OK, now for something completely different-- as they say.
I've been also writing for many years
a book called "100 Histories."
And I'm just now, pretty much, at the end of that manuscript.
And I started it when I was--
my baby was just newborn.
And I had a full time job and no time.
And I wanted to do something that I could complete.
That I could-- I wanted to keep writing,
but I didn't have time to really enter into a novel.
I had just finished a novel.
But then, I don't know if that's really the truth,
or if the truth is also some aesthetic considerations I
began to drum up.
Which were a preoccupation with objects and their histories,
and how everything in this room has a multitude of histories.
Every little object.
And it's a little crazy-making, but it also gave me this
feeling that I'd like to create these small personal histories
or definitions--
as Beth put it earlier today, which I appreciated.
So this one is number 19, "Mascara."
"She showered."
I'm going to read three of these, just so you know.
"She showered.
She used the shampoo that smelled like bubble gum,
but was really an exotic combination of rosemary
and mint.
And she used the conditioner that went with it.
She used nectarine soap.
She lathered her body with it carefully.
And then she scrubbed herself with a puff of plastic.
And then she shaved her legs, all the way up the leg
back and front.
And her armpits.
And then she dried off.
And then she sprayed some other conditioner detangler
on her hair.
And then she clipped her toenails.
And then she spread face moisturizer on her face.
And then she rubbed body moisturizer
over the rest of her body.
And then she combed her hair.
And then she sat down and cut her toenails.
And then she put special moisturizing cream on her feet.
And then she tweezed her eyebrows,
and the one stray hair under her chin.
And then she cleaned her eye-- her ears."
Her eyes, yeah "Her ears with a q-tip.
And then she brushed her teeth.
And then she used mouthwash.
And then she flossed.
And then she put on her underpants and bra.
And then she rubbed a cream of some kind into her hair,
and started drying it.
It took a long time to dry, as she dried it thoroughly.
And as she had two different brushes
she used, a round one and a flat one.
And when it was dry, she combed a part in her hair.
And then she sprayed something else in her hair.
And then she put on a blouse and shorts.
And then she stood by the mirror.
And placed her makeup bag on the sink behind the faucets.
And then she sloughed her skin with something.
And then she applied foundation to her skin.
And then she applied eye shadow to her eyes.
And then she applied eyeliner to her eyes.
And then she applied mascara to her eyes.
And then she applied blush to her cheeks.
And then she applied concealer under her eyes.
And then she applied sparkly gel around her eyes.
And then she applied lip pencil.
And then she applied lipstick.
And then she applied perfume.
And then she brushed her hair a little more.
And then she smoothed her hand over her leg.
And then she applied a little more moisturizing cream
to her elbows, knees, and her feet again.
And then she inspected her toes.
And then she noted that her toenail polish had chipped.
And then she applied a dab of toenail polish on two toes.
And then she put on her sandals.
And then she looked in the full length mirror.
And then she turned to the side to look from a different angle.
And then she realized she had forgotten to weigh herself,
so she took her sandals off and weighed herself.
And then she put her sandals back on,
and looked back in the mirror.
One side, other side, front.
And then she picked up her sunglasses.
And then she put them on, and looked in the mirror.
And then she put them up on her head, and looked in the mirror.
[LAUGHTER]
And then she shrugged.
And then she picked up her car keys and her purse.
And then she went to him."
[LAUGHTER]
[APPLAUSE]