WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:03.150 align:middle line:84% One night waiting for him to turn off the display lights, 00:00:03.150 --> 00:00:06.060 align:middle line:84% I stood by the big window and looked idly across the street 00:00:06.060 --> 00:00:07.020 align:middle line:90% to Bullard's. 00:00:07.020 --> 00:00:09.960 align:middle line:84% The tiny door at the back of the Bullard's display case 00:00:09.960 --> 00:00:13.530 align:middle line:84% opened, and a hand, seemingly detached, 00:00:13.530 --> 00:00:17.340 align:middle line:84% reached into the little box and clawed up the diamond necklace 00:00:17.340 --> 00:00:19.110 align:middle line:90% lying on the satin. 00:00:19.110 --> 00:00:22.200 align:middle line:84% The door snapped shut behind the withdrawn hand, 00:00:22.200 --> 00:00:25.320 align:middle line:84% and the starry strand receded into the fathoms 00:00:25.320 --> 00:00:28.530 align:middle line:84% of Bullard darkness for another lonely night. 00:00:28.530 --> 00:00:33.060 align:middle line:84% A spotlight dazzled the empty satin, and an odd sensation, 00:00:33.060 --> 00:00:35.160 align:middle line:90% it dazzled me. 00:00:35.160 --> 00:00:38.400 align:middle line:84% A strange bitterness, disloyal and furious, 00:00:38.400 --> 00:00:41.100 align:middle line:84% possessed me is if I were seeing that I 00:00:41.100 --> 00:00:43.710 align:middle line:84% have been denied something essential, 00:00:43.710 --> 00:00:46.410 align:middle line:90% not diamonds, not sapphires. 00:00:46.410 --> 00:00:48.840 align:middle line:90% The vacancy spoke to me. 00:00:48.840 --> 00:00:51.870 align:middle line:84% The pristine satin betrayed the complacency 00:00:51.870 --> 00:00:55.290 align:middle line:84% of a closed mind, the St. Paul mind. 00:00:55.290 --> 00:00:59.040 align:middle line:84% Here was our cold and tidy town, here 00:00:59.040 --> 00:01:02.790 align:middle line:84% the narrow window displaying our self-satisfied abdication 00:01:02.790 --> 00:01:07.380 align:middle line:84% from all that glittered from the great world, here our vacancy 00:01:07.380 --> 00:01:11.240 align:middle line:84% that Bullard's illuminated every night. 00:01:11.240 --> 00:01:15.320 align:middle line:84% Christmas at least made up for every drear St. Paul habit. 00:01:15.320 --> 00:01:18.890 align:middle line:84% The downtown store was decked with noble fir garlands done up 00:01:18.890 --> 00:01:21.140 align:middle line:84% with massive velvet bows, the edges 00:01:21.140 --> 00:01:23.060 align:middle line:84% stiffened on the back with thin wires 00:01:23.060 --> 00:01:24.860 align:middle line:84% to keep the ribbons from drooping. 00:01:24.860 --> 00:01:28.040 align:middle line:84% The walls were banked with Fraser firs, the only tree 00:01:28.040 --> 00:01:29.960 align:middle line:84% to have, in my father's view, though he 00:01:29.960 --> 00:01:32.990 align:middle line:84% had to accept the inexplicable preference 00:01:32.990 --> 00:01:36.860 align:middle line:84% for long-needled Norway pines that many of his otherwise 00:01:36.860 --> 00:01:40.160 align:middle line:90% tractable customers swore by. 00:01:40.160 --> 00:01:42.440 align:middle line:84% The best Christmas item was the collection 00:01:42.440 --> 00:01:45.200 align:middle line:84% of hand-carved German and Italian creche scenes 00:01:45.200 --> 00:01:48.500 align:middle line:84% my father bought at the Chicago spring trade show. 00:01:48.500 --> 00:01:51.620 align:middle line:84% These nativity sets were his stealth campaign 00:01:51.620 --> 00:01:54.890 align:middle line:84% against the bottom-line thinking of the store's owner. 00:01:54.890 --> 00:01:57.410 align:middle line:84% "Who's going to buy that manger, Stan? 00:01:57.410 --> 00:02:00.080 align:middle line:84% You've got to mark up triple with the tariff. 00:02:00.080 --> 00:02:04.280 align:middle line:84% You could maybe sell that downtown Minneapolis, but--" 00:02:04.280 --> 00:02:08.060 align:middle line:84% The owner's downtown was not the stuff of my aunt's transcendent 00:02:08.060 --> 00:02:10.610 align:middle line:84% metaphor but the small-minded marketplace 00:02:10.610 --> 00:02:12.050 align:middle line:90% of the provincial capital. 