WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:04.330 align:middle line:90% 00:00:04.330 --> 00:00:09.680 align:middle line:84% It's my great pleasure to be here tonight welcoming you all. 00:00:09.680 --> 00:00:17.260 align:middle line:84% This is my first event to be part of in this wonderful room. 00:00:17.260 --> 00:00:21.505 align:middle line:84% I'm just awed every time I come near this building. 00:00:21.505 --> 00:00:22.630 align:middle line:90% My name is Aurelie Sheehan. 00:00:22.630 --> 00:00:24.380 align:middle line:84% I'm the Director of Creative Writing here. 00:00:24.380 --> 00:00:27.820 align:middle line:84% And I teach a fiction craft seminar up 00:00:27.820 --> 00:00:29.590 align:middle line:90% in that room over there. 00:00:29.590 --> 00:00:34.700 align:middle line:84% And I was just telling somebody that either my-- 00:00:34.700 --> 00:00:38.590 align:middle line:84% I mean, I could actually just speak of such things 00:00:38.590 --> 00:00:45.400 align:middle line:84% as manicures, and it would still be quite the lofty experience. 00:00:45.400 --> 00:00:49.900 align:middle line:84% But I'm keeping the books, and the conversation 00:00:49.900 --> 00:00:54.580 align:middle line:84% is elevating, I believe, just from people's inspiration, 00:00:54.580 --> 00:00:58.150 align:middle line:84% the inspiration of the beauty of the place, and then 00:00:58.150 --> 00:01:03.970 align:middle line:84% the inspiration now as the bookshelves are filling up. 00:01:03.970 --> 00:01:08.000 align:middle line:84% It's just really exciting to be here. 00:01:08.000 --> 00:01:10.630 align:middle line:84% And I guess there's some of you that I know, 00:01:10.630 --> 00:01:13.285 align:middle line:84% but I'm glad that we have these quirky little name 00:01:13.285 --> 00:01:16.090 align:middle line:84% tags tonight, because I don't know everybody. 00:01:16.090 --> 00:01:19.630 align:middle line:84% I'd love to meet some more alums. 00:01:19.630 --> 00:01:25.150 align:middle line:84% I'd love to have more alum, student, faculty, staff, 00:01:25.150 --> 00:01:30.950 align:middle line:84% UA sort of interaction in these next few years. 00:01:30.950 --> 00:01:32.560 align:middle line:84% And I hope that the Poetry Center can 00:01:32.560 --> 00:01:35.660 align:middle line:90% be a place for that to happen. 00:01:35.660 --> 00:01:39.550 align:middle line:84% So thank you all for coming, and I'll 00:01:39.550 --> 00:01:41.740 align:middle line:90% turn you over to Gail Browne. 00:01:41.740 --> 00:01:48.400 align:middle line:90% 00:01:48.400 --> 00:01:52.250 align:middle line:84% Well this is our first event in the Dorothy Rubel Humanities 00:01:52.250 --> 00:01:53.110 align:middle line:90% Seminars Room. 00:01:53.110 --> 00:01:54.622 align:middle line:90% That's a mouthful. 00:01:54.622 --> 00:01:56.590 align:middle line:90% [APPLAUSE] 00:01:56.590 --> 00:02:01.520 align:middle line:90% 00:02:01.520 --> 00:02:04.640 align:middle line:84% And I'm really delighted that this first event in this room 00:02:04.640 --> 00:02:07.940 align:middle line:84% is for and by the creative writing 00:02:07.940 --> 00:02:10.160 align:middle line:84% alumni of the University of Arizona. 00:02:10.160 --> 00:02:12.080 align:middle line:84% It just seems particularly fitting 00:02:12.080 --> 00:02:14.330 align:middle line:84% that we should do this here tonight. 00:02:14.330 --> 00:02:16.520 align:middle line:84% I'm going to introduce Peggy Shumaker, who is going 00:02:16.520 --> 00:02:18.530 align:middle line:90% to emcee the reading tonight. 00:02:18.530 --> 00:02:20.780 align:middle line:84% But before I do that, I just wanted 00:02:20.780 --> 00:02:25.460 align:middle line:84% to extend my deep gratitude to Peggy and her husband Joseph 00:02:25.460 --> 00:02:26.450 align:middle line:90% Usibelli. 00:02:26.450 --> 00:02:28.820 align:middle line:84% Their generous gift has enabled us 00:02:28.820 --> 00:02:30.830 align:middle line:84% to name that room that Aurelie just 00:02:30.830 --> 00:02:33.530 align:middle line:84% talked about for the creative writing alumni. 00:02:33.530 --> 00:02:36.800 align:middle line:84% And I really want to thank you both for stepping 00:02:36.800 --> 00:02:39.198 align:middle line:90% forward and making that happen. 00:02:39.198 --> 00:02:41.146 align:middle line:90% [APPLAUSE] 00:02:41.146 --> 00:02:44.070 align:middle line:90% 00:02:44.070 --> 00:02:45.720 align:middle line:84% Many of you know that we have also 00:02:45.720 --> 00:02:48.630 align:middle line:84% invited the alumni to participate in that naming 00:02:48.630 --> 00:02:49.630 align:middle line:90% opportunity. 00:02:49.630 --> 00:02:52.860 align:middle line:84% And if you would like to join us in that campaign 00:02:52.860 --> 00:02:55.770 align:middle line:84% to name the room, there's a lovely card, a nice note 00:02:55.770 --> 00:02:57.880 align:middle line:84% from Richard Russo on the back of it, 00:02:57.880 --> 00:02:59.098 align:middle line:90% inviting you to participate. 00:02:59.098 --> 00:03:01.140 align:middle line:84% And they're out there on the Poetry Center table, 00:03:01.140 --> 00:03:03.210 align:middle line:84% so pick one up if you're interested. 00:03:03.210 --> 00:03:06.660 align:middle line:84% Our hope is to be able to create a broad sign with everyone's 00:03:06.660 --> 00:03:08.700 align:middle line:84% name who's contributed and have it 00:03:08.700 --> 00:03:11.190 align:middle line:84% right there in the room, inside the room. 00:03:11.190 --> 00:03:13.020 align:middle line:84% So the more of you who would like 00:03:13.020 --> 00:03:15.090 align:middle line:84% to be on that, the better for all of us. 00:03:15.090 --> 00:03:17.790 align:middle line:90% 00:03:17.790 --> 00:03:21.180 align:middle line:84% Now Peggy Shumaker is a Professor Emerita 00:03:21.180 --> 00:03:25.260 align:middle line:84% of English at the University of Alaska, Fairbanks 00:03:25.260 --> 00:03:27.190 align:middle line:84% and the author of several books of poetry. 00:03:27.190 --> 00:03:29.580 align:middle line:84% Many of you may have been to the reading she gave here, 00:03:29.580 --> 00:03:31.140 align:middle line:90% we think, now two years ago. 00:03:31.140 --> 00:03:33.030 align:middle line:90% Both of our memories are fading. 00:03:33.030 --> 00:03:34.890 align:middle line:90% It's been a busy time. 00:03:34.890 --> 00:03:38.370 align:middle line:84% She is the author of a beautiful book, Blaze, and Underground 00:03:38.370 --> 00:03:41.670 align:middle line:84% Rivers, and she teaches at the Rainier Writing Workshop 00:03:41.670 --> 00:03:43.740 align:middle line:90% at Pacific Lutheran University. 00:03:43.740 --> 00:03:45.557 align:middle line:84% Her most recent work-- a beautiful book, 00:03:45.557 --> 00:03:46.890 align:middle line:90% I hope you will all pick it up-- 00:03:46.890 --> 00:03:49.440 align:middle line:84% Just Breathe Normally, A Memoir, was 00:03:49.440 --> 00:03:51.900 align:middle line:84% chosen by Tobias Wolff for inclusion 00:03:51.900 --> 00:03:56.440 align:middle line:84% in the University of Nebraska Press American Lives series. 00:03:56.440 --> 00:03:58.860 align:middle line:84% In addition to these accolades, Peggy 00:03:58.860 --> 00:04:01.920 align:middle line:84% is a 1979 graduate of the University of Arizona 00:04:01.920 --> 00:04:03.360 align:middle line:90% creative writing program. 00:04:03.360 --> 00:04:04.390 align:middle line:90% Peggy. 00:04:04.390 --> 00:04:06.350 align:middle line:90% [APPLAUSE] 00:04:06.350 --> 00:04:15.180 align:middle line:90% 00:04:15.180 --> 00:04:15.888 align:middle line:90% Thank you, Gail. 00:04:15.888 --> 00:04:17.430 align:middle line:84% I'd just like to take a moment to ask 00:04:17.430 --> 00:04:20.054 align:middle line:84% everyone who's on the staff of the Poetry Center to stand. 00:04:20.054 --> 00:04:22.794 align:middle line:90% 00:04:22.794 --> 00:04:24.758 align:middle line:90% [APPLAUSE] 00:04:24.758 --> 00:04:32.130 align:middle line:90% 00:04:32.130 --> 00:04:33.690 align:middle line:84% Thank you so much for all that you do 00:04:33.690 --> 00:04:38.100 align:middle line:84% and for making this place so incredible. 00:04:38.100 --> 00:04:40.440 align:middle line:84% Let's see, Gail Browne has put together 00:04:40.440 --> 00:04:43.830 align:middle line:84% a staff that will welcome members of the community 00:04:43.830 --> 00:04:46.110 align:middle line:84% and has already welcomed teachers, 00:04:46.110 --> 00:04:49.140 align:middle line:84% and students, and people who read, and people who write. 00:04:49.140 --> 00:04:51.900 align:middle line:84% It's quite an amazing place, this one. 00:04:51.900 --> 00:04:54.900 align:middle line:84% I'm here to introduce the readers tonight. 00:04:54.900 --> 00:04:56.670 align:middle line:84% Spring Ulmer is our first reader, 00:04:56.670 --> 00:04:59.880 align:middle line:84% and she graduated in 2002 with a degree, 00:04:59.880 --> 00:05:01.770 align:middle line:84% a Masters of Fine Arts degree in Poetry, 00:05:01.770 --> 00:05:03.430 align:middle line:90% from University of Arizona. 00:05:03.430 --> 00:05:05.790 align:middle line:84% But first she studied as a visual artist. 00:05:05.790 --> 00:05:08.490 align:middle line:84% She went to school at the Cooper Union School of Art. 00:05:08.490 --> 00:05:11.670 align:middle line:84% And she talked today in the Honors colloquium about how 00:05:11.670 --> 00:05:13.350 align:middle line:90% visual art informs her work. 00:05:13.350 --> 00:05:18.370 align:middle line:84% And sometimes it's paintings, and sometimes it's photography. 00:05:18.370 --> 00:05:20.580 align:middle line:84% She worked as a photojournalist in Kentucky. 00:05:20.580 --> 00:05:23.730 align:middle line:84% She has just recently come back from Rwanda, 00:05:23.730 --> 00:05:27.720 align:middle line:84% where she's helping to build an orphanage for children who 00:05:27.720 --> 00:05:30.270 align:middle line:84% were left without parents because of the genocide 00:05:30.270 --> 00:05:32.680 align:middle line:90% in that country. 00:05:32.680 --> 00:05:34.350 align:middle line:90% She is quite an amazing writer. 00:05:34.350 --> 00:05:38.790 align:middle line:84% The work deals with topics that are very deeply personal, 00:05:38.790 --> 00:05:42.330 align:middle line:84% as well as those that are overtly political, sometimes 00:05:42.330 --> 00:05:44.370 align:middle line:90% within the same stanza. 00:05:44.370 --> 00:05:45.750 align:middle line:90% It's quite an amazing thing. 00:05:45.750 --> 00:05:47.880 align:middle line:84% Her first book, Benjamin's Spectacles, 00:05:47.880 --> 00:05:51.270 align:middle line:84% was chosen by that great woman warrior, Sonia Sanchez, 00:05:51.270 --> 00:05:55.620 align:middle line:84% for the Kore Press First Book Award in 2007. 00:05:55.620 --> 00:05:56.910 align:middle line:90% Please welcome Spring Ulmer. 00:05:56.910 --> 00:05:59.345 align:middle line:90% [APPLAUSE] 00:05:59.345 --> 00:06:07.140 align:middle line:90% 00:06:07.140 --> 00:06:08.570 align:middle line:90% Thank you, Peggy. 00:06:08.570 --> 00:06:12.210 align:middle line:84% Thanks Gail, and Frances, and everyone at the Poetry Center. 00:06:12.210 --> 00:06:15.000 align:middle line:84% This is fantastic for me --with three kids. 00:06:15.000 --> 00:06:19.080 align:middle line:84% And I want to thank Alison, Boyer, and Jane, 00:06:19.080 --> 00:06:22.780 align:middle line:84% and everyone who supported me throughout my time here. 00:06:22.780 --> 00:06:28.980 align:middle line:84% It's really pretty amazing to be back here in this capacity. 00:06:28.980 --> 00:06:33.750 align:middle line:84% All right, the book Benjamin's Spectacles 00:06:33.750 --> 00:06:37.230 align:middle line:84% was never meant to be a book, but it just became that way. 00:06:37.230 --> 00:06:39.120 align:middle line:90% Benjamin kind of leapt into it. 00:06:39.120 --> 00:06:42.120 align:middle line:84% And it was first a book of puzzles 00:06:42.120 --> 00:06:45.300 align:middle line:84% about the war that really weren't working and had 00:06:45.300 --> 00:06:47.400 align:middle line:84% nothing to do with what I was doing here 00:06:47.400 --> 00:06:48.790 align:middle line:90% when I was a student. 00:06:48.790 --> 00:06:51.270 align:middle line:84% So I think that's really common, that people 00:06:51.270 --> 00:06:54.750 align:middle line:84% abandon their work on some level and then turn 00:06:54.750 --> 00:06:57.160 align:middle line:90% to something else. 00:06:57.160 --> 00:07:01.680 align:middle line:84% And finally I just messed it all up until Walter Benjamin came. 00:07:01.680 --> 00:07:05.820 align:middle line:84% And he's this figure of a German Jew, philosopher, 00:07:05.820 --> 00:07:07.350 align:middle line:90% and poet who-- 00:07:07.350 --> 00:07:09.010 align:middle line:84% for those of you who don't know-- 00:07:09.010 --> 00:07:10.590 align:middle line:90% committed suicide. 00:07:10.590 --> 00:07:12.780 align:middle line:84% Or it's also thought that he might have 00:07:12.780 --> 00:07:13.920 align:middle line:90% been murdered by the Nazis. 00:07:13.920 --> 00:07:18.450 align:middle line:84% He was escaping occupied France, trying to get into Spain. 00:07:18.450 --> 00:07:20.670 align:middle line:84% And the one thing that he really cared about 00:07:20.670 --> 00:07:24.600 align:middle line:90% was having his manuscript saved. 00:07:24.600 --> 00:07:27.520 align:middle line:84% He really didn't care about his body, or himself, or anything 00:07:27.520 --> 00:07:28.020 align:middle line:90% like that. 00:07:28.020 --> 00:07:33.150 align:middle line:84% So he committed suicide, and the manuscript has never appeared. 00:07:33.150 --> 00:07:34.110 align:middle line:90% Oh, there's Danny. 00:07:34.110 --> 00:07:36.390 align:middle line:90% That's really cool. 00:07:36.390 --> 00:07:42.000 align:middle line:84% So that's the premise, that was the premise, of me starting 00:07:42.000 --> 00:07:44.490 align:middle line:90% to think about Benjamin. 00:07:44.490 --> 00:07:47.040 align:middle line:84% And he became progressively more and more interesting to me. 00:07:47.040 --> 00:07:50.520 align:middle line:84% My family heritage is German, and I'm 00:07:50.520 --> 00:07:53.790 align:middle line:84% thinking about my own complicity with the war. 00:07:53.790 --> 00:07:55.900 align:middle line:84% So that's kind of how it played out. 00:07:55.900 --> 00:07:57.120 align:middle line:90% I want to read-- 00:07:57.120 --> 00:07:59.430 align:middle line:84% there's a number of themes that go throughout the book, 00:07:59.430 --> 00:08:01.810 align:middle line:90% and one of them is hunger. 00:08:01.810 --> 00:08:05.100 align:middle line:84% And I want-- I met someone today who's really-- 00:08:05.100 --> 00:08:09.220 align:middle line:84% [INAUDIBLE] Sorry, I keep seeing people. 00:08:09.220 --> 00:08:12.900 align:middle line:84% There's somebody I met today who made me rethink what I wanted 00:08:12.900 --> 00:08:15.450 align:middle line:84% to read tonight, and I want to dedicate it 00:08:15.450 --> 00:08:16.500 align:middle line:90% to her and her sister. 00:08:16.500 --> 00:08:21.680 align:middle line:90% And I think that's all we can-- 00:08:21.680 --> 00:08:24.560 align:middle line:84% "The Distance Between Self and Other." 