WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:01.990 align:middle line:90% 00:00:01.990 --> 00:00:07.020 align:middle line:84% This is a poem called "Arkansas Traveler," and is basically-- 00:00:07.020 --> 00:00:10.170 align:middle line:84% or it started out to be about my great-grandfather. 00:00:10.170 --> 00:00:15.380 align:middle line:84% And then, like all my poems, it ended up about 00:00:15.380 --> 00:00:17.910 align:middle line:84% and my grandmother, who I was very fond of, 00:00:17.910 --> 00:00:22.050 align:middle line:90% who was his daughter. 00:00:22.050 --> 00:00:29.220 align:middle line:84% My great-grandfather left Bohemia in 1856 00:00:29.220 --> 00:00:32.520 align:middle line:84% to get out of the Austro-Hungarian War, 00:00:32.520 --> 00:00:34.740 align:middle line:90% and ended up in Arkansas. 00:00:34.740 --> 00:00:37.170 align:middle line:84% And four years later, got in another war 00:00:37.170 --> 00:00:42.090 align:middle line:90% in 1860, as you can imagine. 00:00:42.090 --> 00:00:43.950 align:middle line:90% And I think that's mostly-- 00:00:43.950 --> 00:00:46.740 align:middle line:84% then he ended up in a prison camp for a couple of years 00:00:46.740 --> 00:00:51.510 align:middle line:84% and then went back to Little Rock. 00:00:51.510 --> 00:00:58.980 align:middle line:84% There are some quotes from family letters, 00:00:58.980 --> 00:01:03.720 align:middle line:84% which I feel compelled to go like this for, but I won't. 00:01:03.720 --> 00:01:06.180 align:middle line:84% But I hope you can tell when the quotes come. 00:01:06.180 --> 00:01:08.980 align:middle line:90% 00:01:08.980 --> 00:01:11.058 align:middle line:90% If you can't, tough luck. 00:01:11.058 --> 00:01:11.600 align:middle line:90% I don't know. 00:01:11.600 --> 00:01:13.197 align:middle line:90% I don't know what to say. 00:01:13.197 --> 00:01:14.530 align:middle line:90% I can go like this, but I won't. 00:01:14.530 --> 00:01:16.780 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHTER] 00:01:16.780 --> 00:01:20.020 align:middle line:90% Why do I say these things? 00:01:20.020 --> 00:01:21.556 align:middle line:90% "Arkansas Traveler." 00:01:21.556 --> 00:01:24.960 align:middle line:90% 00:01:24.960 --> 00:01:27.990 align:middle line:84% On the far side of the water, high on a sandbar, 00:01:27.990 --> 00:01:31.680 align:middle line:84% grandfathers are lolling above the Arkansas River-- 00:01:31.680 --> 00:01:34.980 align:middle line:84% guitars in their laps, cloth caps like Cagney 00:01:34.980 --> 00:01:37.200 align:middle line:90% down over their eyes. 00:01:37.200 --> 00:01:39.420 align:middle line:90% A woman is strumming a banjo. 00:01:39.420 --> 00:01:43.920 align:middle line:84% Another adjusts her bowtie and boiled shirtwaist. 00:01:43.920 --> 00:01:46.590 align:middle line:84% And in the half light, the frogs begin from their sleep 00:01:46.590 --> 00:01:48.480 align:middle line:90% to ascend into darkness. 