00:02:12.050 --> 00:02:14.540 align:middle line:84% Don't start getting Minneapolis ideas 00:02:14.540 --> 00:02:17.090 align:middle line:90% in a St. Paul kind of town. 00:02:17.090 --> 00:02:19.040 align:middle line:84% There was also the problem of theft. 00:02:19.040 --> 00:02:21.410 align:middle line:84% People could nab a baby Jesus in nothing flat 00:02:21.410 --> 00:02:23.840 align:middle line:84% and be out the door before anyone noticed. 00:02:23.840 --> 00:02:27.410 align:middle line:84% My father, I understood, was on the side of beauty, 00:02:27.410 --> 00:02:29.840 align:middle line:84% obviously the only side to be on. 00:02:29.840 --> 00:02:33.880 align:middle line:84% His loyalty was to workmanship, another word for art. 00:02:33.880 --> 00:02:35.630 align:middle line:84% "A lot of people can't tell the difference 00:02:35.630 --> 00:02:37.280 align:middle line:84% between the German creche," he would 00:02:37.280 --> 00:02:39.980 align:middle line:84% say, holding up a well-turned camel 00:02:39.980 --> 00:02:43.250 align:middle line:84% sporting a saddle blanket painted in royal blue 00:02:43.250 --> 00:02:47.510 align:middle line:84% and finished in gold scrollwork scattered with gold stars 00:02:47.510 --> 00:02:50.720 align:middle line:84% and crescent moons, bearing all the mysterious East 00:02:50.720 --> 00:02:51.860 align:middle line:90% on its back. 00:02:51.860 --> 00:02:53.600 align:middle line:90% "But I can tell. 00:02:53.600 --> 00:02:55.520 align:middle line:84% You put it out there, they'll begin 00:02:55.520 --> 00:02:57.590 align:middle line:84% to see the difference from the plastic. 00:02:57.590 --> 00:03:00.620 align:middle line:84% Over time, they'll begin to see the difference." 00:03:00.620 --> 00:03:03.410 align:middle line:84% He had resilient faith in the educative powers 00:03:03.410 --> 00:03:07.850 align:middle line:84% of just looking, as he invited the dopey springer spaniel 00:03:07.850 --> 00:03:11.540 align:middle line:84% Buddy into the car and cried, "Buddy, up, up. 00:03:11.540 --> 00:03:13.970 align:middle line:84% Look out the window," furious at him 00:03:13.970 --> 00:03:16.730 align:middle line:90% for not enjoying the scenery. 00:03:16.730 --> 00:03:19.550 align:middle line:84% He was determined to bring people up. 00:03:19.550 --> 00:03:21.562 align:middle line:84% My mother felt compelled to point out 00:03:21.562 --> 00:03:24.020 align:middle line:84% that certain people saw the difference between the imported 00:03:24.020 --> 00:03:26.570 align:middle line:84% creches and the plastic sets all too well. 00:03:26.570 --> 00:03:27.740 align:middle line:90% "Admit it," she said. 00:03:27.740 --> 00:03:29.510 align:middle line:84% "Once they've lifted the baby Jesus, 00:03:29.510 --> 00:03:31.820 align:middle line:84% how are you going to expect to sell that set?" 00:03:31.820 --> 00:03:34.850 align:middle line:84% He shrugged, but later, he had to mark down 00:03:34.850 --> 00:03:39.140 align:middle line:84% the childless manger scenes for the after-Christmas sale. 00:03:39.140 --> 00:03:42.020 align:middle line:84% "I tell Ollie and Mrs. Butler," he said with frustration, 00:03:42.020 --> 00:03:45.050 align:middle line:84% naming the two widow ladies who were the downtown store's 00:03:45.050 --> 00:03:45.980 align:middle line:90% chief clerks. 00:03:45.980 --> 00:03:48.560 align:middle line:84% "I tell them watch those sets, but it gets busy. 00:03:48.560 --> 00:03:50.780 align:middle line:84% People can be quick if they want to be." 00:03:50.780 --> 00:03:53.570 align:middle line:84% He denied the possibility of evil afoot 00:03:53.570 --> 00:03:55.280 align:middle line:84% until the evidence was in, and then 00:03:55.280 --> 00:03:57.560 align:middle line:84% he still couldn't quite bring himself to blame anyone 00:03:57.560 --> 00:04:00.830 align:middle line:84% and saw the disappearance of the best pieces as bum luck. 00:04:00.830 --> 00:04:04.220 align:middle line:84% And you really couldn't get away from bum luck, so what's 00:04:04.220 --> 00:04:05.930 align:middle line:90% a guy to do? 00:04:05.930 --> 00:04:07.670 align:middle line:84% Being on the side of beauty put you 00:04:07.670 --> 00:04:09.890 align:middle line:84% at this sort of disadvantage, but once having 00:04:09.890 --> 00:04:12.530 align:middle line:84% pledged your allegiance, there was no going back. 00:04:12.530 --> 00:04:14.510 align:middle line:84% Or perhaps there was no going forward, 00:04:14.510 --> 00:04:17.839 align:middle line:84% because the forces of modernity were part of the problem. 