I'm going to read another request from Rodney
which he didn't read for you.
But this is a crazy request.
I don't even know why you requested this one.
This one usually clears the house.
Yeah.
By the time this one ends, you'll wonder why you came.
[LAUGHTER]
Thank Rodney for this.
It's called "Same Again".
And I base this on--
every culture has a Genesis myth.
And this is based on a Native American Genesis myth, the Kato
Indians.
And it's in a book called Poems from Millennium I think
or maybe Technicians of the Sacred
put together by Jerome Rothenberg.
Great books, you should get those.
And basically in that Genesis myth
they say that the Native Americans would say,
I say river, I say mountain, I say cloud,
then beaver then deer, then bunny.
They name the world-- they would call the world into existence.
And by naming it it would appear.
So this is my Genesis myth.
It's called "Same Again".
The usual I say, blood of Christ.
I say, essence, spirit, medicine.
A hint, a taste, a bump, a snort.
I say top shelf, straight up, two fingers.
A shot, a sip, a nip.
I say another round.
I say brace yourself, lift a few, hoist a few.
Work the elbow.
Bottoms up, belly up.
Leg up.
Set them up.
Freshen up.
What'll it be.
Name your poison, mud in your eye.
A jar, a jug, a pony, a glass, I say.
I say same again.
I say all around.
I say my good man.
I say my drinking buddy.
I say get that in you.
Then an ice breaker, then a quick one.
Then a couple pops, then a nightcap.
Then throw one back.
Then knock one down.
Working on a Scotch Soda I say.
Fast and furious I say.
Could savage a drink I say.
Guzzle I say.
Chug, chug a lug, gulp, sauce.
Mother's milk, home brew, everclear, moonshine,
white lightning, firewater, antifreeze.
Wall banger, zombie, rotgut, hooch.
Relief.
Now you're talking, I say.
Live a little, I say.
Drain it, I say.
Kill it, I say, feeling it, I say.
Slightly crocked, wobbly.
Another dead sailor, I say.
Breakfast of champions, I say.
I say candy is dandy but liquor is quicker.
I say the beer that made Milwaukee famous.
I say Houston, we have a drinking problem.
[LAUGHTER]
I say the cause of and solution to all of life's problems.
I say ain't no devil only God when he's drunk.
I say God only knows what I'd be without you.
I say thirsty.
I say parched.
I say wet my whistle.
I say awful thirst, dying of thirst.
Lap it up.
Hook me up.
Beam me up.
Watering hole.
Hole.
Knock a few back.
Pound a few down.
Corner stool, my office.
Out with the boys I say.
Unwind I say.
Nurse one I say.
Apply myself I say.
Tie one on I say.
Make a night of it I say.
Dive, toasted, glow.
A tall one, a cold one, a frosty, I say.
One for the road I say.
A drinker I say.
Two fisted I say.
Never trust a man who doesn't drink I say.
Drink any man under the table I say.
A good man's failing I say.
Then a binge, then a spree, then a jag, then a bout.
Coming home on all fours, roasted, roustabout.
Could use a drink I say.
A shot of confidence I say.
Steady my nerves I say.
Drown my sorrows.
I say kill for a drink.
I say keep them coming.
I say a stiff one.
I say fast as possible.
I say the long haul.
Drink deep, drink hard, hit the bottle.
Two sheets to the wind then.
Half cocked then.
Knackered then.
Showing it then.
Holding up the wall then.
Under the influence then.
Half in the bag then.
A toot, a tear, a blowout.
Out of my skull I say, liquored up.
Rip roaring, slammed, fucking jacked.
The booze talking, the room spinning,
primed, feeling no pain.
Buzzed, giddy, silly, glazed.
Impaired, intoxicated, lubricated, stewed, tight,
tidily, juiced, plots to potted.
Pixelated, pie eyed, cockeyed, inebriated, laminated.
Stoned, high, swimming, elated, exalted, debauched,
rock on, drunk on, shine on, bring it on, piste.
Then bleary, then bloodshot.
Glassy eyed, mud-eyed, red-nosed, thick tongued,
addled.
Dizzy then.
Groggy.
On a bender I say.
On a spree, on a drunk.
I say off the wagon.
I say gone out.
I say on a slip.
I say in my cups.
I say riding the night train.
I say the drink.
I say the bottle.
I say the blood bank.
I say drinky poo.
I say a drink drink.
A drink, a drunk, a drunkard.
Swill swig faced.
Shitfaced.
Fucked up.
Stupefied.
Incapacitated.
Raging.
Seeing double.
Shitty.
Take the edge off I say.
