WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:00.720 align:middle line:90% OK. 00:00:00.720 --> 00:00:02.110 align:middle line:90% What do you think? 00:00:02.110 --> 00:00:02.610 align:middle line:90% Yeah? 00:00:02.610 --> 00:00:03.110 align:middle line:90% All right. 00:00:03.110 --> 00:00:04.920 align:middle line:90% So bear with me. 00:00:04.920 --> 00:00:06.150 align:middle line:90% OK, so here's the last one. 00:00:06.150 --> 00:00:09.480 align:middle line:84% I thought maybe-- that one is so controlled. 00:00:09.480 --> 00:00:11.965 align:middle line:84% I just don't want you to think that this is a book-- 00:00:11.965 --> 00:00:13.590 align:middle line:84% I don't want to you buy it for your dad 00:00:13.590 --> 00:00:15.240 align:middle line:84% and be like, "Happy Father's Day." 00:00:15.240 --> 00:00:16.920 align:middle line:90% And it's a book about control. 00:00:16.920 --> 00:00:19.860 align:middle line:84% So there's a lot of kind of absurdity and wildness 00:00:19.860 --> 00:00:22.020 align:middle line:84% in the book, too, because sometimes I would 00:00:22.020 --> 00:00:23.310 align:middle line:90% run into these animal stories. 00:00:23.310 --> 00:00:25.800 align:middle line:84% And I loved them so much, I just wanted 00:00:25.800 --> 00:00:29.790 align:middle line:84% to keep them polished and golden and sort 00:00:29.790 --> 00:00:31.475 align:middle line:90% of special as the moment. 00:00:31.475 --> 00:00:33.600 align:middle line:84% And sometimes I would run into these animal stories 00:00:33.600 --> 00:00:36.300 align:middle line:84% and I would just want to throw the story out the window, 00:00:36.300 --> 00:00:40.800 align:middle line:84% because it was so cruel or awful or disturbing, 00:00:40.800 --> 00:00:43.380 align:middle line:84% or it just upended my expectations 00:00:43.380 --> 00:00:45.253 align:middle line:84% that I'd had for 30 whatever years, 00:00:45.253 --> 00:00:47.170 align:middle line:84% to the point where I couldn't take it anymore. 00:00:47.170 --> 00:00:49.380 align:middle line:84% And no animal story did that more 00:00:49.380 --> 00:00:51.465 align:middle line:84% than the story of Koko the gorilla. 00:00:51.465 --> 00:00:53.340 align:middle line:84% You guys know Koko the sign language gorilla? 00:00:53.340 --> 00:00:54.180 align:middle line:90% Yeah? 00:00:54.180 --> 00:00:56.880 align:middle line:84% She's the only animal in my book that's still alive. 00:00:56.880 --> 00:00:59.130 align:middle line:84% And I had assumed that I was going 00:00:59.130 --> 00:01:02.450 align:middle line:84% to write this essay about her, or the way-- 00:01:02.450 --> 00:01:05.160 align:middle line:84% she's the only animal, I think, that has named another animal 00:01:05.160 --> 00:01:06.180 align:middle line:90% using a human moniker. 00:01:06.180 --> 00:01:08.190 align:middle line:84% She was on the cover of National Geographic 00:01:08.190 --> 00:01:10.890 align:middle line:84% when I was very young holding this little orange kitten 00:01:10.890 --> 00:01:14.100 align:middle line:84% that she had purportedly nicknamed All Ball. 00:01:14.100 --> 00:01:16.312 align:middle line:84% And so I started researching her language pairings. 00:01:16.312 --> 00:01:18.270 align:middle line:84% She has about thousand words in her vocabulary, 00:01:18.270 --> 00:01:20.730 align:middle line:84% and she's got these really interesting ways of talking. 