WEBVTT

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Thank you, Larry, for that
very modest introduction.

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Those of us who live
in Tucson the year

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round have to deal with the
intense heat in the summer,

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as you know.

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And I want to tell
you first of all,

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just as a kind of
beginning to my remarks,

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how it is that I deal
with the summer in Tucson.

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I swim, I swim
laps, and I want you

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to know that swimming laps, and
this may not be news to you,

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is the most damnably boring
activity in the world.

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But I have found a way to
combat this deadly boredom.

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I compose epitaphs as I swim.

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[LAUGHTER] It works.

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You you might try it.

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And I now have a kind of world
class collection of epitaphs

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composed in the swimming pool,
going back and forth looking

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at the bottom terribly, or
so I have now a collection

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of epitaphs composed without
benefit of pencil or paper.

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And while completely wet.

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I want to share just one
or two of these with you

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because hell, I don't know,
[LAUGHTER] because I want to.

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I have epitaph composed by laps.

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So I have two lappers and
four lappers, and you know.

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Let me just let me
give you examples, OK.

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I've about three that I'd
like to share with you,

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and then we'll go
on to something

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rather more important.

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But, for example, I have an
epitaph, a two lapper entitled

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"The Minor Writer," and it goes,
"Certainly, it was suicide.

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He read himself until he died."

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[LAUGHTER] Composing
these things

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while swimming is a little
bit like eating peanuts.

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It's addictive.

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You can't stop.

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There's one.

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There's one called
"On Chastity,"

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which I like very much.

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It's a four lapper.

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"Here lies a lady
sweet and chaste.

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Here lies the matter,
chaste is waste."

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[LAUGHTER] Not bad, huh?

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Oh, a year or so
ago, I was invited

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to give the keynote address
to a conference of all things

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ceramic artists.

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This was up at Tempe
and ceramicists,

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ceramic artists from
all over the world

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converged upon Tempe
for this conference.

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And I was asked
to speak to them.

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I had no idea there were so many
ceramic artists in the world.

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They came from everywhere.

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Nor did I realize that they
were so well organized,

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but I wrote an
epitaph in the pool

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before in honor of
this conference,

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and I should like to
share it with you.

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"Here lies the
potter Tim O'Dea, who

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has himself become his clay,
and lest his memory be forgot,

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recycle him into a pot."

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[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

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