then the Union Pacific stopped by, 00:26:07.580 --> 00:26:10.910 align:middle line:84% just a camp of white campaign tents, 00:26:10.910 --> 00:26:13.500 align:middle line:84% and a boy playing his harpoon at night. 00:26:13.500 --> 00:26:15.380 align:middle line:84% And then a supply store, a depot, 00:26:15.380 --> 00:26:19.070 align:middle line:84% a pine water tank, stockyards, and the mean prosperity 00:26:19.070 --> 00:26:21.490 align:middle line:90% of the 20th century. 00:26:21.490 --> 00:26:25.270 align:middle line:84% The train strolling into town to shed a boxcar in the depot side 00:26:25.270 --> 00:26:29.230 align:middle line:84% yard, or crying past at 60 miles per hour, 00:26:29.230 --> 00:26:32.770 align:middle line:84% possibly interrupting a girl in her high wire act, 00:26:32.770 --> 00:26:35.710 align:middle line:84% her arms looping up when she tips to one side. 00:26:35.710 --> 00:26:39.100 align:middle line:84% The rail top is slippery as a silver spoon. 00:26:39.100 --> 00:26:41.170 align:middle line:84% And then the yellow and red locomotive 00:26:41.170 --> 00:26:45.050 align:middle line:84% rises up from the heat shimmer over a mile away. 00:26:45.050 --> 00:26:47.500 align:middle line:84% The August noonday warping the sight of it, 00:26:47.500 --> 00:26:50.410 align:middle line:84% but cinders tapping away from the spikes and the iron 00:26:50.410 --> 00:26:54.280 align:middle line:84% rails already vibrating up inside the girl's shoes. 00:26:54.280 --> 00:26:56.200 align:middle line:84% She steps down to the roadbed and then 00:26:56.200 --> 00:26:59.830 align:middle line:84% into high weeds as the Union Pacific pulls Wyoming coal 00:26:59.830 --> 00:27:03.250 align:middle line:84% and Georgia-Pacific lumber, and snow plow blades 00:27:03.250 --> 00:27:05.380 align:middle line:84% and the slant Japanese pickup trucks 00:27:05.380 --> 00:27:09.920 align:middle line:84% through the green open countryside and on to Omaha. 00:27:09.920 --> 00:27:12.650 align:middle line:84% And when it passes by, a worker she knows 00:27:12.650 --> 00:27:16.100 align:middle line:84% is opposite her, like a pedestrian at a stoplight. 00:27:16.100 --> 00:27:18.650 align:middle line:84% The sun not letting up, the plainsong 00:27:18.650 --> 00:27:21.230 align:middle line:84% of grasshoppers going on and on between them, 00:27:21.230 --> 00:27:24.370 align:middle line:90% until the worker says, "hot." 00:27:24.370 --> 00:27:26.470 align:middle line:84% Twice the Union Pacific tracks cross 00:27:26.470 --> 00:27:28.420 align:middle line:90% over the sidewinding Democrat. 00:27:28.420 --> 00:27:31.900 align:middle line:84% The water, slow as an ox cart, green as silage, 00:27:31.900 --> 00:27:35.590 align:middle line:84% croplands to the east, yards and houses to the west. 00:27:35.590 --> 00:27:38.110 align:middle line:84% A green ceiling of leaves in some places. 00:27:38.110 --> 00:27:40.990 align:middle line:84% Whirlpools showing up in it like spinning plates 00:27:40.990 --> 00:27:43.450 align:middle line:90% that lose speed and disappear. 00:27:43.450 --> 00:27:46.690 align:middle line:84% And winter in a week or more of just above zero, 00:27:46.690 --> 00:27:50.200 align:middle line:84% high school couples walk the gray ice, kicking up snow 00:27:50.200 --> 00:27:52.690 align:middle line:84% as quiet words are passed between them. 00:27:52.690 --> 00:27:54.790 align:middle line:90% Opinions are mildly compromised. 