WEBVTT

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"Granny's Song."

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"If the factor
itself were not--"

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I can't do a granny.

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Part of the problem with doing
a granny is I never had kids.

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I would have been
a lot older now--

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or a lot younger.

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"If the fact itself
were not at odds

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with most of my
hopes for human life,

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I want to know why
sex was always best

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when I stood to lose the most.

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Why make its charms so
devilishly proximal to risk?

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The patterns ought to favor
children's best protection, not

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one parent hardened and one
hurt, one predator, one weak.

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But nurturance appeared to
have no part in our old,

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fastest appetites, our
grappling hooks and eye meats.

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Well, a mortally afflicted
tree will scatter seed.

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That's nature's way of
furthering its kind.

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In my own 60s, here where
issue's not the issue,

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not unless I go to Delhi
for an embryo implant

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and, let me tell you,
I am not that nuts.

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Here, nearly sixtified, I'd
say I'd settle for a kindness,

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tender looks, not tenterhooks.

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A cuddle, not a cattle prod.

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Dear God, you made me pull away
from every club, and strut,

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and hoe.

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Don't now, on my account, sweet
chariot, swing so damn low."

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[LAUGHTER]

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