WEBVTT

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All right, just a
couple more poems

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of sympathy for the
devil or the animal.

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This is an homage to animal
life, "Philosopher Orders

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Crispy Pork."

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[LAUGHTER]

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I'm actually very
tender toward animals.

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I mean, we have canine teeth, so
I'm reconciled to eating them.

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But they have to
have good lives.

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The reverence we owe them, the
credit we owe them for this joy

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that our canine teeth
have is to give them

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a good life and a
good death, the thing

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we require for ourselves.

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How horrific that
we don't do that.

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Spend a little extra
money, even for crimping

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your lifestyle a little, to get
an animal that's treated right.

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I'm sorry to get on this little
soapbox, but it grieves me.

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It causes me such excruciation.

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You could make my life a
little better by doing this.

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"Philosopher Orders
Crispy Pork."

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This here, it's a confession.

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I'm just nailing
myself on the cross.

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"I love him so.

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This animal, I pray,
was treated kindly.

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Let me pay as much as even
greater pig lovers see

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fit to guarantee him that.

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As for his fat,
I'd give up years--

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yes, years-- of my own life
for such a gulpable semblable.

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My life, such as it is,
this liberality of leaves.

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The world won't
need those 17 more

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poems, after all, there being
so few subjects to be treated.

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Three, if by subject we mean
anyone submitted to another's

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will.

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Two, if by subject
we mean topic.

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[LAUGHTER]

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One, if by death we
wind up meaning love.

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And none if a subject
must entail the curlicue's

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indulgence of itself."

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It winds up being a
critique of postmodernism.

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I'm sorry I got off track there.

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It started with love
and ended with hate.

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Because we have canine teeth.

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I can't help it.

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