00:01:20.730 --> 00:01:23.403 align:middle line:84% She's sort of made up a lot of words, 00:01:23.403 --> 00:01:25.320 align:middle line:84% and invented a lot of pairings that are great. 00:01:25.320 --> 00:01:28.590 align:middle line:84% Like, when she's mad at you, she calls you toilet names. 00:01:28.590 --> 00:01:31.890 align:middle line:84% So she's like, "You bad, dirty toilet" when she's mad. 00:01:31.890 --> 00:01:36.078 align:middle line:84% And she calls women "lips" and she calls men "nipple." 00:01:36.078 --> 00:01:36.870 align:middle line:90% Purportedly, right? 00:01:36.870 --> 00:01:40.500 align:middle line:84% And then she sleeps in a curtained-off part 00:01:40.500 --> 00:01:42.642 align:middle line:84% of her enclosure, and they pull the drapes. 00:01:42.642 --> 00:01:44.100 align:middle line:84% And so she knows the sign "drapes." 00:01:44.100 --> 00:01:45.390 align:middle line:84% And so when she doesn't want to talk to you anymore, 00:01:45.390 --> 00:01:46.650 align:middle line:90% she just says "drapes." 00:01:46.650 --> 00:01:50.220 align:middle line:90% Like, talk to the hand, right? 00:01:50.220 --> 00:01:51.970 align:middle line:84% Unfortunately, when I was researching her, 00:01:51.970 --> 00:01:54.303 align:middle line:84% I realized that the Koko story is a lot more complicated 00:01:54.303 --> 00:01:55.110 align:middle line:90% than I thought. 00:01:55.110 --> 00:01:57.175 align:middle line:84% It's not that some kind of terrible story 00:01:57.175 --> 00:01:59.550 align:middle line:84% where we all need to grab torches and drive to California 00:01:59.550 --> 00:02:03.230 align:middle line:84% and save Koko, but it's not the darling open communication 00:02:03.230 --> 00:02:05.730 align:middle line:84% thing that I thought-- that I could just walk up to the cage 00:02:05.730 --> 00:02:07.277 align:middle line:90% and be like, I love you, Koko. 00:02:07.277 --> 00:02:08.610 align:middle line:90% And she would be like, "hungry." 00:02:08.610 --> 00:02:10.485 align:middle line:84% You know, she would say something back at me. 00:02:10.485 --> 00:02:13.140 align:middle line:90% It's a lot harder to love. 00:02:13.140 --> 00:02:14.970 align:middle line:84% It's a lot less unconditional than that. 00:02:14.970 --> 00:02:17.010 align:middle line:90% And I was so upset. 00:02:17.010 --> 00:02:20.520 align:middle line:84% And I thought-- and then I saw this Greenpeace commercial 00:02:20.520 --> 00:02:24.060 align:middle line:84% where Koko was just doing these random things with her hands, 00:02:24.060 --> 00:02:27.240 align:middle line:84% and they had subtitled it with these complete sentences 00:02:27.240 --> 00:02:29.580 align:middle line:84% about abstract concepts like saving the environment. 00:02:29.580 --> 00:02:31.470 align:middle line:90% And I was just like-- 00:02:31.470 --> 00:02:32.738 align:middle line:90% I was so mad. 00:02:32.738 --> 00:02:34.530 align:middle line:84% And I was like, they're putting these words 00:02:34.530 --> 00:02:37.320 align:middle line:84% into the mouth of this creature that I don't even know anymore. 00:02:37.320 --> 00:02:39.870 align:middle line:84% This creature is a part of the gray matter 00:02:39.870 --> 00:02:42.720 align:middle line:84% that I developed from ages five to 10. 