WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:00.540 align:middle line:90% 00:00:00.540 --> 00:00:03.420 align:middle line:84% So, the second thing that I'm reading from, 00:00:03.420 --> 00:00:05.360 align:middle line:84% it's a manuscript that I'm still working on. 00:00:05.360 --> 00:00:08.010 align:middle line:84% I've been working on it now for about four years. 00:00:08.010 --> 00:00:10.090 align:middle line:84% And it's called A Season of Light. 00:00:10.090 --> 00:00:13.890 align:middle line:84% And so, essentially, the novel begins 00:00:13.890 --> 00:00:18.090 align:middle line:84% with the main character, Amara, returning to her father. 00:00:18.090 --> 00:00:20.408 align:middle line:84% So they've been estranged for many years. 00:00:20.408 --> 00:00:22.200 align:middle line:84% And she returns to her father because she's 00:00:22.200 --> 00:00:24.840 align:middle line:84% been sent by her mother to stop her father from essentially 00:00:24.840 --> 00:00:25.710 align:middle line:90% a suicide mission. 00:00:25.710 --> 00:00:27.353 align:middle line:84% So her father-- and this is sort of all 00:00:27.353 --> 00:00:28.770 align:middle line:84% in the context of things that have 00:00:28.770 --> 00:00:32.040 align:middle line:84% happened within the last year in Nigeria. 00:00:32.040 --> 00:00:39.090 align:middle line:84% In 2015, Nnamdi Kanu was arrested in Nigeria. 00:00:39.090 --> 00:00:43.260 align:middle line:84% He's a revivalist of Radio Biafra. 00:00:43.260 --> 00:00:45.450 align:middle line:84% Radio Biafra was one of the transmitters 00:00:45.450 --> 00:00:47.400 align:middle line:84% that was used during the Nigerian Civil 00:00:47.400 --> 00:00:50.760 align:middle line:90% War for the Biafra nation. 00:00:50.760 --> 00:00:55.830 align:middle line:84% So Nnamdi Kanu is a revivalist there. 00:00:55.830 --> 00:00:58.770 align:middle line:84% And there's a lot of that that's going on right now in Nigeria. 00:00:58.770 --> 00:01:03.000 align:middle line:84% And so, he was a Nigerian who was arrested for treason. 00:01:03.000 --> 00:01:06.510 align:middle line:84% So the father in the book decides 00:01:06.510 --> 00:01:09.030 align:middle line:84% to return to Nigeria in order to re-enlist. 00:01:09.030 --> 00:01:10.620 align:middle line:90% And he's this older man. 00:01:10.620 --> 00:01:11.970 align:middle line:90% He's in his 60s. 00:01:11.970 --> 00:01:13.140 align:middle line:90% He was a prisoner of war. 00:01:13.140 --> 00:01:14.790 align:middle line:84% So it really is a suicide mission. 00:01:14.790 --> 00:01:16.410 align:middle line:90% And this is the one thing-- 00:01:16.410 --> 00:01:19.140 align:middle line:84% her mother sends her because she feels her daughter is 00:01:19.140 --> 00:01:20.740 align:middle line:90% the only one who can stop him. 00:01:20.740 --> 00:01:22.740 align:middle line:84% Now, the problem is that the father and daughter 00:01:22.740 --> 00:01:25.500 align:middle line:84% have had this very strained relationship. 00:01:25.500 --> 00:01:27.090 align:middle line:84% And something happened in the past, 00:01:27.090 --> 00:01:29.170 align:middle line:84% so they've been separated for about 15 years. 00:01:29.170 --> 00:01:31.680 align:middle line:84% And so, this is sort of her homecoming. 00:01:31.680 --> 00:01:33.900 align:middle line:84% The section that I'm going to actually read from 00:01:33.900 --> 00:01:36.773 align:middle line:84% explains a little bit to you about what happened. 