WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:01.290 align:middle line:90% 00:00:01.290 --> 00:00:03.660 align:middle line:90% OK. 00:00:03.660 --> 00:00:05.790 align:middle line:84% People ask me, they say, why don't you-- 00:00:05.790 --> 00:00:07.290 align:middle line:84% do you pick your poems in advance? 00:00:07.290 --> 00:00:10.240 align:middle line:84% And I kind of did because some of the things are in books. 00:00:10.240 --> 00:00:12.550 align:middle line:84% And I want to make sure of the page numbers. 00:00:12.550 --> 00:00:14.070 align:middle line:90% But then I see an audience. 00:00:14.070 --> 00:00:17.310 align:middle line:84% And I sort of start to change according to the faces 00:00:17.310 --> 00:00:19.380 align:middle line:84% and stuff that I'm getting back in the audience. 00:00:19.380 --> 00:00:20.922 align:middle line:84% And you're probably all going to hate 00:00:20.922 --> 00:00:22.680 align:middle line:90% this poem after I say this. 00:00:22.680 --> 00:00:24.670 align:middle line:90% But I do a lot of persona poems. 00:00:24.670 --> 00:00:27.400 align:middle line:84% I do a lot of poems in the voices of other people. 00:00:27.400 --> 00:00:32.640 align:middle line:84% So this poem, when I was a little kid, 00:00:32.640 --> 00:00:35.640 align:middle line:84% my father would take me to the barbershop. 00:00:35.640 --> 00:00:39.090 align:middle line:84% And when my son was small, he would take him 00:00:39.090 --> 00:00:39.848 align:middle line:90% to the barbershop. 00:00:39.848 --> 00:00:42.390 align:middle line:84% And even though it was different cities and years had passed, 00:00:42.390 --> 00:00:44.340 align:middle line:84% it was almost like the same barber. 00:00:44.340 --> 00:00:45.960 align:middle line:84% So I'm always asking kids especially 00:00:45.960 --> 00:00:47.640 align:middle line:84% who want to write poetry that they should always 00:00:47.640 --> 00:00:49.530 align:middle line:84% listen to voices that are around them all the time. 00:00:49.530 --> 00:00:51.630 align:middle line:84% You never know where you're going to find a poem. 00:00:51.630 --> 00:00:54.288 align:middle line:84% So you know how barbers gossip about everybody? 00:00:54.288 --> 00:00:55.830 align:middle line:84% You know there's always a big picture 00:00:55.830 --> 00:00:58.350 align:middle line:84% window in the barbershop and everybody that passes by, 00:00:58.350 --> 00:01:00.160 align:middle line:84% they got something to say about them. 00:01:00.160 --> 00:01:02.077 align:middle line:84% And sometimes they forget you're sitting there 00:01:02.077 --> 00:01:04.890 align:middle line:90% and start talking about you. 00:01:04.890 --> 00:01:08.730 align:middle line:84% And they're always talking about how many women they've had. 00:01:08.730 --> 00:01:09.870 align:middle line:90% And you know they're lying. 00:01:09.870 --> 00:01:11.670 align:middle line:84% You know, how many women they had, 00:01:11.670 --> 00:01:15.060 align:middle line:84% how great their sex life is, and it's just a running commentary 00:01:15.060 --> 00:01:16.140 align:middle line:90% the whole time. 00:01:16.140 --> 00:01:20.620 align:middle line:84% So this is dedicated to a barber by the name of Terrell. 00:01:20.620 --> 00:01:23.280 align:middle line:90% This has mild sexual content. 00:01:23.280 --> 00:01:27.060 align:middle line:84% So any of you will be offended are welcome to leave now. 00:01:27.060 --> 00:01:30.465 align:middle line:84% And we'll just all watch you walk out and laugh. 00:01:30.465 --> 00:01:34.950 align:middle line:90% 00:01:34.950 --> 00:01:36.990 align:middle line:84% Well, look who comes walking into my barbershop, 00:01:36.990 --> 00:01:38.790 align:middle line:90% still wearing that Jheri curl. 00:01:38.790 --> 00:01:40.093 align:middle line:90% You know man, it's 2000. 00:01:40.093 --> 00:01:41.760 align:middle line:84% Ain't nobody got no time for that grease 00:01:41.760 --> 00:01:43.427 align:middle line:84% dripping all down their neck, especially 00:01:43.427 --> 00:01:44.490 align:middle line:90% hot as it is out there. 