WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:00.860 align:middle line:90% 00:00:00.860 --> 00:00:02.610 align:middle line:84% I know I haven't won an Oscar or anything, 00:00:02.610 --> 00:00:05.400 align:middle line:90% but I never thought I'd be here. 00:00:05.400 --> 00:00:07.539 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHTER] 00:00:07.539 --> 00:00:08.039 align:middle line:90% Don't worry. 00:00:08.039 --> 00:00:10.770 align:middle line:84% I won't try to do any backflips or anything. 00:00:10.770 --> 00:00:13.530 align:middle line:84% I need to say thank you to Frances Sjoberg, 00:00:13.530 --> 00:00:17.430 align:middle line:84% to Gail, to Christine, and the Poetry Center, 00:00:17.430 --> 00:00:24.390 align:middle line:84% also to Renee, to Tony, to the friends at Casa Libre, 00:00:24.390 --> 00:00:28.770 align:middle line:84% to Janice's class, and they were really fantastic today, 00:00:28.770 --> 00:00:30.270 align:middle line:84% also to my teachers when I was here. 00:00:30.270 --> 00:00:34.410 align:middle line:84% I earned my MFA here, to Boyer Rickel, 00:00:34.410 --> 00:00:39.210 align:middle line:84% to Alison Hawthorne Deming, to Jane, 00:00:39.210 --> 00:00:44.190 align:middle line:84% to Jason Brown, Charlie Bertsch, Eric Hayot, Tenney Nathanson, 00:00:44.190 --> 00:00:47.340 align:middle line:84% some of my favorite teachers when I was here. 00:00:47.340 --> 00:00:51.720 align:middle line:84% And it's really an honor to read with Chicu and Brian tonight. 00:00:51.720 --> 00:00:53.910 align:middle line:84% And thank you guys all for being here too. 00:00:53.910 --> 00:00:57.360 align:middle line:84% I'd like to read just a little bit from this book 00:00:57.360 --> 00:00:59.580 align:middle line:84% that I wrote when I lived in Tucson, which 00:00:59.580 --> 00:01:01.680 align:middle line:90% is the first book I wrote. 00:01:01.680 --> 00:01:04.230 align:middle line:84% And the book is called Suspension of a Secret 00:01:04.230 --> 00:01:05.489 align:middle line:90% in Abandoned Rooms. 00:01:05.489 --> 00:01:08.940 align:middle line:84% It takes its title from a book by Theresa Hak Kyung Cha, 00:01:08.940 --> 00:01:11.370 align:middle line:84% it's a really amazing book called Dictee. 00:01:11.370 --> 00:01:15.690 align:middle line:84% And yeah, this section is called "Engines and Lovers." 00:01:15.690 --> 00:01:19.130 align:middle line:90% 00:01:19.130 --> 00:01:20.520 align:middle line:90% Picture an engine. 00:01:20.520 --> 00:01:25.760 align:middle line:84% Now picture its gears, the pins and sockets, 00:01:25.760 --> 00:01:30.170 align:middle line:84% the tin grease canister with its hummingbird nose, paraffin. 00:01:30.170 --> 00:01:34.970 align:middle line:84% Turbines hum as the shuffle of men in the entry. 00:01:34.970 --> 00:01:39.200 align:middle line:84% And a stitch that yields soldier sounds and a telling 00:01:39.200 --> 00:01:42.680 align:middle line:84% before words assemble from opposed cylinders, 00:01:42.680 --> 00:01:47.390 align:middle line:84% flesh-confused, curve-spoke flywheels, a pile of clothes, 00:01:47.390 --> 00:01:48.980 align:middle line:90% soiled from gardening. 00:01:48.980 --> 00:01:50.570 align:middle line:90% On your knees into the evening. 00:01:50.570 --> 00:01:53.450 align:middle line:84% Bits of metal cut like saw blades 00:01:53.450 --> 00:01:56.030 align:middle line:84% and polished like jewelry, meshed together. 00:01:56.030 --> 00:01:58.670 align:middle line:90% Two bodies at the kitchen sink. 00:01:58.670 --> 00:02:01.640 align:middle line:84% Brahms on the gramophone by the fire. 00:02:01.640 --> 00:02:06.350 align:middle line:84% Only, an engine needs fluid or steam for heat, 00:02:06.350 --> 00:02:12.260 align:middle line:84% a method for cooling, exhaust, a body, and then a way to begin. 