WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:01.720 align:middle line:90% 00:00:01.720 --> 00:00:04.400 align:middle line:90% Oh, here's another one. 00:00:04.400 --> 00:00:08.990 align:middle line:84% I have four godchildren, all female. 00:00:08.990 --> 00:00:10.550 align:middle line:90% And, they're interesting. 00:00:10.550 --> 00:00:11.865 align:middle line:90% My best friend is-- 00:00:11.865 --> 00:00:12.740 align:middle line:90% she used to be a nun. 00:00:12.740 --> 00:00:15.050 align:middle line:84% Maybe that's why I hang out in Catholic churches a lot. 00:00:15.050 --> 00:00:17.510 align:middle line:90% She was a nun. 00:00:17.510 --> 00:00:20.510 align:middle line:84% She left the convent and married-- 00:00:20.510 --> 00:00:22.640 align:middle line:90% he's like my brother. 00:00:22.640 --> 00:00:24.992 align:middle line:90% He's Jewish. 00:00:24.992 --> 00:00:26.450 align:middle line:84% And it seems to have taken, they've 00:00:26.450 --> 00:00:29.400 align:middle line:90% been married 30 something years. 00:00:29.400 --> 00:00:33.180 align:middle line:84% And when I spend the night with him, which I often do, 00:00:33.180 --> 00:00:34.430 align:middle line:90% I spend the night in Amira's-- 00:00:34.430 --> 00:00:37.430 align:middle line:84% their oldest daughter's Amira, that's her name-- 00:00:37.430 --> 00:00:38.203 align:middle line:90% her room. 00:00:38.203 --> 00:00:40.370 align:middle line:84% And she has all these-- have you seen these ceilings 00:00:40.370 --> 00:00:41.750 align:middle line:90% with lights? 00:00:41.750 --> 00:00:48.973 align:middle line:84% So the whole ceiling of the room looks like stars around it. 00:00:48.973 --> 00:00:50.390 align:middle line:84% I was there one night, and I start 00:00:50.390 --> 00:00:53.570 align:middle line:84% thinking about my grandma-- my grandmother was certified 00:00:53.570 --> 00:00:55.130 align:middle line:90% bonkers. 00:00:55.130 --> 00:00:56.840 align:middle line:84% And she thought I was 14 until she died. 00:00:56.840 --> 00:00:57.560 align:middle line:90% I had children. 00:00:57.560 --> 00:01:00.900 align:middle line:90% 00:01:00.900 --> 00:01:03.700 align:middle line:84% And I thought about trying to get away from something. 00:01:03.700 --> 00:01:05.450 align:middle line:84% So I'm not the only person that does that. 00:01:05.450 --> 00:01:08.150 align:middle line:84% I am not the only color that thinks 00:01:08.150 --> 00:01:10.340 align:middle line:84% about getting away from here, getting away 00:01:10.340 --> 00:01:12.830 align:middle line:90% from home and these people. 00:01:12.830 --> 00:01:17.360 align:middle line:84% This is called "In Amira's Room." 00:01:17.360 --> 00:01:19.430 align:middle line:84% "You are not nearly light enough, 00:01:19.430 --> 00:01:22.730 align:middle line:84% I whisper to myself, staring up at the stars 00:01:22.730 --> 00:01:25.730 align:middle line:90% on Amira's ceiling. 00:01:25.730 --> 00:01:29.300 align:middle line:84% You are my lightest grandchild, she would smile. 00:01:29.300 --> 00:01:33.620 align:middle line:84% My crazy grandmother who loved me more, of course, 00:01:33.620 --> 00:01:36.860 align:middle line:84% shining among my cousins in my Mary Janes. 00:01:36.860 --> 00:01:40.760 align:middle line:84% Sure that I could one day lift from the darkness, 00:01:40.760 --> 00:01:43.850 align:middle line:84% from the family holding me to what the world would 00:01:43.850 --> 00:01:47.060 align:middle line:90% call unbearable. 00:01:47.060 --> 00:01:52.020 align:middle line:84% I lie here now under my godchild's ceiling, grandma 00:01:52.020 --> 00:01:59.240 align:middle line:84% gone, cousins all gone, the dark world still smug-- 00:01:59.240 --> 00:02:02.920 align:middle line:90% still visible among the stars. 00:02:02.920 --> 00:02:06.020 align:middle line:90% 00:02:06.020 --> 00:02:07.850 align:middle line:84% We've gotten over that whole thing about-- 00:02:07.850 --> 00:02:12.010 align:middle line:84% I hope-- about lightness and all that good stuff."