00:01:36.773 --> 00:01:38.190 align:middle line:84% So there were tragic circumstances 00:01:38.190 --> 00:01:41.190 align:middle line:90% that led to their splitting up. 00:01:41.190 --> 00:01:45.720 align:middle line:84% "When she was nine years old, Amara's father blinded her. 00:01:45.720 --> 00:01:48.852 align:middle line:84% Her corneas were so thoroughly scratched it was a miracle 00:01:48.852 --> 00:01:50.310 align:middle line:84% that, after months of darkness, she 00:01:50.310 --> 00:01:53.130 align:middle line:90% should wake to see light again. 00:01:53.130 --> 00:01:55.740 align:middle line:84% How could she have known that her father's sacred papers, 00:01:55.740 --> 00:01:57.630 align:middle line:84% the documents hidden away in that old box 00:01:57.630 --> 00:02:00.630 align:middle line:84% up on the top shelf of her parents' bedroom closet, 00:02:00.630 --> 00:02:04.137 align:middle line:84% had been lightly doused along the creases with uda pepper? 00:02:04.137 --> 00:02:05.970 align:middle line:84% How could she have known that the papers had 00:02:05.970 --> 00:02:09.180 align:middle line:84% something to do with the war her parents called Biafra? 00:02:09.180 --> 00:02:12.120 align:middle line:84% A time and place so distant that, upon their arrival 00:02:12.120 --> 00:02:16.200 align:middle line:84% to America, they had promptly chosen to forget. 00:02:16.200 --> 00:02:18.600 align:middle line:84% At nine, she was a troublesome girl 00:02:18.600 --> 00:02:20.910 align:middle line:90% ruled only by her curiosity. 00:02:20.910 --> 00:02:24.690 align:middle line:84% Her younger brother, Chidi, would have smelled the pepper 00:02:24.690 --> 00:02:25.830 align:middle line:90% and sneezed. 00:02:25.830 --> 00:02:28.650 align:middle line:84% But, at that age, Amara could imagine the colors of the world 00:02:28.650 --> 00:02:31.780 align:middle line:84% with such saturation, such dazzling brilliance. 00:02:31.780 --> 00:02:33.930 align:middle line:84% It was the scent of Nigeria that drew her in, 00:02:33.930 --> 00:02:36.780 align:middle line:84% not the gorillas and tigers she saw in Tarzan, 00:02:36.780 --> 00:02:39.605 align:middle line:84% but the windy rivers, lush forests, and outdoor cooking 00:02:39.605 --> 00:02:41.480 align:middle line:84% stoves her mother remembered of her childhood 00:02:41.480 --> 00:02:44.250 align:middle line:90% in Umuahia, before the war. 00:02:44.250 --> 00:02:47.100 align:middle line:84% America was flat, tasteless, and sterile. 00:02:47.100 --> 00:02:49.320 align:middle line:84% The streets were blank and cheerless, 00:02:49.320 --> 00:02:52.155 align:middle line:84% nothing compared to her mother's memories. 00:02:52.155 --> 00:02:54.780 align:middle line:84% This was a scent that filled the kitchen when her mother cooked 00:02:54.780 --> 00:02:57.900 align:middle line:84% her large Sunday dinners, the dinners that Pastor John often 00:02:57.900 --> 00:03:01.860 align:middle line:84% accompanied the family to after Bible study. 00:03:01.860 --> 00:03:05.610 align:middle line:84% So Amara gathered the pages of the blue envelope in her hands. 00:03:05.610 --> 00:03:09.870 align:middle line:84% She ran her fingers along, over the colorful stamps. 00:03:09.870 --> 00:03:12.240 align:middle line:84% Had she taken a quick peek and settled the papers 00:03:12.240 --> 00:03:15.930 align:middle line:84% in their original place, perhaps all could have been averted. 00:03:15.930 --> 00:03:18.210 align:middle line:84% Maybe their lives would have remained steady. 00:03:18.210 --> 00:03:20.645 align:middle line:90% Instead, she grew greedy. 