00:27:54.790 --> 00:27:57.070 align:middle line:90% Sorrows are apportioned. 00:27:57.070 --> 00:28:00.970 align:middle line:84% And Emil Jedlicka unslings his blue-stocked .22 and slogs 00:28:00.970 --> 00:28:03.100 align:middle line:84% through high brown weeds and snow, 00:28:03.100 --> 00:28:06.700 align:middle line:84% hunting ring-necked pheasant, sidelong rabbits and-- 00:28:06.700 --> 00:28:10.660 align:middle line:84% always suddenly-- quail, as his little brother Orin sprints 00:28:10.660 --> 00:28:15.290 align:middle line:84% across the Democrat in order to slide like an otter. 00:28:15.290 --> 00:28:18.350 align:middle line:84% July in town is a gray highway and a Ford hay 00:28:18.350 --> 00:28:19.820 align:middle line:90% truck spraying by. 00:28:19.820 --> 00:28:21.890 align:middle line:84% The hay sailing like the yellow ribbon 00:28:21.890 --> 00:28:24.110 align:middle line:84% caught in the mouth of a prancing dog, 00:28:24.110 --> 00:28:28.670 align:middle line:84% and Billy Awalt up there on the camel's hump, 18 years old 00:28:28.670 --> 00:28:32.780 align:middle line:84% and sweaty and dirty, peppered and dappled with hay dust, 00:28:32.780 --> 00:28:36.500 align:middle line:84% a lump of chew like an extra thumb under his lower lip. 00:28:36.500 --> 00:28:39.840 align:middle line:84% His blue eyes happening on a Dairy Queen and a pretty girl 00:28:39.840 --> 00:28:43.310 align:middle line:84% licking a pale trickle of ice cream from the cone. 00:28:43.310 --> 00:28:48.620 align:middle line:84% And Billy slaps his heart and cries, "oh, I am pierced!" 00:28:48.620 --> 00:28:52.100 align:middle line:84% And late October is orange on the ground and blue overhead, 00:28:52.100 --> 00:28:55.670 align:middle line:84% and grain silos stacked up like white poker chips, 00:28:55.670 --> 00:28:59.210 align:middle line:84% and a high silver water tower belittled one night 00:28:59.210 --> 00:29:01.640 align:middle line:84% by the sloppy tattoo of one year's class 00:29:01.640 --> 00:29:04.310 align:middle line:90% at George W. Norris High. 00:29:04.310 --> 00:29:08.150 align:middle line:84% And below the silos and water tower are stripped treetops, 00:29:08.150 --> 00:29:11.300 align:middle line:84% their gray limbs still lifted up in alleluia. 00:29:11.300 --> 00:29:14.210 align:middle line:84% Their yellow leaves crowding along yard fences 00:29:14.210 --> 00:29:16.460 align:middle line:84% and sheeping along the sidewalks and alleys 00:29:16.460 --> 00:29:19.040 align:middle line:90% under the shepherding wind. 00:29:19.040 --> 00:29:22.790 align:middle line:84% Or January, and a heavy snow partitioning the landscape, 00:29:22.790 --> 00:29:25.640 align:middle line:84% whiting out the highways and woods and cattle lots 00:29:25.640 --> 00:29:29.150 align:middle line:84% until there are only open spaces and steamed up window panes. 00:29:29.150 --> 00:29:31.580 align:middle line:84% And a Nordstrom boy limping pitifully 00:29:31.580 --> 00:29:35.060 align:middle line:84% in the hard plaster of his clothes, in a snow park 00:29:35.060 --> 00:29:38.540 align:middle line:84% are meant to be green and a snow cap meant to be purple. 00:29:38.540 --> 00:29:41.540 align:middle line:84% The snow is deep as his hips when the boy tips over 00:29:41.540 --> 00:29:44.450 align:middle line:84% and cannot get up until the little Schumacher girl, 00:29:44.450 --> 00:29:47.690 align:middle line:84% sitting by the stoop window, a spoon in her mouth, 00:29:47.690 --> 00:29:51.200 align:middle line:84% a bowl of Cheerios in her lap, says in plain voice, 00:29:51.200 --> 00:29:56.080 align:middle line:84% "there's a boy," and her mother looks out to the sidewalk. 