WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:05.901 align:middle line:84% Well, now I'm working on a prose book. 00:00:05.901 --> 00:00:07.359 align:middle line:84% And I'll read a couple of sections. 00:00:07.359 --> 00:00:10.250 align:middle line:90% 00:00:10.250 --> 00:00:14.840 align:middle line:84% I worked in the poets in the school program for 15 years. 00:00:14.840 --> 00:00:18.470 align:middle line:84% And what I've been trying to write about 00:00:18.470 --> 00:00:27.710 align:middle line:84% is to try and capture some of the complexity about being 00:00:27.710 --> 00:00:32.420 align:middle line:84% Black, middle class, light skinned. 00:00:32.420 --> 00:00:41.720 align:middle line:84% About having internalized a lot of the stuff about racism 00:00:41.720 --> 00:00:49.340 align:middle line:84% and needing to say some of the stuff 00:00:49.340 --> 00:00:53.240 align:middle line:84% that I've internalized to put it out there, even though I don't 00:00:53.240 --> 00:00:58.140 align:middle line:84% like to talk about some of these issues 00:00:58.140 --> 00:01:01.170 align:middle line:90% because it entails revealing. 00:01:01.170 --> 00:01:04.550 align:middle line:90% 00:01:04.550 --> 00:01:06.700 align:middle line:84% Well, some of the ugly things-- you 00:01:06.700 --> 00:01:10.030 align:middle line:84% know Shelby Steele says that when you talk about race, 00:01:10.030 --> 00:01:18.190 align:middle line:84% there's no greater distance about any other subject. 00:01:18.190 --> 00:01:23.020 align:middle line:84% More in race between the public self and the private self. 00:01:23.020 --> 00:01:25.040 align:middle line:90% You get it. 00:01:25.040 --> 00:01:30.020 align:middle line:84% There's this vast difference between what people 00:01:30.020 --> 00:01:33.920 align:middle line:84% say and talk about out loud and the private stuff 00:01:33.920 --> 00:01:35.540 align:middle line:90% that's going on in their heart. 00:01:35.540 --> 00:01:39.740 align:middle line:84% And in fact, what I found is you've got a public self, 00:01:39.740 --> 00:01:44.930 align:middle line:84% you've got a private self, and you've got a private self 00:01:44.930 --> 00:01:47.330 align:middle line:84% because there's a lot of stuff you don't even 00:01:47.330 --> 00:01:49.880 align:middle line:90% want to say to yourself. 00:01:49.880 --> 00:01:53.180 align:middle line:84% And you've then you push it down even more private. 00:01:53.180 --> 00:01:57.320 align:middle line:84% So I've been trying to get at the private private self 00:01:57.320 --> 00:01:59.700 align:middle line:84% and write about some of that stuff. 00:01:59.700 --> 00:02:06.180 align:middle line:84% And so I'm just going to read a couple of these things. 00:02:06.180 --> 00:02:09.370 align:middle line:90% This is called "Lightning Bug." 00:02:09.370 --> 00:02:12.070 align:middle line:84% These are the ones I'm going to read 00:02:12.070 --> 00:02:15.880 align:middle line:84% to about children and about me observing children and working 00:02:15.880 --> 00:02:16.840 align:middle line:90% with them. 00:02:16.840 --> 00:02:18.100 align:middle line:90% "Lightning Bug." 00:02:18.100 --> 00:02:22.270 align:middle line:84% "Last week I was teaching poetry to a group of eight-year-olds. 00:02:22.270 --> 00:02:25.690 align:middle line:84% I asked the children to do a self-portrait with words. 00:02:25.690 --> 00:02:29.980 align:middle line:84% One girl, a Black girl, Alicia, didn't like the way she looked. 00:02:29.980 --> 00:02:31.990 align:middle line:84% I told her for everything she named 00:02:31.990 --> 00:02:33.670 align:middle line:84% that she didn't like about herself, 00:02:33.670 --> 00:02:36.910 align:middle line:84% I would name one thing I didn't like about myself. 