00:02:42.720 --> 00:02:44.970 align:middle line:84% And so then I thought, well, I do have this 1,000-word 00:02:44.970 --> 00:02:46.602 align:middle line:90% vocabulary of hers. 00:02:46.602 --> 00:02:48.810 align:middle line:84% If they're putting all these words into Koko's mouth, 00:02:48.810 --> 00:02:51.960 align:middle line:84% maybe I should put some words into Koko's mouth myself. 00:02:51.960 --> 00:02:56.400 align:middle line:84% So here is Koko telling the old vaudeville joke 00:02:56.400 --> 00:02:59.070 align:middle line:90% "The Aristocrats." 00:02:59.070 --> 00:03:00.970 align:middle line:90% Do we know "The Aristocrats?" 00:03:00.970 --> 00:03:04.440 align:middle line:84% It's this comedian joke that comedians don't usually 00:03:04.440 --> 00:03:05.100 align:middle line:90% tell onstage. 00:03:05.100 --> 00:03:07.170 align:middle line:84% They usually tell it in the bar afterwards. 00:03:07.170 --> 00:03:09.990 align:middle line:84% And it has the same opening and the same punch line. 00:03:09.990 --> 00:03:11.902 align:middle line:90% But the premise of it is-- 00:03:11.902 --> 00:03:13.110 align:middle line:90% it's like a shaggy dog story. 00:03:13.110 --> 00:03:15.090 align:middle line:84% They try to sort of make it big and bloated, 00:03:15.090 --> 00:03:17.548 align:middle line:84% the story that's in-between the premise and the punch line. 00:03:17.548 --> 00:03:21.180 align:middle line:84% But it's, a guy walks into a talent agent's office 00:03:21.180 --> 00:03:24.810 align:middle line:84% and tells this agent about his family act, which 00:03:24.810 --> 00:03:30.090 align:middle line:84% is the grossest, sexual, strangest, awful, carnage, 00:03:30.090 --> 00:03:32.220 align:middle line:90% bloody, every fluid act. 00:03:32.220 --> 00:03:34.230 align:middle line:84% And then when it's over, the talent agent says, 00:03:34.230 --> 00:03:35.397 align:middle line:90% what's the name of your act? 00:03:35.397 --> 00:03:36.667 align:middle line:90% And he says, the aristocrats? 00:03:36.667 --> 00:03:37.500 align:middle line:90% And that's the joke. 00:03:37.500 --> 00:03:38.500 align:middle line:90% So it's not even funny. 00:03:38.500 --> 00:03:40.530 align:middle line:84% But the reason the comedians like to tell it, I think, 00:03:40.530 --> 00:03:42.822 align:middle line:84% is because they can sort of try to gross each other out 00:03:42.822 --> 00:03:45.360 align:middle line:84% for like 30-minute-long versions of the joke. 00:03:45.360 --> 00:03:47.610 align:middle line:84% Here's Koko doing it with her vocabulary. 00:03:47.610 --> 00:03:50.130 align:middle line:84% And it's only about a one-minute read. 00:03:50.130 --> 00:03:52.920 align:middle line:84% "Koko the gorilla tells a famous joke. 00:03:52.920 --> 00:03:55.022 align:middle line:84% Father gorilla, mother gorilla, baby gorilla--" 00:03:55.022 --> 00:03:56.730 align:middle line:84% You have to imagine, by the way, that I'm 00:03:56.730 --> 00:03:59.347 align:middle line:84% a 200-pound, 40-year-old gorilla, which is-- maybe 00:03:59.347 --> 00:04:00.180 align:middle line:90% that's not too hard. 00:04:00.180 --> 00:04:01.230 align:middle line:90% OK. 00:04:01.230 --> 00:04:03.480 align:middle line:84% "Koko the gorilla tells a famous joke. 00:04:03.480 --> 00:04:06.120 align:middle line:84% Father gorilla, mother gorilla, baby gorilla hungry. 