WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:01.230 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHTER] 00:00:01.230 --> 00:00:02.118 align:middle line:90% "Four." 00:00:02.118 --> 00:00:03.750 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHTER] 00:00:03.750 --> 00:00:05.580 align:middle line:84% Two best friends look at their penises 00:00:05.580 --> 00:00:07.300 align:middle line:90% under sophisticated microscopes. 00:00:07.300 --> 00:00:09.840 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHTER] 00:00:09.840 --> 00:00:12.300 align:middle line:90% "You call this elongated?" 00:00:12.300 --> 00:00:13.740 align:middle line:90% says one man. 00:00:13.740 --> 00:00:16.079 align:middle line:84% "Jim, I gained four inches," says the other, 00:00:16.079 --> 00:00:19.000 align:middle line:84% "perhaps you should try my brand." 00:00:19.000 --> 00:00:21.360 align:middle line:84% "What is your brand, Kevin?" says the other. 00:00:21.360 --> 00:00:23.940 align:middle line:84% "My brand is I hang a brick from my penis 00:00:23.940 --> 00:00:27.750 align:middle line:84% and stand for hours at the edge of the Grand Canyon," 00:00:27.750 --> 00:00:28.686 align:middle line:90% says Kevin. 00:00:28.686 --> 00:00:32.392 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHTER] 00:00:32.392 --> 00:00:34.600 align:middle line:84% "OK, Kevin," says Jim, "you've been my dearest friend 00:00:34.600 --> 00:00:35.447 align:middle line:90% since kindergarten. 00:00:35.447 --> 00:00:36.280 align:middle line:90% I'll give it a try." 00:00:36.280 --> 00:00:38.110 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHTER] 00:00:38.110 --> 00:00:41.380 align:middle line:84% Then we see Jim standing on the edge of the Grand Canyon, brick 00:00:41.380 --> 00:00:46.150 align:middle line:84% hanging from his penis, while Kevin tiptoes towards Jim's car 00:00:46.150 --> 00:00:49.302 align:middle line:84% and a voiceover says "Pontiac Sophisto-- so sophisticated, 00:00:49.302 --> 00:00:51.760 align:middle line:84% it might just make you trick your best friend into dangling 00:00:51.760 --> 00:00:52.840 align:middle line:90% a brick from his penis." 00:00:52.840 --> 00:01:00.080 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHTER] 00:01:00.080 --> 00:01:04.580 align:middle line:84% While Jim is distracted by the pain of the rift on his penis, 00:01:04.580 --> 00:01:08.210 align:middle line:84% Kevin squeals away in Jim's Sophisto. 00:01:08.210 --> 00:01:11.060 align:middle line:84% As Jim spins around to look, his penis rips off-- 00:01:11.060 --> 00:01:14.170 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHTER] 00:01:14.170 --> 00:01:17.290 align:middle line:84% --and plummets into the Grand Canyon. 00:01:17.290 --> 00:01:20.500 align:middle line:84% Jim smiles wryly, acknowledging Kevin's trick but also 00:01:20.500 --> 00:01:23.410 align:middle line:84% Kevin's good taste in cars, then starts down 00:01:23.410 --> 00:01:24.940 align:middle line:84% into the Grand Canyon to retrieve, 00:01:24.940 --> 00:01:28.200 align:middle line:84% and hopefully, reattach his penis.