00:02:36.910 --> 00:02:38.080 align:middle line:90% She named teeth. 00:02:38.080 --> 00:02:39.190 align:middle line:90% I named stomach. 00:02:39.190 --> 00:02:40.330 align:middle line:90% She named fat. 00:02:40.330 --> 00:02:41.500 align:middle line:90% I named feet. 00:02:41.500 --> 00:02:42.880 align:middle line:90% She named hair. 00:02:42.880 --> 00:02:44.620 align:middle line:90% She named skin. 00:02:44.620 --> 00:02:46.570 align:middle line:84% This little girl in the second grade 00:02:46.570 --> 00:02:50.290 align:middle line:84% thinks she is ugly because of her hair and skin. 00:02:50.290 --> 00:02:52.540 align:middle line:84% She said the only pretty girl in the class 00:02:52.540 --> 00:02:55.060 align:middle line:90% is Tracy, the white girl. 00:02:55.060 --> 00:02:57.070 align:middle line:84% I sat down next to her and told her 00:02:57.070 --> 00:02:59.890 align:middle line:84% how when I was in second grade, all the girls were 00:02:59.890 --> 00:03:02.380 align:middle line:84% drawing pictures of white women, movie stars 00:03:02.380 --> 00:03:06.460 align:middle line:84% and saying when they grow up, they wanted to look like them. 00:03:06.460 --> 00:03:09.430 align:middle line:84% I asked her if she understood what I was saying. 00:03:09.430 --> 00:03:13.790 align:middle line:84% She said I was trying to tell her she would never be white. 00:03:13.790 --> 00:03:15.740 align:middle line:84% Another girl in the class told me 00:03:15.740 --> 00:03:18.260 align:middle line:84% that if you were going to Black Muslim school, 00:03:18.260 --> 00:03:21.140 align:middle line:84% you would think white people were ugly. 00:03:21.140 --> 00:03:24.110 align:middle line:84% Yes, I said, but I wonder if it's 00:03:24.110 --> 00:03:27.900 align:middle line:90% possible to break all mirrors. 00:03:27.900 --> 00:03:32.430 align:middle line:84% I told Alicia that to me she is beautiful, her hair, her eyes, 00:03:32.430 --> 00:03:34.050 align:middle line:90% her skin, her nose. 00:03:34.050 --> 00:03:35.820 align:middle line:84% I told her the most beautiful thing 00:03:35.820 --> 00:03:38.470 align:middle line:84% about her is the energy inside of her, 00:03:38.470 --> 00:03:40.470 align:middle line:90% which is so full and bright. 00:03:40.470 --> 00:03:44.250 align:middle line:84% It bursts out as if she has a lightning bug inside. 00:03:44.250 --> 00:03:46.200 align:middle line:90% She wrote this poem. 00:03:46.200 --> 00:03:48.090 align:middle line:90% My name is Alicia. 00:03:48.090 --> 00:03:50.700 align:middle line:84% Mrs. Derricotte thinks I'm pretty. 00:03:50.700 --> 00:03:53.700 align:middle line:84% She says I have a lightning bug inside me, 00:03:53.700 --> 00:03:56.590 align:middle line:90% and that makes me smile. 00:03:56.590 --> 00:04:00.400 align:middle line:84% Later, I wondered why lightning bug? 00:04:00.400 --> 00:04:04.660 align:middle line:84% Was light inside the same as light outside? 00:04:04.660 --> 00:04:09.700 align:middle line:84% Was dark inside the same as dark outside? 00:04:09.700 --> 00:04:13.600 align:middle line:84% Had I substituted something even more insidious 00:04:13.600 --> 00:04:14.965 align:middle line:90% because it is abstract?" 00:04:14.965 --> 00:04:18.459 align:middle line:90% 00:04:18.459 --> 00:04:20.060 align:middle line:90% Language is amazing. 00:04:20.060 --> 00:04:22.180 align:middle line:90% Isn't it? 00:04:22.180 --> 00:04:25.750 align:middle line:84% You just have to be so aware, I think, 00:04:25.750 --> 00:04:28.500 align:middle line:84% when you're working with language. 00:04:28.500 --> 00:04:29.000 align:middle line:90%