00:29:56.080 --> 00:29:58.960 align:middle line:84% Houses are big and white and two stories high, 00:29:58.960 --> 00:30:02.350 align:middle line:84% each a cousin to the next, with pigeon roosts in the attic 00:30:02.350 --> 00:30:05.650 align:middle line:84% gables, green storm windows on the upper floor, 00:30:05.650 --> 00:30:10.660 align:middle line:84% and a green screened porch, some as pillowed and couched 00:30:10.660 --> 00:30:13.990 align:middle line:84% as parlors or made into sleeping rooms for the boy whose 00:30:13.990 --> 00:30:17.350 align:middle line:84% next step will be the Navy, and days spent on a ship 00:30:17.350 --> 00:30:19.780 align:middle line:84% with his hometown's own population, 00:30:19.780 --> 00:30:22.420 align:middle line:84% on gray water that rises up and is allayed 00:30:22.420 --> 00:30:26.350 align:middle line:84% like a geography of cornfields, sugar beets, soybeans, wheat, 00:30:26.350 --> 00:30:30.770 align:middle line:84% that stays there and says in its own way, "stay." 00:30:30.770 --> 00:30:32.450 align:middle line:84% Houses are turned away from the land 00:30:32.450 --> 00:30:34.820 align:middle line:84% and toward whatever is not always, 00:30:34.820 --> 00:30:37.040 align:middle line:84% sitting across from each other like dressed up 00:30:37.040 --> 00:30:40.010 align:middle line:84% children at a party in daylight, their parents looking 00:30:40.010 --> 00:30:42.800 align:middle line:84% on with hopes and fond expectations. 00:30:42.800 --> 00:30:46.070 align:middle line:84% Overgrown elm and sycamore trees poached the sunlight 00:30:46.070 --> 00:30:48.470 align:middle line:84% from the lawns and keep petticoats of snow 00:30:48.470 --> 00:30:50.600 align:middle line:90% around them until April. 00:30:50.600 --> 00:30:53.540 align:middle line:84% In the deep lots outback are wire clothes lines 00:30:53.540 --> 00:30:55.850 align:middle line:84% with flapping white sheets pinned to them. 00:30:55.850 --> 00:30:59.590 align:middle line:84% Property lines are hedged with sour green and purple grapes, 00:30:59.590 --> 00:31:03.260 align:middle line:84% or with rabbit wire and gardens of peonies, roses, gladiola, 00:31:03.260 --> 00:31:05.930 align:middle line:90% irises, marigolds, pansies. 00:31:05.930 --> 00:31:09.140 align:middle line:84% Fruit trees are so closely planted that they cannot sway 00:31:09.140 --> 00:31:10.850 align:middle line:90% without knitting. 00:31:10.850 --> 00:31:13.190 align:middle line:84% The apples and cherries drop and sweetly 00:31:13.190 --> 00:31:15.740 align:middle line:84% decompose until there are only slight brown bumps 00:31:15.740 --> 00:31:18.710 align:middle line:84% in the yards, but the pears stay up in the wind, 00:31:18.710 --> 00:31:20.900 align:middle line:84% drooping under the pecks of birds, 00:31:20.900 --> 00:31:23.450 align:middle line:84% withering down like peppers until their passion 00:31:23.450 --> 00:31:28.370 align:middle line:84% and sorrow is justly noticed, and they one day disappear. 