00:04:06.120 --> 00:04:07.380 align:middle line:90% Need work. 00:04:07.380 --> 00:04:09.510 align:middle line:90% Mustache man tell, what work? 00:04:09.510 --> 00:04:12.390 align:middle line:84% Father gorilla tell, really together show. 00:04:12.390 --> 00:04:13.290 align:middle line:90% Fine show. 00:04:13.290 --> 00:04:14.220 align:middle line:90% Good practice. 00:04:14.220 --> 00:04:15.870 align:middle line:90% Lights off good. 00:04:15.870 --> 00:04:17.130 align:middle line:90% "Mustache man tell, hurry. 00:04:17.130 --> 00:04:18.329 align:middle line:90% Tell me. 00:04:18.329 --> 00:04:20.220 align:middle line:90% Father gorilla tell, hello. 00:04:20.220 --> 00:04:21.209 align:middle line:90% Do mother gorilla. 00:04:21.209 --> 00:04:22.770 align:middle line:90% Hello, do father gorilla. 00:04:22.770 --> 00:04:23.850 align:middle line:90% Together dance. 00:04:23.850 --> 00:04:24.930 align:middle line:90% Clap people. 00:04:24.930 --> 00:04:26.670 align:middle line:90% "Father gorilla harmonica. 00:04:26.670 --> 00:04:28.200 align:middle line:90% Mother gorilla clown time. 00:04:28.200 --> 00:04:29.220 align:middle line:90% Clap people. 00:04:29.220 --> 00:04:29.820 align:middle line:90% Hello! 00:04:29.820 --> 00:04:30.900 align:middle line:90% Do baby gorilla. 00:04:30.900 --> 00:04:31.920 align:middle line:90% Skateboard do. 00:04:31.920 --> 00:04:32.760 align:middle line:90% "Puppet dance do. 00:04:32.760 --> 00:04:33.780 align:middle line:90% Clap people. 00:04:33.780 --> 00:04:35.280 align:middle line:90% Father gorilla kiss. 00:04:35.280 --> 00:04:36.720 align:middle line:90% Mother gorilla kiss. 00:04:36.720 --> 00:04:37.890 align:middle line:90% Gorilla hug. 00:04:37.890 --> 00:04:39.630 align:middle line:90% "Mother gorilla nipple find. 00:04:39.630 --> 00:04:40.710 align:middle line:90% Clap people. 00:04:40.710 --> 00:04:43.680 align:middle line:84% Nipple kiss, nipple rub, nipple pinch, nipple slap, 00:04:43.680 --> 00:04:46.500 align:middle line:84% nipple on bottom, nail clipper nipple, many, many nipple 00:04:46.500 --> 00:04:47.310 align:middle line:90% touch. 00:04:47.310 --> 00:04:48.720 align:middle line:90% Tongue nipple. 00:04:48.720 --> 00:04:51.480 align:middle line:90% Nipple sandwich. 00:04:51.480 --> 00:04:53.490 align:middle line:90% "Mustache man tell, who nipple? 00:04:53.490 --> 00:04:57.060 align:middle line:90% Father gorilla tell, all nipple. 00:04:57.060 --> 00:05:01.740 align:middle line:84% Now, father gorilla, mother gorilla peekaboo pickle. 00:05:01.740 --> 00:05:02.820 align:middle line:90% Poke stomach. 00:05:02.820 --> 00:05:04.890 align:middle line:90% Peekaboo pickle with pat bottom. 00:05:04.890 --> 00:05:06.480 align:middle line:90% With walk up my bottom. 00:05:06.480 --> 00:05:07.320 align:middle line:90% "Pull out hair. 00:05:07.320 --> 00:05:08.190 align:middle line:90% Nasty time. 00:05:08.190 --> 00:05:09.000 align:middle line:90% Mean love. 00:05:09.000 --> 00:05:10.680 align:middle line:90% Mother gorilla leash on pickle. 00:05:10.680 --> 00:05:12.030 align:middle line:90% Skateboard ride do. 00:05:12.030 --> 00:05:13.350 align:middle line:90% Clap people. 00:05:13.350 --> 00:05:16.470 align:middle line:84% "Mother gorilla find baby gorilla little noodle pull. 00:05:16.470 --> 00:05:18.690 align:middle line:90% Zip mouth shut strangle tadpole. 00:05:18.690 --> 00:05:19.645 align:middle line:90% Mayonnaise necklace. 00:05:19.645 --> 00:05:20.520 align:middle line:90% Father gorilla there. 