OK.
Do it, Reg.
Hey, man.
All right.
"Some Pentameters of Texas" and more and more of these states,
some of this is in quotes.
But I won't make those funny hand signals.
"America is in love with what is new.
Partner you can take that to the bank.
But this ain't really love.
It's just a way to keep on spending
all our heart earned cash.
Profit and putrefy are words derived from the same
Indo-European root, words signifying and "euro-logical".
One of our agents will be with you shortly.
Thank you for continuing to hold.
I would rather he was inside the tent
and pissing out than outside pissing in.
Honey, do you want to talk about it?
Well, call me later when you feel like talking.
If you are at a TouchTone phone, press one.
Please, clearly say the number of the flight.
Would you like departure or arrival?
The captain has turned on the seat belt sign.
And there might be some turbulence.
Hang on.
He liked to break my neck.
He hugged me so hard.
But once we got to flying right, he
said, howdy, and tried to sell me some damn thing,
not that I don't need an angle myself.
I will string the old beads you are saving.
Any ironing you need doing, ma'am?
Can I cut your grass for you today or do your income taxes
for you or help you with your home computer,
paint your house?
For sale, eight purebred beagle puppies, cheap.
¿Cómo puedo servirle a Usted?
Do y'all speak any English in this store?
Let me get a little bit ahead.
Let me ride that rocket ship you got.
Compassionate conservatism's horse shit.
We all know that for a Texas fact.
Across the hot damned summer, the Spanish Moss
is hanging from those crooked dollar signs.
Money unlike water flows upstream.
Turkey buzzards roost on cell phone towers.
God is an invaginating absence.
I'm not the man I didn't even used to be.
Would you like fries to go with that?
You got to get some nighttime entertainment,
you go to the whorehouse to get some whore.
You got to fix your fence that's fallen down,
you go to the war house to get some war."