00:08:24.560 --> 00:08:27.200 align:middle line:84% "Benjamin, like Brecht, believed the reader 00:08:27.200 --> 00:08:29.210 align:middle line:90% should become author. 00:08:29.210 --> 00:08:31.850 align:middle line:84% And so he ceased cultivating his notebooks 00:08:31.850 --> 00:08:34.520 align:middle line:90% and disappeared into his texts. 00:08:34.520 --> 00:08:37.909 align:middle line:84% Meanwhile, Adorno argued authors must mediate their texts, 00:08:37.909 --> 00:08:40.640 align:middle line:84% and so he continued to translate what Benjamin thought 00:08:40.640 --> 00:08:43.669 align:middle line:90% inherently untranslatable. 00:08:43.669 --> 00:08:46.910 align:middle line:84% I inherited my mother's want to perfect the Earth. 00:08:46.910 --> 00:08:50.240 align:middle line:84% After a time I became completely infected by Earth, 00:08:50.240 --> 00:08:53.030 align:middle line:84% controlled, meek, part of my mother's garden, 00:08:53.030 --> 00:08:54.440 align:middle line:90% something to eat. 00:08:54.440 --> 00:08:56.720 align:middle line:84% She was sustained by rooting, planting, 00:08:56.720 --> 00:08:58.910 align:middle line:90% and protecting earthworms. 00:08:58.910 --> 00:09:03.650 align:middle line:84% I ate nothing but leaves, stems, spring greens." 00:09:03.650 --> 00:09:07.340 align:middle line:90% And this poem is a bi-poem. 00:09:07.340 --> 00:09:09.410 align:middle line:84% It has-- I don't really know how to read it. 00:09:09.410 --> 00:09:11.240 align:middle line:90% And I've had different-- 00:09:11.240 --> 00:09:14.700 align:middle line:84% "Antigone," I had my friend Arianne come up and read it. 00:09:14.700 --> 00:09:17.000 align:middle line:84% So I'm going to try to read it together, 00:09:17.000 --> 00:09:18.650 align:middle line:90% and then we'll keep going. 00:09:18.650 --> 00:09:20.740 align:middle line:84% I won't read another two-poem like that. 00:09:20.740 --> 00:09:21.590 align:middle line:90% I have a couple. 00:09:21.590 --> 00:09:24.020 align:middle line:84% "The Distance Between Self and Other." 00:09:24.020 --> 00:09:26.540 align:middle line:84% "Benjamin, like Brecht, believed the reader 00:09:26.540 --> 00:09:28.310 align:middle line:90% should become author. 00:09:28.310 --> 00:09:29.960 align:middle line:90% I inherited my mother's want. 00:09:29.960 --> 00:09:31.790 align:middle line:90% And so he ceased cultivating. 00:09:31.790 --> 00:09:33.410 align:middle line:90% To perfect the Earth. 00:09:33.410 --> 00:09:36.740 align:middle line:84% His notebooks and disappeared into his texts. 00:09:36.740 --> 00:09:39.800 align:middle line:84% After a time I became completely infected by Earth. 00:09:39.800 --> 00:09:42.860 align:middle line:84% Meanwhile Adorno argued authors must mediate. 00:09:42.860 --> 00:09:45.350 align:middle line:84% Controlled, meek, part of my mother's garden. 00:09:45.350 --> 00:09:46.340 align:middle line:90% Their texts. 00:09:46.340 --> 00:09:47.820 align:middle line:90% Something to eat. 00:09:47.820 --> 00:09:49.160 align:middle line:90% And so he continued to. 00:09:49.160 --> 00:09:52.520 align:middle line:84% She was sustained by rooting, planting, and protecting. 00:09:52.520 --> 00:09:54.260 align:middle line:90% Translate what Benjamin. 00:09:54.260 --> 00:09:54.890 align:middle line:90% Earthworms. 00:09:54.890 --> 00:09:55.730 align:middle line:90% I ate nothing. 00:09:55.730 --> 00:09:57.650 align:middle line:84% Thought inherently untranslatable. 00:09:57.650 --> 00:09:59.750 align:middle line:84% But leaves, stems, spring greens." 00:09:59.750 --> 00:10:03.200 align:middle line:90% 00:10:03.200 --> 00:10:05.450 align:middle line:90% "Geography List." 00:10:05.450 --> 00:10:09.230 align:middle line:84% "Behind razor wire, refugees sewed their mouths shut. 00:10:09.230 --> 00:10:11.210 align:middle line:90% The TVs on mute. 00:10:11.210 --> 00:10:13.490 align:middle line:84% An old woman is saving cantaloupe seeds, 00:10:13.490 --> 00:10:17.252 align:middle line:84% though yesterday she told me she wouldn't grow another garden. 00:10:17.252 --> 00:10:18.710 align:middle line:84% 'Do you keep them wet or dry them?' 00:10:18.710 --> 00:10:19.670 align:middle line:90% I asked. 00:10:19.670 --> 00:10:20.720 align:middle line:90% Dry them. 00:10:20.720 --> 00:10:22.190 align:middle line:90% Seeded nothingness. 00:10:22.190 --> 00:10:24.800 align:middle line:84% The old woman doesn't believe I'm a girl. 00:10:24.800 --> 00:10:28.430 align:middle line:84% I don't carry a purse, wear a bra, bleed. 00:10:28.430 --> 00:10:30.810 align:middle line:90% I tell her I'm Walter Benjamin. 00:10:30.810 --> 00:10:33.170 align:middle line:90% 'Who's that?' she asks. 00:10:33.170 --> 00:10:36.560 align:middle line:84% Do I say he believed if art could start its aura, 00:10:36.560 --> 00:10:38.960 align:middle line:84% balloon its skeleton for the world to view, 00:10:38.960 --> 00:10:42.410 align:middle line:84% there might be hope against the fury of today? 00:10:42.410 --> 00:10:44.660 align:middle line:84% 'One of those refugees,' I answer. 00:10:44.660 --> 00:10:46.280 align:middle line:90% She looks confused. 00:10:46.280 --> 00:10:55.230 align:middle line:90% 'But you're not.'" 00:10:55.230 --> 00:10:57.630 align:middle line:90% "Post Strange Fruit." 00:10:57.630 --> 00:10:58.740 align:middle line:90% "One. 00:10:58.740 --> 00:11:02.220 align:middle line:84% One evening a man with a machete chopped an armpit of grass 00:11:02.220 --> 00:11:06.060 align:middle line:84% between cracks in the sidewalk, just east of Western. 00:11:06.060 --> 00:11:08.040 align:middle line:84% I can still hear the clipping sound 00:11:08.040 --> 00:11:10.830 align:middle line:84% of that gray, mean, country louse attacking 00:11:10.830 --> 00:11:12.900 align:middle line:90% every blade of grass. 00:11:12.900 --> 00:11:14.070 align:middle line:90% Two. 00:11:14.070 --> 00:11:16.770 align:middle line:84% Those who lived through genocide survive believing 00:11:16.770 --> 00:11:18.810 align:middle line:90% they have already died. 00:11:18.810 --> 00:11:19.830 align:middle line:90% Three. 00:11:19.830 --> 00:11:22.710 align:middle line:84% Grapefruits hang plentifully on my dwarf tree. 00:11:22.710 --> 00:11:24.750 align:middle line:84% The yellow suns drop to the ground holes, 00:11:24.750 --> 00:11:28.470 align:middle line:84% drilled in their sour skin by insects, worms. 00:11:28.470 --> 00:11:29.400 align:middle line:90% Four. 00:11:29.400 --> 00:11:33.030 align:middle line:84% Glazed pot-bellied jugs sit like resigned old men in the corner 00:11:33.030 --> 00:11:34.500 align:middle line:90% of the courtyard, sweating. 00:11:34.500 --> 00:11:36.450 align:middle line:90% Pigeons waddle. 00:11:36.450 --> 00:11:37.320 align:middle line:90% Five. 00:11:37.320 --> 00:11:40.380 align:middle line:84% Near-sighted, I try to memorize what blurs. 00:11:40.380 --> 00:11:41.550 align:middle line:90% Mountains, just blobs. 00:11:41.550 --> 00:11:44.250 align:middle line:84% People, unrecognizable in a mass grave. 00:11:44.250 --> 00:11:46.948 align:middle line:84% Tortured bodies wrapped in plastic, iced 00:11:46.948 --> 00:11:47.865 align:middle line:90% so they don't bruise." 00:11:47.865 --> 00:11:55.220 align:middle line:90% 00:11:55.220 --> 00:11:57.740 align:middle line:90% "Double Exposure." 00:11:57.740 --> 00:12:00.950 align:middle line:84% "Benjamin drank from a puddle of infected forest water 00:12:00.950 --> 00:12:04.610 align:middle line:84% but made it to the border, despite his ailing heart, 00:12:04.610 --> 00:12:07.970 align:middle line:84% only to be turned back to the mountain path soldiers were 00:12:07.970 --> 00:12:09.470 align:middle line:90% already swarming. 00:12:09.470 --> 00:12:11.780 align:middle line:84% He passed the manuscript in a suitcase off, 00:12:11.780 --> 00:12:15.080 align:middle line:84% and thinking it safe, popped the round gray tablets. 00:12:15.080 --> 00:12:18.020 align:middle line:84% His suicide saved lives as border guards took pity 00:12:18.020 --> 00:12:19.340 align:middle line:90% on his party. 00:12:19.340 --> 00:12:21.680 align:middle line:90% But what he lived for was lost. 00:12:21.680 --> 00:12:24.000 align:middle line:84% It is cold now for us in these mountains. 00:12:24.000 --> 00:12:26.030 align:middle line:84% Today a suitcase exploded, killing 00:12:26.030 --> 00:12:29.930 align:middle line:84% five, including a farmer and a truck full of cabbages. 00:12:29.930 --> 00:12:33.090 align:middle line:84% Erase the traces was Brecht's advice. 00:12:33.090 --> 00:12:35.450 align:middle line:90% The cabbages vanished. 00:12:35.450 --> 00:12:36.320 align:middle line:90% Benjamin withered. 00:12:36.320 --> 00:12:37.910 align:middle line:90% The weather was mild. 00:12:37.910 --> 00:12:41.480 align:middle line:84% Peasant weather, he thought, falling asleep under an olive. 00:12:41.480 --> 00:12:45.260 align:middle line:84% He dreamed he could jar a language back to life. 00:12:45.260 --> 00:12:47.450 align:middle line:84% No longer able to make meaning, such language 00:12:47.450 --> 00:12:49.190 align:middle line:90% would ground people. 00:12:49.190 --> 00:12:51.020 align:middle line:84% He saw them from far off collecting 00:12:51.020 --> 00:12:52.880 align:middle line:90% olives, ripened seeds. 00:12:52.880 --> 00:12:55.790 align:middle line:84% Then he glimpsed his angel sweating, weak, unable 00:12:55.790 --> 00:12:56.930 align:middle line:90% to speak. 00:12:56.930 --> 00:13:00.080 align:middle line:84% Benjamin was in a city, offering up the angel's image 00:13:00.080 --> 00:13:01.250 align:middle line:90% to save himself. 00:13:01.250 --> 00:13:05.573 align:middle line:84% When he awoke, his suit dirty, crumpled, a root driving itself 00:13:05.573 --> 00:13:06.740 align:middle line:90% into the small of his back." 00:13:06.740 --> 00:13:15.730 align:middle line:90% 00:13:15.730 --> 00:13:18.130 align:middle line:90% "Letters to the Dead." 00:13:18.130 --> 00:13:19.660 align:middle line:90% "Fresh figs on the counter. 00:13:19.660 --> 00:13:21.400 align:middle line:90% Fellini's 8 and 1/2. 00:13:21.400 --> 00:13:23.410 align:middle line:90% What happens after betrayal? 00:13:23.410 --> 00:13:25.390 align:middle line:84% I don't want to hold the man's hand. 00:13:25.390 --> 00:13:26.920 align:middle line:90% The hunger it spruces. 00:13:26.920 --> 00:13:28.360 align:middle line:90% That flying green. 00:13:28.360 --> 00:13:29.380 align:middle line:90% A beetle shell. 00:13:29.380 --> 00:13:32.080 align:middle line:90% A wish not to be windexed. 00:13:32.080 --> 00:13:33.580 align:middle line:90% These excommunications. 00:13:33.580 --> 00:13:35.080 align:middle line:90% Thimblefuls of relation. 00:13:35.080 --> 00:13:36.130 align:middle line:90% Inner conversation. 00:13:36.130 --> 00:13:37.810 align:middle line:90% Hopkins' letters to the dead. 00:13:37.810 --> 00:13:41.170 align:middle line:84% Heart-shaped leaves outside my kitchen window tremble. 00:13:41.170 --> 00:13:42.430 align:middle line:90% How it disturbs me. 00:13:42.430 --> 00:13:44.320 align:middle line:90% Knocking food off my fork. 00:13:44.320 --> 00:13:45.700 align:middle line:90% Like a hair shirt. 00:13:45.700 --> 00:13:46.960 align:middle line:90% A man withholding love. 00:13:46.960 --> 00:13:48.160 align:middle line:90% Is this all he can give? 00:13:48.160 --> 00:13:49.840 align:middle line:90% Am I ungrateful? 00:13:49.840 --> 00:13:50.890 align:middle line:84% Gesammelte Briefe, Passagen Werk, Berliner Chronik, 00:13:50.890 --> 00:13:51.557 align:middle line:90% Illuminationen-- 00:13:51.557 --> 00:13:55.000 align:middle line:90% 00:13:55.000 --> 00:13:56.830 align:middle line:90% The order of books on my table. 00:13:56.830 --> 00:13:58.420 align:middle line:90% Smell of old pages. 00:13:58.420 --> 00:14:01.210 align:middle line:84% The hunger-striker undoes his stitched lips. 00:14:01.210 --> 00:14:02.755 align:middle line:90% Poetry unhanging itself." 00:14:02.755 --> 00:14:10.250 align:middle line:90% 00:14:10.250 --> 00:14:15.920 align:middle line:84% This whole book is kind of a montage between me playing 00:14:15.920 --> 00:14:17.600 align:middle line:84% ten million thousand different parts 00:14:17.600 --> 00:14:20.930 align:middle line:84% and Benjamin trying to play the other parts. 00:14:20.930 --> 00:14:25.160 align:middle line:84% And then he had crazy sexual relations. 00:14:25.160 --> 00:14:27.950 align:middle line:84% And so they kind of sweep through the text, 00:14:27.950 --> 00:14:29.250 align:middle line:90% and it all gets mixed together. 00:14:29.250 --> 00:14:32.427 align:middle line:84% And it's kind of been described as very bleak. 00:14:32.427 --> 00:14:33.401 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHTER] 00:14:33.401 --> 00:14:34.310 align:middle line:90% Bear with it. 00:14:34.310 --> 00:14:35.540 align:middle line:90% I think I'm bleak. 00:14:35.540 --> 00:14:38.150 align:middle line:90% 00:14:38.150 --> 00:14:41.360 align:middle line:84% But at the same time, I think there's something-- 00:14:41.360 --> 00:14:44.030 align:middle line:84% well, hopefully there's something redemptive about it, 00:14:44.030 --> 00:14:47.570 align:middle line:84% but I wouldn't know what redemption is. 00:14:47.570 --> 00:14:50.270 align:middle line:90% "Benjamin's Spectacles." 00:14:50.270 --> 00:14:52.970 align:middle line:84% "Dead Benjamin asks me for a cup of coffee. 00:14:52.970 --> 00:14:54.020 align:middle line:90% I shake my head. 00:14:54.020 --> 00:14:56.940 align:middle line:84% He is dressed in red tights, feathers in his hat, 00:14:56.940 --> 00:15:00.150 align:middle line:84% the kind of dandy who cannot admit this desire. 00:15:00.150 --> 00:15:02.300 align:middle line:84% He'll focus on some point in conversation 00:15:02.300 --> 00:15:05.150 align:middle line:84% so as not to betray his gaze, his intonation vague, 00:15:05.150 --> 00:15:08.180 align:middle line:84% and lose sight of what called the attention he craves. 00:15:08.180 --> 00:15:10.160 align:middle line:84% He dreams of flying backwards, his back 00:15:10.160 --> 00:15:12.890 align:middle line:84% to the illuminated horizon, haloed. 00:15:12.890 --> 00:15:14.180 align:middle line:90% Our marriage was fatal. 00:15:14.180 --> 00:15:17.450 align:middle line:84% Nothing left except the dregs, Benjamin says. 00:15:17.450 --> 00:15:19.370 align:middle line:90% I am now the cup's brim. 00:15:19.370 --> 00:15:21.530 align:middle line:84% The floral pattern, the heavy dog whose eyes 00:15:21.530 --> 00:15:23.420 align:middle line:90% creak open with false lashes. 00:15:23.420 --> 00:15:26.420 align:middle line:84% Wig falling, my sticky bald head not worthy 00:15:26.420 --> 00:15:28.580 align:middle line:84% of Benjamin's spectacles, not worthy 00:15:28.580 --> 00:15:31.610 align:middle line:84% of the smoldering watercolor of his eyes. 00:15:31.610 --> 00:15:33.230 align:middle line:90% He opens the black trunk. 00:15:33.230 --> 00:15:35.720 align:middle line:84% Inside my porcelain arms and legs 00:15:35.720 --> 00:15:39.200 align:middle line:84% are splayed, my head flung back, eyes closed. 00:15:39.200 --> 00:15:41.690 align:middle line:84% Beneath me in the dark the grandfather clock's 00:15:41.690 --> 00:15:43.820 align:middle line:90% indelible gold stamen. 