00:31:28.370 --> 00:31:30.680 align:middle line:84% Aligned against an alley of blue shale rock 00:31:30.680 --> 00:31:33.500 align:middle line:84% is a garage whose doors slash weeds and scrape up 00:31:33.500 --> 00:31:37.580 align:middle line:84% pebbles, as an old man pokily swings them open, teetering 00:31:37.580 --> 00:31:39.960 align:middle line:90% with his last week push. 00:31:39.960 --> 00:31:42.720 align:middle line:84% And then Victor Johnson rummages inside, 00:31:42.720 --> 00:31:44.820 align:middle line:84% being cautious about his gray sweater 00:31:44.820 --> 00:31:48.510 align:middle line:84% and high topped boots, looking over paint cans, 00:31:48.510 --> 00:31:51.600 align:middle line:84% junked electric motors, grass rakes, and garden rakes, 00:31:51.600 --> 00:31:54.900 align:middle line:84% and pitchforks, and sickles, gray doors and ladders 00:31:54.900 --> 00:31:58.620 align:middle line:84% piled overhead in the rafters, and an old windup Victrola 00:31:58.620 --> 00:32:00.930 align:middle line:84% and heavy platter records from the twenties. 00:32:00.930 --> 00:32:03.000 align:middle line:84% On one of them a soprano singing, 00:32:03.000 --> 00:32:05.620 align:middle line:90% "I'm a lonesome melody." 00:32:05.620 --> 00:32:08.620 align:middle line:84% Under a green tarpaulin is a wooden movie projector 00:32:08.620 --> 00:32:12.430 align:middle line:84% he painted silver, and big cans of tan celluloid, 00:32:12.430 --> 00:32:14.740 align:middle line:84% much of it orange and green with age, 00:32:14.740 --> 00:32:18.760 align:middle line:84% but one strip of it preserved, of an army pilot in jodhpurs 00:32:18.760 --> 00:32:22.750 align:middle line:84% hopping from one biplane and onto another's upper wing. 00:32:22.750 --> 00:32:24.760 align:middle line:84% Country people who had paid to see the movie 00:32:24.760 --> 00:32:26.890 align:middle line:84% had been spellbound by the slight dip 00:32:26.890 --> 00:32:28.870 align:middle line:84% of the wings at the pilot's jump, 00:32:28.870 --> 00:32:31.300 align:middle line:84% the slap of his leather jacket, and how 00:32:31.300 --> 00:32:33.850 align:middle line:84% his hair strayed wild and was promptly slicked back 00:32:33.850 --> 00:32:35.110 align:middle line:90% by the wind. 00:32:35.110 --> 00:32:38.260 align:middle line:84% But looking at the strip now, pulling a ribbon of it 00:32:38.260 --> 00:32:39.880 align:middle line:84% up to the window pane and letting 00:32:39.880 --> 00:32:42.460 align:middle line:84% it unspool to the ground, Victor can only 00:32:42.460 --> 00:32:44.860 align:middle line:84% make out 20 flame frames of the leap 00:32:44.860 --> 00:32:48.220 align:middle line:84% and then snapshot after snapshot of an army pilot clinging 00:32:48.220 --> 00:32:52.030 align:middle line:84% to the biplanes wing, and yet Victor stays with it 00:32:52.030 --> 00:32:54.880 align:middle line:84% as though that scene of one man staying alive 00:32:54.880 --> 00:32:57.940 align:middle line:90% was what he paid his nickel for. 00:32:57.940 --> 00:33:00.050 align:middle line:84% Main Street is just a block away. 00:33:00.050 --> 00:33:02.260 align:middle line:84% Pickup trucks stop in it so their drivers 00:33:02.260 --> 00:33:04.450 align:middle line:84% can angle out over their brown left arms 00:33:04.450 --> 00:33:07.330 align:middle line:84% and speak about crops, or praise the weather, 00:33:07.330 --> 00:33:09.880 align:middle line:84% or make up sentences whose only real point is 00:33:09.880 --> 00:33:12.250 align:middle line:90% their lack of complication. 00:33:12.250 --> 00:33:15.400 align:middle line:84% And then a cattle truck comes by and they a mosey along 00:33:15.400 --> 00:33:18.940 align:middle line:84% with a touch of their cap bills or a slap of the door metal. 