WEBVTT

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"I could've sworn there was
something I needed to tell you.

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But now I only feel my
face and neck burning

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in the corrugated tumult
of bright sunlit afternoon,

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I'm wearing a t-shirt and
jeans, not a suit and tie.

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And nobody seems to care.

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It's green, late April.

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All of them sleeping through
my lecture on spring.

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And it's also when I
realized that the motorcycle

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cop up fast behind me on
my way to work this morning

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was a bad omen.

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After that, even James
Schuyler couldn't save the day.

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His poems, I said,
are beautiful and shy,

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full as my eyes are
full of dogwood blossoms

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and fog radio voices,
not catalytic converters

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and omelets for breakfast when
simple scrambled eggs will do.

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In a dream, I loved a girl, but
she exploded, said my friend

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Scott Dennis, over and over.

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It was all very innocent.

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But how distraught it made me.

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I have a feeling--

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and this is me again
speaking in the present--

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that I am failing vividly
or I'm not enough revelated

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or I'm just not.

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The gloom inside me
hits the sidewalk

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as the shit hits the
firmament and sits there.

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I'm no ostrich.

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I can take a punch.

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Mine is only one vision
of paradise tossed,

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a kind of asthmatic misery, a
kind of aesthetic grimace-ry.

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Welcome, forbearance,
to the tree house

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of my disappearance, my
delight in substance,

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my bearer of walls.

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When my wallet falls
out of my pocket,

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I have, I realize suddenly,
a million and a half things

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to lose but not one
of them is money.

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Not one of them matters
in the eyes of the world.

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I mean, that is,
if the world even

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has eyes, which it doesn't,
or if the world has

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a clue, which it never will.

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And by the world, there,
I almost mean God.

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Dear sir, I have a question.

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Do I sadden myself?

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Or is it you in charge?

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Among the bad
dreams of exploding

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true loves and bad omens
of lawmen and amid reports

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of another teenager
missing in Florida,

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another car bomb in Baghdad.

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These words, a
fragile construction,

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may in fact collapse on
my head at any minute.

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For Christ's sake,
somebody give us a break.

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It's spring."

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