00:15:43.820 --> 00:15:45.000 align:middle line:90% The coffee's cold. 00:15:45.000 --> 00:15:48.515 align:middle line:84% The spectacles glint menacingly beside the cup and saucer." 00:15:48.515 --> 00:15:51.160 align:middle line:90% 00:15:51.160 --> 00:15:53.050 align:middle line:90% "Beside the Cup and Saucer." 00:15:53.050 --> 00:15:54.010 align:middle line:90% "One. 00:15:54.010 --> 00:15:58.390 align:middle line:84% One mouse made of thistle, lacquered, beheaded. 00:15:58.390 --> 00:16:01.840 align:middle line:84% Its hands still hold the make-believe cheese. 00:16:01.840 --> 00:16:02.470 align:middle line:90% Two. 00:16:02.470 --> 00:16:05.470 align:middle line:84% I eat breakfast in front of pictures of the tortured. 00:16:05.470 --> 00:16:07.570 align:middle line:84% I've taped their glare to the wall, 00:16:07.570 --> 00:16:11.050 align:middle line:84% their blurred faces void of expression. 00:16:11.050 --> 00:16:12.370 align:middle line:90% Three. 00:16:12.370 --> 00:16:15.010 align:middle line:84% Someone they believed to have war in the body, 00:16:15.010 --> 00:16:18.100 align:middle line:84% to know war intimately, was to be blessed. 00:16:18.100 --> 00:16:21.400 align:middle line:84% Like her, I warred my body, yet I remain. 00:16:21.400 --> 00:16:24.410 align:middle line:84% I look at myself with contempt, not only in the mirror, 00:16:24.410 --> 00:16:25.570 align:middle line:90% but at the parts I can see. 00:16:25.570 --> 00:16:27.220 align:middle line:90% I hate them. 00:16:27.220 --> 00:16:28.240 align:middle line:90% Four. 00:16:28.240 --> 00:16:31.630 align:middle line:84% Plant, fireplace, window shade, beige couch, 00:16:31.630 --> 00:16:35.170 align:middle line:84% children's clasped hands, a boy's large feet, 00:16:35.170 --> 00:16:40.320 align:middle line:84% a girl's hyper smile, the kernel erect, wife all dolled up, 00:16:40.320 --> 00:16:42.670 align:middle line:90% table wine, banal conversation." 00:16:42.670 --> 00:16:50.260 align:middle line:90% 00:16:50.260 --> 00:16:53.790 align:middle line:90% So here's the redemption point. 00:16:53.790 --> 00:16:55.410 align:middle line:90% "Revolutionary Evidence." 00:16:55.410 --> 00:16:57.920 align:middle line:90% There's a line in this poem. 00:16:57.920 --> 00:17:00.000 align:middle line:90% I come from a family that-- 00:17:00.000 --> 00:17:02.310 align:middle line:84% my parents were both civil rights activists, 00:17:02.310 --> 00:17:04.650 align:middle line:84% and I think I always had to one-up them, 00:17:04.650 --> 00:17:08.292 align:middle line:84% so I became a Black Panther at a certain point of my life. 00:17:08.292 --> 00:17:09.900 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHTER] 00:17:09.900 --> 00:17:12.660 align:middle line:90% And obviously it's not working, 00:17:12.660 --> 00:17:14.530 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHTER] 00:17:14.530 --> 00:17:18.240 align:middle line:84% But it's rubbed off on some level for sure. 00:17:18.240 --> 00:17:20.819 align:middle line:90% OK, "Revolutionary Evidence." 00:17:20.819 --> 00:17:24.839 align:middle line:84% "Isolated, in the soul breaker, a revolutionary, 00:17:24.839 --> 00:17:27.089 align:middle line:84% before being murdered by his guards, 00:17:27.089 --> 00:17:29.280 align:middle line:84% writes a letter, asking his love, 00:17:29.280 --> 00:17:32.550 align:middle line:84% would she be willing to do it in the road. 00:17:32.550 --> 00:17:33.780 align:middle line:90% Look at these spring rats." 00:17:33.780 --> 00:17:39.230 align:middle line:90% 00:17:39.230 --> 00:17:40.636 align:middle line:90% [? Ron, ?] are you calling me? 00:17:40.636 --> 00:17:41.136 align:middle line:90% Sure. 00:17:41.136 --> 00:17:43.070 align:middle line:90% OK. 00:17:43.070 --> 00:17:46.280 align:middle line:90% We'll read it loud. 00:17:46.280 --> 00:17:49.370 align:middle line:90% "A Brisk Spring Wind." 00:17:49.370 --> 00:17:51.650 align:middle line:90% "Like the parents of the child. 00:17:51.650 --> 00:17:55.460 align:middle line:84% May fled to a place so barren as to be of no contest. 00:17:55.460 --> 00:17:58.490 align:middle line:84% In white dunes she had the nerve to become male. 00:17:58.490 --> 00:18:00.290 align:middle line:90% Really she was bloodless. 00:18:00.290 --> 00:18:02.360 align:middle line:90% On her lap in this photo. 00:18:02.360 --> 00:18:04.730 align:middle line:84% A woman with hair around her breasts. 00:18:04.730 --> 00:18:05.810 align:middle line:90% Dead too soon. 00:18:05.810 --> 00:18:06.980 align:middle line:90% She wore a vest. 00:18:06.980 --> 00:18:08.270 align:middle line:90% April existed. 00:18:08.270 --> 00:18:09.860 align:middle line:90% Her brothers shut their eyes. 00:18:09.860 --> 00:18:11.030 align:middle line:90% In harm's way. 00:18:11.030 --> 00:18:12.620 align:middle line:84% Though they tried to have her exiled. 00:18:12.620 --> 00:18:14.600 align:middle line:90% To pay the living for the dead. 00:18:14.600 --> 00:18:16.910 align:middle line:84% May almost did disappear when, in the midst 00:18:16.910 --> 00:18:19.460 align:middle line:84% of being caressed by the loving words of a telegram, 00:18:19.460 --> 00:18:20.600 align:middle line:90% she heard a crack. 00:18:20.600 --> 00:18:21.560 align:middle line:90% Under eating. 00:18:21.560 --> 00:18:23.390 align:middle line:90% She collapsed. 00:18:23.390 --> 00:18:25.340 align:middle line:90% Had her skull been split? 00:18:25.340 --> 00:18:27.380 align:middle line:90% Convinced she could carry. 00:18:27.380 --> 00:18:29.450 align:middle line:90% Looking up she saw a saber. 00:18:29.450 --> 00:18:30.830 align:middle line:90% A girl's body. 00:18:30.830 --> 00:18:32.120 align:middle line:90% Why, she wailed? 00:18:32.120 --> 00:18:33.140 align:middle line:90% She blew away." 00:18:33.140 --> 00:18:38.020 align:middle line:90% 00:18:38.020 --> 00:18:39.370 align:middle line:90% All right, two more. 00:18:39.370 --> 00:18:43.130 align:middle line:90% 00:18:43.130 --> 00:18:48.860 align:middle line:84% That poem comes from a woman who-- 00:18:48.860 --> 00:18:52.090 align:middle line:84% Middle Eastern woman who lived out in the desert. 00:18:52.090 --> 00:18:53.980 align:middle line:90% And it also comes-- 00:18:53.980 --> 00:18:55.780 align:middle line:84% I'm horrible at explaining things-- 00:18:55.780 --> 00:19:05.110 align:middle line:90% it also comes from Marla. 00:19:05.110 --> 00:19:10.870 align:middle line:84% She was a woman who did relief work in Iraq 00:19:10.870 --> 00:19:14.800 align:middle line:84% and was killed in a bomb, when a bomb hit her car. 00:19:14.800 --> 00:19:18.910 align:middle line:84% I'm sorry, I don't remember her last name at the moment. 00:19:18.910 --> 00:19:21.670 align:middle line:90% "The Disembodied Voice." 00:19:21.670 --> 00:19:24.610 align:middle line:84% "I drove up to the old woman's house with the one center 00:19:24.610 --> 00:19:27.370 align:middle line:84% window in the middle of the burned field, 00:19:27.370 --> 00:19:30.460 align:middle line:84% past the fence stuffed with Styrofoam cups that spell 00:19:30.460 --> 00:19:32.950 align:middle line:90% 'Love you, Oresta.' 00:19:32.950 --> 00:19:37.300 align:middle line:84% The old woman tells me about her feeble legs and skeleton face 00:19:37.300 --> 00:19:40.240 align:middle line:84% and her friend married now with children, who punched her 00:19:40.240 --> 00:19:44.200 align:middle line:84% in her sand-blown skeleton face, all because of one bean and one 00:19:44.200 --> 00:19:45.310 align:middle line:90% leaf. 00:19:45.310 --> 00:19:46.780 align:middle line:90% They were fleeing war. 00:19:46.780 --> 00:19:50.510 align:middle line:84% One bean and one leaf was all they had to eat. 00:19:50.510 --> 00:19:52.780 align:middle line:84% They had to share, and her friend, a man's skeleton, 00:19:52.780 --> 00:19:54.520 align:middle line:90% didn't want to. 00:19:54.520 --> 00:19:55.810 align:middle line:90% She's in her pea patch. 00:19:55.810 --> 00:19:58.570 align:middle line:84% She stops talking and points under her house. 00:19:58.570 --> 00:20:02.650 align:middle line:84% Blossom has had puppies, she whoops, slapping her thigh. 00:20:02.650 --> 00:20:04.840 align:middle line:90% Her voice is unselfconscious. 00:20:04.840 --> 00:20:06.160 align:middle line:90% I've heard it other places. 00:20:06.160 --> 00:20:07.420 align:middle line:90% I've heard it at the Exxon. 00:20:07.420 --> 00:20:09.760 align:middle line:84% The old timer who calls me spring chicken 00:20:09.760 --> 00:20:11.440 align:middle line:90% has the same voice. 00:20:11.440 --> 00:20:12.430 align:middle line:90% It goes up and up. 00:20:12.430 --> 00:20:13.420 align:middle line:90% It soars. 00:20:13.420 --> 00:20:17.020 align:middle line:84% A funny falsetto, filled with lots of laughing and giggling. 00:20:17.020 --> 00:20:18.560 align:middle line:90% And then boom, it breaks. 00:20:18.560 --> 00:20:21.040 align:middle line:84% Then it rises again, true to the hills. 00:20:21.040 --> 00:20:23.560 align:middle line:84% The old woman wears a shirt with dogs on it. 00:20:23.560 --> 00:20:26.050 align:middle line:84% I look at where she's recently burned herself. 00:20:26.050 --> 00:20:29.170 align:middle line:84% Her fleshy hand, not so skeletonly now, 00:20:29.170 --> 00:20:30.983 align:middle line:90% is pink under the burn. 00:20:30.983 --> 00:20:33.400 align:middle line:84% It's a different sound, sung in a different tone of voice, 00:20:33.400 --> 00:20:33.900 align:middle line:90% she says. 00:20:33.900 --> 00:20:37.060 align:middle line:84% Soft as the voice of an angel she sings. 00:20:37.060 --> 00:20:39.250 align:middle line:84% At first the melody is recognizable, 00:20:39.250 --> 00:20:41.440 align:middle line:84% but then she shifts to a high-pitched, strung-out, 00:20:41.440 --> 00:20:43.360 align:middle line:90% fluttering moan. 00:20:43.360 --> 00:20:45.670 align:middle line:84% The high untranslatable and notatable voice, 00:20:45.670 --> 00:20:48.130 align:middle line:84% the very voice, the voice eternally 00:20:48.130 --> 00:20:51.490 align:middle line:84% of ghost child's long lost shadow floats at the same time 00:20:51.490 --> 00:20:53.200 align:middle line:90% as it is held down. 00:20:53.200 --> 00:20:55.570 align:middle line:84% This voice comes from clothes under gowns, 00:20:55.570 --> 00:20:58.300 align:middle line:84% from submersion in polluted rivers, carrying no contact 00:20:58.300 --> 00:21:00.010 align:middle line:90% advisory warnings. 00:21:00.010 --> 00:21:02.180 align:middle line:84% I pray without praying to the old woman. 00:21:02.180 --> 00:21:04.000 align:middle line:84% She's down now at the river bank, 00:21:04.000 --> 00:21:06.730 align:middle line:84% hugging her knees, cursing her own reflection 00:21:06.730 --> 00:21:11.860 align:middle line:84% in the flaccid sun of the polluted tributary. 00:21:11.860 --> 00:21:13.780 align:middle line:84% The light bouncing off the rippled river 00:21:13.780 --> 00:21:15.820 align:middle line:84% casts a white line across her neck, 00:21:15.820 --> 00:21:19.840 align:middle line:84% slicing her in two, like quartz cuts through a dark stone. 00:21:19.840 --> 00:21:22.750 align:middle line:84% I remember my skeleton face and the selfishness of it 00:21:22.750 --> 00:21:25.330 align:middle line:84% when I think of her abandoned skeleton. 00:21:25.330 --> 00:21:27.940 align:middle line:84% I imagine the people we used to be, and who we are now, 00:21:27.940 --> 00:21:30.520 align:middle line:84% this spring, as she dips her bucket into the water, 00:21:30.520 --> 00:21:32.710 align:middle line:84% hauls it uphill, and shows me how to grow." 00:21:32.710 --> 00:21:37.860 align:middle line:90% 00:21:37.860 --> 00:21:41.040 align:middle line:90% "Lament of Late." 00:21:41.040 --> 00:21:42.690 align:middle line:90% "One. 00:21:42.690 --> 00:21:43.800 align:middle line:90% What was the collapse? 00:21:43.800 --> 00:21:45.780 align:middle line:90% When did it occur? 00:21:45.780 --> 00:21:48.570 align:middle line:84% There were orange peels on wood cookstove drying. 00:21:48.570 --> 00:21:50.970 align:middle line:84% I put them in my pockets before going to school. 00:21:50.970 --> 00:21:52.410 align:middle line:90% I liked their aroma. 00:21:52.410 --> 00:21:54.330 align:middle line:90% Sometimes I nibbled on them. 00:21:54.330 --> 00:21:56.460 align:middle line:84% The wood cookstove stood cockeyed to the kitchen. 00:21:56.460 --> 00:21:59.265 align:middle line:84% You passed it on your left as you headed toward the window. 00:21:59.265 --> 00:22:01.890 align:middle line:84% I remember standing near it and wishing I wouldn't have to eat. 00:22:01.890 --> 00:22:03.120 align:middle line:90% I was 12. 00:22:03.120 --> 00:22:05.370 align:middle line:84% Already I'd been told I would have to go to the doctor 00:22:05.370 --> 00:22:08.190 align:middle line:84% if I didn't straighten my shoulders. 00:22:08.190 --> 00:22:10.170 align:middle line:90% How did you unbury yourself? 00:22:10.170 --> 00:22:11.190 align:middle line:90% It was spring. 00:22:11.190 --> 00:22:13.800 align:middle line:84% I could not let myself roost, curled, feverish, 00:22:13.800 --> 00:22:17.130 align:middle line:84% with the approaching light, as doves huddled on fence posts. 00:22:17.130 --> 00:22:18.870 align:middle line:90% The morning shower chilled. 00:22:18.870 --> 00:22:21.420 align:middle line:84% I wanted to be able to reconstruct my body before I 00:22:21.420 --> 00:22:25.320 align:middle line:84% allowed the light in, light choked by suffering birdsong. 00:22:25.320 --> 00:22:27.930 align:middle line:84% Instead I stretched past the limit of my own skin, 00:22:27.930 --> 00:22:30.330 align:middle line:84% limiting touch, trading the arc of what is not 00:22:30.330 --> 00:22:32.970 align:middle line:90% for the flavor of what was. 00:22:32.970 --> 00:22:34.950 align:middle line:84% Shivering woman whose skin comes upon you 00:22:34.950 --> 00:22:37.440 align:middle line:84% like that of an infant, who can claim you? 00:22:37.440 --> 00:22:40.430 align:middle line:90% The fist that never rested. 00:22:40.430 --> 00:22:41.390 align:middle line:90% Two. 00:22:41.390 --> 00:22:43.280 align:middle line:90% I decorate the refrigerator. 00:22:43.280 --> 00:22:46.490 align:middle line:84% Why do you put things on it, the refugee asks. 00:22:46.490 --> 00:22:49.010 align:middle line:90% He has never had a refrigerator. 00:22:49.010 --> 00:22:50.990 align:middle line:90% I'm not asking for anything. 00:22:50.990 --> 00:22:52.610 align:middle line:90% I don't open my mouth. 00:22:52.610 --> 00:22:55.250 align:middle line:84% There are a billion unmentionables. 00:22:55.250 --> 00:22:57.530 align:middle line:84% The task isn't something that can be assigned. 00:22:57.530 --> 00:22:59.450 align:middle line:84% It is a becoming, a becoming linked 00:22:59.450 --> 00:23:01.550 align:middle line:90% to a gesture, a fossil imprint. 00:23:01.550 --> 00:23:04.730 align:middle line:84% Regret, take back your silver hair from my shoulders. 00:23:04.730 --> 00:23:05.990 align:middle line:90% Don't require me. 00:23:05.990 --> 00:23:07.190 align:middle line:90% We favor the mirror. 