00:33:18.940 --> 00:33:21.280 align:middle line:84% High school girls in skintight jeans 00:33:21.280 --> 00:33:23.740 align:middle line:84% stay in one place on weekends and jacked up 00:33:23.740 --> 00:33:27.190 align:middle line:84% cars cruise past, rowdy farm boys overlapping 00:33:27.190 --> 00:33:29.680 align:middle line:84% inside, pulling over now and then in order 00:33:29.680 --> 00:33:32.560 align:middle line:84% to give the girls cigarettes and sips of pop, and grief 00:33:32.560 --> 00:33:34.420 align:middle line:90% about their lipstick. 00:33:34.420 --> 00:33:36.400 align:middle line:84% And when the cars peel out the girls say 00:33:36.400 --> 00:33:38.710 align:middle line:84% how a particular boy measured up, 00:33:38.710 --> 00:33:41.770 align:middle line:84% or they swap gossip about Donna Moriarty and the scope 00:33:41.770 --> 00:33:46.470 align:middle line:84% she permitted Randy when he came back from boot camp. 00:33:46.470 --> 00:33:50.100 align:middle line:84% Everyone is famous in this town and everyone is necessary. 00:33:50.100 --> 00:33:52.350 align:middle line:84% Townspeople go to the Vaughn grocery 00:33:52.350 --> 00:33:55.410 align:middle line:84% store for the daily news and to the home restaurant for history 00:33:55.410 --> 00:33:59.170 align:middle line:84% class, especially at evensong when the old people eat gravy 00:33:59.170 --> 00:34:01.350 align:middle line:84% pot roast and lemon meringue pies, 00:34:01.350 --> 00:34:04.200 align:middle line:84% and calmly sip coffee from cups they tip to their mouths 00:34:04.200 --> 00:34:06.090 align:middle line:90% with both hands. 00:34:06.090 --> 00:34:08.760 align:middle line:84% The Kiwanis Club meets here on Tuesday nights 00:34:08.760 --> 00:34:12.870 align:middle line:84% and hopes are made public, petty sins are tidily dispatched, 00:34:12.870 --> 00:34:15.000 align:middle line:84% the proceeds from the gumball machines 00:34:15.000 --> 00:34:18.929 align:middle line:84% are tallied up and poured into the upkeep of a playground. 00:34:18.929 --> 00:34:22.290 align:middle line:84% Yutesler's Hardware Store has picnic items and kitchen 00:34:22.290 --> 00:34:24.960 align:middle line:84% appliances in its one window, in the manner 00:34:24.960 --> 00:34:26.820 align:middle line:84% of those prosperous men who would prefer 00:34:26.820 --> 00:34:28.949 align:middle line:90% to be known for their hobbies. 00:34:28.949 --> 00:34:31.290 align:middle line:84% And there is one crisp, white Protestant church 00:34:31.290 --> 00:34:34.409 align:middle line:84% with a steeple of the sort pictured on calendars, 00:34:34.409 --> 00:34:37.050 align:middle line:84% and the Immaculate Conception Catholic Church 00:34:37.050 --> 00:34:41.190 align:middle line:84% grayly holding the town at bay like a Gothic wolfhound. 00:34:41.190 --> 00:34:44.280 align:middle line:84% And there is an insurance agency, a county coroner 00:34:44.280 --> 00:34:47.580 align:middle line:84% and justice of the peace, a second hand shop, 00:34:47.580 --> 00:34:49.590 align:middle line:84% a handsome chiropractor named Cook 00:34:49.590 --> 00:34:52.230 align:middle line:84% who coaches the Pony League Baseball team. 00:34:52.230 --> 00:34:54.870 align:middle line:84% A post office approached on unpainted wood steps 00:34:54.870 --> 00:34:57.180 align:middle line:90% outside of a cheap mobile home. 00:34:57.180 --> 