00:02:12.260 --> 00:02:15.260 align:middle line:84% If it's warm, I sleep on the back porch 00:02:15.260 --> 00:02:17.810 align:middle line:84% or under the rear window on the bedroom floor 00:02:17.810 --> 00:02:20.630 align:middle line:84% when the bed becomes too much to make. 00:02:20.630 --> 00:02:23.750 align:middle line:84% Picture a giant steam engine in the basement 00:02:23.750 --> 00:02:27.570 align:middle line:84% of a textile factory, Austria, 1920. 00:02:27.570 --> 00:02:30.860 align:middle line:84% Now imagine a school teacher silently pacing, 00:02:30.860 --> 00:02:32.870 align:middle line:90% inspecting the busted engine. 00:02:32.870 --> 00:02:33.980 align:middle line:90% Enter four men. 00:02:33.980 --> 00:02:34.910 align:middle line:90% Give them hammers. 00:02:34.910 --> 00:02:39.140 align:middle line:84% And give them each a number, say, six or two. 00:02:39.140 --> 00:02:43.280 align:middle line:84% Each man must strike the engine with his hammer and number. 00:02:43.280 --> 00:02:47.770 align:middle line:84% And the engine will tick, shake, and begin again. 00:02:47.770 --> 00:02:52.040 align:middle line:84% Dear L, since you've left your cabin in the fjords, 00:02:52.040 --> 00:02:54.830 align:middle line:84% I have pulled the carpet away and rolled it 00:02:54.830 --> 00:02:57.033 align:middle line:90% neatly behind the house. 00:02:57.033 --> 00:02:58.700 align:middle line:84% And after the black leaves are dampened, 00:02:58.700 --> 00:03:00.980 align:middle line:84% I spread them over the floorboards. 00:03:00.980 --> 00:03:05.870 align:middle line:84% My bedroom reeks of tea and reminds me, wet, of you. 00:03:05.870 --> 00:03:09.320 align:middle line:84% Now, tell the story of the engines you built, 00:03:09.320 --> 00:03:11.570 align:middle line:84% the giant propeller you wanted so badly 00:03:11.570 --> 00:03:13.790 align:middle line:90% to fit into a flying machine. 00:03:13.790 --> 00:03:16.610 align:middle line:84% You had men build you a special combustion chamber 00:03:16.610 --> 00:03:19.100 align:middle line:90% for diesel and rotary tests. 00:03:19.100 --> 00:03:20.540 align:middle line:90% Fail. 00:03:20.540 --> 00:03:22.160 align:middle line:84% Or that tiny machine for measuring 00:03:22.160 --> 00:03:24.950 align:middle line:84% the blood and breath of mine-blown soldiers, 00:03:24.950 --> 00:03:26.780 align:middle line:90% the second war's amputees. 00:03:26.780 --> 00:03:29.450 align:middle line:84% What did the blood return you to? 00:03:29.450 --> 00:03:31.730 align:middle line:90% Why are you hiding from me? 00:03:31.730 --> 00:03:36.230 align:middle line:84% 19 weeks, you were one note to my every third letter. 00:03:36.230 --> 00:03:39.860 align:middle line:84% Even if all my words cross me, if your shame 00:03:39.860 --> 00:03:43.310 align:middle line:84% doesn't keep me shut, I'm done with all the parts of me 00:03:43.310 --> 00:03:45.590 align:middle line:90% you tried to fix. 00:03:45.590 --> 00:03:47.390 align:middle line:84% It has dripped rain for a week straight. 00:03:47.390 --> 00:03:49.370 align:middle line:84% My thoughts just correct themselves, 00:03:49.370 --> 00:03:51.950 align:middle line:84% bickering, one after another until I 00:03:51.950 --> 00:03:55.490 align:middle line:84% take the late train into the city to undo stickiness 00:03:55.490 --> 00:03:57.470 align:middle line:90% of your absence. 00:03:57.470 --> 00:03:59.600 align:middle line:90% This doesn't usually work. 00:03:59.600 --> 00:04:02.840 align:middle line:84% Gray wood mice have burrowed into soggy carpet 00:04:02.840 --> 00:04:07.360 align:middle line:84% behind the house, though mostly, I can't hear them at all.