This is called "The Pitch."
I used to put it on top of all my submissions
but nobody ever took it, "The Pitch."
It's the story of a math genius posing
as an imbecile or the one where Porky
is saved from the slaughterhouse by a woman who
wears no underpants.
It's the story of a rapacious weed that
takes over the Earth, of one-breasted Wanda falling
in love with Jungle Jack.
Ed Anger writes the story up.
It's the story of a rash and the story of a rash of deaths
caused by a sea hag.
It's a story of a woman who could not open her mouth
and a woman who could not close her mouth.
Maybe they meet.
Maybe they don't.
Maybe they are the perfect couple.
It is a story of a man possessed by his tattoo.
It's an exclusive.
It's a curse or a commandment.
It's a commandment on cursing which
says for God's sake thou shalt not laze about
on your chaise lounge.
It's a true story.
It is a story of a man who talked his way out
of credit card debt.
It is a story of the sunrise on July 10th, 2003.
It is a story of a traveling shadow.
It is an old-man-walking-down-the-road
story.
It has a sculpted base to rest upon which
can be yours if you act now.