00:34:59.010 align:middle line:84% The Nighthawk tavern, where there's 00:34:59.010 --> 00:35:03.360 align:middle line:84% Falstaff tap beer, a green pool table, a poster recording 00:35:03.360 --> 00:35:09.090 align:middle line:84% the Cornhusker scores, a crazy man patiently tolerated, 00:35:09.090 --> 00:35:11.640 align:middle line:84% a gray haired woman with an unmoored eye, 00:35:11.640 --> 00:35:14.220 align:middle line:84% a boy in spectacles thick as paperweights, 00:35:14.220 --> 00:35:16.620 align:middle line:84% a carpenter missing one index finger, 00:35:16.620 --> 00:35:20.100 align:middle line:84% a plump waitress whose day job is in a basement beauty shop, 00:35:20.100 --> 00:35:23.160 align:middle line:84% and an old woman who creeps up to the side door at eight 00:35:23.160 --> 00:35:27.230 align:middle line:84% in order to purchase one shot glass of whiskey. 00:35:27.230 --> 00:35:30.230 align:middle line:84% And yet passing by and paying attention, 00:35:30.230 --> 00:35:33.020 align:middle line:84% an outsider is only aware of what isn't, that there 00:35:33.020 --> 00:35:37.460 align:middle line:84% is no bookshop, no picture show, no pharmacy, or dry cleaners. 00:35:37.460 --> 00:35:41.810 align:middle line:84% No cocktail parties, extreme opinions, jewelry or piano 00:35:41.810 --> 00:35:44.810 align:middle line:84% stores, motels, hotels, hospital, 00:35:44.810 --> 00:35:48.680 align:middle line:84% political headquarters, travel agencies, art galleries, 00:35:48.680 --> 00:35:52.400 align:middle line:84% European fashions, philosophical theories about being 00:35:52.400 --> 00:35:54.320 align:middle line:90% and the soul. 00:35:54.320 --> 00:35:57.380 align:middle line:84% High importance is only attached to practicalities, 00:35:57.380 --> 00:35:59.960 align:middle line:84% and so there is the Bachelor Funeral Home, 00:35:59.960 --> 00:36:02.270 align:middle line:84% where a proud old gentleman is on display 00:36:02.270 --> 00:36:03.950 align:middle line:90% in a dark brown suit. 00:36:03.950 --> 00:36:08.030 align:middle line:84% His yellow fingernails finally clean, his smeared eyeglasses 00:36:08.030 --> 00:36:10.970 align:middle line:84% in his coat pocket, a grandchild on tiptoes 00:36:10.970 --> 00:36:14.540 align:middle line:84% by the casket peering at the lips that will not move, 00:36:14.540 --> 00:36:17.600 align:middle line:84% the sparrow chest that will not rise. 00:36:17.600 --> 00:36:20.390 align:middle line:84% And there's Tommy Seymour's for Sinclair gasoline 00:36:20.390 --> 00:36:24.020 align:middle line:84% and mechanical repairs, a green balloon dinosaur bobbing 00:36:24.020 --> 00:36:26.240 align:middle line:84% from a string over the cash register, 00:36:26.240 --> 00:36:29.000 align:middle line:84% old tires piled up beneath the Cottonwood, 00:36:29.000 --> 00:36:33.050 align:middle line:84% for sale in the side yard, a Case tractor, a John Deere 00:36:33.050 --> 00:36:36.140 align:middle line:84% reaper, a hay mower, a red manure spreader, 00:36:36.140 --> 00:36:37.940 align:middle line:90% and a rusty grain conveyor. 00:36:37.940 --> 00:36:41.570 align:middle line:84% Green weeds overcoming them, standing up inside them, 00:36:41.570 --> 00:36:43.790 align:middle line:84% trying slyly and little by little 00:36:43.790 --> 00:36:46.830 align:middle line:84% to inherit machinery for the earth. 