This is a different form of poem.
You've all been presented with questionnaires at odd moments,
and this poem is a questionnaire.
And like all questionnaires, it's meant to be exhausted.
[LAUGHTER]
It's called "Questions To Tourists Stopped
By A Pineapple Field."
[LAUGHTER]
Did you like your piece of pineapple?
Would you like a napkin?
Who gave you the pineapple?
What do you know about them?
Do you eat much pineapple where you come from?
How did this piece compare with pineapple
you have eaten before?
What do you remember about the last time
you ate a piece of pineapple?
Did you know where it came from?
How much did it cost?
Do you remember the first time you tasted pineapple?
Do you like it better fresh or from the can?
What do you remember of the picture on the can?
What did you feel as you looked at the picture?
Which do you like better, the picture or the pineapple field?
[LAUGHTER]
Did you ever imagine pineapples growing somewhere?
How do you like these pineapple fields?
Have you ever seen pineapple fields before?
Do you know whether pineapple is native to the island?
Do you know whether the natives ate pineapple?
Do you know whether the natives grew pineapple?
Do you know how the land was acquired to be
turned into pineapple fields?
Do you know what is done to the land
to turn it into pineapple fields?
Do you know how many months and how deeply they plow it?
Do you know what those machines do?
Are you impressed?
Do you know what is in those containers?
Are you interested?
What do you think was here before the pineapple fields?
Would you suppose that the fields
represent an improvement?
Do you think they smell better than they did before?
What is your opinion of those square miles of black plastic?
Where do you think the plastic goes when the crop is over?
What do you think becomes of the land when the crop is over?
Do you think the growers know best?
Do you think this is for your own good?
What and where was the last bird you noticed?
Do you remember what sort of bird it was?
Do you know whether there were birds here before?
Are there any birds where you come from?
Do you think it matters?
What do you think matters more?
Have you seen any natives since you arrived?
What were they doing?
What were they wearing?
What language were they speaking?
Were they in nightclubs?
Are there any natives where you come from?
[LAUGHTER]
Have you taken pictures of the pineapple fields?
Would you like for me to hold the camera so that you
could all be in the picture?
Would you mind if I took your picture standing in front
of those pineapple fields?
Do you expect to come back?
What made you decide to come here?
Was this what you came for?
When did you first hear of the islands?
Where were you then?
How old were you?
Did you first see the islands in black and white?
What words were used to describe the islands?
What do the words mean now that you are here?
What do you do for a living?
What would you say is the color of pineapple leaves?
When you look at things in rows, how do you feel?
Would you like to dream of pineapple fields?
Is this your first visit?
How do you like the islands?
What would you say, in your own words,
you like best about the islands?
What do you want when you take a trip?
When did you get here?
How long will you be staying?
Did you buy any clothes especially for the islands?
How much did you spend on them before you came?
Was it easy to find clothes for the islands?
How much have you spent on clothes since you got here?
Did you make your own plans, or are you part of a group?
Would you rather be on your own or with a group?
How many are in your group?
How much was your ticket?
Are the side tours part of the ticket, or are they extra?
Are hotel and meals and car part of the ticket or extra?
Have you already paid, or will you pay later?
Did you pay by check or by credit card?
Is this car rented by the day or week?
How does it compare with the one you drive at home?
How many miles does it do to a gallon?
How far do you want to go on this island?
Where have you been in the last three hours?
What have you seen in the last three miles?
Do you feel hurried on your vacation?
Are you getting your money's worth?
How old are you?
Are you homesick?
Are you well?
What do you eat here?
Is it what you want?
What gifts are you planning to take back?
How much do you expect to spend on them?
What have you bought to take home with you?
Have you decided where to put each thing?
What will you say about where they came from?
What will you say about the pineapple fields?
Do you like dancing here?
What do you do when it rains?
Was this trip purely for pleasure?
Do you drink more or less than at home?
How do you like the place where you live now?
Were you born there?
How long have you lived there?
What does the name mean?
Is it a growth community?
Why are you living there?
How long do you expect to stay?
How old is your house?
Would you like to sell it?
[LAUGHTER]
In your opinion, coming from your background,
what do the islands offer someone of your age?
Are there any changes you would like to promote?
Would you like to invest here?
Would you like to live here?
If so, would it be year-round or just for part of the year?
Do you think there is a future in pineapple?
[APPLAUSE]