00:23:07.190 --> 00:23:10.130 align:middle line:90% We favor the refrigerator. 00:23:10.130 --> 00:23:12.020 align:middle line:90% You cannot wake annoying. 00:23:12.020 --> 00:23:13.370 align:middle line:90% Water travels down. 00:23:13.370 --> 00:23:17.240 align:middle line:84% We are fed by circumstantial rain seasonably. 00:23:17.240 --> 00:23:19.310 align:middle line:90% Mesquite blossoms coat the sand. 00:23:19.310 --> 00:23:22.130 align:middle line:84% I brace myself for the emergence of sun. 00:23:22.130 --> 00:23:24.200 align:middle line:84% It is beyond the horizon, blocked 00:23:24.200 --> 00:23:25.730 align:middle line:90% by what's in front of me. 00:23:25.730 --> 00:23:27.950 align:middle line:84% Soon it will be blocked by what is behind." 00:23:27.950 --> 00:23:30.878 align:middle line:90% 00:23:30.878 --> 00:23:32.150 align:middle line:90% Thank you. 00:23:32.150 --> 00:23:34.650 align:middle line:90% [APPLAUSE] 00:23:34.650 --> 00:23:45.620 align:middle line:90% 00:23:45.620 --> 00:23:46.370 align:middle line:90% Thank you, Spring. 00:23:46.370 --> 00:23:51.800 align:middle line:90% 00:23:51.800 --> 00:23:55.940 align:middle line:84% Kit McIlroy is the author of a collection of short stories 00:23:55.940 --> 00:23:58.970 align:middle line:84% called All My Relations, and it won the Flannery O'Connor 00:23:58.970 --> 00:24:02.360 align:middle line:84% Prize for Short Fiction, a major national award. 00:24:02.360 --> 00:24:05.300 align:middle line:84% His short stories have been published in magazines 00:24:05.300 --> 00:24:07.610 align:middle line:84% all over the country and anthologized 00:24:07.610 --> 00:24:09.470 align:middle line:84% in many great anthologies, including 00:24:09.470 --> 00:24:12.020 align:middle line:90% Best American Short Stories. 00:24:12.020 --> 00:24:15.080 align:middle line:84% He taught fiction writing-- has taught fiction writing here 00:24:15.080 --> 00:24:18.770 align:middle line:84% at U of A. And he also was instrumental in starting 00:24:18.770 --> 00:24:22.280 align:middle line:84% ArtsReach, a program that has brought writing activities 00:24:22.280 --> 00:24:25.830 align:middle line:84% to Native American communities all over the state. 00:24:25.830 --> 00:24:28.790 align:middle line:84% So they might be Tohono O'odham, or Apache, 00:24:28.790 --> 00:24:32.630 align:middle line:84% or Navajo, or Hopi, or Maricopa, or Pima, or who 00:24:32.630 --> 00:24:35.525 align:middle line:90% knows, all over the state. 00:24:35.525 --> 00:24:37.670 align:middle line:90% Let's see. 00:24:37.670 --> 00:24:38.510 align:middle line:90% One other thing. 00:24:38.510 --> 00:24:41.300 align:middle line:84% Kit is the Writer in Residence for the Tucson Unified School 00:24:41.300 --> 00:24:42.020 align:middle line:90% District. 00:24:42.020 --> 00:24:45.020 align:middle line:84% Every school district should have a writer in residence. 00:24:45.020 --> 00:24:47.030 align:middle line:84% And every school district should be so lucky 00:24:47.030 --> 00:24:48.620 align:middle line:90% as to have one like Kit. 00:24:48.620 --> 00:24:49.790 align:middle line:90% Please welcome Kit McIlroy. 00:24:49.790 --> 00:24:52.275 align:middle line:90% [APPLAUSE] 00:24:52.275 --> 00:25:02.712 align:middle line:90% 00:25:02.712 --> 00:25:04.720 align:middle line:90% How does that sound? 00:25:04.720 --> 00:25:05.220 align:middle line:90% Yeah? 00:25:05.220 --> 00:25:06.810 align:middle line:90% OK. 00:25:06.810 --> 00:25:07.600 align:middle line:90% Thank you, Peggy. 00:25:07.600 --> 00:25:09.480 align:middle line:84% I just realized it's been a really long time, 00:25:09.480 --> 00:25:11.970 align:middle line:84% and it kind of coincides with when I first 00:25:11.970 --> 00:25:13.260 align:middle line:90% got to know the Poetry Center. 00:25:13.260 --> 00:25:16.692 align:middle line:84% And it's clear to everybody now that the Poetry Center 00:25:16.692 --> 00:25:18.150 align:middle line:84% is a community treasure, but I just 00:25:18.150 --> 00:25:20.880 align:middle line:84% want to kind of thank it in all of its many incarnations 00:25:20.880 --> 00:25:25.380 align:middle line:84% over the years for being a personal treasure of mine, too. 00:25:25.380 --> 00:25:28.050 align:middle line:84% When I first moved back to Tucson in the 1970s 00:25:28.050 --> 00:25:30.345 align:middle line:90% I was living with a poet. 00:25:30.345 --> 00:25:32.970 align:middle line:84% And I didn't know nothing about poetry, which is about the same 00:25:32.970 --> 00:25:35.640 align:middle line:84% as I know now, but she sort of guided me to that. 00:25:35.640 --> 00:25:38.280 align:middle line:84% And there was something in those days where 00:25:38.280 --> 00:25:43.050 align:middle line:84% it was a tiny, little, stucco-covered hovel that 00:25:43.050 --> 00:25:47.340 align:middle line:84% somehow managed to encompass a sense of absolute boundless 00:25:47.340 --> 00:25:48.000 align:middle line:90% plenitude. 00:25:48.000 --> 00:25:51.240 align:middle line:84% Because there were all these poets, and all these books, 00:25:51.240 --> 00:25:54.790 align:middle line:84% and you felt as if you could read forever without stopping. 00:25:54.790 --> 00:25:57.720 align:middle line:84% At the same time, there has always been a sense of comfort. 00:25:57.720 --> 00:26:00.330 align:middle line:84% So you come in, and it's this seductive comfort 00:26:00.330 --> 00:26:01.693 align:middle line:90% would kind of enwrap you. 00:26:01.693 --> 00:26:03.360 align:middle line:84% And the result of this is a feeling sort 00:26:03.360 --> 00:26:07.620 align:middle line:84% of like of being stimulated into napping, which is a really 00:26:07.620 --> 00:26:09.150 align:middle line:90% pleasant kind of sensation. 00:26:09.150 --> 00:26:12.300 align:middle line:90% And here it is, this palace now. 00:26:12.300 --> 00:26:14.430 align:middle line:90% It's come all this way. 00:26:14.430 --> 00:26:17.250 align:middle line:84% But I'm just grateful that it's been here for so many of us. 00:26:17.250 --> 00:26:18.780 align:middle line:84% And I have a particular gratitude, 00:26:18.780 --> 00:26:22.680 align:middle line:84% as Peggy pointed out, about ArtsReach. 00:26:22.680 --> 00:26:25.410 align:middle line:84% The Poetry Center has been instrumental in ArtsReach's 00:26:25.410 --> 00:26:29.640 align:middle line:84% success over the years, supplying us 00:26:29.640 --> 00:26:34.350 align:middle line:84% with essential people, actually, in our organization, 00:26:34.350 --> 00:26:38.460 align:middle line:84% giving us a venue for students to demonstrate their talents 00:26:38.460 --> 00:26:40.230 align:middle line:84% at the Modern Languages Building as part 00:26:40.230 --> 00:26:42.397 align:middle line:84% of the prestigious annual poetry series, 00:26:42.397 --> 00:26:44.730 align:middle line:84% so that I can actually tell kids from the Tohono O'odham 00:26:44.730 --> 00:26:47.188 align:middle line:84% Reservation or other places that you're going to be reading 00:26:47.188 --> 00:26:50.640 align:middle line:90% where Yevtushenko read. 00:26:50.640 --> 00:26:52.140 align:middle line:84% And then you tell them, and then you 00:26:52.140 --> 00:26:55.020 align:middle line:84% say all these Pulitzer Prize, Nobel Prize-winning poets 00:26:55.020 --> 00:26:57.120 align:middle line:84% have been reading where you're going to read. 00:26:57.120 --> 00:26:59.310 align:middle line:90% OK. 00:26:59.310 --> 00:27:00.750 align:middle line:90% So there's that. 00:27:00.750 --> 00:27:04.110 align:middle line:84% And even things like Alison supplying us 00:27:04.110 --> 00:27:06.090 align:middle line:84% with a little tiny portable sound 00:27:06.090 --> 00:27:08.100 align:middle line:84% system when we were invited to read 00:27:08.100 --> 00:27:10.140 align:middle line:84% at the U of A, the mall on a windblown day, 00:27:10.140 --> 00:27:12.517 align:middle line:84% on a stage with absolutely no sound equipment at all. 00:27:12.517 --> 00:27:14.100 align:middle line:84% These kids are up there kind of going, 00:27:14.100 --> 00:27:17.490 align:middle line:84% "and in my land" and the words are just blown to nowhere. 00:27:17.490 --> 00:27:20.250 align:middle line:84% And then Alison shows up with this little portable speaker. 00:27:20.250 --> 00:27:22.620 align:middle line:90% So, great. 00:27:22.620 --> 00:27:25.290 align:middle line:84% I love the Poetry Center, and I'm greatly, greatly 00:27:25.290 --> 00:27:26.790 align:middle line:84% honored to be reading here tonight, 00:27:26.790 --> 00:27:32.370 align:middle line:84% and I'll simply congratulate them for making it this far. 00:27:32.370 --> 00:27:35.633 align:middle line:84% This story is called "Ice Tea," and I 00:27:35.633 --> 00:27:37.050 align:middle line:84% wish I was that kind of writer who 00:27:37.050 --> 00:27:39.300 align:middle line:84% liked to provide all kinds of arcane information, 00:27:39.300 --> 00:27:41.490 align:middle line:84% because I'm so learned that to understand this story 00:27:41.490 --> 00:27:44.967 align:middle line:84% you should know that, in the Bolshevik spring, that-- 00:27:44.967 --> 00:27:46.800 align:middle line:84% all you really need to know about this story 00:27:46.800 --> 00:27:49.950 align:middle line:84% is that there are people in Montana who drink a lot. 00:27:49.950 --> 00:27:51.510 align:middle line:90% So there you are. 00:27:51.510 --> 00:27:54.630 align:middle line:84% "In the seconds before his tires hit the black ice, 00:27:54.630 --> 00:27:57.330 align:middle line:84% Bob Weiss apprehended that the reservation experiment 00:27:57.330 --> 00:28:00.240 align:middle line:90% had gone bust, a false start. 00:28:00.240 --> 00:28:02.700 align:middle line:84% After the school year ended, he would leave. 00:28:02.700 --> 00:28:05.880 align:middle line:84% Nearly unconscious with drink, he didn't slow down. 00:28:05.880 --> 00:28:09.060 align:middle line:84% The undersized pickup left the road without hesitation. 00:28:09.060 --> 00:28:11.610 align:middle line:84% It was January, the edge of Crow Indian country 00:28:11.610 --> 00:28:13.290 align:middle line:90% in southern Montana. 00:28:13.290 --> 00:28:15.900 align:middle line:84% The pickup snapped off a swath of bare branches 00:28:15.900 --> 00:28:19.260 align:middle line:84% before overturning beside a frozen pond. 00:28:19.260 --> 00:28:21.840 align:middle line:84% A scant half hour later, two of Bob's students, 00:28:21.840 --> 00:28:25.380 align:middle line:84% juniors at Arrow Creek High, spotted the headlights staring 00:28:25.380 --> 00:28:27.240 align:middle line:90% walleyed into the trees. 00:28:27.240 --> 00:28:28.890 align:middle line:84% They stopped their rusted Impala, 00:28:28.890 --> 00:28:31.290 align:middle line:84% dragged the cold, inert form from the wreck, 00:28:31.290 --> 00:28:33.720 align:middle line:84% hightailed it into the rez town of Arrow Creek, 00:28:33.720 --> 00:28:36.660 align:middle line:84% and dumped it on the living room couch of another teacher. 00:28:36.660 --> 00:28:38.010 align:middle line:90% Bob was OK. 00:28:38.010 --> 00:28:40.380 align:middle line:90% He slept the weekend. 00:28:40.380 --> 00:28:43.530 align:middle line:84% Bob's students immediately dropped the W from his name, 00:28:43.530 --> 00:28:45.960 align:middle line:90% in honor of his driving exploit. 00:28:45.960 --> 00:28:49.500 align:middle line:84% Then from "Bob Ice," the rapper boys with the backwards Bulls 00:28:49.500 --> 00:28:53.040 align:middle line:84% caps dubbed him Ice-T from a used CD they'd picked up 00:28:53.040 --> 00:28:55.080 align:middle line:90% in the swap shop in Billings. 00:28:55.080 --> 00:28:58.080 align:middle line:84% Some of the girls preferred 'Encino Man' after the revived 00:28:58.080 --> 00:29:00.600 align:middle line:84% frozen Stone-Ager star of a video 00:29:00.600 --> 00:29:03.900 align:middle line:84% they rented from the Arrow Creek Lunch and Trading Post. 00:29:03.900 --> 00:29:06.270 align:middle line:84% Bob looked the part of a Montana mountain man, 00:29:06.270 --> 00:29:09.360 align:middle line:84% tall, angular, and bearded, though balding. 00:29:09.360 --> 00:29:11.040 align:middle line:90% But he was from Ohio. 00:29:11.040 --> 00:29:15.450 align:middle line:84% He walked stooped and was given to sudden, rude intimacies. 00:29:15.450 --> 00:29:17.980 align:middle line:84% For instance, the first Monday after the accident, 00:29:17.980 --> 00:29:21.090 align:middle line:84% he told his class, 'They said I was passed out, 00:29:21.090 --> 00:29:23.160 align:middle line:84% but I was awake the whole time, looking 00:29:23.160 --> 00:29:26.100 align:middle line:84% through that hole in the windshield at the cold stars. 00:29:26.100 --> 00:29:27.750 align:middle line:90% I knew I was freezing. 00:29:27.750 --> 00:29:30.300 align:middle line:84% You'd expect to see stuff like the face of Jesus, 00:29:30.300 --> 00:29:32.720 align:middle line:84% but I was with this French whore. 00:29:32.720 --> 00:29:34.470 align:middle line:84% I've never been to France, you understand. 00:29:34.470 --> 00:29:36.060 align:middle line:90% This is in my head. 00:29:36.060 --> 00:29:39.870 align:middle line:84% She's saying in her accent, 'Ro- bear, tonight we make baby. 00:29:39.870 --> 00:29:43.380 align:middle line:84% I take my basal temperature, my body is ripe.' 00:29:43.380 --> 00:29:45.810 align:middle line:84% And we're going at it, and she's talking about the baby, 00:29:45.810 --> 00:29:47.790 align:middle line:90% his curly hair and big chin. 00:29:47.790 --> 00:29:50.070 align:middle line:84% It's all an act, a whore's thing, but extra 00:29:50.070 --> 00:29:51.120 align:middle line:90% creative and personal. 00:29:51.120 --> 00:29:53.228 align:middle line:90% For me.' 00:29:53.228 --> 00:29:55.770 align:middle line:84% The kids had the impression of peering into the visible man." 00:29:55.770 --> 00:29:57.570 align:middle line:84% And this demographic probably knows that was, 00:29:57.570 --> 00:29:59.112 align:middle line:84% those little plastic figures that you 00:29:59.112 --> 00:30:01.470 align:middle line:84% used to be able to see with the organs inside. 00:30:01.470 --> 00:30:04.260 align:middle line:84% OK, that was some arcane knowledge. 00:30:04.260 --> 00:30:06.960 align:middle line:84% "The kids had the impression of peering into the visible man. 00:30:06.960 --> 00:30:08.760 align:middle line:84% They didn't necessarily like what they saw, 00:30:08.760 --> 00:30:10.530 align:middle line:84% but they liked him for being weird enough 00:30:10.530 --> 00:30:12.630 align:middle line:90% to show it to them. 00:30:12.630 --> 00:30:15.300 align:middle line:84% Bob taught vocational agriculture, his second year 00:30:15.300 --> 00:30:17.550 align:middle line:90% after 15 with USDA. 00:30:17.550 --> 00:30:20.520 align:middle line:84% Enrollment for his specialty was near zero, 00:30:20.520 --> 00:30:23.280 align:middle line:84% so he diversified into woodworking and auto shop, 00:30:23.280 --> 00:30:24.450 align:middle line:90% both popular. 00:30:24.450 --> 00:30:27.330 align:middle line:84% Crows didn't want to farm, he concluded. 