00:05:20.520 --> 00:05:21.420 align:middle line:90% Sit father gorilla. 00:05:21.420 --> 00:05:22.470 align:middle line:90% Thirsty father gorilla. 00:05:22.470 --> 00:05:24.000 align:middle line:90% "Mother gorilla strap-on. 00:05:24.000 --> 00:05:24.990 align:middle line:90% Baby gorilla sit. 00:05:24.990 --> 00:05:26.130 align:middle line:90% Mother gorilla, oh! 00:05:26.130 --> 00:05:27.300 align:middle line:90% Peekaboo pickle! 00:05:27.300 --> 00:05:29.730 align:middle line:90% Trouble pickle. 00:05:29.730 --> 00:05:31.290 align:middle line:90% Baby gorilla get Ingrid." 00:05:31.290 --> 00:05:34.440 align:middle line:84% Yes, one of Koko's vocabulary words is Ingrid. 00:05:34.440 --> 00:05:36.120 align:middle line:90% "Baby gorilla get Ingrid. 00:05:36.120 --> 00:05:37.830 align:middle line:90% Hello, do Ingrid. 00:05:37.830 --> 00:05:39.300 align:middle line:90% Ingrid turn around. 00:05:39.300 --> 00:05:40.500 align:middle line:90% Baby gorilla wrestle. 00:05:40.500 --> 00:05:41.550 align:middle line:90% "Ingrid trouble. 00:05:41.550 --> 00:05:42.330 align:middle line:90% Devil Ingrid. 00:05:42.330 --> 00:05:44.880 align:middle line:90% You bad dirty toilet Ingrid. 00:05:44.880 --> 00:05:46.260 align:middle line:90% Ingrid pudding do. 00:05:46.260 --> 00:05:47.070 align:middle line:90% Ingrid laugh. 00:05:47.070 --> 00:05:47.760 align:middle line:90% Ingrid eats. 00:05:47.760 --> 00:05:48.600 align:middle line:90% Ingrid sick. 00:05:48.600 --> 00:05:50.100 align:middle line:90% "Mother gorilla taste bottle. 00:05:50.100 --> 00:05:51.090 align:middle line:90% Matt batch. 00:05:51.090 --> 00:05:52.530 align:middle line:90% Ingrid electric pudding. 00:05:52.530 --> 00:05:53.760 align:middle line:90% Ingrid get father gorilla. 00:05:53.760 --> 00:05:54.870 align:middle line:90% Pickle bottle match. 00:05:54.870 --> 00:05:57.720 align:middle line:90% "Peekaboo pickle on fire now! 00:05:57.720 --> 00:05:59.760 align:middle line:90% Ingrid whole smoke ring blow. 00:05:59.760 --> 00:06:01.890 align:middle line:84% Mother gorilla whole blow harmonica. 00:06:01.890 --> 00:06:04.170 align:middle line:84% Father gorilla dance balloon on noodle. 00:06:04.170 --> 00:06:05.400 align:middle line:90% "Baby gorilla clown time. 00:06:05.400 --> 00:06:06.420 align:middle line:90% Balloon on tadpole. 00:06:06.420 --> 00:06:07.890 align:middle line:90% Ingrid hole smoke smoke. 00:06:07.890 --> 00:06:09.510 align:middle line:90% Around together skateboard do. 00:06:09.510 --> 00:06:11.670 align:middle line:84% Smoke noodle balloon harmonica ride all. 00:06:11.670 --> 00:06:14.100 align:middle line:84% "Harmonica holes play 'Purple Rain.' 00:06:14.100 --> 00:06:15.690 align:middle line:90% Oh mayonnaise rain! 00:06:15.690 --> 00:06:16.680 align:middle line:90% Oh finished. 00:06:16.680 --> 00:06:18.540 align:middle line:90% Thank you. 00:06:18.540 --> 00:06:20.790 align:middle line:90% "Mustache man tell, wow. 00:06:20.790 --> 00:06:22.260 align:middle line:90% What name show? 00:06:22.260 --> 00:06:25.410 align:middle line:84% Father gorilla tell, we wonderful snob people." 00:06:25.410 --> 00:06:27.540 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHTER] 00:06:27.540 --> 00:06:29.160 align:middle line:90% "Mustache man smile frown. 00:06:29.160 --> 00:06:29.970 align:middle line:90% Drapes." 00:06:29.970 --> 00:06:32.060 align:middle line:90% Thank you very much.