00:03:20.645 --> 00:03:22.020 align:middle line:84% When she had folded the envelope, 00:03:22.020 --> 00:03:24.510 align:middle line:90% she saw a photograph of a girl. 00:03:24.510 --> 00:03:26.940 align:middle line:84% It was the eyes, the deep-set eyes of the girl, 00:03:26.940 --> 00:03:30.300 align:middle line:84% her limber frown, the flick of an eyebrow, that drew Amara in. 00:03:30.300 --> 00:03:32.850 align:middle line:84% She examined the tight curls of the girl's low hair, 00:03:32.850 --> 00:03:34.765 align:middle line:90% tracing her own stiff braids. 00:03:34.765 --> 00:03:37.140 align:middle line:84% She drew the outline of the girl's features over her own, 00:03:37.140 --> 00:03:39.630 align:middle line:84% as if sketching her into existence. 00:03:39.630 --> 00:03:42.240 align:middle line:84% Even the photograph's matte finish couldn't disguise her 00:03:42.240 --> 00:03:45.000 align:middle line:84% dark shiny skin, skin like Amara's. 00:03:45.000 --> 00:03:48.060 align:middle line:84% A mole identical to her father's, perfectly small, 00:03:48.060 --> 00:03:50.490 align:middle line:84% rested just above the girl's lip and answered 00:03:50.490 --> 00:03:52.530 align:middle line:90% Amara's initial inquiry. 00:03:52.530 --> 00:03:55.320 align:middle line:84% The girl was her father's sister. 00:03:55.320 --> 00:03:58.560 align:middle line:84% Suddenly, an exhale of hot breath, a burst 00:03:58.560 --> 00:04:01.890 align:middle line:90% of flames, Amara's face itched. 00:04:01.890 --> 00:04:04.080 align:middle line:90% Searing tears stung her eyes. 00:04:04.080 --> 00:04:05.550 align:middle line:90% Her tongue tasted of pepper. 00:04:05.550 --> 00:04:08.550 align:middle line:84% It filled her nostrils and they began to overflow with mucus. 00:04:08.550 --> 00:04:11.100 align:middle line:84% Her lungs swelled, threatening to splinter her rib cage. 00:04:11.100 --> 00:04:13.950 align:middle line:84% Even her fingertips prickled with the heat. 00:04:13.950 --> 00:04:17.100 align:middle line:84% It was then, her body roaring with the sensation of fire, 00:04:17.100 --> 00:04:20.519 align:middle line:84% her eyes raw, like an open wound, that Amara remembered 00:04:20.519 --> 00:04:22.500 align:middle line:90% her father's playful warning. 00:04:22.500 --> 00:04:25.507 align:middle line:90% I will pepper you, he would say. 00:04:25.507 --> 00:04:28.090 align:middle line:84% It was an empty threat she had heard more times than she could 00:04:28.090 --> 00:04:31.660 align:middle line:84% count, a phrase so silly and foreign to her American ears 00:04:31.660 --> 00:04:34.660 align:middle line:84% that she had learned only to punctuate it with laughter. 00:04:34.660 --> 00:04:37.330 align:middle line:84% Long throat, her father would chastise 00:04:37.330 --> 00:04:41.230 align:middle line:84% when she stole away the spicy suya from his plate, still hot 00:04:41.230 --> 00:04:44.470 align:middle line:84% and stinging in her mouth, I will pepper you. 00:04:44.470 --> 00:04:46.810 align:middle line:84% When she giggled, mocking the strange sounds, 00:04:46.810 --> 00:04:49.720 align:middle line:84% he would playfully condemn, [NON-ENGLISH].. 00:04:49.720 --> 00:04:52.570 align:middle line:84% She would sprawl into his lap, giddy with laughter. 00:04:52.570 --> 00:04:55.750 align:middle line:84% How could she know that to pepper someone was literal, 00:04:55.750 --> 00:04:59.590 align:middle line:84% and to be peppered was the worst pain imaginable? 