00:01:48.480 --> 00:01:52.740 align:middle line:84% Vespers recalibrate through the underbrush, the insect choir 00:01:52.740 --> 00:01:57.060 align:middle line:84% offering its clear soprano out of the vaulted gum trees, 00:01:57.060 --> 00:01:58.755 align:middle line:84% into the stained glass of the sky. 00:01:58.755 --> 00:02:01.900 align:middle line:90% 00:02:01.900 --> 00:02:07.480 align:middle line:84% Almost 95 years to the day I saw Ellison Smith passed out 00:02:07.480 --> 00:02:10.479 align:middle line:84% on the back seat of an Oldsmobile 88 00:02:10.479 --> 00:02:13.390 align:middle line:84% in the spring of 1952, in Biltmore Forest, North 00:02:13.390 --> 00:02:18.370 align:middle line:84% Carolina, who then rose up from the dark of his 16th year 00:02:18.370 --> 00:02:22.120 align:middle line:84% and said to the nothingness, "Where are we? 00:02:22.120 --> 00:02:24.970 align:middle line:84% Who's driving this goddamn thing?" 00:02:24.970 --> 00:02:27.280 align:middle line:84% My great-grandfather stepped off the boat 00:02:27.280 --> 00:02:30.580 align:middle line:84% from the archduchy of Upper Austria 00:02:30.580 --> 00:02:33.700 align:middle line:84% and headed north to the territory, 00:02:33.700 --> 00:02:37.180 align:middle line:84% and into another war here, just past the Mississippi, 00:02:37.180 --> 00:02:40.390 align:middle line:90% on the Arkansas. 00:02:40.390 --> 00:02:43.780 align:middle line:84% I don't know that it was such a great blessing sending us 00:02:43.780 --> 00:02:47.350 align:middle line:84% to Arkansas, but it was so regarded at the time, 00:02:47.350 --> 00:02:49.840 align:middle line:84% and we're grateful to General Jackson. 00:02:49.840 --> 00:02:53.230 align:middle line:84% Still, don't let me die as grandmother did, suddenly 00:02:53.230 --> 00:02:56.440 align:middle line:84% on a steamboat stuck fast on a sandbar, 00:02:56.440 --> 00:02:59.680 align:middle line:90% unable to get to Little Rock. 00:02:59.680 --> 00:03:01.540 align:middle line:84% And it was four years later, a volunteer 00:03:01.540 --> 00:03:05.440 align:middle line:84% captain in the Confederacy, and took a Minie ball in his palate 00:03:05.440 --> 00:03:07.900 align:middle line:84% at Chickamauga he carried there until his death 00:03:07.900 --> 00:03:10.690 align:middle line:84% almost half a century afterwards, 00:03:10.690 --> 00:03:13.540 align:middle line:84% and wrote a poem back to the widow of one of his men 00:03:13.540 --> 00:03:17.050 align:middle line:84% about a sure return, "where a life is not 00:03:17.050 --> 00:03:21.670 align:middle line:84% a breath, nor life's affections, transient fire in heaven's 00:03:21.670 --> 00:03:23.320 align:middle line:90% light." 00:03:23.320 --> 00:03:26.080 align:middle line:84% He was captured again and wounded again, 00:03:26.080 --> 00:03:29.200 align:middle line:84% confined for two years at Rock Island Prison, 00:03:29.200 --> 00:03:33.280 align:middle line:84% and came back to Little Rock and began his career, 00:03:33.280 --> 00:03:35.260 align:middle line:90% and died at 66-- 00:03:35.260 --> 00:03:38.095 align:middle line:84% a ticket to Cuba stored flat in his jacket pocket. 00:03:38.095 --> 00:03:40.900 align:middle line:90% 00:03:40.900 --> 00:03:43.780 align:middle line:84% When Jesus walked on the night grass, 00:03:43.780 --> 00:03:47.230 align:middle line:84% they say not even the dew trembled. 