00:30:27.330 --> 00:30:29.100 align:middle line:84% The following weeks he replaced the truck 00:30:29.100 --> 00:30:31.440 align:middle line:84% and drank even more recklessly, keeling over 00:30:31.440 --> 00:30:33.660 align:middle line:84% onto the floor of his triplex with a thud that 00:30:33.660 --> 00:30:35.130 align:middle line:90% alerted his neighbors. 00:30:35.130 --> 00:30:37.200 align:middle line:90% In class he'd still be drunk. 00:30:37.200 --> 00:30:39.120 align:middle line:84% It was said he drank with the kids. 00:30:39.120 --> 00:30:41.370 align:middle line:84% Indisputably, he bought Mortal Kombat 00:30:41.370 --> 00:30:43.720 align:middle line:84% and allowed them to play at his home all hours. 00:30:43.720 --> 00:30:46.590 align:middle line:84% So the next day they'd be as hollow-eyed as he. 00:30:46.590 --> 00:30:49.800 align:middle line:84% The principal warned him, but at midyear, for the rez, 00:30:49.800 --> 00:30:52.260 align:middle line:84% it was tough finding teachers without criminal records 00:30:52.260 --> 00:30:55.230 align:middle line:84% or certifiable mental disabilities. 00:30:55.230 --> 00:30:57.300 align:middle line:84% Bob couldn't think past the end of the semester 00:30:57.300 --> 00:30:58.830 align:middle line:90% to what he'd do next. 00:30:58.830 --> 00:31:01.650 align:middle line:84% The USDA had fired him for prolonged drunkenness following 00:31:01.650 --> 00:31:03.817 align:middle line:84% the breakup of his second marriage. 00:31:03.817 --> 00:31:05.400 align:middle line:84% While earning his teaching certificate 00:31:05.400 --> 00:31:07.530 align:middle line:90% he'd worked a series of jobs. 00:31:07.530 --> 00:31:09.660 align:middle line:84% Most memorably, he'd cooked for Ramada Inn 00:31:09.660 --> 00:31:11.400 align:middle line:84% until a buffet luncheon when he'd 00:31:11.400 --> 00:31:14.610 align:middle line:84% composed a salad of whole, unpeeled oranges, garnished 00:31:14.610 --> 00:31:17.280 align:middle line:90% with unshelled boiled eggs. 00:31:17.280 --> 00:31:20.580 align:middle line:84% Diners examined it in wonder, but without sampling. 00:31:20.580 --> 00:31:23.320 align:middle line:84% Then he'd stacked apple cores like Lincoln Logs around 00:31:23.320 --> 00:31:25.440 align:middle line:90% a paté. 00:31:25.440 --> 00:31:28.230 align:middle line:84% Bob met Carolita Salgado at a Billings bar. 00:31:28.230 --> 00:31:31.290 align:middle line:84% He bought into the idea that being Mexican made her hot. 00:31:31.290 --> 00:31:33.150 align:middle line:84% She wore men's Levi's with the button 00:31:33.150 --> 00:31:35.250 align:middle line:84% fly, the bulge of her tummy parting 00:31:35.250 --> 00:31:37.500 align:middle line:90% the denim flaps like labia. 00:31:37.500 --> 00:31:40.230 align:middle line:84% Yet she volunteered that she was a Seventh Day Adventist, 00:31:40.230 --> 00:31:43.410 align:middle line:84% that the liquid in her highball glass was straight ginger ale, 00:31:43.410 --> 00:31:47.640 align:middle line:84% and that the bar's dense smoke inflamed her eyes. 00:31:47.640 --> 00:31:50.160 align:middle line:84% Bob took her to an all-night coffee shop. 00:31:50.160 --> 00:31:53.670 align:middle line:84% Summers in a rustic cottage on Lake Erie when he was a boy 00:31:53.670 --> 00:31:56.730 align:middle line:84% had given him a sense of home, and that made him a lucky man, 00:31:56.730 --> 00:31:58.200 align:middle line:90% Bob said. 00:31:58.200 --> 00:32:00.070 align:middle line:90% He had no children. 00:32:00.070 --> 00:32:03.990 align:middle line:84% Carolita's two belonged to that old life, she said, 00:32:03.990 --> 00:32:07.380 align:middle line:84% jerking her head as if at something over her shoulder. 00:32:07.380 --> 00:32:09.480 align:middle line:84% That night she wouldn't let him touch her, 00:32:09.480 --> 00:32:12.240 align:middle line:84% but over the next few weeks Bob forced himself 00:32:12.240 --> 00:32:15.750 align:middle line:84% into athletic sexual feats for which she complimented him. 00:32:15.750 --> 00:32:17.460 align:middle line:84% She quit her job with the phone company 00:32:17.460 --> 00:32:18.900 align:middle line:90% and moved on to the rez. 00:32:18.900 --> 00:32:22.680 align:middle line:84% Next to his flyweight Isuzu, her white '71 Chevy 00:32:22.680 --> 00:32:26.430 align:middle line:84% pickup looked more at home, huge, slightly crushed in, 00:32:26.430 --> 00:32:28.980 align:middle line:90% like a lunging animal. 00:32:28.980 --> 00:32:31.950 align:middle line:84% Carolita volunteered in the classroom as a general gofer, 00:32:31.950 --> 00:32:33.900 align:middle line:84% circulating in the barn-like shop 00:32:33.900 --> 00:32:37.380 align:middle line:84% amid the table saw's whine and the sharp reports of the impact 00:32:37.380 --> 00:32:38.430 align:middle line:90% wrench. 00:32:38.430 --> 00:32:41.640 align:middle line:84% She said she was 38, nine years younger than Bob. 00:32:41.640 --> 00:32:43.290 align:middle line:84% But with her hair dyed jet black, 00:32:43.290 --> 00:32:45.210 align:middle line:84% she could have been in her late 20s. 00:32:45.210 --> 00:32:47.490 align:middle line:84% She also dyed a blonde and brown streak 00:32:47.490 --> 00:32:50.250 align:middle line:84% down the middle, which some girls imitated. 00:32:50.250 --> 00:32:53.370 align:middle line:84% To the boys she was a chunk of raw sex set down 00:32:53.370 --> 00:32:56.040 align:middle line:90% to thaw in the big cat cage. 00:32:56.040 --> 00:32:59.820 align:middle line:84% They circled, biding their time, practically rubbing their heads 00:32:59.820 --> 00:33:00.930 align:middle line:90% against her. 00:33:00.930 --> 00:33:04.830 align:middle line:84% Her demeanor was proper, brittle, scarcely smiling. 00:33:04.830 --> 00:33:06.495 align:middle line:84% Yet Bob couldn't control his voice. 00:33:06.495 --> 00:33:09.120 align:middle line:84% 'This is how you stay in school when you're flunking everything 00:33:09.120 --> 00:33:10.908 align:middle line:84% else?' he yelled at Alex Old Bull, 00:33:10.908 --> 00:33:13.200 align:middle line:84% who wore a T-shirt with rain on the front and lightning 00:33:13.200 --> 00:33:14.070 align:middle line:90% in back. 00:33:14.070 --> 00:33:15.960 align:middle line:84% Alex had leaned behind Carolita's neck 00:33:15.960 --> 00:33:17.520 align:middle line:90% and whispered in her ear. 00:33:17.520 --> 00:33:18.420 align:middle line:90% Just jivin', Ice. 00:33:18.420 --> 00:33:20.130 align:middle line:90% Just jivin', sorry. 00:33:20.130 --> 00:33:22.080 align:middle line:84% The boys nodded and went back to work. 00:33:22.080 --> 00:33:26.160 align:middle line:84% Unafraid, they had no heart for shaming him. 00:33:26.160 --> 00:33:28.680 align:middle line:84% In fact, with Bob, Carolita was more often 00:33:28.680 --> 00:33:32.430 align:middle line:84% romantic than sexual, as if they were still courting. 00:33:32.430 --> 00:33:35.220 align:middle line:84% She didn't approve of their sex without marriage. 00:33:35.220 --> 00:33:36.840 align:middle line:84% If he didn't drink so much, she said, 00:33:36.840 --> 00:33:40.470 align:middle line:84% he could afford to take her on a helicopter ride. 00:33:40.470 --> 00:33:42.870 align:middle line:84% 'You put away that habit of poisoning your body, 00:33:42.870 --> 00:33:48.390 align:middle line:84% and your mind goes more places, being up there,' she said, 00:33:48.390 --> 00:33:52.410 align:middle line:84% her eyes closed, mouth tightened into a line, forehead clenched. 00:33:52.410 --> 00:33:54.750 align:middle line:84% She didn't nag, but that yearning 00:33:54.750 --> 00:33:58.500 align:middle line:84% was a hollow place, scary if left unfilled. 00:33:58.500 --> 00:34:02.610 align:middle line:84% Besides, Bob liked the transaction, a high for a high. 00:34:02.610 --> 00:34:05.730 align:middle line:84% After a month on the wagon, he drove her to a helicopter pad 00:34:05.730 --> 00:34:07.950 align:middle line:90% in Billings on April 2nd. 00:34:07.950 --> 00:34:09.780 align:middle line:84% The weather and view were magnificent, 00:34:09.780 --> 00:34:12.210 align:middle line:84% but it wasn't much of a social afternoon. 00:34:12.210 --> 00:34:14.850 align:middle line:84% As they flew over the vibrantly sallow skin 00:34:14.850 --> 00:34:17.590 align:middle line:84% of the earth, furred by woods, cracked with gullies, 00:34:17.590 --> 00:34:20.639 align:middle line:84% the uplift of mountains patched with snow and shadow, 00:34:20.639 --> 00:34:23.159 align:middle line:90% Carolita prayed and cried. 00:34:23.159 --> 00:34:24.960 align:middle line:84% She wasn't frightened, but rather 00:34:24.960 --> 00:34:26.639 align:middle line:84% there was something private she tried 00:34:26.639 --> 00:34:30.000 align:middle line:84% to convey with her wet face turned up to him. 00:34:30.000 --> 00:34:32.250 align:middle line:90% They became engaged. 00:34:32.250 --> 00:34:34.620 align:middle line:84% Bob heard of a paleontologist who would take kids 00:34:34.620 --> 00:34:36.870 align:middle line:84% fossil hunting, so he organized a field trip 00:34:36.870 --> 00:34:38.429 align:middle line:90% at the beginning of May. 00:34:38.429 --> 00:34:41.310 align:middle line:84% Hell, he thought, you invent your own job in this place. 00:34:41.310 --> 00:34:44.130 align:middle line:84% Maybe some kids would grow up to be paleontologists. 00:34:44.130 --> 00:34:46.139 align:middle line:84% The high school, junior high, and elementary 00:34:46.139 --> 00:34:49.139 align:middle line:84% combined for the event, two busloads rattling and swerving 00:34:49.139 --> 00:34:52.590 align:middle line:84% 25 miles on a narrow gravel road into the Badlands. 00:34:52.590 --> 00:34:54.449 align:middle line:90% Finbacks knifed into the sky. 00:34:54.449 --> 00:34:56.040 align:middle line:90% Cliffs dropped off sheer. 00:34:56.040 --> 00:34:59.400 align:middle line:84% Dry coulees spilled boulders onto a suddenly red outcrop 00:34:59.400 --> 00:35:00.600 align:middle line:90% of sandstone. 00:35:00.600 --> 00:35:02.810 align:middle line:84% Several acres appeared to have been blasted 00:35:02.810 --> 00:35:06.890 align:middle line:84% by a giant blowtorch, ash heaps littered with sugary crystals 00:35:06.890 --> 00:35:10.490 align:middle line:84% and rocks forged into nearly recognizable shapes-- 00:35:10.490 --> 00:35:13.370 align:middle line:90% a melted camera, a horseshoe. 00:35:13.370 --> 00:35:16.250 align:middle line:84% The kids were wondrously excited, yelling to each other 00:35:16.250 --> 00:35:19.130 align:middle line:84% as they scooped up its ancient sea life and even 00:35:19.130 --> 00:35:21.410 align:middle line:90% dinosaur gizzard stones. 00:35:21.410 --> 00:35:23.840 align:middle line:84% Atop a ridge a teenager gave a great cry 00:35:23.840 --> 00:35:27.620 align:middle line:84% and hurled a flat stone, like a discus, into space. 00:35:27.620 --> 00:35:30.650 align:middle line:84% Not an approved procedure, but funny enough. 00:35:30.650 --> 00:35:33.260 align:middle line:84% Carolita had made lunches for all. 00:35:33.260 --> 00:35:35.480 align:middle line:84% Across the primeval landscape, kids 00:35:35.480 --> 00:35:37.700 align:middle line:90% were eating her sandwiches. 00:35:37.700 --> 00:35:41.510 align:middle line:84% Bob felt staunch with a sense of possibility. 00:35:41.510 --> 00:35:44.210 align:middle line:84% Adhering to the paleontologist's lecture on the way over, 00:35:44.210 --> 00:35:46.760 align:middle line:84% he helped the youngsters discover fossils. 00:35:46.760 --> 00:35:48.620 align:middle line:84% A 10-year-old, disconsolate that he'd 00:35:48.620 --> 00:35:50.660 align:middle line:84% found no gizzard stones, collected 00:35:50.660 --> 00:35:52.790 align:middle line:84% three of the strange rounded pebbles, 00:35:52.790 --> 00:35:56.480 align:middle line:84% so ordinary but for the glassy luminescent polish. 00:35:56.480 --> 00:35:57.950 align:middle line:90% He knew Bob. 00:35:57.950 --> 00:36:00.890 align:middle line:84% 'This was really in a dinosaur's guts, Ice-T? 00:36:00.890 --> 00:36:03.410 align:middle line:90% Ho!' he breathed. 00:36:03.410 --> 00:36:05.870 align:middle line:84% Bob said he used to imagine what kinds of dinosaur 00:36:05.870 --> 00:36:07.250 align:middle line:90% that people would be. 00:36:07.250 --> 00:36:09.110 align:middle line:84% His grandmother was fat with a little head, 00:36:09.110 --> 00:36:11.870 align:middle line:90% so he called her brontosaurus. 00:36:11.870 --> 00:36:15.440 align:middle line:84% 'You're Ice T-rex, man,' the boy said. 00:36:15.440 --> 00:36:17.990 align:middle line:84% He tagged after Bob the rest of the trip. 00:36:17.990 --> 00:36:20.120 align:middle line:84% Bob was tempted to hold his hand. 00:36:20.120 --> 00:36:22.070 align:middle line:84% Walking back to the bus, he said to Carolita, 00:36:22.070 --> 00:36:24.110 align:middle line:90% 'I could live with these kids.' 00:36:24.110 --> 00:36:27.080 align:middle line:84% But already, Carolita was slipping. 00:36:27.080 --> 00:36:29.630 align:middle line:84% Twice Bob had come home to find her rocking out 00:36:29.630 --> 00:36:31.440 align:middle line:90% to devil worship heavy metal. 00:36:31.440 --> 00:36:34.430 align:middle line:84% And when he asked if those were Seventh Day Adventist hymns, 00:36:34.430 --> 00:36:37.100 align:middle line:84% she poked him in the belly and armpit flirtatiously, 00:36:37.100 --> 00:36:38.900 align:middle line:90% but it hurt. 00:36:38.900 --> 00:36:41.120 align:middle line:84% A week after the field trip, she started taking off 00:36:41.120 --> 00:36:42.470 align:middle line:90% in the big white pickup. 00:36:42.470 --> 00:36:43.730 align:middle line:90% He said, 'What the hell?' 00:36:43.730 --> 00:36:45.650 align:middle line:84% And she jabbered as if she were on something, 00:36:45.650 --> 00:36:47.600 align:middle line:84% about a movie with a talking butt, 00:36:47.600 --> 00:36:49.820 align:middle line:84% about people with really big gobs of fat 00:36:49.820 --> 00:36:52.160 align:middle line:84% that moved independently of the rest of them. 00:36:52.160 --> 00:36:54.650 align:middle line:84% Then she was gone two days and nights. 00:36:54.650 --> 00:36:57.200 align:middle line:84% Bob cruised the parking lot of every Billings bar, 00:36:57.200 --> 00:36:59.900 align:middle line:84% drove up and down residential streets, scanning driveways 00:36:59.900 --> 00:37:01.400 align:middle line:90% and open garages. 00:37:01.400 --> 00:37:03.350 align:middle line:84% Late Sunday afternoon she pranced in, 00:37:03.350 --> 00:37:06.662 align:middle line:84% purse balanced on her wrist and eyes staring out of her head. 00:37:06.662 --> 00:37:08.120 align:middle line:84% 'I left some stuff here,' she said, 00:37:08.120 --> 00:37:10.560 align:middle line:84% and disappeared into the bedroom. 00:37:10.560 --> 00:37:13.340 align:middle line:84% Bob ran out and deflated one of the Chevy tires. 00:37:13.340 --> 00:37:15.320 align:middle line:84% When he stood up, she was pointing a pistol. 00:37:15.320 --> 00:37:15.920 align:middle line:90% Bang! 00:37:15.920 --> 00:37:18.080 align:middle line:84% The Isuzu's left front tire popped. 