WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.770 align:middle line:90% Thank you so much. 00:00:02.770 --> 00:00:04.140 align:middle line:90% My name is Vidhu Aggarwal. 00:00:04.140 --> 00:00:07.260 align:middle line:84% I'm part of the board, and I just want to thank Prageeta. 00:00:07.260 --> 00:00:10.260 align:middle line:84% I came to Thinking Its Presence in 2015 00:00:10.260 --> 00:00:13.980 align:middle line:84% and it was really a radicalizing moment for me. 00:00:13.980 --> 00:00:19.110 align:middle line:90% And I feel so grateful. 00:00:19.110 --> 00:00:22.050 align:middle line:84% And thank you-- where is Prageeta?-- for your vision. 00:00:22.050 --> 00:00:27.660 align:middle line:84% You are truly a visionary and to me, a space. 00:00:27.660 --> 00:00:28.160 align:middle line:90% OK. 00:00:28.160 --> 00:00:34.050 align:middle line:90% 00:00:34.050 --> 00:00:38.130 align:middle line:90% OK, so we know that Jose Muñoz-- 00:00:38.130 --> 00:00:38.850 align:middle line:90% Esteban Muñoz. 00:00:38.850 --> 00:00:42.450 align:middle line:84% I do not pronounce Spanish well, all right? 00:00:42.450 --> 00:00:46.920 align:middle line:84% At any rate-- but he's a really important figure for me, 00:00:46.920 --> 00:00:50.230 align:middle line:84% and the conference is based on his work on the Ephemeral 00:00:50.230 --> 00:00:50.730 align:middle line:90% Archive. 00:00:50.730 --> 00:00:55.055 align:middle line:84% And I was thinking about what to read and what to do. 00:00:55.055 --> 00:00:56.430 align:middle line:84% And I was thinking of the moments 00:00:56.430 --> 00:01:00.840 align:middle line:84% when I felt most brown, because he has this famous essay 00:01:00.840 --> 00:01:02.790 align:middle line:90% "Feeling Brown, Feeling Down." 00:01:02.790 --> 00:01:06.960 align:middle line:84% And for me, it's always the moments of travel, 00:01:06.960 --> 00:01:08.910 align:middle line:90% of going through the airport. 00:01:08.910 --> 00:01:14.730 align:middle line:84% And I had this one moment when I was a little kid flying 00:01:14.730 --> 00:01:18.360 align:middle line:84% internationally from the US to India, 00:01:18.360 --> 00:01:20.310 align:middle line:90% and we were stopping in London. 00:01:20.310 --> 00:01:25.050 align:middle line:84% And I was thinking about how when you're traveling 00:01:25.050 --> 00:01:28.470 align:middle line:84% you can find-- kind of feel a sympathetic attachment, 00:01:28.470 --> 00:01:31.620 align:middle line:84% an effective vicariousness with other travelers 00:01:31.620 --> 00:01:35.190 align:middle line:84% who might or might not share your identity. 00:01:35.190 --> 00:01:39.150 align:middle line:84% When we were going through customs in London, 00:01:39.150 --> 00:01:42.300 align:middle line:84% a man who was Sikh who was in front of us 00:01:42.300 --> 00:01:45.150 align:middle line:84% had his luggage just tossed on the floor, 00:01:45.150 --> 00:01:47.080 align:middle line:90% his underwear was everywhere. 00:01:47.080 --> 00:01:50.070 align:middle line:84% And it was this moment of leaky shame for me 00:01:50.070 --> 00:01:53.460 align:middle line:84% where I understood that this person was my compatriot, 00:01:53.460 --> 00:01:56.100 align:middle line:90% and yet somehow-- 00:01:56.100 --> 00:02:00.882 align:middle line:84% and that I was implicated somehow in own-- 00:02:00.882 --> 00:02:02.850 align:middle line:90% in his clothing, in his stuff. 00:02:02.850 --> 00:02:05.460 align:middle line:90% His stuff was my stuff. 00:02:05.460 --> 00:02:09.810 align:middle line:84% We had this sort of implicit connection of baggage. 00:02:09.810 --> 00:02:11.650 align:middle line:90% And I was a very small child. 00:02:11.650 --> 00:02:12.360 align:middle line:90% I was 11. 00:02:12.360 --> 00:02:13.793 align:middle line:90% But this was a moment of that. 00:02:13.793 --> 00:02:15.210 align:middle line:84% The second moment that I would say 00:02:15.210 --> 00:02:20.550 align:middle line:84% is when I was actually carrying my father's ashes 00:02:20.550 --> 00:02:24.810 align:middle line:84% through customs in the United States 00:02:24.810 --> 00:02:26.310 align:middle line:90% and bringing them back to India. 