WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:05.280 align:middle line:90% 00:00:05.280 --> 00:00:07.770 align:middle line:84% As my students would tell you if they were here, 00:00:07.770 --> 00:00:12.210 align:middle line:84% I became obsessed last year with the idea of a robot chimp. 00:00:12.210 --> 00:00:14.730 align:middle line:84% And this was something that Sharper Image was selling. 00:00:14.730 --> 00:00:18.300 align:middle line:84% And I think I like the idea of it better than the real thing. 00:00:18.300 --> 00:00:21.810 align:middle line:84% I printed off a picture of it from I 00:00:21.810 --> 00:00:24.780 align:middle line:84% think what George Bush calls the internets today. 00:00:24.780 --> 00:00:26.800 align:middle line:90% It looks like this. 00:00:26.800 --> 00:00:30.670 align:middle line:90% And you can see it later. 00:00:30.670 --> 00:00:33.150 align:middle line:84% But anyway, this poem is called, "Robot Chimp 00:00:33.150 --> 00:00:34.980 align:middle line:90% Writes Million Dollar Poem". 00:00:34.980 --> 00:00:37.630 align:middle line:84% And it has an epigraph from the advertisement, 00:00:37.630 --> 00:00:39.700 align:middle line:90% which says, "Alive chimpanzees. 00:00:39.700 --> 00:00:41.340 align:middle line:90% So real, it's unreal. 00:00:41.340 --> 00:00:43.170 align:middle line:90% Hollywood effects, animatronics. 00:00:43.170 --> 00:00:45.302 align:middle line:90% Only $149.95." 00:00:45.302 --> 00:00:47.010 align:middle line:84% Although I noticed on their website today 00:00:47.010 --> 00:00:47.843 align:middle line:90% it's now discounted. 00:00:47.843 --> 00:00:49.890 align:middle line:90% So. 00:00:49.890 --> 00:00:53.250 align:middle line:84% "Robot Chimp Writes Million Dollar Poem". 00:00:53.250 --> 00:00:56.640 align:middle line:84% "I buy the chimp for cheap, OK, for less than market price. 00:00:56.640 --> 00:00:57.780 align:middle line:90% You do the math. 00:00:57.780 --> 00:01:01.440 align:middle line:84% Unless the future tanks, unless these worlds unwind 00:01:01.440 --> 00:01:05.610 align:middle line:84% to blur and tatter, [? what, ?] I'm bound to wind up rich. 00:01:05.610 --> 00:01:07.710 align:middle line:84% These robot chimps are warrantied, 00:01:07.710 --> 00:01:10.350 align:middle line:84% unlike well, you with your unwarrantied, 00:01:10.350 --> 00:01:12.420 align:middle line:90% will go to Warsaw in the spring. 00:01:12.420 --> 00:01:15.960 align:middle line:84% Unlike, don't get me started, loose lips and the like. 00:01:15.960 --> 00:01:18.780 align:middle line:84% The chimp has four distinctive moods-- 00:01:18.780 --> 00:01:22.770 align:middle line:84% happy, feisty, fearful, and curious. 00:01:22.770 --> 00:01:24.690 align:middle line:84% Unhappy the [? Ms. ?] who crosses him. 00:01:24.690 --> 00:01:27.000 align:middle line:90% "Ee ee" until the cops come. 00:01:27.000 --> 00:01:29.310 align:middle line:90% Think of crooks at a bank till. 00:01:29.310 --> 00:01:31.260 align:middle line:90% Think of how lonely I've grown. 00:01:31.260 --> 00:01:33.510 align:middle line:90% Woe unto the poet, grumbling. 00:01:33.510 --> 00:01:35.490 align:middle line:90% I got the chimp to write this. 00:01:35.490 --> 00:01:37.530 align:middle line:90% 'Ahoo, ahoo, ahoo,' he said. 00:01:37.530 --> 00:01:40.815 align:middle line:84% And 'wahaha,' and more best left unsaid." 00:01:40.815 --> 00:01:43.440 align:middle line:90% 00:01:43.440 --> 00:01:46.940 align:middle line:84% See his moods right there, if you like, later. 00:01:46.940 --> 00:01:48.000 align:middle line:90%