WEBVTT

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So I don't know if any of you
have had a devastating tarot

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reading.

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Does this-- is this possible.

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I see nod, yes.

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You've had one.

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Have you ever had a
devastating tarot reading

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in a room full of
your closest friends?

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No.

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OK.

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So that one's a lot.

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I will tell you all
that three of swords.

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The three of swords card is--

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and I'll describe
it also in the poem.

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But it's a heart.

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And then there are three
swords in the heart.

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I was like come on, not
in front of everybody.

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So this is titled, "Sighting:
Tarot, Pflugerville, Texas."

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"I learned how to hug here.

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How to draw a
boundary and hold here

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against the gale force
of my mother's late night

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rage and sob.

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Learn, too, what it meant
to be chosen, to choose.

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Brought myself back
to the receiving line.

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My chest cracked
into two wet pieces

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after a fall so lonesome,
I wasn't sure I'd survive.

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And met the arms
practiced in mending.

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I asked Jenny to read my cards.

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Syd and Shannon on
the couch behind me.

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Amber and Joe in the kitchen.

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Nat in from Berkeley.

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The kids running around.

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Carlisha, I'm sure,
at my right hand.

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Jenny spread the Celtic cross.

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Gestured as she does,
which is to say grandly,

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am I present, at the
problem we all knew.

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The past, the conscious
and unconscious.

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Waited for the cards to
name what we could all see.

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There at the position
of hopes and fears.

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Three swords and one heart.

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How rude, I thought.

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Do you all see this shit, I said
aloud to the room gone quiet.

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A relief not to have to say
what I had known in the room

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where I'd learned
the kind of love

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possible between
friends, now family.

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The kindness possible
between partners.

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Grateful for the rough
blow finally landed

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and the net to catch me."

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