00:37:18.080 --> 00:37:18.650 align:middle line:90% Bang! 00:37:18.650 --> 00:37:20.090 align:middle line:90% The left rear. 00:37:20.090 --> 00:37:22.100 align:middle line:84% The gun swung to Bob's head, and he dove 00:37:22.100 --> 00:37:23.990 align:middle line:90% just before it fired again. 00:37:23.990 --> 00:37:26.540 align:middle line:84% From under the Chevy bed he saw high heels heading fore, 00:37:26.540 --> 00:37:27.980 align:middle line:90% and he crawled aft. 00:37:27.980 --> 00:37:31.160 align:middle line:84% He heard another shot and shattering glass. 00:37:31.160 --> 00:37:32.870 align:middle line:84% The BIA cop from across the street 00:37:32.870 --> 00:37:35.840 align:middle line:84% called her off, cuffed her, and took her in. 00:37:35.840 --> 00:37:38.300 align:middle line:84% After her arrest, Bob set fire to the vacant lot 00:37:38.300 --> 00:37:40.310 align:middle line:90% behind the triplex. 00:37:40.310 --> 00:37:42.200 align:middle line:84% The flames leaped as high as the windows 00:37:42.200 --> 00:37:45.980 align:middle line:84% before kids smothered them with blankets and hoses. 00:37:45.980 --> 00:37:48.710 align:middle line:84% 'I was burning her pictures,' Bob explained to the principal. 00:37:48.710 --> 00:37:52.460 align:middle line:84% 'The grass caught, and I said, oh, what the hell.' 00:37:52.460 --> 00:37:55.640 align:middle line:84% The principal said his contract would not be renewed, 00:37:55.640 --> 00:37:58.970 align:middle line:90% but Bob could say he'd resigned. 00:37:58.970 --> 00:38:01.610 align:middle line:84% As part of his severance, Bob negotiated an extension 00:38:01.610 --> 00:38:04.340 align:middle line:84% that included building maintenance over the summer. 00:38:04.340 --> 00:38:06.440 align:middle line:84% For 4th of July he drove a group of kids 00:38:06.440 --> 00:38:08.930 align:middle line:84% 30 miles up a twisty dirt road into the mountains 00:38:08.930 --> 00:38:10.970 align:middle line:90% to an ice cave. 00:38:10.970 --> 00:38:13.430 align:middle line:84% They stepped into the mouth, sliding immediately 00:38:13.430 --> 00:38:17.900 align:middle line:84% on the slick, gelid floor, lumps of ice reared like ghosts. 00:38:17.900 --> 00:38:22.430 align:middle line:84% 'Ho!' exclaimed Leonard 'Poochie' Runs Behind. 00:38:22.430 --> 00:38:25.640 align:middle line:84% 'Where Encino Man rises,' said his girlfriend. 00:38:25.640 --> 00:38:28.760 align:middle line:84% Despite the warning signs, Bob let them duck under the railing 00:38:28.760 --> 00:38:31.370 align:middle line:84% and explore the recesses hidden in darkness. 00:38:31.370 --> 00:38:34.700 align:middle line:84% Their voices fluttered past his head like bats. 00:38:34.700 --> 00:38:37.880 align:middle line:84% They seemed to be going far away from him. 00:38:37.880 --> 00:38:40.070 align:middle line:84% Afterward the kids were still stirred up, 00:38:40.070 --> 00:38:42.950 align:middle line:84% gathering wood for the fire back at the picnic grounds, 00:38:42.950 --> 00:38:45.450 align:middle line:84% or huddling in a slightly menacing knot around the boom 00:38:45.450 --> 00:38:46.820 align:middle line:90% box. 00:38:46.820 --> 00:38:48.800 align:middle line:84% Butterflies skipped through the pines. 00:38:48.800 --> 00:38:51.050 align:middle line:90% Bob poked sticks into the fire. 00:38:51.050 --> 00:38:56.140 align:middle line:84% The pot for corn was balanced at a rakish angle on two stones. 00:38:56.140 --> 00:38:57.770 align:middle line:90% 'Why are you quitting, Ice-T?' 00:38:57.770 --> 00:38:59.480 align:middle line:90% asked Poochie. 00:38:59.480 --> 00:39:02.450 align:middle line:84% Poochie had been famous for imitating two women arguing 00:39:02.450 --> 00:39:05.330 align:middle line:84% shrilly at Crow Fair, the performance including 00:39:05.330 --> 00:39:10.040 align:middle line:84% background powwow singing, until his voice had changed. 00:39:10.040 --> 00:39:13.460 align:middle line:84% He'd been suspended five weeks for bringing a .38 to school, 00:39:13.460 --> 00:39:15.740 align:middle line:84% then rallied and finished the year. 00:39:15.740 --> 00:39:19.100 align:middle line:84% But the guy who snitched, Poochie would kick his ass. 00:39:19.100 --> 00:39:21.530 align:middle line:90% Kick his ass, Poochie thought. 00:39:21.530 --> 00:39:23.570 align:middle line:84% He'd imagined ways of killing him. 00:39:23.570 --> 00:39:27.552 align:middle line:84% No one had found where Poochie had hidden the gun. 00:39:27.552 --> 00:39:29.510 align:middle line:84% 'How'd you like to be written up all the time?' 00:39:29.510 --> 00:39:31.480 align:middle line:90% Bob answered the question. 00:39:31.480 --> 00:39:33.357 align:middle line:84% 'That'd be about right,' Poochie said. 00:39:33.357 --> 00:39:35.690 align:middle line:84% 'I spent more time with the principal than you did,' Bob 00:39:35.690 --> 00:39:38.690 align:middle line:84% said. 'No, I gave this job two years, 00:39:38.690 --> 00:39:40.520 align:middle line:90% and it's not working out. 00:39:40.520 --> 00:39:42.860 align:middle line:84% A man reaches a point in life when he's got to make 00:39:42.860 --> 00:39:44.250 align:middle line:90% a change.' 00:39:44.250 --> 00:39:45.440 align:middle line:90% 'What are you going to do?' 00:39:45.440 --> 00:39:47.510 align:middle line:90% 'I don't know,' Bob said. 00:39:47.510 --> 00:39:49.970 align:middle line:84% But Poochie was no longer listening. 00:39:49.970 --> 00:39:54.380 align:middle line:84% A man reaches a point in life when he's got to make a change. 00:39:54.380 --> 00:39:56.930 align:middle line:84% The words rang in his head like a rock hitting him. 00:39:56.930 --> 00:39:58.340 align:middle line:90% Damn, he thought. 00:39:58.340 --> 00:40:00.170 align:middle line:90% He was going to shoot a guy? 00:40:00.170 --> 00:40:01.190 align:middle line:90% And then jail? 00:40:01.190 --> 00:40:03.210 align:middle line:84% And his dad was a low, weak bastard, 00:40:03.210 --> 00:40:06.200 align:middle line:84% but his mom needed her heart broken right now? 00:40:06.200 --> 00:40:09.330 align:middle line:84% Poochie looked down the slopes at the lodgepole trunks half 00:40:09.330 --> 00:40:12.690 align:middle line:84% lit, half in shade, and the white clouds springing up 00:40:12.690 --> 00:40:15.840 align:middle line:84% over the treetops, and the blue going on forever, 00:40:15.840 --> 00:40:17.490 align:middle line:90% and he broke a sweat. 00:40:17.490 --> 00:40:19.440 align:middle line:90% His chest felt caved in. 00:40:19.440 --> 00:40:22.740 align:middle line:84% Dump the gun, dump the sucker fast, he thought. 00:40:22.740 --> 00:40:26.100 align:middle line:84% Sink it in the creek, easy, done. 00:40:26.100 --> 00:40:28.080 align:middle line:90% Already his breath opened wider. 00:40:28.080 --> 00:40:30.840 align:middle line:90% Damn, damn. 00:40:30.840 --> 00:40:32.460 align:middle line:84% A message could come from anywhere, 00:40:32.460 --> 00:40:34.260 align:middle line:84% and this one had come from Ice-T, 00:40:34.260 --> 00:40:36.030 align:middle line:84% an old guy who had lived through a lot 00:40:36.030 --> 00:40:38.100 align:middle line:90% and was still in there kicking. 00:40:38.100 --> 00:40:39.570 align:middle line:90% Poochie was in awe of the man. 00:40:39.570 --> 00:40:43.050 align:middle line:84% He looked at him with such love, and he could not speak. 00:40:43.050 --> 00:40:44.820 align:middle line:84% Everyone was stuffed with hot dogs. 00:40:44.820 --> 00:40:47.520 align:middle line:84% After all his hassle boiling the corn, Bob Weiss thought, 00:40:47.520 --> 00:40:50.440 align:middle line:90% nobody wanted to eat it." 00:40:50.440 --> 00:40:52.890 align:middle line:90% [APPLAUSE] 00:40:52.890 --> 00:41:05.140 align:middle line:90% 00:41:05.140 --> 00:41:06.535 align:middle line:90% Thank you, Kit. 00:41:06.535 --> 00:41:08.660 align:middle line:84% And thank you to all of you for being here tonight. 00:41:08.660 --> 00:41:12.227 align:middle line:84% I really appreciate your coming out. 00:41:12.227 --> 00:41:13.810 align:middle line:84% I should just acknowledge a few people 00:41:13.810 --> 00:41:17.770 align:middle line:84% who are particularly special to me in this audience. 00:41:17.770 --> 00:41:20.590 align:middle line:84% My very first freshman composition teacher 00:41:20.590 --> 00:41:22.560 align:middle line:90% is here, Nancy Wall. 00:41:22.560 --> 00:41:24.350 align:middle line:90% [APPLAUSE] 00:41:24.350 --> 00:41:25.829 align:middle line:90% 00:41:25.829 --> 00:41:29.280 align:middle line:90% She opened the doors for me. 00:41:29.280 --> 00:41:30.850 align:middle line:84% She sent me to the Poetry Center, 00:41:30.850 --> 00:41:33.310 align:middle line:84% back when it was the two little cottages. 00:41:33.310 --> 00:41:36.340 align:middle line:84% And she made sure that we went there frequently, 00:41:36.340 --> 00:41:38.920 align:middle line:84% Mark Doty and I, and the other students in that class. 00:41:38.920 --> 00:41:39.820 align:middle line:90% Can you imagine that? 00:41:39.820 --> 00:41:40.840 align:middle line:90% It's a tribute to the class. 00:41:40.840 --> 00:41:43.000 align:middle line:84% And thank you to members of my family who are here, 00:41:43.000 --> 00:41:47.420 align:middle line:84% and to the members of Janice Dewey's Honors class 00:41:47.420 --> 00:41:48.670 align:middle line:90% that I talked to this morning. 00:41:48.670 --> 00:41:49.840 align:middle line:90% I'm glad you're here. 00:41:49.840 --> 00:41:54.320 align:middle line:84% And it's really good to see Janice and Dave from Phoenix. 00:41:54.320 --> 00:41:56.890 align:middle line:90% I didn't expect it. 00:41:56.890 --> 00:41:58.690 align:middle line:84% In Fairbanks, Alaska, my husband Joe and I 00:41:58.690 --> 00:42:01.060 align:middle line:84% live on the banks of the Chena River. 00:42:01.060 --> 00:42:05.620 align:middle line:84% Across the river is a barrier of birch, and aspen, and alders, 00:42:05.620 --> 00:42:08.860 align:middle line:84% where we get to see beavers playing, and moose sometimes, 00:42:08.860 --> 00:42:10.750 align:middle line:90% and a fox now and then. 00:42:10.750 --> 00:42:14.580 align:middle line:84% But beyond that barrier of trees is an Army post. 00:42:14.580 --> 00:42:17.350 align:middle line:84% 3,400 of our neighbors went to Iraq, 00:42:17.350 --> 00:42:20.470 align:middle line:90% and not all 3,400 came home. 00:42:20.470 --> 00:42:22.570 align:middle line:84% I started thinking about the kid-- 00:42:22.570 --> 00:42:25.180 align:middle line:84% and they're almost all still very young-- 00:42:25.180 --> 00:42:28.510 align:middle line:84% the kid who has to play "Taps" for all those soldiers. 00:42:28.510 --> 00:42:30.880 align:middle line:84% This is called "Bugler, Fort Wainwright, Alaska." 00:42:30.880 --> 00:42:33.480 align:middle line:90% 00:42:33.480 --> 00:42:35.940 align:middle line:90% "Yellow leaves in July. 00:42:35.940 --> 00:42:37.320 align:middle line:90% Damn. 00:42:37.320 --> 00:42:40.260 align:middle line:84% A single osprey banks over birches, 00:42:40.260 --> 00:42:43.770 align:middle line:90% cruises up river and down. 00:42:43.770 --> 00:42:47.010 align:middle line:84% Birch bark splits like the lip of the bugler hitting 00:42:47.010 --> 00:42:49.950 align:middle line:84% a high note the morning after Tiffany, 00:42:49.950 --> 00:42:53.760 align:middle line:84% with a tongue like a mouth full of tadpoles and a hard hat 00:42:53.760 --> 00:42:56.650 align:middle line:90% she neglected to mention. 00:42:56.650 --> 00:42:59.020 align:middle line:90% Gashed knuckles. 00:42:59.020 --> 00:43:02.200 align:middle line:84% He pictures a nicotine chip, his tooth 00:43:02.200 --> 00:43:07.300 align:middle line:84% stuck in an itchy keloid baptized with blood. 00:43:07.300 --> 00:43:10.210 align:middle line:84% No field worker with a short-handled hoe 00:43:10.210 --> 00:43:15.010 align:middle line:84% ever had a back that hurt this bad, each vertebra burnished 00:43:15.010 --> 00:43:19.870 align:middle line:84% by fire, each bone a glowing coal, ruby 00:43:19.870 --> 00:43:23.920 align:middle line:90% spine searing inside him. 00:43:23.920 --> 00:43:31.660 align:middle line:84% His breath sinks in and in and in, shriek held back. 00:43:31.660 --> 00:43:35.630 align:middle line:84% Forced through pain, forced through brass, 00:43:35.630 --> 00:43:45.058 align:middle line:84% his pain ices over echoed notes of 'Taps.'" 00:43:45.058 --> 00:43:46.850 align:middle line:84% And that's because this is a poetry center, 00:43:46.850 --> 00:43:49.630 align:middle line:84% so I had to read at least one poem. 00:43:49.630 --> 00:43:52.130 align:middle line:84% But mostly I'm going to read from a new book that turned out 00:43:52.130 --> 00:43:54.982 align:middle line:84% to be-- who would have guessed-- nonfiction. 00:43:54.982 --> 00:43:56.690 align:middle line:84% It turned out to be nonfiction, because I 00:43:56.690 --> 00:43:58.007 align:middle line:90% didn't know what I was doing. 00:43:58.007 --> 00:43:59.840 align:middle line:84% And I didn't know what I was doing because I 00:43:59.840 --> 00:44:01.760 align:middle line:90% was in a really bad wreck. 00:44:01.760 --> 00:44:04.100 align:middle line:84% My husband and I were riding bicycles, 00:44:04.100 --> 00:44:07.400 align:middle line:84% minding our own business, on a bike path in Fairbanks, Alaska. 00:44:07.400 --> 00:44:11.180 align:middle line:84% And a kid on a four-wheel ATV came around a blind curve 00:44:11.180 --> 00:44:13.550 align:middle line:90% and smashed into us. 00:44:13.550 --> 00:44:17.580 align:middle line:84% Joe's front tire hit the suspension and crushed rim 00:44:17.580 --> 00:44:18.080 align:middle line:90% to hub. 00:44:18.080 --> 00:44:19.163 align:middle line:90% He flew over the kid. 00:44:19.163 --> 00:44:21.830 align:middle line:84% And I can't really tell you what happened to me, because I don't 00:44:21.830 --> 00:44:23.880 align:middle line:90% have memory of the accident. 00:44:23.880 --> 00:44:28.472 align:middle line:84% So when I recovered enough to be able to breathe on my own, 00:44:28.472 --> 00:44:29.930 align:middle line:84% I went from being pretty stubbornly 00:44:29.930 --> 00:44:32.040 align:middle line:84% independent to needing help with everything, 00:44:32.040 --> 00:44:33.680 align:middle line:90% including breathing. 00:44:33.680 --> 00:44:36.390 align:middle line:84% When I could breathe again, and when I could hold a pen, 00:44:36.390 --> 00:44:38.370 align:middle line:84% and when I could see clearly enough-- thanks, 00:44:38.370 --> 00:44:41.000 align:middle line:90% Anna, for helping me see. 00:44:41.000 --> 00:44:43.580 align:middle line:84% When I could see, I started wanting 00:44:43.580 --> 00:44:45.620 align:middle line:84% to write my way out of this, toward a life 00:44:45.620 --> 00:44:47.570 align:middle line:84% that I might possibly want to lead. 00:44:47.570 --> 00:44:49.963 align:middle line:84% And I started writing these little things. 00:44:49.963 --> 00:44:51.380 align:middle line:84% But I didn't call them nonfiction. 00:44:51.380 --> 00:44:52.850 align:middle line:84% I certainly didn't call them a memoir. 00:44:52.850 --> 00:44:54.320 align:middle line:84% I didn't think of them as a book. 00:44:54.320 --> 00:44:58.650 align:middle line:84% They were just things, and they turned into the book. 00:44:58.650 --> 00:45:01.780 align:middle line:90% So-- whoops. 