00:04:59.590 --> 00:05:01.480 align:middle line:84% That muggy afternoon, she brought her fingers 00:05:01.480 --> 00:05:04.540 align:middle line:84% to her eyes, digging at them like an endless pit, 00:05:04.540 --> 00:05:07.360 align:middle line:84% the blaze only growing as the pepper seared into them. 00:05:07.360 --> 00:05:09.670 align:middle line:84% In the ebbs and waves of the roaring pain, 00:05:09.670 --> 00:05:12.700 align:middle line:84% the girl in the photograph's deep-set eyes, and a voice 00:05:12.700 --> 00:05:16.150 align:middle line:90% whispering to her, Biko, please. 00:05:16.150 --> 00:05:18.543 align:middle line:90% [? Koshi, ?] stop. 00:05:18.543 --> 00:05:19.960 align:middle line:84% Only later would she learn that it 00:05:19.960 --> 00:05:22.150 align:middle line:84% was her mother begging her not to cry, 00:05:22.150 --> 00:05:24.190 align:middle line:90% not the girl in the photograph. 00:05:24.190 --> 00:05:29.290 align:middle line:84% Weakness, her mother had said, would only make it burn. 00:05:29.290 --> 00:05:32.830 align:middle line:84% When she awoke, Amara couldn't open her eyes, 00:05:32.830 --> 00:05:34.540 align:middle line:90% but she could feel the gauze. 00:05:34.540 --> 00:05:38.200 align:middle line:84% A voice rang out, discordant, rumbling an untuned organ. 00:05:38.200 --> 00:05:40.270 align:middle line:90% It was Pastor John. 00:05:40.270 --> 00:05:42.280 align:middle line:84% Amara had always believed that he knew only how 00:05:42.280 --> 00:05:43.630 align:middle line:90% to speak through song. 00:05:43.630 --> 00:05:47.290 align:middle line:84% Lord, we are gathered here today, he sang out. 00:05:47.290 --> 00:05:50.260 align:middle line:84% She tried to plug your ears, but her hands were tethered down. 00:05:50.260 --> 00:05:51.940 align:middle line:90% She fought against the ties. 00:05:51.940 --> 00:05:53.320 align:middle line:90% The straps held fast. 00:05:53.320 --> 00:05:56.950 align:middle line:90% Lord, I am your humble servant. 00:05:56.950 --> 00:06:00.880 align:middle line:84% Even with her eyes covered, she could see him. 00:06:00.880 --> 00:06:04.150 align:middle line:84% Sundays, Pastor John, the tall, red-faced albino, 00:06:04.150 --> 00:06:05.920 align:middle line:84% stood sweating on the pulpit as he 00:06:05.920 --> 00:06:07.540 align:middle line:90% bellowed at the congregation. 00:06:07.540 --> 00:06:09.220 align:middle line:84% She could imagine the miniature organ 00:06:09.220 --> 00:06:11.560 align:middle line:84% in his throat vibrating as his breath passed 00:06:11.560 --> 00:06:12.730 align:middle line:90% through its pipes. 00:06:12.730 --> 00:06:16.540 align:middle line:84% To Amara, he was God and Satan rolled in one, 00:06:16.540 --> 00:06:18.340 align:middle line:84% so bendy and serpent-like, so pale 00:06:18.340 --> 00:06:20.770 align:middle line:84% and ghostly with his red-rimmed eyes. 00:06:20.770 --> 00:06:23.500 align:middle line:84% After carefully scrutinizing the Children's Illustrated Bible 00:06:23.500 --> 00:06:25.420 align:middle line:84% she had received in Sunday school, 00:06:25.420 --> 00:06:28.600 align:middle line:84% Amara had once pointed out the similarity to her mother. 00:06:28.600 --> 00:06:30.760 align:middle line:84% A resounding smack to the face was 00:06:30.760 --> 00:06:32.680 align:middle line:90% the answer to her observation. 00:06:32.680 --> 00:06:34.690 align:middle line:84% When Amara ran circles around the gazebo 00:06:34.690 --> 00:06:37.480 align:middle line:84% during the church picnic, Pastor John's pincer-like claws 00:06:37.480 --> 00:06:39.100 align:middle line:90% would latch to her ears. 00:06:39.100 --> 00:06:41.710 align:middle line:84% He'd size her up with his bald, beady eyes. 00:06:41.710 --> 00:06:45.430 align:middle line:84% Troublemaker, he'd howl, his voice rising to a crescendo. 