WEBVTT

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[LAUGHTER]

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Six.

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"The grandfather and grandmother
and the bag of Doritos

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can now see the land of
Doritos in the near distance.

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Beautiful and arid.

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Everywhere they look are bags of
Doritos working industriously.

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Suddenly, their path is blocked
by the two piles of mush.

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"What the," says the
grandfather who loves Doritos.

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Suddenly the piles
of mush are joined

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by Grammy, the woman who
died in a bush, neglected

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by her grandson Timmy,
having been hit by a truck.

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Then Grammy and
the piles of mush

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are joined by the orange
violated by the Slap-of-Wack

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bar.

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Then Grammy, and the piles
of mush, and the orange

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are joined by Jim,
the penis-less man.

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Who's still limping a little,
and occasionally gaping down

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incredulously into his pants.

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"Get out of our way,"
says the bag of Doritos.

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"We're trying to get home to
our sacred land of Doritos,"

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says the grandmother
who loves Doritos.

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Just then, the man briefly
involved with the gigantic Ding

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Dong comes running up, and
joins Grammy, the mush pile,

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the orange, and Jim,
the penis-less man.

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"Sorry I'm late," he says.

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"Actually," says the orange,
with a hint of bravado,

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"you're right on time."

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The grandfather, the grandmother
and the bag of Doritos

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see that they are
badly outnumbered.

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Luckily at that moment, they are
joined by the giant Ding Dong,

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the Slap-a-Wack bar, Timmy,
grandson of the Grammy--

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even now eating from a container
of MacAttack mac and cheese--

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and Kevin, the man who
tricked him out of his penis.

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"We don't get it,"
says the grandmother

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who loves Doritos,
"What's your problem?"

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"You took our dignity,"
says the orange.

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"You took my fiance," says
the man briefly involved

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with the Ding Dong.

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"You took my penis," says Jim.

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"You split my head in half,
then reduced both halves

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to piles of mush,
completely betraying

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the grandchild/grandparent
relationship,"

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says one pile of mush.

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"Oh for crying out loud,"
says the grandmother

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who loves Doritos.

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"Don't you people believe
in the concept of fun?

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In the concept of funny?"

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says the bag of Doritos.

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"We just want to
express ourselves

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the way we want to express
ourselves," says the giant

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Ding Dong.

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"We find that fun."

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"Well, we don't it fun,"
says Jim, the penis-less man.

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"Well, we do find it fun,"
says Kevin, the man who

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tricked Jim out of his penis.

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"Looks like we'll have to
agree to disagree on this,"

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says the Ding Dong.

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"No," Grammy says, "This
has gone on long enough."

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The orange, the man briefly
involved with the Ding Dong,

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Jim the penis-less man,
Grammy and the piles

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of mush frustrated beyond
reason by years of repetitively

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enduring the same physical,
psychological humiliations

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in replay after replay of their
respective vignettes, attack.

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It's a bitter
fight, which we know

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because out of a
big cloud of dust

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fly a number of
limbs, a bottle cap,

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bits of delicious
flaky chocolate,

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and part of an orange peel.

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[LAUGHTER]

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When the dust settles, we see
that the entire Ding Dong,

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Doritos, Timmy, grandparents
who love Doritos, Kevin,

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Slap-of-Wack coalition is dead--

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except for the Slap-of-Wack,
who's almost dead.

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[LAUGHTER]

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"Please, mercy," the
Slap-of-Wack says.

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"When did you ever
show us any mercy?"

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says Jim, the penis-less man and
finishes off the Slap-of-Wack

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with a brutal karate chop.

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The orange, insane
with pent up rage,

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falls upon the Slap-of-Wack and
tears it asunder with its tiny

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teeth--

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[LAUGHTER]

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--until the other members of
the coalition pull him off.

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The members of the
orange, Grammy, man

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briefly involved the
Ding Dong, piles of mush,

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penis-less man coalition drags
the remains of the members

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of the Ding Dong,
Doritos, Timmy,

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grandparents who
love Doritos, Kevin,

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Slap-a-wack coalition
outside and bury them

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in a shallow mass grave.

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[LAUGHTER]

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Then they leave the
area, a little sick

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at what they've done.

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Especially the orange,
who several times

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becomes so distraught it
stops rolling altogether.

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It must be picked up
and hurled down the path

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by Jim, the penis-less man.

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Who, it turns out,
has a very good arm.

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[LAUGHTER]

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