00:04:17.839 --> 00:04:21.920 align:middle line:84% Beauty had existed from the dawn of human marking and making. 00:04:21.920 --> 00:04:24.710 align:middle line:84% Beauty wasn't simply loveliness for my father. 00:04:24.710 --> 00:04:27.230 align:middle line:84% It was the highest token of reality. 00:04:27.230 --> 00:04:29.630 align:middle line:84% But now this confirmation of reality 00:04:29.630 --> 00:04:32.060 align:middle line:84% was being chipped away, little by little, 00:04:32.060 --> 00:04:35.870 align:middle line:84% by the forces of mass production and plastic. 00:04:35.870 --> 00:04:38.480 align:middle line:84% Modern art didn't help either, splashing 00:04:38.480 --> 00:04:41.150 align:middle line:84% paint around like that, nothing looking like anything 00:04:41.150 --> 00:04:43.970 align:middle line:84% in particular, confusing people, not bringing them up 00:04:43.970 --> 00:04:47.090 align:middle line:84% at all, though he admitted that there was some kind of idea 00:04:47.090 --> 00:04:50.360 align:middle line:84% at work there, though damned if he could figure it out. 00:04:50.360 --> 00:04:52.760 align:middle line:84% Plastic-- plastic was the real culprit, 00:04:52.760 --> 00:04:55.700 align:middle line:84% plastic as a proliferating form of mischief and almost 00:04:55.700 --> 00:04:58.610 align:middle line:84% sentient force, nicking away not only at beauty 00:04:58.610 --> 00:05:00.800 align:middle line:84% but at workmanship and craft that 00:05:00.800 --> 00:05:03.170 align:middle line:84% had been the immemorial proof that beauty 00:05:03.170 --> 00:05:05.630 align:middle line:84% was the essential business of the human world. 00:05:05.630 --> 00:05:07.250 align:middle line:84% There was nothing a guy could do. 00:05:07.250 --> 00:05:08.840 align:middle line:84% You could only keep putting the better 00:05:08.840 --> 00:05:13.280 align:middle line:84% things in front of people and hoping, hoping they'd see. 00:05:13.280 --> 00:05:17.690 align:middle line:84% Leo the Lion settled into a job at the college library, 00:05:17.690 --> 00:05:20.030 align:middle line:84% glorying in her proximity to books. 00:05:20.030 --> 00:05:22.250 align:middle line:84% "You really ought to think of library science," 00:05:22.250 --> 00:05:26.060 align:middle line:84% she told me when I confessed I wanted to be a writer. 00:05:26.060 --> 00:05:28.760 align:middle line:84% In spite of their mutual reverence for education that 00:05:28.760 --> 00:05:31.490 align:middle line:84% amounted to a cult-- my father was asking me what I had 00:05:31.490 --> 00:05:34.640 align:middle line:84% learned today long after I was out of graduate school-- 00:05:34.640 --> 00:05:36.890 align:middle line:84% working holidays at the flower shop, 00:05:36.890 --> 00:05:38.840 align:middle line:84% they both agreed, was a good thing. 00:05:38.840 --> 00:05:42.080 align:middle line:84% It would not be a good thing to be a waitress, nor would it 00:05:42.080 --> 00:05:44.870 align:middle line:84% be a good thing to learn typing in high school, 00:05:44.870 --> 00:05:46.460 align:middle line:84% as far as my father was concerned. 00:05:46.460 --> 00:05:49.550 align:middle line:84% These activities could lead to unfortunate results, 00:05:49.550 --> 00:05:54.260 align:middle line:84% rudeness and fanny-pinching-- waitressing-- or a desk job-- 00:05:54.260 --> 00:05:54.920 align:middle line:90% typing. 00:05:54.920 --> 00:05:57.290 align:middle line:84% For typing was the road to office servitude 00:05:57.290 --> 00:05:59.900 align:middle line:84% for unfortunate girls whose fathers were not 00:05:59.900 --> 00:06:02.900 align:middle line:84% watchful enough to direct them to a real education that 00:06:02.900 --> 00:06:05.780 align:middle line:84% in turn would lead them to a non-desk job, 00:06:05.780 --> 00:06:09.830 align:middle line:84% though he was vague about what a non-desk job might be. 00:06:09.830 --> 00:06:12.980 align:middle line:84% "He doesn't want you to end up a file clerk in an office," 00:06:12.980 --> 00:06:16.030 align:middle line:90% my mother said, "like me."