00:06:45.430 --> 00:06:48.340 align:middle line:90% Sinner, he would decrescendo. 00:06:48.340 --> 00:06:50.920 align:middle line:84% He'd beg her to beg for God's forgiveness 00:06:50.920 --> 00:06:54.160 align:middle line:84% because a sin shone through like a glass full of dirty water, 00:06:54.160 --> 00:06:55.360 align:middle line:90% and it hurt. 00:06:55.360 --> 00:06:58.360 align:middle line:84% It hurt so bad to see a sheep separate from the flock 00:06:58.360 --> 00:07:01.180 align:middle line:84% and stumble down the wolf's perilous path. 00:07:01.180 --> 00:07:03.880 align:middle line:84% For years, Amara would peek over her shoulder 00:07:03.880 --> 00:07:05.800 align:middle line:90% in search of that wolf. 00:07:05.800 --> 00:07:08.500 align:middle line:84% But one day, she stopped believing. 00:07:08.500 --> 00:07:13.160 align:middle line:84% His favorite word, fornicator, had mystified Amara for years. 00:07:13.160 --> 00:07:15.640 align:middle line:84% He'd said it so often and so lustily 00:07:15.640 --> 00:07:17.920 align:middle line:84% that Amara was certain that fornicators had knives 00:07:17.920 --> 00:07:21.340 align:middle line:84% for hands and melting faces like Freddy Krueger, 00:07:21.340 --> 00:07:24.100 align:middle line:84% that they hid their ugly faces under a mask like Jason, 00:07:24.100 --> 00:07:27.550 align:middle line:84% and, like Chucky, their skin was the hard, pulsing plastic 00:07:27.550 --> 00:07:29.110 align:middle line:90% of a demonic doll. 00:07:29.110 --> 00:07:31.000 align:middle line:90% And it could bleed. 00:07:31.000 --> 00:07:32.920 align:middle line:84% What a disappointment to one day find 00:07:32.920 --> 00:07:36.010 align:middle line:84% the word, sandwiched between the clinical, uncomplicated words 00:07:36.010 --> 00:07:38.740 align:middle line:84% "formal" and "Fornax," in her father's sturdy Collins 00:07:38.740 --> 00:07:40.035 align:middle line:90% Dictionary. 00:07:40.035 --> 00:07:42.160 align:middle line:84% It only meant to have sexual relations with someone 00:07:42.160 --> 00:07:43.668 align:middle line:90% you hadn't married. 00:07:43.668 --> 00:07:45.460 align:middle line:84% Amara had already learned about good touch, 00:07:45.460 --> 00:07:47.020 align:middle line:90% bad touch in school. 00:07:47.020 --> 00:07:48.970 align:middle line:90% What a disappointment. 00:07:48.970 --> 00:07:50.728 align:middle line:84% After that, her father chuckled when 00:07:50.728 --> 00:07:52.270 align:middle line:84% she called the Easter Bunny and Santa 00:07:52.270 --> 00:07:55.360 align:middle line:84% Claus trite and hackneyed, two other words she had discovered 00:07:55.360 --> 00:07:57.970 align:middle line:90% in the dictionary. 00:07:57.970 --> 00:08:00.610 align:middle line:84% He found it amusing for a gangly girl of nine 00:08:00.610 --> 00:08:04.300 align:middle line:84% to be so thoroughly disillusioned and cynical. 00:08:04.300 --> 00:08:06.220 align:middle line:84% But lying in the hospital, her hands 00:08:06.220 --> 00:08:09.160 align:middle line:84% tethered to the bed, her eyes wrapped in gauze, 00:08:09.160 --> 00:08:11.590 align:middle line:90% Amara became a believer. 00:08:11.590 --> 00:08:16.900 align:middle line:84% Sinners earned eternal damnation, a fiery pit, 00:08:16.900 --> 00:08:21.370 align:middle line:84% Pastor John sang, and nothing can salve the burn but God's 00:08:21.370 --> 00:08:22.990 align:middle line:90% forgiveness. 