WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:01.350 align:middle line:90% 00:00:01.350 --> 00:00:03.720 align:middle line:84% What I tried to do -- in a way consciously-- 00:00:03.720 --> 00:00:06.180 align:middle line:84% I used to sort of kill off my characters. 00:00:06.180 --> 00:00:10.200 align:middle line:84% And I'm not really doing that anymore. 00:00:10.200 --> 00:00:11.250 align:middle line:90% They have to go on. 00:00:11.250 --> 00:00:16.710 align:middle line:84% They have to find a way to live with who and what they are. 00:00:16.710 --> 00:00:18.930 align:middle line:90% Now more than in the past. 00:00:18.930 --> 00:00:21.660 align:middle line:84% It's a convenient way for the writers out there. 00:00:21.660 --> 00:00:24.840 align:middle line:84% It's one of-- especially beginning writers 00:00:24.840 --> 00:00:29.760 align:middle line:84% who just kill off the character in fiction and poetry. 00:00:29.760 --> 00:00:32.430 align:middle line:90% I see it on TV too. 00:00:32.430 --> 00:00:33.750 align:middle line:90% I do watch TV. 00:00:33.750 --> 00:00:37.200 align:middle line:84% Tonight I'm giving up Dynasty to read. 00:00:37.200 --> 00:00:43.380 align:middle line:84% Trashy, trash night, Wednesday night, at least for me. 00:00:43.380 --> 00:00:47.490 align:middle line:90% 00:00:47.490 --> 00:00:51.150 align:middle line:84% See, I have to make a decision here. 00:00:51.150 --> 00:00:55.710 align:middle line:84% I'm also kind of saving myself because the last few poems are 00:00:55.710 --> 00:00:57.010 align:middle line:90% real-- 00:00:57.010 --> 00:00:58.500 align:middle line:90% they're longer. 00:00:58.500 --> 00:01:02.040 align:middle line:84% My new poems are a lot longer and they're very tiring. 00:01:02.040 --> 00:01:07.570 align:middle line:84% And I want to read as many of the better new ones as I can. 00:01:07.570 --> 00:01:09.810 align:middle line:90% This is called "Immortality." 00:01:09.810 --> 00:01:13.530 align:middle line:84% I dreamed I was digging a grave that kept filling with water. 00:01:13.530 --> 00:01:15.540 align:middle line:90% The next day you died. 00:01:15.540 --> 00:01:17.850 align:middle line:84% I dressed you in a wool skirt and jacket 00:01:17.850 --> 00:01:20.760 align:middle line:84% because you were always cold and I had promised 00:01:20.760 --> 00:01:22.570 align:middle line:90% to do that much for you. 00:01:22.570 --> 00:01:24.960 align:middle line:84% Then I took a potato to eat, went outside 00:01:24.960 --> 00:01:26.460 align:middle line:90% and started to dig. 00:01:26.460 --> 00:01:29.400 align:middle line:84% I thought of the Great War, the day we met. 00:01:29.400 --> 00:01:34.120 align:middle line:84% You, thin as a spade handle, wearing cotton in deep winter. 00:01:34.120 --> 00:01:36.930 align:middle line:84% The sunset a clot of dull red floating 00:01:36.930 --> 00:01:41.250 align:middle line:84% in a bowl of cobalt blue as we lay on our backs in the mud. 00:01:41.250 --> 00:01:44.160 align:middle line:84% My hand on your mons and yours pushing at it, 00:01:44.160 --> 00:01:46.740 align:middle line:90% pushing it away, just like that. 00:01:46.740 --> 00:01:48.630 align:middle line:90% And just like that, we parted. 00:01:48.630 --> 00:01:51.240 align:middle line:84% Then one day you found me hoeing potatoes. 00:01:51.240 --> 00:01:53.430 align:middle line:84% Let me help, you said, and handed me 00:01:53.430 --> 00:01:56.280 align:middle line:84% a child with bright red hair like yours. 00:01:56.280 --> 00:01:57.390 align:middle line:90% I married you. 00:01:57.390 --> 00:01:58.290 align:middle line:90% We fought. 00:01:58.290 --> 00:02:00.630 align:middle line:90% Blood sanctifies and blesses. 00:02:00.630 --> 00:02:02.490 align:middle line:90% Blesses, it binds. 00:02:02.490 --> 00:02:04.170 align:middle line:90% Anna, where are you now? 00:02:04.170 --> 00:02:06.780 align:middle line:84% Waltzing down a long mirrored corridor 00:02:06.780 --> 00:02:10.110 align:middle line:84% wrapped in glory that is red, bitter. 00:02:10.110 --> 00:02:13.020 align:middle line:84% I toss a shovel full of dirt on your coffin. 00:02:13.020 --> 00:02:14.970 align:middle line:84% It isn't that I hate you for giving it 00:02:14.970 --> 00:02:16.590 align:middle line:90% all up with your poison. 00:02:16.590 --> 00:02:20.160 align:middle line:84% But I wanted to do it, to finally ease this hunger 00:02:20.160 --> 00:02:22.710 align:middle line:84% to be holy in my devotion to you, 00:02:22.710 --> 00:02:24.930 align:middle line:84% and have you acknowledge it the moment 00:02:24.930 --> 00:02:29.040 align:middle line:84% before I brought the mallet down and set you free. 00:02:29.040 --> 00:02:32.880 align:middle line:84% Life to you was yellow, like the vicar's daughter's braids. 00:02:32.880 --> 00:02:35.940 align:middle line:84% It was morning glories, All Hallows' Eve, 00:02:35.940 --> 00:02:39.120 align:middle line:84% your dead sister's baby teeth for good luck. 00:02:39.120 --> 00:02:44.490 align:middle line:84% But I wanted us to go on day and night without terror or hope. 00:02:44.490 --> 00:02:46.470 align:middle line:90% I can't forgive your going. 00:02:46.470 --> 00:02:50.820 align:middle line:84% I take the potato from my pocket: one bite, then another. 00:02:50.820 --> 00:02:53.685 align:middle line:84% If only this were all it took to live forever. 00:02:53.685 --> 00:02:57.920 align:middle line:90% 00:02:57.920 --> 00:03:00.295 align:middle line:90% [APPLAUSE] 00:03:00.295 --> 00:03:02.210 align:middle line:90% 00:03:02.210 --> 00:03:04.600 align:middle line:84% I'm torn between telling you to wait 00:03:04.600 --> 00:03:06.670 align:middle line:84% but actually the ego part of me wants 00:03:06.670 --> 00:03:09.800 align:middle line:84% you to applaud when you feel like it. 00:03:09.800 --> 00:03:12.550 align:middle line:90% So just keep it up. 00:03:12.550 --> 00:03:15.310 align:middle line:84% The thing is, see what happens though when you're reading, 00:03:15.310 --> 00:03:17.500 align:middle line:84% is sometimes like, "Oh, they didn't 00:03:17.500 --> 00:03:19.420 align:middle line:90% applaud for the last three." 00:03:19.420 --> 00:03:23.380 align:middle line:84% You start and there's a whole psychic thing that goes on. 00:03:23.380 --> 00:03:26.480 align:middle line:90% It's really weird. 00:03:26.480 --> 00:03:27.801 align:middle line:90% OK. 00:03:27.801 --> 00:03:28.301 align:middle line:90%