WEBVTT

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This is called "The Pitch."

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I used to put it on top
of all my submissions

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but nobody ever took
it, "The Pitch."

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It's the story of a
math genius posing

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as an imbecile or
the one where Porky

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is saved from the
slaughterhouse by a woman who

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wears no underpants.

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It's the story of a
rapacious weed that

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takes over the Earth, of
one-breasted Wanda falling

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in love with Jungle Jack.

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Ed Anger writes the story up.

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It's the story of a rash and
the story of a rash of deaths

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caused by a sea hag.

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It's a story of a woman who
could not open her mouth

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and a woman who could
not close her mouth.

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Maybe they meet.

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Maybe they don't.

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Maybe they are the
perfect couple.

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It is a story of a man
possessed by his tattoo.

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It's an exclusive.

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It's a curse or a commandment.

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It's a commandment
on cursing which

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says for God's sake thou
shalt not laze about

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on your chaise lounge.

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It's a true story.

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It is a story of a man
who talked his way out

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of credit card debt.

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It is a story of the
sunrise on July 10th, 2003.

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It is a story of a
traveling shadow.

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It is an
old-man-walking-down-the-road

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story.

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It has a sculpted base
to rest upon which

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can be yours if you act now.

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