WEBVTT

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So Dean and I
challenged each other

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to read our weirdest
poems tonight.

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Here's mine.

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It's a sestina.

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It's called "My
Darling, My Orangutan."

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"What I enjoy so much and
will miss most when I die

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is the orange.

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Its citrusy smell and
the way the golden juice

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sprays when you peel away the
Victorian exterior revealing

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the warmth of a brain inside.

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Lovely fruit of
light, the pollen air

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called it in windows.

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A poem of deep and
marvelous beauty,

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but also of disjunction
and T-E-A-R-S as in those

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of a clown, but also
those of ripping paper.

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The tears of anything
leaking both out of itself

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and into the startling
image of an orangutan,

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an unpredictable
creature of serious power

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and seemingly deep sadness.

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Perhaps due to its
being so far removed

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from sprays of oceans
and scenes of the Earth.

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My poor dear orangutan,
what lighthouse

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will guide you to your piece at
the maze like hotel exterior.

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An idyllic vacation spot for
you and your playful exterior

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relax in an atmosphere of plush
public sculpture and truly

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terrifying goodbyes.

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Everyone dies
eventually, so why not

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make it as light hearted
and sexy as possible,

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reads the brochure.

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Decorated gaily in
orange and gold freckles,

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frolic in sprays, the
brochure continues,

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of our state of
the art sprinklers.

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Two shows nightly and
cocktails are free.

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How deep is your love,
my orangutan darling?

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I have a secret so
horrible and deep

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I don't think you'll
ever forgive me.

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I'm not what I appear to be.

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This latex exterior is
merely a costume, a mask,

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and at dinner when the saliva
sprays ridiculously out

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of my mouth it isn't passion
talking but a clogged tear duct

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opening at the
back of my throat.

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My Darling, my orange blossom, I
am full to the top of darkness.

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Even X-rays can't shed light
on the wretchedness inside me,

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not even the sunlight of
Apollo can penetrate this tale.

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I am first, and I can't
tell you how deeply sorry

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I am, which is why you
must go away from me

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and bask among the
orange scented people

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of the heavenly, glamorous,
and lovely lake exterior.

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There you and a friend will
be provided for in style

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while you tear up the dance
floor to the syrup of Abba.

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It's true, the perfume sprays
have damaged my nostrils,

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and now only
prescription nasal spray

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and industrial-strength
air brushes

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keep me breathing and high
in the half light glowing.

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If I could manage my fears
I would tear myself in half.

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I would end this meditation
on the deep dark vast,

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and allow you the opportunity
to cut through this exterior

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muddle, this noise
in the treetops,

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leathery as an orange.

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But alas, I am nothing without
the orange of you spraying,

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and though I love
your gruff exterior

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and overwhelming like
nothing can save me

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from the depths of this life.

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Oh, lovely, the
loveless tearing."

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