00:45:01.780 --> 00:45:03.009 align:middle line:90% So I'll start with one. 00:45:03.009 --> 00:45:08.567 align:middle line:90% 00:45:08.567 --> 00:45:09.900 align:middle line:90% This is an interesting question. 00:45:09.900 --> 00:45:12.358 align:middle line:84% When you're writing a memoir, and your memory is completely 00:45:12.358 --> 00:45:16.205 align:middle line:84% screwed up, flawed, filled with holes, damaged, unreliable, 00:45:16.205 --> 00:45:16.830 align:middle line:90% what do you do? 00:45:16.830 --> 00:45:19.380 align:middle line:84% So here's a rhetorical way to solve the problem. 00:45:19.380 --> 00:45:22.380 align:middle line:84% "What comes next, I learned from Joe, again and again." 00:45:22.380 --> 00:45:24.060 align:middle line:90% See, easy rhetorical solution. 00:45:24.060 --> 00:45:27.840 align:middle line:84% "What comes next I learned from Joe, again and again. 00:45:27.840 --> 00:45:31.200 align:middle line:84% Around the blind curve comes a kid screaming illegally down 00:45:31.200 --> 00:45:34.350 align:middle line:84% the bike path on his four-wheel ATV. 00:45:34.350 --> 00:45:37.020 align:middle line:90% Joe sees him, thinks, oh, man. 00:45:37.020 --> 00:45:38.910 align:middle line:90% This is going to hurt. 00:45:38.910 --> 00:45:41.760 align:middle line:84% The ATV's suspension catches Joe's front tire, 00:45:41.760 --> 00:45:44.640 align:middle line:84% crushing it rim to hub, twisting. 00:45:44.640 --> 00:45:47.520 align:middle line:84% Joe flies over his handlebars, over the kid 00:45:47.520 --> 00:45:51.850 align:middle line:84% in the four-wheeler, lands on his knees on the path. 00:45:51.850 --> 00:45:54.030 align:middle line:90% It wasn't so bad, Joe thinks. 00:45:54.030 --> 00:45:56.670 align:middle line:84% He jumps up, cursing the dumb son-of-a-bitch and runs 00:45:56.670 --> 00:45:58.320 align:middle line:90% to where I'm lying. 00:45:58.320 --> 00:46:01.860 align:middle line:84% I'm curled on my side, back to the concrete. 00:46:01.860 --> 00:46:05.790 align:middle line:84% Both sides of my helmet are gouged and scraped. 00:46:05.790 --> 00:46:09.540 align:middle line:84% My right knee bleeds around embedded gravel. 00:46:09.540 --> 00:46:13.320 align:middle line:84% A little trickle of blood leaks from my lips. 00:46:13.320 --> 00:46:17.520 align:middle line:84% Joe tries to get some response, but I'm out. 00:46:17.520 --> 00:46:20.820 align:middle line:84% Witnesses stop right away and call 9-1-1. 00:46:20.820 --> 00:46:24.360 align:middle line:84% A man leaps the fence and holds my head. 00:46:24.360 --> 00:46:26.920 align:middle line:84% The ambulance can't drive all the way to where we are, 00:46:26.920 --> 00:46:29.640 align:middle line:84% so it eases out across the gravel. 00:46:29.640 --> 00:46:32.280 align:middle line:90% Then paramedics have to hoof it. 00:46:32.280 --> 00:46:36.810 align:middle line:84% Two people hold my head still as they strap me to a backboard. 00:46:36.810 --> 00:46:40.620 align:middle line:84% I open one eye, but the sun's too bright. 00:46:40.620 --> 00:46:44.490 align:middle line:84% While he talks to police, Joe watches paramedics tending me. 00:46:44.490 --> 00:46:47.430 align:middle line:84% He sees that they're heading for the ambulance. 00:46:47.430 --> 00:46:51.570 align:middle line:84% He tries to run to keep up and feels his back seize. 00:46:51.570 --> 00:46:54.340 align:middle line:90% 00:46:54.340 --> 00:47:00.400 align:middle line:84% I'm under a door, covered with sandbags, muddy waters rising. 00:47:00.400 --> 00:47:03.940 align:middle line:90% My hips sink deeper into muck. 00:47:03.940 --> 00:47:07.840 align:middle line:84% I can't open my eyes until I know what's in this water. 00:47:07.840 --> 00:47:11.590 align:middle line:84% The weight crushing my chest grows heavier. 00:47:11.590 --> 00:47:13.750 align:middle line:90% Am I wearing armor? 00:47:13.750 --> 00:47:16.240 align:middle line:84% My lungs fill with wet concrete." 00:47:16.240 --> 00:47:19.110 align:middle line:90% 00:47:19.110 --> 00:47:21.900 align:middle line:84% OK, on that cheery note, I'll just tell you, 00:47:21.900 --> 00:47:23.400 align:middle line:84% this became an opportunity to write, 00:47:23.400 --> 00:47:27.120 align:middle line:84% not just about the accident and trying to piece together 00:47:27.120 --> 00:47:30.720 align:middle line:84% what happened there, but I began to write about my early life. 00:47:30.720 --> 00:47:33.598 align:middle line:84% And I began to write about my ancestors, 00:47:33.598 --> 00:47:35.640 align:middle line:84% and about stories that have been entrusted to me, 00:47:35.640 --> 00:47:36.480 align:middle line:90% handed down to me. 00:47:36.480 --> 00:47:39.000 align:middle line:84% So I'll read you a little piece of that. 00:47:39.000 --> 00:47:43.740 align:middle line:84% My maternal grandfather was a Norwegian immigrant, 00:47:43.740 --> 00:47:47.940 align:middle line:84% and here's a little bit called "Dovetails." 00:47:47.940 --> 00:47:51.900 align:middle line:84% "My grandfather, John Moen, never forgave his own father. 00:47:51.900 --> 00:47:55.590 align:middle line:84% His mother, Hanna Loften, died young. 00:47:55.590 --> 00:47:57.390 align:middle line:90% Not in childbirth. 00:47:57.390 --> 00:47:59.730 align:middle line:90% Not from malnutrition. 00:47:59.730 --> 00:48:01.710 align:middle line:84% She had what in those days, people 00:48:01.710 --> 00:48:05.010 align:middle line:90% called "female troubles." 00:48:05.010 --> 00:48:07.170 align:middle line:84% Her husband, paying off his passage, 00:48:07.170 --> 00:48:09.900 align:middle line:90% refused to call the doctor. 00:48:09.900 --> 00:48:13.980 align:middle line:84% Hanna grew so weak, a neighbor offered to take her to town. 00:48:13.980 --> 00:48:16.260 align:middle line:84% 'It'll be too much for her, I think.' 00:48:16.260 --> 00:48:18.180 align:middle line:90% Engebret said. 00:48:18.180 --> 00:48:19.740 align:middle line:90% End of subject. 00:48:19.740 --> 00:48:21.900 align:middle line:90% End of Hanna. 00:48:21.900 --> 00:48:25.950 align:middle line:84% John watched his mother suffer, watched her yellow, 00:48:25.950 --> 00:48:28.530 align:middle line:90% watched her writhe. 00:48:28.530 --> 00:48:32.870 align:middle line:84% He snuck in a midwife when his father was out of sight. 00:48:32.870 --> 00:48:34.610 align:middle line:90% She's in a bad way, son. 00:48:34.610 --> 00:48:37.010 align:middle line:90% You need to get her to town. 00:48:37.010 --> 00:48:38.930 align:middle line:84% The woman might as well have said, 00:48:38.930 --> 00:48:41.760 align:middle line:90% you need to get her to the moon. 00:48:41.760 --> 00:48:43.820 align:middle line:90% He made his mother tea. 00:48:43.820 --> 00:48:48.080 align:middle line:84% He held her head when she leaned over the edge of the bed. 00:48:48.080 --> 00:48:51.830 align:middle line:84% He planed the boards, fit the dovetails tight." 00:48:51.830 --> 00:49:00.330 align:middle line:90% 00:49:00.330 --> 00:49:03.310 align:middle line:84% My parents were teenagers when they got married, 00:49:03.310 --> 00:49:06.100 align:middle line:90% teenagers when they got me. 00:49:06.100 --> 00:49:08.760 align:middle line:84% And so I decided to write about the moment of their wedding. 00:49:08.760 --> 00:49:11.400 align:middle line:84% I was present, but I was in utero, so as you might imagine, 00:49:11.400 --> 00:49:14.810 align:middle line:84% my memories of it are a little hazy. 00:49:14.810 --> 00:49:15.310 align:middle line:90% Let's see. 00:49:15.310 --> 00:49:17.370 align:middle line:84% Oh, there's a theme that runs through the book-- actually 00:49:17.370 --> 00:49:17.940 align:middle line:90% motif. 00:49:17.940 --> 00:49:20.190 align:middle line:84% "My Father's Wives, Number One," "My Father's 00:49:20.190 --> 00:49:22.820 align:middle line:84% Wives, Number Two," "My Father's Wives, Number Three," 00:49:22.820 --> 00:49:24.480 align:middle line:84% so I'll read you probably One and Two. 00:49:24.480 --> 00:49:27.630 align:middle line:90% "My Father's Wives, Number One." 00:49:27.630 --> 00:49:29.790 align:middle line:84% "In lust with the whole world, my parents 00:49:29.790 --> 00:49:31.950 align:middle line:90% squirmed out of their clothes. 00:49:31.950 --> 00:49:35.280 align:middle line:84% Their teenage bodies crashed magnificently against one 00:49:35.280 --> 00:49:39.960 align:middle line:84% another, surf undercutting the cliff where they lay. 00:49:39.960 --> 00:49:45.000 align:middle line:84% Sex was clumsy, new, unbelievable. 00:49:45.000 --> 00:49:48.690 align:middle line:84% They went at it as if they just invented it. 00:49:48.690 --> 00:49:53.100 align:middle line:84% They went together, like beach sand in an open coffin. 00:49:53.100 --> 00:49:55.980 align:middle line:84% They only married because I was on the way. 00:49:55.980 --> 00:49:58.230 align:middle line:90% I figured that out early. 00:49:58.230 --> 00:50:01.620 align:middle line:84% They drove to Yuma, where a new batch of crickets writhed, 00:50:01.620 --> 00:50:05.610 align:middle line:84% a jumpy carpet, tobacco juice brown. 00:50:05.610 --> 00:50:10.050 align:middle line:84% My father's footsteps crunched and slid. 00:50:10.050 --> 00:50:12.120 align:middle line:84% Their witness, Aunt Annalise, was 00:50:12.120 --> 00:50:15.630 align:middle line:84% wearing new shoes, chunky, white platform heels, 00:50:15.630 --> 00:50:19.500 align:middle line:84% with eyelet cutouts, showing her nylons. 00:50:19.500 --> 00:50:21.787 align:middle line:84% She didn't want to get out of the car. 00:50:21.787 --> 00:50:24.120 align:middle line:84% 'What do you think, they'll crawl up and get your woolly 00:50:24.120 --> 00:50:25.200 align:middle line:90% booger?' 00:50:25.200 --> 00:50:27.600 align:middle line:90% Uncle Don poked at her. 00:50:27.600 --> 00:50:31.260 align:middle line:84% The four of them woke up the Justice of the Peace. 00:50:31.260 --> 00:50:34.770 align:middle line:84% When the parents' screams pierced another midnight, 00:50:34.770 --> 00:50:37.290 align:middle line:90% my stomach clenched. 00:50:37.290 --> 00:50:39.330 align:middle line:90% All my fault, their misery." 00:50:39.330 --> 00:50:47.280 align:middle line:90% 00:50:47.280 --> 00:50:49.440 align:middle line:84% "Mother's First Words After the Birth." 00:50:49.440 --> 00:50:51.600 align:middle line:84% They're in quotation marks, because I read this 00:50:51.600 --> 00:50:53.400 align:middle line:84% in my own baby book, if you can believe it, 00:50:53.400 --> 00:50:55.230 align:middle line:90% the last line of this piece. 00:50:55.230 --> 00:50:59.280 align:middle line:84% "Mother's First Words After the Birth." 00:50:59.280 --> 00:51:02.490 align:middle line:84% "Because I was their first, no one listened when 00:51:02.490 --> 00:51:04.470 align:middle line:90% my mother cried, 'It's time. 00:51:04.470 --> 00:51:10.320 align:middle line:84% It's coming.' The nurses patted her hand, crossed their legs. 00:51:10.320 --> 00:51:14.110 align:middle line:84% 'We'll tell you, honey, when it's getting close.' 00:51:14.110 --> 00:51:17.460 align:middle line:84% So I was almost born between floors, my mother clamping 00:51:17.460 --> 00:51:20.820 align:middle line:84% shut her thighs, some panicky orderly pinning 00:51:20.820 --> 00:51:24.060 align:middle line:90% her shoulders to the gurney. 00:51:24.060 --> 00:51:27.870 align:middle line:84% My father, a lanky teenager dreaming of a Shovelhead Harley 00:51:27.870 --> 00:51:31.920 align:middle line:90% with a suicide clutch, paced. 00:51:31.920 --> 00:51:34.800 align:middle line:84% When we were mopped up, presentable, he 00:51:34.800 --> 00:51:39.540 align:middle line:84% slouched in, reached, afraid to touch my mother's flattened, 00:51:39.540 --> 00:51:42.480 align:middle line:90% baby-fine hair. 00:51:42.480 --> 00:51:49.580 align:middle line:84% His hands felt enormous, charming, full of forgiveness. 00:51:49.580 --> 00:51:54.740 align:middle line:84% Face to the wall, my mother spoke from far away. 00:51:54.740 --> 00:51:59.792 align:middle line:84% 'I'm sorry it isn't a boy for you, honey.'" Eek. 00:51:59.792 --> 00:52:02.130 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHTER] 00:52:02.130 --> 00:52:04.960 align:middle line:90% 00:52:04.960 --> 00:52:07.570 align:middle line:84% Sometimes there are historical events 00:52:07.570 --> 00:52:11.590 align:middle line:84% that show up in this book, but they're usually intertwined 00:52:11.590 --> 00:52:13.245 align:middle line:90% with personal events. 00:52:13.245 --> 00:52:14.620 align:middle line:84% And of course, because of my age, 00:52:14.620 --> 00:52:16.453 align:middle line:84% the events are things like the Cuban Missile 00:52:16.453 --> 00:52:19.270 align:middle line:84% Crisis, and the assassination of Kennedy, 00:52:19.270 --> 00:52:22.060 align:middle line:84% and of Martin Luther King, and of Bobby Kennedy, 00:52:22.060 --> 00:52:23.540 align:middle line:90% and the Moon walk. 00:52:23.540 --> 00:52:25.630 align:middle line:84% So I'll read you the one about the Moon walk, 00:52:25.630 --> 00:52:30.670 align:middle line:84% but it's part of "My Father's Wives, Number Two." 00:52:30.670 --> 00:52:33.850 align:middle line:84% "After the divorce, things slid downhill fast. 00:52:33.850 --> 00:52:38.230 align:middle line:84% Our whole household was an arroyo collapsing in on itself. 00:52:38.230 --> 00:52:40.480 align:middle line:84% Dad married Crazy Marcia, a bottle 00:52:40.480 --> 00:52:45.400 align:middle line:84% blonde with a serious affection for prescription painkillers. 00:52:45.400 --> 00:52:48.700 align:middle line:84% We nicknamed her daughters for their passions, 00:52:48.700 --> 00:52:51.730 align:middle line:84% the Nympho, the Pyro, the Klepto. 00:52:51.730 --> 00:52:55.510 align:middle line:90% 00:52:55.510 --> 00:53:00.610 align:middle line:84% Eating an orange--" Well, sorry, it's what we called them. 00:53:00.610 --> 00:53:03.610 align:middle line:84% "Eating an orange at Marcia's house was a project. 00:53:03.610 --> 00:53:05.650 align:middle line:90% First, we'd post a sentry. 00:53:05.650 --> 00:53:07.060 align:middle line:84% Then one kid would lift an orange 00:53:07.060 --> 00:53:08.980 align:middle line:90% from the bowl on the table. 00:53:08.980 --> 00:53:11.950 align:middle line:84% That kid would walk fast into the bathroom. 00:53:11.950 --> 00:53:15.460 align:middle line:84% Everybody who wanted in on it came into the bathroom, too. 00:53:15.460 --> 00:53:19.480 align:middle line:84% We'd peel the fruit, divide the sections exactly evenly. 00:53:19.480 --> 00:53:21.175 align:middle line:90% You cut, and I choose. 00:53:21.175 --> 00:53:23.860 align:middle line:90% 00:53:23.860 --> 00:53:26.980 align:middle line:84% Then swallow the fruit, almost without chewing. 00:53:26.980 --> 00:53:30.430 align:middle line:84% We washed our hands and faces, brushed our teeth. 00:53:30.430 --> 00:53:34.390 align:middle line:84% We flushed the orange peels, wiped the counter. 00:53:34.390 --> 00:53:37.030 align:middle line:84% When Marcia came out of her room in the late afternoon, 00:53:37.030 --> 00:53:39.940 align:middle line:84% she'd know right away that something had changed. 