00:08:22.990 --> 00:08:25.450 align:middle line:84% Only hell could explain the fire, 00:08:25.450 --> 00:08:28.900 align:middle line:84% not uda pepper, harmlessly sandwiched between the oregano 00:08:28.900 --> 00:08:30.940 align:middle line:84% and thyme in her mother's kitchen cabinet, 00:08:30.940 --> 00:08:33.880 align:middle line:84% pounded into a fine black dust to be sprinkled 00:08:33.880 --> 00:08:37.390 align:middle line:84% into her mother's pepper soup and the hot, meaty, skewered 00:08:37.390 --> 00:08:38.830 align:middle line:90% suya. 00:08:38.830 --> 00:08:41.950 align:middle line:84% Oh, holy Lord, forgive us our trespass. 00:08:41.950 --> 00:08:46.030 align:middle line:84% Thou who hath forsaken my Lord, shall they perish. 00:08:46.030 --> 00:08:48.520 align:middle line:84% Amara became a believer, a believer 00:08:48.520 --> 00:08:51.130 align:middle line:84% in demons and hellfire, a believer in a talking 00:08:51.130 --> 00:08:53.110 align:middle line:90% serpent and God wrapped in one. 00:08:53.110 --> 00:08:55.510 align:middle line:84% A rush of flaming waves doused her. 00:08:55.510 --> 00:08:57.070 align:middle line:90% Lava ran from her eyes. 00:08:57.070 --> 00:08:58.480 align:middle line:90% Her nostrils rippled with pain. 00:08:58.480 --> 00:08:59.530 align:middle line:90% Her throat burned. 00:08:59.530 --> 00:09:01.900 align:middle line:84% She thrashed in every effort to pry her eyeballs 00:09:01.900 --> 00:09:03.610 align:middle line:90% free of her face. 00:09:03.610 --> 00:09:06.280 align:middle line:84% And because her mother urged her not to cry, 00:09:06.280 --> 00:09:09.040 align:middle line:84% the strange sound of laughter filled the room. 00:09:09.040 --> 00:09:12.980 align:middle line:90% Sinner, Pastor John sang. 00:09:12.980 --> 00:09:15.920 align:middle line:90% Pastor John will not come again. 00:09:15.920 --> 00:09:18.433 align:middle line:84% Amara eased toward her mother's voice. 00:09:18.433 --> 00:09:19.850 align:middle line:84% With darkness surrounding her, she 00:09:19.850 --> 00:09:22.430 align:middle line:84% tried to swallow the words as her mother said them. 00:09:22.430 --> 00:09:25.280 align:middle line:84% She tried to whisper to block out Pastor John's wavering 00:09:25.280 --> 00:09:28.010 align:middle line:84% proclamation as it ebbed at the back of her head, 00:09:28.010 --> 00:09:30.440 align:middle line:90% but her throat was raw and achy. 00:09:30.440 --> 00:09:33.770 align:middle line:84% Her mother's fingers met Amara's lips, silencing her. 00:09:33.770 --> 00:09:36.830 align:middle line:84% She told Amara that what she had experienced was a panic attack. 00:09:36.830 --> 00:09:38.600 align:middle line:84% Anxiety, like an electric volt, had 00:09:38.600 --> 00:09:41.990 align:middle line:84% sent a charge through her body and forced her nerves to fire. 00:09:41.990 --> 00:09:44.570 align:middle line:84% Since her senses had last been attuned to trauma, 00:09:44.570 --> 00:09:46.530 align:middle line:84% that was where they had picked up again. 00:09:46.530 --> 00:09:49.010 align:middle line:84% That was why she felt fire, tasted fire, 00:09:49.010 --> 00:09:51.680 align:middle line:90% could hear its hiss in her ears. 00:09:51.680 --> 00:09:53.450 align:middle line:84% Her mother's words didn't calm Amara. 