00:03:47.230 --> 00:03:50.680 align:middle line:84% Such intricate catechisms of desire-- 00:03:50.680 --> 00:03:56.380 align:middle line:84% such golden cars down the wrong side of the sky. 00:03:56.380 --> 00:03:58.300 align:middle line:84% Each summer in Little Rock, like a monk 00:03:58.300 --> 00:04:01.450 align:middle line:84% in his cell saying the lesson over and over until it 00:04:01.450 --> 00:04:04.840 align:middle line:84% is shining, all day I'd prove up my childhood 00:04:04.840 --> 00:04:07.420 align:middle line:84% till lights out snapped on the fireflies who 00:04:07.420 --> 00:04:12.010 align:middle line:84% floated like miniature jellyfish off the reefs of the sleeping 00:04:12.010 --> 00:04:15.400 align:middle line:84% porch, whose jasmine and rose scented air broke over me 00:04:15.400 --> 00:04:18.700 align:middle line:84% back and forth before I could count the half of them, 00:04:18.700 --> 00:04:20.980 align:middle line:90% and settled me under. 00:04:20.980 --> 00:04:22.870 align:middle line:90% This was before I was 10. 00:04:22.870 --> 00:04:26.260 align:middle line:84% That year my grandfather-- my look alike on the sandbar-- 00:04:26.260 --> 00:04:31.150 align:middle line:84% died, the war ended, and nothing was ever the same way again. 00:04:31.150 --> 00:04:34.870 align:middle line:84% His mantelpiece clock sits on my dresser now, still 00:04:34.870 --> 00:04:37.930 align:middle line:90% gilded and 19th century. 00:04:37.930 --> 00:04:40.960 align:middle line:84% Devotion, remember, is what counts. 00:04:40.960 --> 00:04:44.080 align:middle line:84% Without it, you're exiled, twisted, and small. 00:04:44.080 --> 00:04:46.730 align:middle line:90% 00:04:46.730 --> 00:04:50.210 align:middle line:84% The next morning we play golf, four holes on the back side, 00:04:50.210 --> 00:04:53.120 align:middle line:84% trailing our footprints like paired bodies emptied and left 00:04:53.120 --> 00:04:55.400 align:middle line:84% out to dry in the web of sunlight 00:04:55.400 --> 00:04:58.550 align:middle line:84% and wet grass behind us over the clipped fairways. 00:04:58.550 --> 00:05:02.000 align:middle line:84% My grandmother and I, up before anyone else each day 00:05:02.000 --> 00:05:03.470 align:middle line:90% I was there. 00:05:03.470 --> 00:05:06.590 align:middle line:84% The sun, already a huge hot thumb at 7 o'clock 00:05:06.590 --> 00:05:08.930 align:middle line:90% on our bare heads. 00:05:08.930 --> 00:05:13.580 align:middle line:84% Later, its print still warm on my forehead, sunset like carrot 00:05:13.580 --> 00:05:15.860 align:middle line:84% juice down the left pane of the sky 00:05:15.860 --> 00:05:19.550 align:middle line:84% into the indeterminacy of somewhere else. 00:05:19.550 --> 00:05:22.010 align:middle line:84% I'd roll the tarpaulin down and up 00:05:22.010 --> 00:05:25.520 align:middle line:84% on the sleeping porch, the frog shrill and insect 00:05:25.520 --> 00:05:28.820 align:middle line:84% shrill threading out of the bushes as palpable 00:05:28.820 --> 00:05:33.020 align:middle line:84% as a heart string, whatever that was back then. 00:05:33.020 --> 00:05:36.560 align:middle line:90% Always in memory. 00:05:36.560 --> 00:05:39.590 align:middle line:84% To speak of the dead is to make them live again. 00:05:39.590 --> 00:05:41.735 align:middle line:90% We invent what we need. 00:05:41.735 --> 00:05:44.750 align:middle line:84% Knot by knot, I untie myself from the past 00:05:44.750 --> 00:05:48.590 align:middle line:84% and let it rise away from me like a balloon. 00:05:48.590 --> 00:05:51.260 align:middle line:90% What a small thing it becomes. 00:05:51.260 --> 00:05:53.630 align:middle line:84% What a bright tweak at the vanishing point-- 00:05:53.630 --> 00:05:55.810 align:middle line:90% blue on blue. 00:05:55.810 --> 00:05:58.000 align:middle line:90%