That's better I say.
Loaded I say.
Wasted.
Loot.
Lit.
Off my ass.
Befuddled, reeling, tanked.
Punch drunk.
Mean drunk, maintenance drunk, sloppy drunk, happy drunk,
weepy drunk, blind drunk, dead drunk.
Serious drinker.
Hard drinker.
Lush.
Drink like a fish.
Boozer.
Booze hound.
Absorb, rummy, alkie, sponge.
Sip, sat, sop.
Then muddled.
Then maudlin, then woozy, then clouded.
What day is it?
Do you know me?
Have you seen me?
When did I start?
Did I ever stop?
Slurring, reeling, staggering.
Over served they say.
Drunk as a skunk they say.
Falling down drunk.
Crawling down drunk.
Drunk and disorderly.
I say high tolerance.
I say high capacity.
I say social lubricant.
They say protective custody.
[LAUGHTER]
Sozzled, soused, sloshed.
Polluted, blitzed, shattered, zonked.
Ossified, annihilated, fossilized.
Stinko, blotto, legless, smashed, soaked, screwed,
pickled bombs, stiff fried.
Oiled, boiled, frazzled, blasted, plastered, hammered,
tore up, ripped up, ripped, destroyed.
Whittled, plowed, overcome, overtaken, comatose.
Dead to the world, beyond the beyond.
The old KO.
The horrors I say.
The heebie jeebies I say.
The beast I say.
The drink dt's, bejeezus, and pink elephants.
A hummer, a run, a mind bender.
Hitting it kind of hard they say.
Go easy they say.
Last call they say.
Quitting time they say.
They say shut off.
They say ruckus.
They say dry out.
Pass out, lights out, blackout.
Headlong, the bottom.
The walking wounded.
Saturday night paralysis.
Cross-eyed and painless.
Petroleum dark.
Gone to the world.
Gone.
Gonzo.
Wrecked out.
Sleep it off.
Wake up on the floor.
End up in the gutter.
Off the stuff.
Dry.
Dry heaves.
Gag.
White knuckle.
Lightweight I say.
Hair of the dog I say.
Eyeopener I say.
A drop I say.
A slug, a taste, a swallow, a pull.
Sadder Budweiser I say.
Down the hatch I say.
I wouldn't say no I say.
I say whatever he's having.
I say next one's on me.
I say match you.
I say bottoms up, put it on my tab.
I say one more.
I say same again.
You see what I mean?
That's a long piece.
Encore.
What's that?
Encore.
Encore, yeah.
In the middle of it you really start
to feel like you're going to fall over.
Whether you've already fallen over and you know.
How long did it take you to write all of that?
Did you sit down and write it?
One night.
[LAUGHTER]
No, that was actually-- that's a nice question
because it's actually--
I've been reading that piece you know before the book came out.
The book took me about seven years to write.
And over the course-- that was an early piece in the book.
And over the course of I'd read it
and people would come up to me and like give me
little slips of paper you know like oh
you missed one you know.
And so it's really a collaborative effort.
It's like it's really from-- there's
a lot of those things like Houston,
we have a drinking problem is from a band named
you don't know it?
Bad Astronaut, yeah.
Is that the same guy about Penelope?
[LAUGHTER]
Who said that?
This guy.
This guy, OK.
Yeah Bad Astronaut, yeah.
Yeah.
So I stole things freely.
The Simpsons are-- Homer Simpson is the cause of and solution
to all of life's problems.
The Beach Boys.
I mean you know I stole I borrowed.
It's a collaborative.
It's a whole you know--
[INAUDIBLE] of bringing the world to you and [INAUDIBLE]..
Things go all to hell.
Yeah.
So if you live in that world, then you'd collapse out of if
and go into the past tense.
You get lost in it.
Yeah.
You get very lost in it, yeah.
I tried to make it.
In writing it, I tried to think of sort of a one really
bad long night you know and tried
to sort of reenact and just-- and not to-- and also I tried
to condense like a lot of memoirs,
entire memoirs have been written about someone's
drunk experience.
And I thought, well, why not just do it in like three pages,
you know.
And just like because it's all like
as far as I know sort of an alcoholic experience
is kind of dull and it's like it's just the same thing
over and over again.
So I thought just to condense it into just the language itself
to me.
That's what I was trying to do.
I don't know if that answers your question at all
because yours seems even more complicated than what I just
said.
[LAUGHTER]
That I'm going into things and coming out of them.
And I had to look at the tenses.
I don't know what the tenses are at this point,
but I'll look at them, though.
I like that idea.
[LAUGHTER]