00:01:44.490 --> 00:01:46.180 align:middle line:84% Come here, let me clip that stuff down. 00:01:46.180 --> 00:01:47.220 align:middle line:90% Let those nats grow out. 00:01:47.220 --> 00:01:49.230 align:middle line:84% You know, a couple of weeks, I hook you up with a fade. 00:01:49.230 --> 00:01:50.610 align:middle line:84% The sisters don't like putting their hands 00:01:50.610 --> 00:01:51.700 align:middle line:90% in that greasy mess. 00:01:51.700 --> 00:01:53.940 align:middle line:84% And did you all see that child Aretha on stage? 00:01:53.940 --> 00:01:54.960 align:middle line:90% The president sang. 00:01:54.960 --> 00:01:57.180 align:middle line:84% Trailing all that fur like she's Queen Elizabeth 00:01:57.180 --> 00:01:58.920 align:middle line:90% and all that fat underneath it. 00:01:58.920 --> 00:02:01.320 align:middle line:84% I ain't never seen no black woman with money stay fat. 00:02:01.320 --> 00:02:03.840 align:middle line:84% Chickens see her coming, even the bones get scared. 00:02:03.840 --> 00:02:05.940 align:middle line:84% That child will eat a spaghetti strap. 00:02:05.940 --> 00:02:08.340 align:middle line:90% What's that song she sang? 00:02:08.340 --> 00:02:08.985 align:middle line:90% "Ain't No Way." 00:02:08.985 --> 00:02:10.110 align:middle line:90% Well I guess it sho' ain't. 00:02:10.110 --> 00:02:11.640 align:middle line:90% She got one chance though. 00:02:11.640 --> 00:02:15.270 align:middle line:84% If you stay alive long enough, time will make you skinny. 00:02:15.270 --> 00:02:18.600 align:middle line:84% I just don't know if she got that much time. 00:02:18.600 --> 00:02:21.570 align:middle line:84% Oh, yeah, there go that gal I was telling you all about. 00:02:21.570 --> 00:02:23.442 align:middle line:84% Got enough ass to bounce a drink on. 00:02:23.442 --> 00:02:25.650 align:middle line:84% I'm going to be knee deep in that come Saturday night 00:02:25.650 --> 00:02:27.240 align:middle line:84% or my name ain't Terrell Anderson Jr. 00:02:27.240 --> 00:02:29.325 align:middle line:84% And I ain't got my hand tussling in your head. 00:02:29.325 --> 00:02:30.450 align:middle line:90% Man, she don't know me yet. 00:02:30.450 --> 00:02:31.350 align:middle line:90% But she will. 00:02:31.350 --> 00:02:33.840 align:middle line:84% I bet she's already heard about how my lovemaking done put 00:02:33.840 --> 00:02:35.593 align:middle line:90% a few sisters on crutches. 00:02:35.593 --> 00:02:37.260 align:middle line:84% I just whip some of this nature on them. 00:02:37.260 --> 00:02:38.970 align:middle line:84% Now they drooling and barking like dogs. 00:02:38.970 --> 00:02:40.053 align:middle line:90% Hell, y'all quit laughing. 00:02:40.053 --> 00:02:42.180 align:middle line:84% Yo, whoa, Thomas, you ask your sister. 00:02:42.180 --> 00:02:45.350 align:middle line:84% And you over there, ask your mama. 00:02:45.350 --> 00:02:47.988 align:middle line:84% They say size no matter, but it do if it's this size, man. 00:02:47.988 --> 00:02:50.280 align:middle line:84% I have to bind it to my leg, it would scare you all out 00:02:50.280 --> 00:02:51.415 align:middle line:90% of here. 00:02:51.415 --> 00:02:53.790 align:middle line:84% Come next week, you all can ask that gal y'all just seen. 00:02:53.790 --> 00:02:55.832 align:middle line:84% She'll be passing by that window in a wheelchair. 00:02:55.832 --> 00:02:56.970 align:middle line:90% Mark my words. 00:02:56.970 --> 00:02:58.650 align:middle line:84% And Thomas, one too many times I done 00:02:58.650 --> 00:03:01.260 align:middle line:84% seen your wife over across the street in the butcher shop. 00:03:01.260 --> 00:03:04.200 align:middle line:84% And the meat she asked him for ain't what makes it 00:03:04.200 --> 00:03:06.042 align:middle line:90% to your table for supper. 00:03:06.042 --> 00:03:07.500 align:middle line:84% She's over there behind the counter 00:03:07.500 --> 00:03:09.417 align:middle line:84% like she's interested in the butcher business. 