WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:03.550 align:middle line:90% 00:00:03.550 --> 00:00:06.520 align:middle line:84% I'm going to read From the Catalogue of Cruelty. 00:00:06.520 --> 00:00:13.450 align:middle line:84% And I feel sometimes conflicted about reading this one in part, 00:00:13.450 --> 00:00:16.360 align:middle line:84% because I feel bad remembering slapping my sister. 00:00:16.360 --> 00:00:17.920 align:middle line:90% It's how the poem starts. 00:00:17.920 --> 00:00:19.840 align:middle line:84% The speaker slaps her sister, but I also 00:00:19.840 --> 00:00:22.330 align:middle line:84% slap my sister, so there's a way that we 00:00:22.330 --> 00:00:26.050 align:middle line:90% are very close in this moment. 00:00:26.050 --> 00:00:30.100 align:middle line:90% I don't know, and kids are hard. 00:00:30.100 --> 00:00:33.950 align:middle line:84% And also later, the speaker, like myself, 00:00:33.950 --> 00:00:36.610 align:middle line:84% I kicked my friend in the testicles, 00:00:36.610 --> 00:00:38.678 align:middle line:90% I felt bad about that. 00:00:38.678 --> 00:00:40.720 align:middle line:84% See you all are laughing, but you wouldn't if you 00:00:40.720 --> 00:00:44.320 align:middle line:84% were the one who would've been kicked in the testicles. 00:00:44.320 --> 00:00:46.210 align:middle line:84% So I just want you to know I feel bad. 00:00:46.210 --> 00:00:47.770 align:middle line:90% That feels important to me. 00:00:47.770 --> 00:00:50.830 align:middle line:90% I'm not like, ha ha. 00:00:50.830 --> 00:00:54.070 align:middle line:84% So From the Catalogue of Cruelty. 00:00:54.070 --> 00:00:57.940 align:middle line:84% Once, I slapped my sister with the back of my hand. 00:00:57.940 --> 00:01:01.510 align:middle line:84% We were so small, but I wanted to know how it felt. 00:01:01.510 --> 00:01:04.480 align:middle line:84% My hand raised high across the opposite shoulder, 00:01:04.480 --> 00:01:06.790 align:middle line:90% slicing down like a trapeze. 00:01:06.790 --> 00:01:08.900 align:middle line:90% Her face caught my hand. 00:01:08.900 --> 00:01:10.720 align:middle line:84% I'd slapped her in our yellow room 00:01:10.720 --> 00:01:12.760 align:middle line:84% with circus animals on the curtain. 00:01:12.760 --> 00:01:15.760 align:middle line:84% I don't remember how it felt. I was a rough child. 00:01:15.760 --> 00:01:17.080 align:middle line:90% I said no. 00:01:17.080 --> 00:01:18.910 align:middle line:90% I said, these are my things. 00:01:18.910 --> 00:01:21.520 align:middle line:84% I was speaking, usually, of my socks. 00:01:21.520 --> 00:01:24.820 align:middle line:84% White, athletic, thin and already gray on the bottom, 00:01:24.820 --> 00:01:26.410 align:middle line:90% never where I left them. 00:01:26.410 --> 00:01:29.230 align:middle line:84% I was speaking of my fists raining down 00:01:29.230 --> 00:01:30.370 align:middle line:90% on my brother's back. 00:01:30.370 --> 00:01:33.740 align:middle line:90% My sister's socks. 00:01:33.740 --> 00:01:35.480 align:middle line:84% In the fourth grade, in California, 00:01:35.480 --> 00:01:37.700 align:middle line:84% I kicked Charles in the testicles. 00:01:37.700 --> 00:01:40.070 align:middle line:84% At that school, we played softball. 00:01:40.070 --> 00:01:42.470 align:middle line:84% Hit the red playground ball with the size of our hands 00:01:42.470 --> 00:01:44.000 align:middle line:90% and ran the bases. 00:01:44.000 --> 00:01:46.010 align:middle line:84% I kicked Charles with the top of my foot, 00:01:46.010 --> 00:01:48.170 align:middle line:84% caught him in the hinge of ankle. 00:01:48.170 --> 00:01:50.370 align:middle line:84% I wanted to see what would happen. 00:01:50.370 --> 00:01:53.990 align:middle line:84% I didn't believe anything could hurt like it did on TV. 00:01:53.990 --> 00:01:57.290 align:middle line:84% Charles folded in half at the crease of his waist. 