00:09:53.450 --> 00:09:56.270 align:middle line:84% So instead, for the first time since an annoyed seven-year-old 00:09:56.270 --> 00:09:58.730 align:middle line:84% Amara had declared that they were didactic, 00:09:58.730 --> 00:10:02.240 align:middle line:90% her mother told her a tale. 00:10:02.240 --> 00:10:04.100 align:middle line:84% In her mother's stories, Amara learned 00:10:04.100 --> 00:10:08.030 align:middle line:84% of how the tortoise earned his shell, how Ekwensu outwitted 00:10:08.030 --> 00:10:11.360 align:middle line:84% his captors, how Amadioha exacted fury, 00:10:11.360 --> 00:10:14.390 align:middle line:90% and how Ala must be placated. 00:10:14.390 --> 00:10:19.850 align:middle line:84% That day, her mother returned to the story of Mkpụrụ Obi. 00:10:19.850 --> 00:10:24.380 align:middle line:84% When you were a baby, Chukwu planted mkpụrụ, a seed, 00:10:24.380 --> 00:10:28.370 align:middle line:84% in your obi, she said, stabbing Amara in the chest. 00:10:28.370 --> 00:10:30.800 align:middle line:84% I fed you my milk each time you cried. 00:10:30.800 --> 00:10:32.540 align:middle line:84% And it fertilized that seed until it 00:10:32.540 --> 00:10:36.770 align:middle line:84% bloomed into a marvelous flower in the shape of a heart. 00:10:36.770 --> 00:10:39.770 align:middle line:84% She ran her fingers along the length of Amara's rib cage. 00:10:39.770 --> 00:10:42.020 align:middle line:84% This heart of yours has a stem and roots 00:10:42.020 --> 00:10:45.200 align:middle line:84% that are connected to all the parts of your body, she said. 00:10:45.200 --> 00:10:48.590 align:middle line:84% And if you are still, and if you are quiet, 00:10:48.590 --> 00:10:53.000 align:middle line:84% you can feel the flower get nicked by the breeze. 00:10:53.000 --> 00:10:55.790 align:middle line:84% Amara played along, holding still, 00:10:55.790 --> 00:10:58.220 align:middle line:84% careful not to twitch a single muscle. 00:10:58.220 --> 00:11:01.700 align:middle line:84% This time, she promised herself, I will not sleep. 00:11:01.700 --> 00:11:04.430 align:middle line:84% This time I will feel the seed in my chest 00:11:04.430 --> 00:11:06.350 align:middle line:90% that is now a flower. 00:11:06.350 --> 00:11:09.680 align:middle line:84% Still, day came with the warmth of the sun 00:11:09.680 --> 00:11:11.540 align:middle line:90% and her mother was gone. 00:11:11.540 --> 00:11:14.690 align:middle line:84% Nevertheless, Amara knew with sudden certainty 00:11:14.690 --> 00:11:17.240 align:middle line:90% that she was not alone. 00:11:17.240 --> 00:11:20.450 align:middle line:84% She couldn't see her father, she couldn't hear him, 00:11:20.450 --> 00:11:22.730 align:middle line:84% but she could sense his presence. 00:11:22.730 --> 00:11:24.080 align:middle line:90% Her body clenched. 00:11:24.080 --> 00:11:25.640 align:middle line:90% Daddy, she called out. 00:11:25.640 --> 00:11:27.110 align:middle line:90% Daddy? 00:11:27.110 --> 00:11:30.260 align:middle line:84% Moments passed, moments burdened by the ache of his presence. 00:11:30.260 --> 00:11:32.870 align:middle line:84% It's shaped like the shell of a picked-open scar pulsing 00:11:32.870 --> 00:11:35.090 align:middle line:84% in the periphery of the darkness. 00:11:35.090 --> 00:11:39.080 align:middle line:84% And then, suddenly, she felt surrounded by his absence. 00:11:39.080 --> 00:11:40.922 align:middle line:84% How could Amara have known that it 00:11:40.922 --> 00:11:43.130 align:middle line:84% would be the last time she would share the same space 00:11:43.130 --> 00:11:46.160 align:middle line:90% with her father for 15 years?" 00:11:46.160 --> 00:11:47.090 align:middle line:90% Thank you so much. 00:11:47.090 --> 00:11:50.440 align:middle line:90% [APPLAUSE] 00:11:50.440 --> 00:11:51.000 align:middle line:90%