00:53:39.940 --> 00:53:43.330 align:middle line:84% She'd count and count the oranges. 00:53:43.330 --> 00:53:44.200 align:middle line:90% Eight. 00:53:44.200 --> 00:53:46.120 align:middle line:90% There should be eight. 00:53:46.120 --> 00:53:47.560 align:middle line:90% Seven, we'd say. 00:53:47.560 --> 00:53:49.390 align:middle line:84% This time you bought lucky seven, remember? 00:53:49.390 --> 00:53:52.000 align:middle line:90% 00:53:52.000 --> 00:53:54.370 align:middle line:84% The day of the Moon walk, I had a date. 00:53:54.370 --> 00:53:56.920 align:middle line:84% Chuck Quimby came early to pick me up. 00:53:56.920 --> 00:53:58.420 align:middle line:84% We couldn't leave the house, though, 00:53:58.420 --> 00:54:00.910 align:middle line:90% because Marcia had an episode. 00:54:00.910 --> 00:54:04.000 align:middle line:84% She'd plucked out every hair in both eyebrows 00:54:04.000 --> 00:54:06.700 align:middle line:84% and held a stencil high across her forehead 00:54:06.700 --> 00:54:08.710 align:middle line:90% to pencil in new ones. 00:54:08.710 --> 00:54:10.720 align:middle line:90% She couldn't get them right. 00:54:10.720 --> 00:54:11.830 align:middle line:90% Couldn't. 00:54:11.830 --> 00:54:14.080 align:middle line:90% Her hands wouldn't cooperate. 00:54:14.080 --> 00:54:18.440 align:middle line:84% Irritation slid into hysteria, and Marcia got clingy. 00:54:18.440 --> 00:54:21.850 align:middle line:84% I pictured techniques they taught in junior life-saving, 00:54:21.850 --> 00:54:26.020 align:middle line:84% the ways to keep a panicked swimmer from drowning you, too. 00:54:26.020 --> 00:54:29.800 align:middle line:84% We erased the jagged arches over her perplexed eyes. 00:54:29.800 --> 00:54:32.440 align:middle line:90% We fed her crushed ice. 00:54:32.440 --> 00:54:36.910 align:middle line:84% Her face, old and sallow, sank in on itself. 00:54:36.910 --> 00:54:40.480 align:middle line:84% She looked powdery, like the surface of the Moon, 00:54:40.480 --> 00:54:44.200 align:middle line:90% marked by boots, by men. 00:54:44.200 --> 00:54:46.540 align:middle line:90% Finally she slept. 00:54:46.540 --> 00:54:49.313 align:middle line:90% One small step for man." 00:54:49.313 --> 00:54:51.285 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHTER] 00:54:51.285 --> 00:54:58.700 align:middle line:90% 00:54:58.700 --> 00:55:00.910 align:middle line:90% So let's see. 00:55:00.910 --> 00:55:02.530 align:middle line:84% Just a little bit more, because you've 00:55:02.530 --> 00:55:06.460 align:middle line:84% been sitting still an awfully long time, and I appreciate it. 00:55:06.460 --> 00:55:12.670 align:middle line:90% So maybe-- I know. 00:55:12.670 --> 00:55:14.980 align:middle line:90% I don't know what page it is. 00:55:14.980 --> 00:55:23.470 align:middle line:90% 00:55:23.470 --> 00:55:25.831 align:middle line:84% Sorry, there's one I was going to read but-- 00:55:25.831 --> 00:55:28.060 align:middle line:90% it's on this page. 00:55:28.060 --> 00:55:32.000 align:middle line:84% It's a new enough book, so I don't know where everything is. 00:55:32.000 --> 00:55:34.260 align:middle line:90% There it is, 61. 00:55:34.260 --> 00:55:37.085 align:middle line:84% And I marked too many places, so I can't find anything. 00:55:37.085 --> 00:55:38.510 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHTER] 00:55:38.510 --> 00:55:39.890 align:middle line:90% OK. 00:55:39.890 --> 00:55:43.520 align:middle line:84% When we were little kids, the social center 00:55:43.520 --> 00:55:45.560 align:middle line:84% of the neighborhood was the arroyo out back. 00:55:45.560 --> 00:55:47.420 align:middle line:84% And we were warned during flash flood season 00:55:47.420 --> 00:55:49.760 align:middle line:84% not to go down there, but we had to. 00:55:49.760 --> 00:55:53.090 align:middle line:90% And so this one comes from that. 00:55:53.090 --> 00:55:54.140 align:middle line:90% "Moving Water, Tucson." 00:55:54.140 --> 00:55:57.020 align:middle line:90% 00:55:57.020 --> 00:56:01.400 align:middle line:84% "Thunderclouds gathered every afternoon during the monsoons. 00:56:01.400 --> 00:56:04.130 align:middle line:84% Warm rain felt good on faces lifted 00:56:04.130 --> 00:56:06.920 align:middle line:90% to lick water from the sky. 00:56:06.920 --> 00:56:09.230 align:middle line:84% We played outside, having sense enough to go out 00:56:09.230 --> 00:56:11.510 align:middle line:90% and revel in the rain. 00:56:11.510 --> 00:56:16.250 align:middle line:84% We savored the first cool hours since summer hit. 00:56:16.250 --> 00:56:20.240 align:middle line:84% The arroyo behind our house trickled with moving water. 00:56:20.240 --> 00:56:23.360 align:middle line:84% Kids gathered to see what it might bring. 00:56:23.360 --> 00:56:28.970 align:middle line:84% Tumbleweed, spears of ocotillo, creosote, a doll's arm, 00:56:28.970 --> 00:56:31.280 align:middle line:90% some kid's fort. 00:56:31.280 --> 00:56:34.520 align:middle line:90% Broken bottles, a red sweater. 00:56:34.520 --> 00:56:38.360 align:middle line:84% Whatever was nailed down, torn loose. 00:56:38.360 --> 00:56:40.460 align:middle line:84% We stood on edges of sand, waiting 00:56:40.460 --> 00:56:42.860 align:middle line:90% for brown walls of water. 00:56:42.860 --> 00:56:47.150 align:middle line:84% We could hear it, massive water, not far off. 00:56:47.150 --> 00:56:49.430 align:middle line:84% The whole desert might come apart at once, 00:56:49.430 --> 00:56:51.650 align:middle line:84% might send horny toads and Gila monsters 00:56:51.650 --> 00:56:56.030 align:middle line:84% swirling, wet nightmares clawing both banks and the worst they 00:56:56.030 --> 00:56:59.570 align:middle line:90% could imagine and then some. 00:56:59.570 --> 00:57:01.850 align:middle line:84% Under sheet lightning cracking the sky, 00:57:01.850 --> 00:57:03.830 align:middle line:84% somebody's teenage brother decided 00:57:03.830 --> 00:57:06.510 align:middle line:90% to ride the flash flood. 00:57:06.510 --> 00:57:09.680 align:middle line:84% He stood on wood at the bottom of the ditch, 00:57:09.680 --> 00:57:12.530 align:middle line:90% straddling the puny stream. 00:57:12.530 --> 00:57:13.340 align:middle line:90% 'Get out! 00:57:13.340 --> 00:57:15.080 align:middle line:90% It's coming,' kids yelled. 00:57:15.080 --> 00:57:18.200 align:middle line:90% 'Get out,' we yelled. 00:57:18.200 --> 00:57:21.065 align:middle line:84% The kid bent his knees, held out his arms. 00:57:21.065 --> 00:57:23.650 align:middle line:90% 00:57:23.650 --> 00:57:25.300 align:middle line:90% Land turned liquid that fast. 00:57:25.300 --> 00:57:27.280 align:middle line:84% Water yanked our feet, stole our thongs, 00:57:27.280 --> 00:57:29.170 align:middle line:84% pulled in the edges of the arroyo, 00:57:29.170 --> 00:57:32.020 align:middle line:84% dragged whole trees, root wads and all along. 00:57:32.020 --> 00:57:34.240 align:middle line:84% Battering rams thrust down stream. 00:57:34.240 --> 00:57:36.130 align:middle line:90% Anything you left there, gone. 00:57:36.130 --> 00:57:38.950 align:middle line:84% Anything you're meant to go back and get, history. 00:57:38.950 --> 00:57:41.380 align:middle line:84% Water so high you couldn't touch bottom. 00:57:41.380 --> 00:57:43.720 align:middle line:84% Water so fast you couldn't get out of it. 00:57:43.720 --> 00:57:46.510 align:middle line:84% Water so huge the earth couldn't take it. 00:57:46.510 --> 00:57:48.340 align:middle line:90% Water. 00:57:48.340 --> 00:57:50.200 align:middle line:90% We couldn't step back. 00:57:50.200 --> 00:57:54.460 align:middle line:84% We had to be there to see for ourselves. 00:57:54.460 --> 00:57:59.500 align:middle line:84% Water in a place where water is always holy. 00:57:59.500 --> 00:58:03.550 align:middle line:90% Water remaking the world. 00:58:03.550 --> 00:58:08.050 align:middle line:84% That kid on plywood, that kid waiting for the flood, 00:58:08.050 --> 00:58:11.410 align:middle line:84% he stood, and the water lifted him. 00:58:11.410 --> 00:58:15.340 align:middle line:84% He stood, his eyes not seeing us. 00:58:15.340 --> 00:58:18.100 align:middle line:84% For a moment we all wanted to be him, 00:58:18.100 --> 00:58:23.590 align:middle line:84% to be part of something so wet, so fast, so powerful, so much 00:58:23.590 --> 00:58:26.020 align:middle line:90% bigger than ourselves. 00:58:26.020 --> 00:58:31.120 align:middle line:84% That kid rode the flash flood inside us, the flash flood 00:58:31.120 --> 00:58:33.210 align:middle line:90% outside us. 00:58:33.210 --> 00:58:38.490 align:middle line:84% Artist unglued on a scrap of glued wood. 00:58:38.490 --> 00:58:42.390 align:middle line:84% For a few drenched seconds, he rode. 00:58:42.390 --> 00:58:46.350 align:middle line:84% The water took him faster than you can believe. 00:58:46.350 --> 00:58:48.180 align:middle line:90% He kept his head up. 00:58:48.180 --> 00:58:50.430 align:middle line:84% Water you couldn't see through, water 00:58:50.430 --> 00:58:55.110 align:middle line:90% half dirt, water whirling hard. 00:58:55.110 --> 00:58:57.840 align:middle line:84% Heavy rain weighed down our clothes. 00:58:57.840 --> 00:59:00.360 align:middle line:84% We stepped closer to the crumbling shore, 00:59:00.360 --> 00:59:04.410 align:middle line:84% saw him downstream smash against the footbridge 00:59:04.410 --> 00:59:07.140 align:middle line:90% at the end of the block. 00:59:07.140 --> 00:59:10.077 align:middle line:84% Water held him there, rushing on." 00:59:10.077 --> 00:59:13.420 align:middle line:90% 00:59:13.420 --> 00:59:15.645 align:middle line:84% And finally I'll take you to Día de los Muertos. 00:59:15.645 --> 00:59:17.020 align:middle line:84% It's really nice to be in a place 00:59:17.020 --> 00:59:19.040 align:middle line:84% where I don't have to explain Day of the Dead. 00:59:19.040 --> 00:59:32.928 align:middle line:90% 00:59:32.928 --> 00:59:34.720 align:middle line:84% Two little paragraphs, and then we're done. 00:59:34.720 --> 00:59:36.280 align:middle line:84% So before I've finished, I'd just 00:59:36.280 --> 00:59:38.560 align:middle line:84% like to say again, thank you all for being here. 00:59:38.560 --> 00:59:43.930 align:middle line:84% And it is such a treat to see this beautiful facility 00:59:43.930 --> 00:59:45.490 align:middle line:84% and to know that it's going to aid 00:59:45.490 --> 00:59:47.367 align:middle line:84% in the ongoing work of the Poetry Center. 00:59:47.367 --> 00:59:49.450 align:middle line:84% I was the first one in my family to go to college, 00:59:49.450 --> 00:59:52.075 align:middle line:84% and I was naive enough to think that every college had a Poetry 00:59:52.075 --> 00:59:52.930 align:middle line:90% Center. 00:59:52.930 --> 00:59:53.980 align:middle line:90% Ha, ha, ha, ha. 00:59:53.980 --> 00:59:56.260 align:middle line:84% And now I can say with complete confidence 00:59:56.260 --> 00:59:59.538 align:middle line:84% that this is a place that is unique in the world, 00:59:59.538 --> 01:00:00.580 align:middle line:90% not just in this country. 01:00:00.580 --> 01:00:01.622 align:middle line:90% It's unique in the world. 01:00:01.622 --> 01:00:05.020 align:middle line:84% And how fortunate we are to have a place that honors poetry here 01:00:05.020 --> 01:00:07.900 align:middle line:90% in Tucson. 01:00:07.900 --> 01:00:09.910 align:middle line:90% "Los Muertos." 01:00:09.910 --> 01:00:14.320 align:middle line:84% "On Día de los Muertos people set up altars to welcome back 01:00:14.320 --> 01:00:16.240 align:middle line:90% those who've gone before. 01:00:16.240 --> 01:00:18.160 align:middle line:84% In the Sonoran desert, where the dead 01:00:18.160 --> 01:00:22.090 align:middle line:84% are said to cherish fragrances, paths of marigolds 01:00:22.090 --> 01:00:25.180 align:middle line:84% help the ancestors find their way. 01:00:25.180 --> 01:00:27.490 align:middle line:90% It's not mournful at all. 01:00:27.490 --> 01:00:32.560 align:middle line:84% Music, singing, dancing, a candlelight vigil, 01:00:32.560 --> 01:00:35.320 align:middle line:90% huge spreads of food. 01:00:35.320 --> 01:00:38.380 align:middle line:84% After the dead have tasted their favorite dishes, 01:00:38.380 --> 01:00:43.030 align:middle line:84% living people feast on homemade tortillas hot off the comal. 01:00:43.030 --> 01:00:48.460 align:middle line:84% Husky tamales, meat, green corn, sweet. 01:00:48.460 --> 01:00:52.810 align:middle line:84% Skull-shaped candies, breads, cookies. 01:00:52.810 --> 01:00:56.170 align:middle line:90% The gritty bonedust of panocha. 01:00:56.170 --> 01:01:00.280 align:middle line:84% Saladitos turn every mouth into a watering hole. 01:01:00.280 --> 01:01:04.930 align:middle line:84% Fry bread starts out flat, then puffs in hot oil, 01:01:04.930 --> 01:01:09.130 align:middle line:90% its emptiness honeyed. 01:01:09.130 --> 01:01:12.880 align:middle line:84% On the altars, pictures of loved ones out of reach, 01:01:12.880 --> 01:01:17.260 align:middle line:84% loved ones forever the age they were when they left. 01:01:17.260 --> 01:01:19.150 align:middle line:90% Tokens of lives. 01:01:19.150 --> 01:01:24.360 align:middle line:84% A fishing lure, skate key, spurs, 01:01:24.360 --> 01:01:29.340 align:middle line:84% carved bate for frothing hot chocolate, pierced earrings, 01:01:29.340 --> 01:01:35.770 align:middle line:84% locket, dancing shoes size tiny, a lizard-skin cowboy boot 01:01:35.770 --> 01:01:38.590 align:middle line:90% planted with jumping cactus. 01:01:38.590 --> 01:01:42.550 align:middle line:90% Calavera candles flickering. 01:01:42.550 --> 01:01:47.360 align:middle line:84% Calacas, skeletons riding motorcycles, getting married, 01:01:47.360 --> 01:01:48.910 align:middle line:90% having babies. 01:01:48.910 --> 01:01:53.350 align:middle line:84% Skeletons at typewriters, skeletons on a roller coaster, 01:01:53.350 --> 01:01:57.010 align:middle line:84% skeletons playing billiards, every ball on the table 01:01:57.010 --> 01:01:58.300 align:middle line:90% a skull. 01:01:58.300 --> 01:02:02.410 align:middle line:84% Calacas riding horseback, their holsters flapping. 01:02:02.410 --> 01:02:08.320 align:middle line:84% Calacas playing cello and violin, the tune just 01:02:08.320 --> 01:02:11.480 align:middle line:90% beyond our hearing." 01:02:11.480 --> 01:02:12.460 align:middle line:90% Thank you. 01:02:12.460 --> 01:02:14.910 align:middle line:90% [APPLAUSE] 01:02:14.910 --> 01:02:27.160 align:middle line:90% 01:02:27.160 --> 01:02:28.580 align:middle line:90% Peggy, thank you. 01:02:28.580 --> 01:02:29.730 align:middle line:90% Kit, thank you. 01:02:29.730 --> 01:02:31.310 align:middle line:90% Spring, thank you. 01:02:31.310 --> 01:02:33.020 align:middle line:84% We're not at Modern Languages Auditorium, 01:02:33.020 --> 01:02:35.330 align:middle line:90% but we do have carrot cake. 01:02:35.330 --> 01:02:37.350 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHTER] 01:02:37.350 --> 01:02:40.160 align:middle line:84% Join us in the breezeway for conversation and dessert. 01:02:40.160 --> 01:02:41.360 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHTER] 01:02:41.360 --> 01:02:43.510 align:middle line:90% [APPLAUSE]