Thank you, Larry, for that very modest introduction.
Those of us who live in Tucson the year
round have to deal with the intense heat in the summer,
as you know.
And I want to tell you first of all,
just as a kind of beginning to my remarks,
how it is that I deal with the summer in Tucson.
I swim, I swim laps, and I want you
to know that swimming laps, and this may not be news to you,
is the most damnably boring activity in the world.
But I have found a way to combat this deadly boredom.
I compose epitaphs as I swim.
[LAUGHTER] It works.
You you might try it.
And I now have a kind of world class collection of epitaphs
composed in the swimming pool, going back and forth looking
at the bottom terribly, or so I have now a collection
of epitaphs composed without benefit of pencil or paper.
And while completely wet.
I want to share just one or two of these with you
because hell, I don't know, [LAUGHTER] because I want to.
I have epitaph composed by laps.
So I have two lappers and four lappers, and you know.
Let me just let me give you examples, OK.
I've about three that I'd like to share with you,
and then we'll go on to something
rather more important.
But, for example, I have an epitaph, a two lapper entitled
"The Minor Writer," and it goes, "Certainly, it was suicide.
He read himself until he died."
[LAUGHTER] Composing these things
while swimming is a little bit like eating peanuts.
It's addictive.
You can't stop.
There's one.
There's one called "On Chastity,"
which I like very much.
It's a four lapper.
"Here lies a lady sweet and chaste.
Here lies the matter, chaste is waste."
[LAUGHTER] Not bad, huh?
Oh, a year or so ago, I was invited
to give the keynote address to a conference of all things
ceramic artists.
This was up at Tempe and ceramicists,
ceramic artists from all over the world
converged upon Tempe for this conference.
And I was asked to speak to them.
I had no idea there were so many ceramic artists in the world.
They came from everywhere.
Nor did I realize that they were so well organized,
but I wrote an epitaph in the pool
before in honor of this conference,
and I should like to share it with you.
"Here lies the potter Tim O'Dea, who
has himself become his clay, and lest his memory be forgot,
recycle him into a pot."
[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]