00:36:46.830 --> 00:36:49.710 align:middle line:84% And beyond that are woods, a slope of pasture, 00:36:49.710 --> 00:36:52.290 align:middle line:84% six empty cattle pens, a driveway 00:36:52.290 --> 00:36:54.750 align:middle line:84% made of limestone pebbles, and the house 00:36:54.750 --> 00:36:57.480 align:middle line:84% where Alice Sorenson pages through a child's World Book 00:36:57.480 --> 00:36:59.130 align:middle line:90% Encyclopedia. 00:36:59.130 --> 00:37:01.620 align:middle line:84% Stopping at the descriptions of California, 00:37:01.620 --> 00:37:06.330 align:middle line:84% Cape Town, Ceylon, Colorado, Copenhagen, Corpus Christi, 00:37:06.330 --> 00:37:09.930 align:middle line:90% Costa Rica, Cyprus. 00:37:09.930 --> 00:37:12.720 align:middle line:84% Widow Dworak has been watering the lawn in an open raincoat 00:37:12.720 --> 00:37:15.930 align:middle line:84% and apron, but at nine she walks the green hose around 00:37:15.930 --> 00:37:18.390 align:middle line:84% to the spigot and screws down the nozzle 00:37:18.390 --> 00:37:22.230 align:middle line:84% so that the spray is a misty crystal ball, softly baptizing 00:37:22.230 --> 00:37:23.520 align:middle line:90% the ivy. 00:37:23.520 --> 00:37:26.490 align:middle line:84% She says, "how about some chamomile tea?" 00:37:26.490 --> 00:37:27.870 align:middle line:90% And she says, "yum. 00:37:27.870 --> 00:37:30.720 align:middle line:84% Oh, boy, that hits the spot," and bends 00:37:30.720 --> 00:37:33.060 align:middle line:90% to shut the water off. 00:37:33.060 --> 00:37:34.830 align:middle line:84% The Union Pacific night train rolls 00:37:34.830 --> 00:37:36.810 align:middle line:84% through town just after 10 o'clock, 00:37:36.810 --> 00:37:40.380 align:middle line:84% when a 60-year-old man named Adolph Schooley is a boy again 00:37:40.380 --> 00:37:44.370 align:middle line:84% in bed, and when the huge weight of 40 or 50 cars 00:37:44.370 --> 00:37:48.330 align:middle line:84% jostles his upstairs room like a motor he'd put a quarter in. 00:37:48.330 --> 00:37:52.140 align:middle line:84% And over the sighing industry of the train he can hear the train 00:37:52.140 --> 00:37:56.700 align:middle line:84% saying, "Nebraska, Nebraska, Nebraska, Nebraska," 00:37:56.700 --> 00:37:59.190 align:middle line:90% and he cannot sleep. 00:37:59.190 --> 00:38:02.190 align:middle line:84% Mrs. Antoinette Heft is at the Home restaurant, 00:38:02.190 --> 00:38:06.120 align:middle line:84% placing frozen meat patties on wax paper, 00:38:06.120 --> 00:38:09.270 align:middle line:84% pausing at times to clamp her fingers under her arms, 00:38:09.270 --> 00:38:11.100 align:middle line:90% and press the sting from them. 00:38:11.100 --> 00:38:13.800 align:middle line:84% She stops when the Union Pacific passes then 00:38:13.800 --> 00:38:15.990 align:middle line:84% picks a cigarette out of a pack of Kools 00:38:15.990 --> 00:38:19.230 align:middle line:84% and smokes it on the back porch, smelling air 00:38:19.230 --> 00:38:22.860 align:middle line:84% as crisp as Oxydol, looking up at stars the Pawnee 00:38:22.860 --> 00:38:27.090 align:middle line:84% Indians looked at, hearing the low harmonica of big rigs 00:38:27.090 --> 00:38:29.490 align:middle line:84% on the highway in the town she knows 00:38:29.490 --> 00:38:34.590 align:middle line:84% like the palm of her hand, in the country she knows by heart. 00:38:34.590 --> 00:38:35.130 align:middle line:90% Thank you. 00:38:35.130 --> 00:38:38.480 align:middle line:90% [APPLAUSE] 00:38:38.480 --> 00:39:05.483 align:middle line:90%