00:02:26.310 --> 00:02:27.738 align:middle line:90% And I wanted to talk-- 00:02:27.738 --> 00:02:29.280 align:middle line:84% I don't want to really talk about it, 00:02:29.280 --> 00:02:31.280 align:middle line:84% I'm going to read this poem about actually going 00:02:31.280 --> 00:02:34.440 align:middle line:84% through security, which was a really strange operation 00:02:34.440 --> 00:02:37.740 align:middle line:84% in which we had to get a woman named Fatima to help 00:02:37.740 --> 00:02:39.720 align:middle line:90% us get a visa to go through. 00:02:39.720 --> 00:02:40.950 align:middle line:90% OK, thank you, Fatima. 00:02:40.950 --> 00:02:43.890 align:middle line:90% This poem is for you. 00:02:43.890 --> 00:02:47.190 align:middle line:84% OK, "Notes towards a radioactive sutra 2." 00:02:47.190 --> 00:02:50.730 align:middle line:84% The coordinates of my body ripen on a screen somewhere. 00:02:50.730 --> 00:02:56.610 align:middle line:84% Full body scan with foreign hot spots and 1,000 secret arms. 00:02:56.610 --> 00:03:01.950 align:middle line:84% Small doses of radiation bubble through my DNA. 00:03:01.950 --> 00:03:05.220 align:middle line:84% I carry my body field into security 00:03:05.220 --> 00:03:09.420 align:middle line:84% along with a luxe green velvet drawstring bag. 00:03:09.420 --> 00:03:12.150 align:middle line:90% The bag is heavy and sensual. 00:03:12.150 --> 00:03:15.960 align:middle line:84% It glows with heat, a green glow. 00:03:15.960 --> 00:03:19.770 align:middle line:84% I'm carrying a cluster of desired spells, the neon 00:03:19.770 --> 00:03:23.550 align:middle line:84% light of summer grasses, nuclear summer. 00:03:23.550 --> 00:03:26.430 align:middle line:84% Out of the country, expensive and heavy, 00:03:26.430 --> 00:03:31.470 align:middle line:84% heavy water, half life of a millennia near endless green. 00:03:31.470 --> 00:03:33.570 align:middle line:84% I carry the bag with me into security. 00:03:33.570 --> 00:03:35.640 align:middle line:90% I wait for the alarms to go off. 00:03:35.640 --> 00:03:40.020 align:middle line:84% My body field and ocean with a bright sheen of sweat. 00:03:40.020 --> 00:03:42.210 align:middle line:90% Everyone takes off their shoes. 00:03:42.210 --> 00:03:44.490 align:middle line:84% Everyone takes off their jackets. 00:03:44.490 --> 00:03:47.130 align:middle line:90% Everyone is a threat. 00:03:47.130 --> 00:03:49.950 align:middle line:84% I hold my bag up to the inspector. 00:03:49.950 --> 00:03:52.230 align:middle line:90% I take off my shoes. 00:03:52.230 --> 00:03:55.230 align:middle line:84% The inspector opens the velvet pouch gently. 00:03:55.230 --> 00:04:01.170 align:middle line:84% Inside the bag is an ordinary white cardboard box. 00:04:01.170 --> 00:04:04.740 align:middle line:84% Does nobody notice the sheen, the movement, 00:04:04.740 --> 00:04:06.450 align:middle line:90% the endless grasses? 00:04:06.450 --> 00:04:10.620 align:middle line:84% The inspector wipes the exterior of the box with a test strip. 00:04:10.620 --> 00:04:12.150 align:middle line:90% He does not open the box. 00:04:12.150 --> 00:04:13.500 align:middle line:90% He is respectful. 00:04:13.500 --> 00:04:14.980 align:middle line:90% He wears gloves. 00:04:14.980 --> 00:04:19.019 align:middle line:90% He is loving towards the box. 00:04:19.019 --> 00:04:22.500 align:middle line:84% He holds a test strip under the monitor, enchanted, 00:04:22.500 --> 00:04:24.240 align:middle line:90% drowsed in spells. 00:04:24.240 --> 00:04:26.640 align:middle line:84% I offered the inspector the death certificate. 00:04:26.640 --> 00:04:28.800 align:middle line:84% I offered the inspector my passport. 00:04:28.800 --> 00:04:32.280 align:middle line:90% Nothing beeps, nothing explodes. 00:04:32.280 --> 00:04:33.810 align:middle line:90% I'm returning to the homeland. 00:04:33.810 --> 00:04:34.920 align:middle line:90% Now I'm off. 00:04:34.920 --> 00:04:37.470 align:middle line:84% I'm a daughter who carries a vessel under pressure. 00:04:37.470 --> 00:04:39.360 align:middle line:90% A father, a nuclear engine. 00:04:39.360 --> 00:04:43.320 align:middle line:84% A father bubbles through the DNA of a body field. 00:04:43.320 --> 00:04:45.570 align:middle line:84% A father is what will not degrade, 00:04:45.570 --> 00:04:50.500 align:middle line:84% despite being ground down into powder in extreme heat. 00:04:50.500 --> 00:04:51.000 align:middle line:90%