00:03:09.417 --> 00:03:12.270 align:middle line:84% What she's interested in is the butcher's business. 00:03:12.270 --> 00:03:13.873 align:middle line:84% And you might be asking yourself why? 00:03:13.873 --> 00:03:15.540 align:middle line:84% You better start taking care of business 00:03:15.540 --> 00:03:17.460 align:middle line:84% at your own home, my man, before she get a taste that 00:03:17.460 --> 00:03:18.600 align:middle line:90% sausage he's selling. 00:03:18.600 --> 00:03:20.700 align:middle line:84% Then you'll be able to talk about she gone. 00:03:20.700 --> 00:03:21.737 align:middle line:90% She gone. 00:03:21.737 --> 00:03:23.820 align:middle line:84% Man, I'm telling you women are liberated nowadays. 00:03:23.820 --> 00:03:25.170 align:middle line:84% You can't be climbing up on top of them, 00:03:25.170 --> 00:03:26.587 align:middle line:84% poking them like you got somewhere 00:03:26.587 --> 00:03:29.340 align:middle line:90% else to be in five minutes. 00:03:29.340 --> 00:03:31.630 align:middle line:84% Once again, men of Tucson, you can't be climbing up 00:03:31.630 --> 00:03:33.380 align:middle line:84% on top of them like you got somewhere else 00:03:33.380 --> 00:03:34.500 align:middle line:90% to be in five minutes. 00:03:34.500 --> 00:03:36.510 align:middle line:84% And every time you get a chance, there 00:03:36.510 --> 00:03:38.430 align:middle line:84% you are up in the Continental, sniffing all up 00:03:38.430 --> 00:03:41.140 align:middle line:84% Deborah Ann's young butt like she wants something from you 00:03:41.140 --> 00:03:43.105 align:middle line:84% besides that money always waving around. 00:03:43.105 --> 00:03:43.980 align:middle line:90% Man, let me tell you. 00:03:43.980 --> 00:03:46.320 align:middle line:84% Anytime you see flies buzzing around a sister, 00:03:46.320 --> 00:03:50.370 align:middle line:84% and it ain't summer, it's time to move on to another one. 00:03:50.370 --> 00:03:53.098 align:middle line:84% I don't know, man, your wife got some nice legs on her. 00:03:53.098 --> 00:03:55.140 align:middle line:84% You know if that butcher don't take her up on it, 00:03:55.140 --> 00:03:56.430 align:middle line:90% I might get in line. 00:03:56.430 --> 00:03:58.530 align:middle line:90% And what are you talking-- 00:03:58.530 --> 00:03:59.730 align:middle line:90% what's wrong with your boy? 00:03:59.730 --> 00:04:03.240 align:middle line:84% Damn near 40 years old, no woman in sight. 00:04:03.240 --> 00:04:04.845 align:middle line:90% Could be he just ugly though. 00:04:04.845 --> 00:04:07.950 align:middle line:84% You know, the other night I heard a blind woman turning him 00:04:07.950 --> 00:04:08.460 align:middle line:90% down. 00:04:08.460 --> 00:04:13.030 align:middle line:84% Says she could just imagine how ugly he was. 00:04:13.030 --> 00:04:14.950 align:middle line:84% You ain't talking about some activator, man. 00:04:14.950 --> 00:04:16.209 align:middle line:84% You better activate your head under this razor 00:04:16.209 --> 00:04:17.834 align:middle line:84% and let me cut that stuff out of there. 00:04:17.834 --> 00:04:19.329 align:middle line:90% This 2000 now. 00:04:19.329 --> 00:04:20.829 align:middle line:90% Let me see if I can tell you. 00:04:20.829 --> 00:04:23.342 align:middle line:90% Black man free now. 00:04:23.342 --> 00:04:26.110 align:middle line:90% Superfly done flew. 00:04:26.110 --> 00:04:27.580 align:middle line:90% I've been doing this 40 years. 00:04:27.580 --> 00:04:30.160 align:middle line:84% This is Terrell's Afrocentric Barbershop Fade 00:04:30.160 --> 00:04:32.230 align:middle line:90% Palace and Wild Style Emporium. 00:04:32.230 --> 00:04:37.675 align:middle line:84% Now put your ass in my chair and put your head in my hands. 00:04:37.675 --> 00:04:41.475 align:middle line:90% [APPLAUSE] 00:04:41.475 --> 00:04:45.365 align:middle line:90% 00:04:45.365 --> 00:04:48.550 align:middle line:84% Just one look at you all, said, oop, mild sexual content. 00:04:48.550 --> 00:04:53.180 align:middle line:84% [INAUDIBLE] That's right now, you know.