00:01:57.290 --> 00:02:00.350 align:middle line:84% My God, I was a rough child, but I believed Charles, 00:02:00.350 --> 00:02:02.600 align:middle line:84% that my foot turned him to paper. 00:02:02.600 --> 00:02:06.500 align:middle line:84% Later, I kicked my dad the same way, but he did not crumple. 00:02:06.500 --> 00:02:08.479 align:middle line:90% It was summer in Arkansas. 00:02:08.479 --> 00:02:11.340 align:middle line:84% What humidity, these children, full of water. 00:02:11.340 --> 00:02:13.430 align:middle line:84% I hit him also with a frying pan. 00:02:13.430 --> 00:02:15.560 align:middle line:90% I hit him also with a guitar. 00:02:15.560 --> 00:02:16.850 align:middle line:90% We laughed later. 00:02:16.850 --> 00:02:19.280 align:middle line:90% Where had the guitar come from? 00:02:19.280 --> 00:02:21.980 align:middle line:90% My dad was a star collapsing. 00:02:21.980 --> 00:02:23.960 align:middle line:84% The first thing a dying star does 00:02:23.960 --> 00:02:26.730 align:middle line:84% is swell, swallows whatever is near. 00:02:26.730 --> 00:02:28.730 align:middle line:84% He tried to take us into his body, which was 00:02:28.730 --> 00:02:30.410 align:middle line:90% the house the police entered. 00:02:30.410 --> 00:02:32.780 align:middle line:90% This is how I knew he was dying. 00:02:32.780 --> 00:02:34.430 align:middle line:90% I'd called the police. 00:02:34.430 --> 00:02:36.010 align:middle line:90% What is your name? 00:02:36.010 --> 00:02:38.510 align:middle line:84% He tried to put us through the walls of the house the police 00:02:38.510 --> 00:02:40.400 align:middle line:90% entered, which was his body. 00:02:40.400 --> 00:02:42.440 align:middle line:90% What is your name? 00:02:42.440 --> 00:02:43.430 align:middle line:90% Compromised. 00:02:43.430 --> 00:02:45.650 align:middle line:84% The integrity of a body contracting. 00:02:45.650 --> 00:02:47.540 align:middle line:90% What is your name, sir? 00:02:47.540 --> 00:02:49.310 align:middle line:90% He answered, Cronos. 00:02:49.310 --> 00:02:50.900 align:middle line:90% He answered, I'm hungry. 00:02:50.900 --> 00:02:53.270 align:middle line:90% He answered, a God long dead. 00:02:53.270 --> 00:02:56.720 align:middle line:84% He threw up all his children right there on the carpet. 00:02:56.720 --> 00:03:00.470 align:middle line:84% After all, we were so small, the children. 00:03:00.470 --> 00:03:02.450 align:middle line:84% The thing about a star collapsing 00:03:02.450 --> 00:03:06.020 align:middle line:84% is that it knows neither that it is a star nor in collapse. 00:03:06.020 --> 00:03:09.000 align:middle line:84% Everything is stardust, everything essential. 00:03:09.000 --> 00:03:10.160 align:middle line:90% What is your name? 00:03:10.160 --> 00:03:12.350 align:middle line:90% Everything is resisting arrest. 00:03:12.350 --> 00:03:14.780 align:middle line:84% Its gravity crushes the children and the cruiser's 00:03:14.780 --> 00:03:16.340 align:middle line:90% rear passenger window. 00:03:16.340 --> 00:03:19.040 align:middle line:84% The officer didn't know the star's name. 00:03:19.040 --> 00:03:20.030 align:middle line:90% White dwarf? 00:03:20.030 --> 00:03:21.260 align:middle line:90% Black hole? 00:03:21.260 --> 00:03:25.340 align:middle line:84% To see, throw the collapsing star face first into anything. 00:03:25.340 --> 00:03:27.320 align:middle line:90% Face first into the back seat. 00:03:27.320 --> 00:03:29.150 align:middle line:84% Face first into the pepper spray. 00:03:29.150 --> 00:03:32.000 align:middle line:84% Face first onto the precinct lawn. 00:03:32.000 --> 00:03:34.550 align:middle line:84% Did you know you could throw a star? 00:03:34.550 --> 00:03:38.060 align:middle line:84% Do you understand gravity, its weaknesses? 00:03:38.060 --> 00:03:39.560 align:middle line:90% You are in my house. 00:03:39.560 --> 00:03:42.340 align:middle line:90% You should already know my name. 00:03:42.340 --> 00:03:45.000 align:middle line:90%