WEBVTT

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Well, you don't mind if
one's funny and one isn't.

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[LAUGHTER]

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See, that can be a problem if
you read at a really bad place.

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I've read at some
really, really, really

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out of the way places.

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I shouldn't mention them by
name but really, really bad.

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And there was this
forced attendance.

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[LAUGHING]

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This place-- we're
talking 19th century.

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I'm not kidding you.

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And so it turns out that
in spite of the fact

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that it's one of the worst
colleges in the United States

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that it was a huge audience
because everybody was required.

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[LAUGHING]

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They had to sign in.

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So they didn't know where
they were, and I felt sorry

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for them.

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So I thought I'd start out
and try and loosen them

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up because they were
terrified that the whip was

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going to crack any minute
behind their backs.

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Their teachers were
going to come down

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on them with some horse whip.

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So I-- intentionally I picked
some poem that I thought

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was funnier, that they
would have had access to

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or something.

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And they really enjoyed that.

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It broke the tension great.

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That was it.

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[LAUGHING]

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They laughed for the solid hour.

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[LAUGHING]

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They would not stop-- they
wouldn't stop laughing.

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I read some of the saddest,
most tragic poems--

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[LAUGHING]

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--you've ever
heard in your life.

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[LAUGHING]

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There was no stopping them.

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But you guys go-- apparently
go to about three poetry

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of readings a day.

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[LAUGHING]

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So I won't put up markers.

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[LAUGHTER]

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But I'll just try
and fool you then.

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I don't why I told you
all that, but it was true.

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It was just--

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I hated myself
for it afterwards.

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I thought, well, it's all your
fault. You got them laughing,

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and that was it.

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Now you're-- you
can't blame them.

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Now I'm trying to
think of the name.

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It's in the northwest
corner of Alabama.

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I won't say the name.

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[LAUGHING]

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This next poem's called
"Five Years Old."

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Stars fell all night.

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The ice man had been
very generous that day

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with his chips and slivers.

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And I had buried my pouch of
jewels inside a stone casket

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under the porch, their beauty
saved for another world.

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And then my sister came
home, and I threw a dart

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through her cheek
and cried all night,

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so much that I worship her.

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